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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I remember the first time I saw my wife's fanny. I stared at it in horror for a while shocked at the enormity of it, she was hanging out like a burst couch. Seeing the look of shock upon my face she explained; I hope it doesn't put you off but many years ago I caught my vagina trying to climb over a barbed wire fence, I said" how far across the fucking field were you before you realised it was snagged
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"How many Emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just sit in the dark and cry."
Lol - reminds me of a social work joke:
Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - it's not in their job description. However, 15 social workers can get together and create a working guide to Coping With Darkness.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A 66 yr old woman goes to the doctors and says
" doc i wake up feeling great but when i get out of bed i get really bad chest pains."
The doctor replies "aw yes i know whats wrong"
She replies "is it my heart? My lungs? Angina?"
He replies " no youre walking on your tits" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A guy goes in to a tattoo studio wanting all of his back tattooed and asks the artist for some ideas.
How about an Indian with all the head gear replies the artist.
Great says the guy and strips of as the artist gets down to work
Two hours in the guy asks "can you put a tomahawk in the Indians hand"
The artist replies "wait there I'm just finishing of his turban"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An ex once told me I was childish and immature, so pointed out if this was the case I wouldn't be allowed an arsfor.
What's an arsfor she said.
Doing stinky poo poos I said . |
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"Lol - reminds me of a social work joke:
Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None - it's not in their job description. However, 15 social workers can get together and create a working guide to Coping With Darkness.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man walks into a doctors surgery naked with cling film wrapped around him and says
"Doctor, I think I'm going crazy"
Doctor replies
"Well, I can clearly see your nuts"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two prostitutes are stood chatting about their experiences.
"Have you ever been caught by the fuzz?" The other prostitute replies, "No, but I've been swung around by my tits."
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"A kid dressed up as a pirate for Halloween, a lady asked him where are your buccaneers, the kid said under my bucking hat "
Lol
Was thinking about you earlier...
Q: What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times?
A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago
where the road goes on forever |
"Q: What's black, white, and red all over and doesn't fit through a revolving door?
A: A nun with a spear through her head.
"
what do you call a guy with NV no arms and no legs who just lays in front of a door ? ..... matt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A young woman goes into the doctors. He tells her the tests shows she is pregnant. "I can't be!! I am a virgin!!" She exclaimed.
The doctor takes a pair of binoculars from his draw and uses them to look out the window. After a while the young woman asks what he is doing. He replied "Last time this happened 3 wise men came from the East; and i don't want to miss them"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A woman goes into the doctors and says
"doc i really need your help. I am a 100% nymphomanic"
The doctor say " go behind the screen and take your clothes off"
The woman replies "where will i put them?"
The doc replies "over here on top of mine!" |
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just phoned my doctor for my STD results.
I said, "Hi Doc, do you have my results?"
He said, "Yes, it's not the best news you could`ve hoped for, I posted them yesterday."
I said, "First class?"
He said, "No, Facebook." |
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at some of these "jokes"
