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Idiotic incidents
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a pencil sharpener that has a rubber on one end... I've gotten into the habit of opening the sharpener end instead of the rubber end so sharpenings get everywhere  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a pencil sharpener that has a rubber on one end... I've gotten into the habit of opening the sharpener end instead of the rubber end so sharpenings get everywhere "
Put a sticker on 1 end? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a pencil sharpener that has a rubber on one end... I've gotten into the habit of opening the sharpener end instead of the rubber end so sharpenings get everywhere
Put a sticker on 1 end?"
I'm considering just leaving the covering on the rubber end off!
Added to that, I keep my colouring pencils super sharp and I do accidentally stab myself with them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So what have you done lately that was just plain dumb?
A friend came round the other evening, she's really house proud and picky, I'd not got the washing up done and knew she would comment, so I hid the evidence in the oven. Last night we ate out, today I put the oven on to heat up, went off to do over things, and then wondered what the godawful smell was. Melted plastic. 
I'd have left the washing up where it was. Any friend of mine who commented wouldn't be a friend for long. My friends come to visit me. Not my house. "
Friend was probably the wrong term to use. Family connected aquaintance. It's easier to tolerate the once every 3-4 month half hour of being looking down on than upset the apple cart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read a sentence about 'Late show host David Letterman' THEN shouted out 'Letterman has died'
I can only applaud. Truly brilliant  "
I know.
This was this afternoon! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Once I married a fat ginger mare who was a hypochondriac mean evil scheming bitch ; but luckily I got away with it!
"
Did well to get away with that. I'm scared just reading it! |
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By *tyoursCouple
over a year ago
southampton |
I once parked in a space in a multistory which was a bit tight but i got in, then i thought to myself i'll never get out of this space so i backed up and parked in another space instead lol....... Now i hear all the men thinking only a woman lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I read a sentence about 'Late show host David Letterman' THEN shouted out 'Letterman has died'
"
thank you for that chuckle!
You have made me feel a bit better about spending a whole five minutes just now trying to turn my phone back on until I realised I was pressing the volume up button!! Wrong side completely I've only had the damn thing for a year and a bit!! |
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"So what have you done lately that was just plain dumb?
A friend came round the other evening, she's really house proud and picky, I'd not got the washing up done and knew she would comment, so I hid the evidence in the oven. Last night we ate out, today I put the oven on to heat up, went off to do over things, and then wondered what the godawful smell was. Melted plastic.
Did a simular thing once. My FWB was coming over to mine, last minute plans and I has a whole weekends worth of washing up! I had been having a lazy weekend. So I shoved it all into my top loader washing machine...... 
Hid it in there till he went home the next day.
Can you imagine the noise if you'd put the machine on?!  "
It'd come out sparkly clean, though. And you'd end up with a lot more crockery, what with all the pieces |
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Put a clowns outfit on at the start of a party thought it was great was oblivious to the fact i hadnt taken it back of and had worn it all night so every sodding picture with me on im in a clown outfit |
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Having read this I just went to check my oven and found some bacon from about a week ago.
I have managed to stab myself in the nose at least 3 times, drawing blood.
Recently I went to meet two friends for a coffee in town and turned up a week early.
In a recent convo on here with someone they asked about an OP date and I thought they were talking about one of the dating threads on here. I'm due an operation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Put a clowns outfit on at the start of a party thought it was great was oblivious to the fact i hadnt taken it back of and had worn it all night so every sodding picture with me on im in a clown outfit"
Oooohh lucky not to find someone scared off them. Seend a popular 'phobia' lately. |
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"So what have you done lately that was just plain dumb?
A friend came round the other evening, she's really house proud and picky, I'd not got the washing up done and knew she would comment, so I hid the evidence in the oven. Last night we ate out, today I put the oven on to heat up, went off to do over things, and then wondered what the godawful smell was. Melted plastic.
