FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > social

social

By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

A question for the girls on here when was the last time you had a couple of socials before the naughty fun started .

By that I mean first social a peck on the cheek goodbye second social another peck on the cheek goodbye after a evening drink and meal .

Or is it all a case of one social and on that that social knickers are off because that's the impression I'm often left with when reading verifies.

I'm noticing around 70 percent sex verifies to around 30 percent social ones .

Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that approach I'm a firm believer in doing what ever works for you and makes you happy .

But in my world taking things slowly can be more fun as it builds anticipation mutual respect and that all important chemistry .

Maybe I'm just a tease who loves the social play as much as the physical play but surely I'm not the only one who thinks a few socials are in order to see it the chemistry is real and not just lust due to not having sex for a couple of days .

The kind of fun i enjoy demands this approach really but the truth be told I've never been a let's get it on on the first meet kind of guy even as a much younger man.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where did you come up with the made-up statistics to back up your claim?

Total bollocks!

I have loads of social veris and you cannot always tell from reading whether they are play ones or not.

Or whether they lead to a meet or not.

Or how many I choose to display or not.

Too many variables.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This sounds more like dating to me, but if you're upfront about what you want then I see nothing wrong. Do you ever come a cropper and have ladies fall for you using this approach though?

For me, one social to see if there's an initial attraction suffices and depending on the level of that or the element of availability and logistics then it's knickers off and away we go

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Where did you come up with the made-up statistics to back up your claim?

Total bollocks!

I have loads of social veris and you cannot always tell from reading whether they are play ones or not.

Or whether they lead to a meet or not.

Or how many I choose to display or not.

Too many variables."

Yes there are a lot of variables and I can only go off of the ones I've read .I'm not critiquing number of sex meets or socials would have no bearing on whether I'd chose to message any woman my choice would be based only on compatibility in the bedroom as to whether I'd message any one .

But when reading veries most are of a sexual nature you know things like she sucks dick like a pro in my experience of reading verifies so far these types are about two to every one of the social verify .

Bullshit is a strong word I am only making a observation on what I read in verifies as I've not read yours I have no comment on what's yours are like I was asking a legitimate question not passing judgement or critiquing.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Where did you come up with the made-up statistics to back up your claim?

Total bollocks!

I have loads of social veris and you cannot always tell from reading whether they are play ones or not.

Or whether they lead to a meet or not.

Or how many I choose to display or not.

Too many variables.

You don't know if someone left a social veri before a fun meet veri but it's hidden.

Or if they wrote a social veri and then didn't feel the need to write a second one for the fun meet.

Or they didn't write a social one, preferring to wait until after the fun meet.

I have veris that read as social veris but where sex actually did happen.

I ask people not to write graphic veris because it's nobody's business whom I've shagged.

I also wouldn't display multiple veris from the same person.

I think you're trying to draw conclusions from an unreliable set of data and your theory is likely totally inaccurate and useless.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"This sounds more like dating to me, but if you're upfront about what you want then I see nothing wrong. Do you ever come a cropper and have ladies fall for you using this approach though?

For me, one social to see if there's an initial attraction suffices and depending on the level of that or the element of availability and logistics then it's knickers off and away we go

I'm as ugly as sin so the chances of falling i me in a big way are very very slim

All joking aside caring about someone is not a sin but how you deal with that can be .but in my experience most people are mature enough to be able to deal with the emotions of having a fb or fwb and those who are not normally just stick to one offs and bed hopping

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"This sounds more like dating to me, but if you're upfront about what you want then I see nothing wrong. Do you ever come a cropper and have ladies fall for you using this approach though?

For me, one social to see if there's an initial attraction suffices and depending on the level of that or the element of availability and logistics then it's knickers off and away we go

I'm as ugly as sin so the chances of falling i me in a big way are very very slim

With that approach though, i.e multiple socials, dinner etc., there's a risk they don't realise you're after a FWB.

I think the question was more have women misunderstood your intentions?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

I always have a social first. The majority of meets are in my home so I need to feel comfortable who I let in. I also use it to see how people treat me in a social setting. When people are relaxed with you they sometimes divulge more about themselves than intended, boy have I dodged a bullet more than once.

I think only once has a social led to a play meet after. I always have a plan b. I met on my day off in a restaurant near to where I do my shopping. Afterwards he offered to push the trolley and drive me home and ended up in bed: nice guy.

I've met a couple of people more than once socially as they needed to feel comfortable with me. It's daunting for men too, especially if you're meeting in someone's home where they're going to gag, blindfold, hog tie, use wax etc on you!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm definitely a social first. Even that's after lots of chatting!!

There's probably a few more socials as well!! There's even plenty of contact after!!

