FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Advice needed!!
Advice needed!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Before you start I am aware that I am her as a single.
I need a bit of advice. I have been trying to get my wife into swinging for a long time but she has not been up for it.
But she has been talking to a local shop guy who I think she has the hots for. But she will never take it to the next level. How can I get the guy interested to make the move without causing to much of a issue. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you..."
She wants it but is to shy and really bad in picking up signals. |
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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago
North Herts |
"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you..."
This!!
You're playing a dangerous game trying to "persuade" your wife to enter into this world, whichever way you go about it - entering into it without BOTHof you being in full agreement and able to set boundaries that you're BOTH comfortable with is just a recipe for disaster IMHO.
The ONLY way is to talk to her openly and honestly about it, explaining why you're interested, and more importantly why you think she might be too, and if she still says it's not for her, then honestly, you have to respect and accept her views.
Mr G |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hinted at my wife for ages..then one day she had a kiss with a female and hated it..it was another 8 yrs before she would try again.now we are having the time of our lives.we love our new lifestyle..just dont rush or push her.she knows what you want just wait untill she is ready. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you...
She wants it but is to shy and really bad in picking up signals. "
How do you know she wants it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you...
This!!
You're playing a dangerous game trying to "persuade" your wife to enter into this world, whichever way you go about it - entering into it without BOTHof you being in full agreement and able to set boundaries that you're BOTH comfortable with is just a recipe for disaster IMHO.
The ONLY way is to talk to her openly and honestly about it, explaining why you're interested, and more importantly why you think she might be too, and if she still says it's not for her, then honestly, you have to respect and accept her views.
Mr G"
Oh maybe I was not clear sorry. She has a regular fuck buddy. But I new her fuck buddy so made it easy before her, but I only met this shop guy once so how do I get them going. Like I said she will not make the move she is to shy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you...
She wants it but is to shy and really bad in picking up signals.
How do you know she wants it?"
Her face glows up and gets very flirty going to his shop. |
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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago
North Herts |
"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you...
This!!
You're playing a dangerous game trying to "persuade" your wife to enter into this world, whichever way you go about it - entering into it without BOTHof you being in full agreement and able to set boundaries that you're BOTH comfortable with is just a recipe for disaster IMHO.
The ONLY way is to talk to her openly and honestly about it, explaining why you're interested, and more importantly why you think she might be too, and if she still says it's not for her, then honestly, you have to respect and accept her views.
Mr G
Oh maybe I was not clear sorry. She has a regular fuck buddy. But I new her fuck buddy so made it easy before her, but I only met this shop guy once so how do I get them going. Like I said she will not make the move she is to shy. "
Not clear is about right!! In your opening post you clearly said "I have been trying to get my wife into swinging for a long time" but now it turns out she has a FB.
Strange lack of clarity between the two things, either way perhaps she's happy with the one she has, and just doesn't want another. End of the day it comes down to the same thing though, if she doesn't want to pursue this, then surely her choice has to be respected and accepted.
Mr G |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you...
This!!
You're playing a dangerous game trying to "persuade" your wife to enter into this world, whichever way you go about it - entering into it without BOTHof you being in full agreement and able to set boundaries that you're BOTH comfortable with is just a recipe for disaster IMHO.
The ONLY way is to talk to her openly and honestly about it, explaining why you're interested, and more importantly why you think she might be too, and if she still says it's not for her, then honestly, you have to respect and accept her views.
Mr G
Oh maybe I was not clear sorry. She has a regular fuck buddy. But I new her fuck buddy so made it easy before her, but I only met this shop guy once so how do I get them going. Like I said she will not make the move she is to shy.
Not clear is about right!! In your opening post you clearly said "I have been trying to get my wife into swinging for a long time" but now it turns out she has a FB.
Strange lack of clarity between the two things, either way perhaps she's happy with the one she has, and just doesn't want another. End of the day it comes down to the same thing though, if she doesn't want to pursue this, then surely her choice has to be respected and accepted.
Mr G"
Omg - her regular fuck buddy she met not on her. Ok that is clear.
2nd - I am 102% sure she wants the shop guy.
Help- how do I get him to make the first move as she is to shy to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you...
This!!
You're playing a dangerous game trying to "persuade" your wife to enter into this world, whichever way you go about it - entering into it without BOTHof you being in full agreement and able to set boundaries that you're BOTH comfortable with is just a recipe for disaster IMHO.
The ONLY way is to talk to her openly and honestly about it, explaining why you're interested, and more importantly why you think she might be too, and if she still says it's not for her, then honestly, you have to respect and accept her views.
Mr G
Oh maybe I was not clear sorry. She has a regular fuck buddy. But I new her fuck buddy so made it easy before her, but I only met this shop guy once so how do I get them going. Like I said she will not make the move she is to shy.