I'd have left the washing up where it was. Any friend of mine who commented wouldn't be a friend for long. My friends come to visit me. Not my house. "
This!!! Especially lately, housework is the last thing on my mind |
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"Once I married a fat ginger mare who was a hypochondriac mean evil scheming bitch ; but luckily I got away with it!
Did well to get away with that. I'm scared just reading it!"
No need to be scared, it is firmly attached to the next person it is leaching off; whereas I only the other hand have a very nice Butterfly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine just happend. Went away for a week's holiday pretty paid £25 to park at airport for the week. When I got back in realised I parked in the wrong car park had to pay £172 to get out
 |
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Going to the middle east in search of endangered wild cats in 50'c heat...
My kids are very caring, my son gave me his gopro so I can record being mauled by a leopard...
Apparently that could go viral.... Yay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was watching a prog on sky play back (other tv viewing boxes are available!) I was in the middle of an ad break and decided to fast forward the ads, when it got to the prog again I thought it was familiar then it went straight to another ad break. I realised my hair is blonde and I'd been holding the remote the wrong way round |
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"Having read this I just went to check my oven and found some bacon from about a week ago.
I have managed to stab myself in the nose at least 3 times, drawing blood.
Recently I went to meet two friends for a coffee in town and turned up a week early.
In a recent convo on here with someone they asked about an OP date and I thought they were talking about one of the dating threads on here. I'm due an operation "
You should really stop stabbing yourself in the nose with week-old bacon, you know. |
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"I read a sentence about 'Late show host David Letterman' THEN shouted out 'Letterman has died'
thank you for that chuckle!
You have made me feel a bit better about spending a whole five minutes just now trying to turn my phone back on until I realised I was pressing the volume up button!! Wrong side completely I've only had the damn thing for a year and a bit!! "
Ha Ha is g3orgie flustered  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Going to the middle east in search of endangered wild cats in 50'c heat...
My kids are very caring, my son gave me his gopro so I can record being mauled by a leopard...
Apparently that could go viral.... Yay "
I want to come!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Booked a gel manicure, sat in chair, whacked 3 nails on the side of the chair, and barely had any nails left!"
Ouch! Broken nails are an awful feeling!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Recycled my dramas group hall rental for a quarter, instead of paying it in.
That cost me hard! "
Oh bloody hell!! I threw away an envelope with 80 quid in it at Xmas, luckily missed the recycle bin day as it had changed days, so realised and found it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mine just happend. Went away for a week's holiday pretty paid £25 to park at airport for the week. When I got back in realised I parked in the wrong car park had to pay £172 to get out
"
Damn. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I once parked in a space in a multistory which was a bit tight but i got in, then i thought to myself i'll never get out of this space so i backed up and parked in another space instead lol....... Now i hear all the men thinking only a woman lol"
That's some really blonde logic!
(No offence to any blonde's) |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Recycled my dramas group hall rental for a quarter, instead of paying it in.
That cost me hard!
Oh bloody hell!! I threw away an envelope with 80 quid in it at Xmas, luckily missed the recycle bin day as it had changed days, so realised and found it."
Very very lucky...mine was £300...I often wonder if anyone ever found it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Having read this I just went to check my oven and found some bacon from about a week ago.
I have managed to stab myself in the nose at least 3 times, drawing blood.
Recently I went to meet two friends for a coffee in town and turned up a week early.
In a recent convo on here with someone they asked about an OP date and I thought they were talking about one of the dating threads on here. I'm due an operation "
This sounds like the sort of thing I do! Though I've not stabbed myself in the nose. Did manage to impair a screw driver into my wrist 4 yrs ago. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Recycled my dramas group hall rental for a quarter, instead of paying it in.
That cost me hard!
Oh bloody hell!! I threw away an envelope with 80 quid in it at Xmas, luckily missed the recycle bin day as it had changed days, so realised and found it.
Very very lucky...mine was £300...I often wonder if anyone ever found it."
