Here's my contribution. Other contributions are very welcome.
L was very excited when I told her that I had written her a romantic poem.
The title is 'Hangover Horn'
When I woke up, I fancied a fuck
But didn't know if I'd be in luck
Now you're awake, I've seen your state
I think I'd rather masturbate.
(Apologies for any spelling errors - it's difficult to type with a bruised eye socket and fractured cheek bone!)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dad Dancing
Trip the light fantastic
More like snap my Knickers elastic
I was not built to trip the light fandango
But drink ten bottles of Tango
I am not cut of to dance
I will have you know I am from France
Ballet and tap are not on my list
That is of course I am totally pissed
The Charleston or Rumba would hurt my feet
As for Salsa well the floor my arse I would meet
I have tried all these wiggles and moves
To be hip and trendy be in the grooves
But the reality is that I am what I am
A dad that dances a family man
Brought out at do to grace the floor
The OkeCoke and New York please no more
Dad dancing is the source great torment
For ones kids perhaps deep embarrassment
I am not built to trip the light fantastic
My legs are made out of plastic
Never will I grace the stage of strictly come dancing
No not for me the telly I will be enhancing
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
Hi how are you doing today?
I got veris from men &TV but I’m straight I say
Seen your pictures and you look really hot
Here darling take a look at my cock shot
I’m very well endowed don’t you know
Much, much bigger than your favourite dildo
Not had much luck on here, my sex life’s quite
dull
But as the wise man says- patience, lol
However if this offer you should decline
It will be your loss and not mine
Come now treacle don’t put up a fight
Come on babe let us both meet tonight
Of all the guys on here let me be your pick
Can’t wait until you are sucking on my dick
Hurry now, don’t leave your reply too late
Just one thing though- I can’t accommodate
Though I do have a car that was made in Spain
So I could take you dogging down lover’s lane
I know that good men on here are quite sparse
But I’m a great guy, let me do you up the arse
I’ve got all the banter and the Craic
We could even do this thing bareback
Or bring your sexy friend for a threesome
Guaranteed to make me heavily cum
Shaved all over so I’m not hairy like an
orang-utan
Could I bring my mates over for a gangbang
Let’s go to a swingers club for some cavorting
And maybe a spot of watersporting
Will shag you so hard and leave you begging
Perhaps even give me some cheeky pegging
After all this fun I could be quite spent
And now as the old saying went
Roses are red and violets are blue
I have cake and some Haribo too
So sweetheart it seems you are in luck
Fancy a fuck? |
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Ok today's was romantic:
When I woke up
I fancied a fuck
But I didn't know
If I'd be in luck
So I whispered 'I love you,
I love you to bits,
would you mind
if i cum on your tits?'
She said 'if that is romantic
then romance is dead!'
'I said 'ok my lover
I'll come on your face instead.'
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