This is my preference each to their own, lots of guys say they want to chat, actually their idea of chat is one sentence, so they're not for me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm happy to meet socially first, I never have expectations of what's going to happen, had many were we've just chatted and had a really pleasant evening, but not had that spark to take things further, which is why I think socials are very important, I can't meet a women and just have sex, there has to be a connection of the minds too.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People Do things differently. I'm not sure that it needs analysing and dissecting and random statistics made up though.

None of my verifications are social ones. I've never had a social in nearly 5 years. Does that mean that there's no mutual desire, No sexual chemistry in any of my meets? Nobody could answer that except me and the person I'm meeting so i don't understand the implication that only people who meet socially (several times....yawn) manage to achieve this. That's as much Bollocks as the made up statistics.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

If I like someone I actually prefer to progress to a fun meet directly after the social.

If I leave it and arrange a meet at a later date, it can feel too clinical, somehow. It also means I don't have time to second guess myself, and the other person(s), and talk myself out of it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Where did you come up with the made-up statistics to back up your claim?

Total bollocks!

I have loads of social veris and you cannot always tell from reading whether they are play ones or not.

Or whether they lead to a meet or not.

Or how many I choose to display or not.

Too many variables.

You don't know if someone left a social veri before a fun meet veri but it's hidden.

Or if they wrote a social veri and then didn't feel the need to write a second one for the fun meet.

Or they didn't write a social one, preferring to wait until after the fun meet.

I have veris that read as social veris but where sex actually did happen.

I ask people not to write graphic veris because it's nobody's business whom I've shagged.

I also wouldn't display multiple veris from the same person.

I think you're trying to draw conclusions from an unreliable set of data and your theory is likely totally inaccurate and useless."

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

More than one social seems like dating to me. I wouldn't date anyone off here.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"More than one social seems like dating to me. I wouldn't date anyone off here.

Ooh I would...

Wait, locking them in a cupboard and keeping them as a sex slave counts as dating, right?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"More than one social seems like dating to me. I wouldn't date anyone off here.

Ooh I would...

Wait, locking them in a cupboard and keeping them as a sex slave counts as dating, right?

That's proper romance that is.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I have no interest in social meets, I am wanting to stick my cock in their vagina, not chat about it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This sounds more like dating to me, but if you're upfront about what you want then I see nothing wrong. Do you ever come a cropper and have ladies fall for you using this approach though?

For me, one social to see if there's an initial attraction suffices and depending on the level of that or the element of availability and logistics then it's knickers off and away we go

Exactly this.

On here a social for me is to see whether they are like their pics and I find them attractive. Sometimes the social will lead to somewhere else straight away, not a peck and then goodbye.

As for 70% play meets, when I was on before about 10% of mine were play meets the rest were socials

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've had more than 1 social with the same guy. It just happened to work out that way & I enjoyed the times we spent together.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not here to date.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I love a social. Its to confirm everything i thought about the person and to know the spark is there

If we both like each other then its a green light to the next meet being for play. Im not going to keep having socials so they can just sit pecking me on the cheek

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *lla_maiWoman over a year ago

staffordshire

I have a few people i meet on a regular basis, sometimes we just meet socially other times its for sex. They have become friends, so no matter which situation occurs we have a gpod day/night anyway

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I have a few people i meet on a regular basis, sometimes we just meet socially other times its for sex. They have become friends, so no matter which situation occurs we have a gpod day/night anyway"
yes i do that as well.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"I have a few people i meet on a regular basis, sometimes we just meet socially other times its for sex. They have become friends, so no matter which situation occurs we have a gpod day/night anyway"

Exactly I've spoken to playmates before about a date and been told love to but its the wrong time of the month at that point I could just say that's a pity .

But I don't for one simple reason that would be a statement of basically saying I have no time or use for you past using you for sex .

Now if I ever felt used I'd not play .

so with that in mind I would choose to offer a night out to catch up over a drink and meal because that's how for me you show your appreciation towards your play mate past just what you do in the bedroom to them and with them .

To me you treat a play partner like you would any woman in your life just because sex is involved to me doesn't mean the rules change .

I look on it like this I would associate with a running partner or a fishing partner past the past time we enjoy together .so a sex partner should be treated no different in my book.

in fact they should be treated better because of the emotions certain types of sexual play can unleash .

But hay each to there own I am never going to play with someone who does not like thee way I play nor is someone going to play with me who doesn't like or find the way I play suits them .

As trust is a important part of how I play more than one or two socials are normal and all part of building up the trust .now if I can't hold my libido in check on the first date how can I expect anyone to trust the fact I could hold it in check when their at their most vulnerable.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Never

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A couple of socials or a couple of hours?