Think I'd rather someone found it than it just get shredded. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I read a sentence about 'Late show host David Letterman' THEN shouted out 'Letterman has died'
thank you for that chuckle!
You have made me feel a bit better about spending a whole five minutes just now trying to turn my phone back on until I realised I was pressing the volume up button!! Wrong side completely I've only had the damn thing for a year and a bit!!
Ha Ha is g3orgie flustered "
Clearly in a rush to get back on here. |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"So what have you done lately that was just plain dumb?
A friend came round the other evening, she's really house proud and picky, I'd not got the washing up done and knew she would comment, so I hid the evidence in the oven. Last night we ate out, today I put the oven on to heat up, went off to do over things, and then wondered what the godawful smell was. Melted plastic.
I'd have left the washing up where it was. Any friend of mine who commented wouldn't be a friend for long. My friends come to visit me. Not my house. "
I agree, not a real friend. Real friends accept you and your home the way it is |
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"On the longest day of the year I blurted out in work " are there still 24 hours in the day then or more "
Oh the shame
Was it a hot day? "
I realised as I said it I was a complete div, the Shae because I'm a senior member of staff too, the amount of  looks I got Ha Ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So what have you done lately that was just plain dumb?
A friend came round the other evening, she's really house proud and picky, I'd not got the washing up done and knew she would comment, so I hid the evidence in the oven. Last night we ate out, today I put the oven on to heat up, went off to do over things, and then wondered what the godawful smell was. Melted plastic.
I'd have left the washing up where it was. Any friend of mine who commented wouldn't be a friend for long. My friends come to visit me. Not my house.
I agree, not a real friend. Real friends accept you and your home the way it is "
It's a family aquaintance its easier to put up with than rock the boat, the visits are brief and infrequent so I shut up and put up.x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"On the longest day of the year I blurted out in work " are there still 24 hours in the day then or more "
Oh the shame
Was it a hot day?
I realised as I said it I was a complete div, the Shae because I'm a senior member of staff too, the amount of looks I got Ha Ha "
Didn't try to come back with only joking look at your faces? |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"So what have you done lately that was just plain dumb?
A friend came round the other evening, she's really house proud and picky, I'd not got the washing up done and knew she would comment, so I hid the evidence in the oven. Last night we ate out, today I put the oven on to heat up, went off to do over things, and then wondered what the godawful smell was. Melted plastic.
I'd have left the washing up where it was. Any friend of mine who commented wouldn't be a friend for long. My friends come to visit me. Not my house.
Friend was probably the wrong term to use. Family connected aquaintance. It's easier to tolerate the once every 3-4 month half hour of being looking down on than upset the apple cart. "
Does she just turn up unannounced? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So what have you done lately that was just plain dumb?
A friend came round the other evening, she's really house proud and picky, I'd not got the washing up done and knew she would comment, so I hid the evidence in the oven. Last night we ate out, today I put the oven on to heat up, went off to do over things, and then wondered what the godawful smell was. Melted plastic.
I'd have left the washing up where it was. Any friend of mine who commented wouldn't be a friend for long. My friends come to visit me. Not my house.
Friend was probably the wrong term to use. Family connected aquaintance. It's easier to tolerate the once every 3-4 month half hour of being looking down on than upset the apple cart.
Does she just turn up unannounced? "
Nooooo I couldn't handle that. She's far to organised and busy. I'd had a weeks notice, just been out longer than planned during the day so didn't have time to clear it before she arrived.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Queen of blonde moments here
A classic.,, walking home chatting to a friend, but he could hear i was distracted
What you doing says he ?
Rummaging in my bag.. I cant find my phone
Errr you're ON it |
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"Queen of blonde moments here
A classic.,, walking home chatting to a friend, but he could hear i was distracted
What you doing says he ?
