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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It seems one of the most annoying emails to receive are the one liners. So I thought off a cunning short cut.
Instead of going to the trouble of writing to you wiht one liners, they could just type your name into this database and up would pop what you think is vital information to satisfy their curiosity
These are my top 10 answers to the one line questions.
1. Yes I do like large girth
2. No I dont do it up the arse
3. No you cant come over now
4. Yes they are real
5. No I wont fuck you and your brother
6. No you can't borrow my underwear
7. No I never piss myself during sex
8. No I don't have a swinging sister
9. Only if I can fist you in the mouth
10. That looks sore!
Sorted! 
What would your list contain? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1. But it's beautifully formed.
2. No it's not alopecia.
3. It's not big I've just got a small head.
4. It's not that big I've just got small hands.
5. Because black & white doesn't show up the zits.
6. It WOULD be bigger if I had photo shop.
7. Because I went to school.
8. Because every time I have sex with your wife/girlfriend/partner she bakes me a cake.
9. No. Not even with a Jimmy Edwards tache.
10. Did you say 'with custard'?
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"1 - feck off!
2 - feck off!
3 - feck off!
4 - feck off!
5 - feck off!
6 - feck off!
7 - feck off!
8 - feck off!
9 - feck off!
10 - which bit of "feck off" didn't you understand?"
would you care to expand on what exactly you mean by this  |
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"1 - feck off!
2 - feck off!
3 - feck off!
4 - feck off!
5 - feck off!
6 - feck off!
7 - feck off!
8 - feck off!
9 - feck off!
10 - which bit of "feck off" didn't you understand?
would you care to expand on what exactly you mean by this "
And people wonder why so many just don't bother replying  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1 eh no
2 sorry no thanks
3 eh nope ta vey much
4 no
5 no
6 no the footy is feckin on
7 no
8 really i can just have a wank thanks no
9 ehhhh thats illegal in like all states and countries - let me press my oh my fuckin god its anthony hopkins button
10 oh haloo how do you do it must be once in a blue moon and very nice to meet you
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By *ee8to10TV/TS
over a year ago
Preston |
"Go Back To Profile And Read It This Time.
LOL so true!"
...and it's not too much of a surprise when they never send another message.
Still, if they only sent a one-liner in the first place, then they didn't waste too much of their time.
I blame men. A lot of them seem to be dazzled by pictures so words are just a blur. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I blame men. A lot of them seem to be dazzled by pictures so words are just a blur."
And yet there are many TVs with teletext.... 
...even those still waiting for the full switchover. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im just a blow up doll that talks
Yes they are real, they never insert implants that sag to the knees
I have pants older than you
I cant teach you anything, I dont know myself
I dont like pain
Thank you Im very flattered
They are my real eyes
I dont like to get untidy
Not in my hair as it tangles
I enjoy it but not for hours
Gag reflex is not great
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
1.yes I do fancy a fuck, just not with you!!!
2. not a hope in hell pal
3. did you read my profile
4. read the fucking thing again
5. which part of not meeting don't you understand
6. can you say that again in English please
7. hahahahaha, in yer dreams matey
8. away and fuck yourself, only one you will get
9. would you use that language in front of your mother
10. no I won't leave my daughter in the house by herself so I can come out to your car and give you bj
. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"1.yes I do fancy a fuck, just not with you!!!
2. not a hope in hell pal
3. did you read my profile
4. read the fucking thing again
5. which part of not meeting don't you understand
6. can you say that again in English please
7. hahahahaha, in yer dreams matey
8. away and fuck yourself, only one you will get
9. would you use that language in front of your mother
10. no I won't leave my daughter in the house by herself so I can come out to your car and give you bj
. "
So that's a no then |
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By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago
the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands |
1 Does your Mother know you’re still up?
2 Did you wash behind your ears earlier?
3 Didn’t you learn from your school detention this afternoon?
4 The shorts would be OK if you could just wash your knees!
5I know the priest said pray everynight, but isn’t this taking it too far?
6 You left your dinner, but you still want dessert?
7 I guess you’ve mislaid your conker then?
8 Are you past the pig tail pulling stage?
9 Keep reading the comics, they may help you develop further than the one liners
10 Now what part of woe be tide don’t you understand boy?
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Thats all really xx 