Never

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a few people i meet on a regular basis, sometimes we just meet socially other times its for sex. They have become friends, so no matter which situation occurs we have a gpod day/night anyway

Exactly I've spoken to playmates before about a date and been told love to but its the wrong time of the month at that point I could just say that's a pity .

But I don't for one simple reason that would be a statement of basically saying I have no time or use for you past using you for sex .

Now if I ever felt used I'd not play .

To me you treat a play partner like you would any woman in your life just because sex is involved to me doesn't mean the rules change .

I look on it like this I would associate with a running partner or a fishing partner past the past time we enjoy together .so a sex partner should be treated no different in my book.

in fact they should be treated better because of the emotions certain types of sexual play can unleash .

But hay each to there own I am never going to play with someone who does not like thee way I play nor is someone going to play with me who doesn't like or find the way I play suits them .

All really good points. Sounds more toward friends with benefits.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We meet in public first to make sure that there is a mutual attraction. We do not expect or want a peck on the cheek and another social meeting. If all is well, we go back for sex.

But everyone is welcome to use this site for whatever suits them.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a few people i meet on a regular basis, sometimes we just meet socially other times its for sex. They have become friends, so no matter which situation occurs we have a gpod day/night anyway

Exactly I've spoken to playmates before about a date and been told love to but its the wrong time of the month at that point I could just say that's a pity .

But I don't for one simple reason that would be a statement of basically saying I have no time or use for you past using you for sex .

Now if I ever felt used I'd not play .

To me you treat a play partner like you would any woman in your life just because sex is involved to me doesn't mean the rules change .

I look on it like this I would associate with a running partner or a fishing partner past the past time we enjoy together .so a sex partner should be treated no different in my book.

in fact they should be treated better because of the emotions certain types of sexual play can unleash .

But hay each to there own I am never going to play with someone who does not like thee way I play nor is someone going to play with me who doesn't like or find the way I play suits them .

You're putting your perspective across which is fine .

But it's a swinging site .

And although swinging is different for everyone , your _iew is never going to be universally accepted . To be honest it isn't a _iew which has much to do with swinging at all , especially when you say a running partner or a fishing companion are the same thing . This seems like someone who is looking for friends or dating rather than NSA sex .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have a few people i meet on a regular basis, sometimes we just meet socially other times its for sex. They have become friends, so no matter which situation occurs we have a gpod day/night anyway

Exactly I've spoken to playmates before about a date and been told love to but its the wrong time of the month at that point I could just say that's a pity .

But I don't for one simple reason that would be a statement of basically saying I have no time or use for you past using you for sex .

Now if I ever felt used I'd not play .

To me you treat a play partner like you would any woman in your life just because sex is involved to me doesn't mean the rules change .

I look on it like this I would associate with a running partner or a fishing partner past the past time we enjoy together .so a sex partner should be treated no different in my book.

in fact they should be treated better because of the emotions certain types of sexual play can unleash .

But hay each to there own I am never going to play with someone who does not like thee way I play nor is someone going to play with me who doesn't like or find the way I play suits them .

You're putting your perspective across which is fine .

But it's a swinging site .

I don't think there is such a thing as a universally accepted _iew on here.

It may have swingers in the title but it also comes up if you type sex site into Google,same as some other dating sites do.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

It says on ma profile that I prefer a social first, but if things go a little further then I'm game for that as well

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

One social is enough for me to know whether I want to have sex with someone or not. Very rarely on that day so usually if we both feel the same arrangements are made to meet up pretty soon after.

OP your scenario sounds like a dating thing but if that's how you do it, it's all good

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andsonjohn OP Man over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"This sounds more like dating to me, but if you're upfront about what you want then I see nothing wrong. Do you ever come a cropper and have ladies fall for you using this approach though?

For me, one social to see if there's an initial attraction suffices and depending on the level of that or the element of availability and logistics then it's knickers off and away we go

I'm as ugly as sin so the chances of falling i me in a big way are very very slim

With that approach though, i.e multiple socials, dinner etc., there's a risk they don't realise you're after a FWB.

I think the question was more have women misunderstood your intentions?"

No woman has ever miss read my intention .I'm articulate and well able to express what I'm looking for and offering as well as stating what I expect in return .

The socials are full of chat about what we each like and dislike when it comes to the dynamic we are thinking about entering into with one another .

No one I've ever met has been left wondering what my intentions towards then were or how I like to play so I can fully embrace the dynamic and make it as great as possible for them and for me.

The socials are about expressing what both parties are looking for and hoping to get from the arrangement .

I'd never play with some looking for more than I could deliver nor would I expect anyone to play with me who was looking for more than I could deliver.