Rummaging in my bag.. I cant find my phone
Errr you're ON it "
Snort |
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"On the longest day of the year I blurted out in work " are there still 24 hours in the day then or more "
Oh the shame
Was it a hot day?
I realised as I said it I was a complete div, the Shae because I'm a senior member of staff too, the amount of looks I got Ha Ha
Didn't try to come back with only joking look at your faces? "
Nope I took that one like a champ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Queen of blonde moments here
A classic.,, walking home chatting to a friend, but he could hear i was distracted
What you doing says he ?
Rummaging in my bag.. I cant find my phone
Errr you're ON it
Snort "
My sister did this. While on the phone to her dad. He told her to hang up and he'd call her. She hung up, answered the call from her dad, and he shouted at her for answering his daughters phone... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"On the longest day of the year I blurted out in work " are there still 24 hours in the day then or more "
Oh the shame
Was it a hot day?
I realised as I said it I was a complete div, the Shae because I'm a senior member of staff too, the amount of looks I got Ha Ha
Didn't try to come back with only joking look at your faces?
Nope I took that one like a champ! "
Think I'd have blushed too hard to bluff out of it. |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"So what have you done lately that was just plain dumb?
A friend came round the other evening, she's really house proud and picky, I'd not got the washing up done and knew she would comment, so I hid the evidence in the oven. Last night we ate out, today I put the oven on to heat up, went off to do over things, and then wondered what the godawful smell was. Melted plastic.
I'd have left the washing up where it was. Any friend of mine who commented wouldn't be a friend for long. My friends come to visit me. Not my house.
Friend was probably the wrong term to use. Family connected aquaintance. It's easier to tolerate the once every 3-4 month half hour of being looking down on than upset the apple cart.
Does she just turn up unannounced?
Nooooo I couldn't handle that. She's far to organised and busy. I'd had a weeks notice, just been out longer than planned during the day so didn't have time to clear it before she arrived.x"
Oh right still think she should accept it and keep her comments to herself but I do know what you mean as I used to worry about stuff but now I just think that if they don't like it, they know where the door is x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So what have you done lately that was just plain dumb?
A friend came round the other evening, she's really house proud and picky, I'd not got the washing up done and knew she would comment, so I hid the evidence in the oven. Last night we ate out, today I put the oven on to heat up, went off to do over things, and then wondered what the godawful smell was. Melted plastic.
I'd have left the washing up where it was. Any friend of mine who commented wouldn't be a friend for long. My friends come to visit me. Not my house.
Friend was probably the wrong term to use. Family connected aquaintance. It's easier to tolerate the once every 3-4 month half hour of being looking down on than upset the apple cart.
Does she just turn up unannounced?
Nooooo I couldn't handle that. She's far to organised and busy. I'd had a weeks notice, just been out longer than planned during the day so didn't have time to clear it before she arrived.x
Oh right still think she should accept it and keep her comments to herself but I do know what you mean as I used to worry about stuff but now I just think that if they don't like it, they know where the door is x"
Anyone one else comes round I just say excuse the mess, but not cares. She was a friend of my nans though, so I tolerated it,nans gone but still can't bring myself to tell her to piss off. |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"So what have you done lately that was just plain dumb?
A friend came round the other evening, she's really house proud and picky, I'd not got the washing up done and knew she would comment, so I hid the evidence in the oven. Last night we ate out, today I put the oven on to heat up, went off to do over things, and then wondered what the godawful smell was. Melted plastic.
I'd have left the washing up where it was. Any friend of mine who commented wouldn't be a friend for long. My friends come to visit me. Not my house.
Friend was probably the wrong term to use. Family connected aquaintance. It's easier to tolerate the once every 3-4 month half hour of being looking down on than upset the apple cart.
Does she just turn up unannounced?
Nooooo I couldn't handle that. She's far to organised and busy. I'd had a weeks notice, just been out longer than planned during the day so didn't have time to clear it before she arrived.x
Oh right still think she should accept it and keep her comments to herself but I do know what you mean as I used to worry about stuff but now I just think that if they don't like it, they know where the door is x
Anyone one else comes round I just say excuse the mess, but not cares. She was a friend of my nans though, so I tolerated it,nans gone but still can't bring myself to tell her to piss off."
Fair enough. I understand that for your nan. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After almost no sleep since last Tuesday just a few hours earlier.
On Sunday I was washing up and I was so tired I just put everything in the bowl to wash and I found out I had washed a control cds dvds soup and a tea towel.
Note to self never wash up with no sleep.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hardknot*
Snake or woodhead pass in an artic in the snow is fun"
Snake pass in snow and ice with pillion on a Honda cbr600 lol was a bit hair raising tbh
M |
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"I had a vibrator decide to turn itself on, on the train and in my bag...interesting minutes trying to subtly find it and turn it off while still in the shaking bag, with a blush! "
I pulled out my ticket for the inspector last week and in my rush pulled out a handful of condoms and mini lube sachets with it, his face was a picture |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love that my friends come into my house and take me as they find me x
Most of mine do.x
Tell the other ones to fuck off x"
As I've explained she was a friend of my nans, so the once every 3-4 month half hour visit I tolerate as I don't feel it would be right to upset her, I was just rather daft forgetting I'd stashed the washing up in the oven |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love that my friends come into my house and take me as they find me x
Most of mine do.x
Tell the other ones to fuck off x
As I've explained she was a friend of my nans, so the once every 3-4 month half hour visit I tolerate as I don't feel it would be right to upset her, I was just rather daft forgetting I'd stashed the washing up in the oven "
I just read it as your friend came round lol a quarterly visit from an old biddy is ok then x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Put a frozen chicken Kiev in the oven to eat after getting home very d*unk. Fell asleep and then woke with a jolt. Thought I'd been asleep for ages and the food was burning. Whipped it out and tucked in. A couple of minutes later my house mates came back and found me on the floor in the kitchen chowing down on a partially frozen kiev, from what I've been told the butter was still frozen inside. That was about 12 years ago, they still call me kiev |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I went travelling a few years ago they bought me a Dynamo Kiev shirt, and at big get togethers they always have a bloody kiev for me... I'm best man at a wedding in a few weeks and I'm sure I'm going to be served one |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I went travelling a few years ago they bought me a Dynamo Kiev shirt, and at big get togethers they always have a bloody kiev for me... I'm best man at a wedding in a few weeks and I'm sure I'm going to be served one "
Hopefully they cock it! |
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Half asleep and very ill, I cooked some chicken, tucked in, and suddenly realised that instead of the paprika I'd thought I'd marinated the chicken with, I'd used lashings of cayenne chilli pepper |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Hopefully they cock it!
Can't think of anything less appealing than a cock in a kiev "
Oh!!! I meat cook it!
Can tell what I'm thinking about today! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Half asleep and very ill, I cooked some chicken, tucked in, and suddenly realised that instead of the paprika I'd thought I'd marinated the chicken with, I'd used lashings of cayenne chilli pepper "
Bet that helped sweat it out! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Running around Urbis in Manchester with an empty Starbucks cup ranting at high volume to my friend about the lack of bins in the area. There were six."
I don't know what the urbis is, but my brain pictured that scene with you naked.  |
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After knocking it with my arm whilst washing up, I attempted to stop the Ikea cutlery drainer falling in the sink by slamming my hand down on top of it. When I took my hand away a fork was now stuck a good half an inch into my palm. It hurt but not as much as knowing I had to pull it out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After knocking it with my arm whilst washing up, I attempted to stop the Ikea cutlery drainer falling in the sink by slamming my hand down on top of it. When I took my hand away a fork was now stuck a good half an inch into my palm. It hurt but not as much as knowing I had to pull it out."
Not supposed to extract anything impailed incase you've punctured a blood vessel. The object may be blocking a bleed.x |
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