Not clear is about right!! In your opening post you clearly said "I have been trying to get my wife into swinging for a long time" but now it turns out she has a FB.
Strange lack of clarity between the two things, either way perhaps she's happy with the one she has, and just doesn't want another. End of the day it comes down to the same thing though, if she doesn't want to pursue this, then surely her choice has to be respected and accepted.
Mr G
Omg - her regular fuck buddy she met not on her. Ok that is clear.
2nd - I am 102% sure she wants the shop guy.
Help- how do I get him to make the first move as she is to shy to."
Show her this thread & talk to her. You know her better than we do. |
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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago
North Herts |
"
Omg - her regular fuck buddy she met not on her. Ok that is clear.
2nd - I am 102% sure she wants the shop guy.
Help- how do I get him to make the first move as she is to shy to.
Show her this thread & talk to her. You know her better than we do."
And once again the young lady says so much better in one sentence what it took me three paragraphs to say!!
Mr G |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need help to get the guy to make the first move !!"
Which could put your wife in a situation that might make her feel unsafe unless you talk to her first! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/stories/513555
Actually OP, your comment on this thread tells a lot about your attitude towards your wife.
I'll stop trying to talk sense into you now  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/stories/513555
Actually OP, your comment on this thread tells a lot about your attitude towards your wife.
I'll stop trying to talk sense into you now "
Ok thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before you start I am aware that I am her as a single.
I need a bit of advice. I have been trying to get my wife into swinging for a long time but she has not been up for it.
But she has been talking to a local shop guy who I think she has the hots for. But she will never take it to the next level. How can I get the guy interested to make the move without causing to much of a issue. "
Oh ffs yet another married man with delusions of getting the wife in on his adultery by trying to get someone else to carry the can!!
Give it up, tell the wife you are on here and see how that goes ...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Playing with fire m8,only bit of advice I can give .
Thanks that is more like it. Someone giving advice as asked.
Is "talk to your wife" not advice?  "
Did I say it's NOT |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Playing with fire m8,only bit of advice I can give .
Thanks that is more like it. Someone giving advice as asked.
Is "talk to your wife" not advice?
Did I say it's NOT "
You didn't but you clearly won't take it. I feel sorry for your wife in all honesty.  |
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By *woOfaKindCouple
over a year ago
Lancaster area |
Let me see if I understand what you are saying: Are you wishing that your wife would get into Swinging so you two could play as a couple? Or do you just like the idea of her being with lots of men?
JD |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Let me see if I understand what you are saying: Are you wishing that your wife would get into Swinging so you two could play as a couple? Or do you just like the idea of her being with lots of men?
JD"
Both |
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If she's going to do it then it has to be her way and at her speed.
She may be about to make mistakes but you can't foresee that she will swing or make mistakes. And mistakes often are our best learning opportunities, so don't always need to be avoided. Pushing the shop guy could be the wrong thing - let her direct things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Playing with fire m8,only bit of advice I can give .
Thanks that is more like it. Someone giving advice as asked.
Is "talk to your wife" not advice?
Did I say it's NOT
You didn't but you clearly won't take it. I feel sorry for your wife in all honesty. "
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"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you..."
If both parties are fully aware of the situation, then I can't see how this can be construed as cheating? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you...
If both parties are fully aware of the situation, then I can't see how this can be construed as cheating?"
By that I meant, if I was with a man who was trying to persuade me into doing stuff I might not really be up for, I'd be looking else where for someone better. |
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"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you...
If both parties are fully aware of the situation, then I can't see how this can be construed as cheating?
By that I meant, if I was with a man who was trying to persuade me into doing stuff I might not really be up for, I'd be looking else where for someone better."
What you describe there is attempted manipulation though surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probability is the guy in the shop is not a swinger, and not into nsa sex. so he may fall for your wife, treat her better than you do, so she enjoys the affair more than the marriage, then you will be single and free to enjoy swinging with a clear concience.
don't make the mistake of thinking this is real normality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you...
If both parties are fully aware of the situation, then I can't see how this can be construed as cheating?
By that I meant, if I was with a man who was trying to persuade me into doing stuff I might not really be up for, I'd be looking else where for someone better.
What you describe there is attempted manipulation though surely?"
What do you mean? |
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"If she's not interested in it I'd say don't push the issue. If she's interested I can imagine she'd tell you.
Or cheat on you...
If both parties are fully aware of the situation, then I can't see how this can be construed as cheating?
By that I meant, if I was with a man who was trying to persuade me into doing stuff I might not really be up for, I'd be looking else where for someone better.
What you describe there is attempted manipulation though surely?
What do you mean?"
If someone tries to persuade you into doing something that you are not comfortable with, then I would class that as manipulation, but then again I could be wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Playing with fire m8,only bit of advice I can give .
Thanks that is more like it. Someone giving advice as asked. "
I think you are being very manipulative and pervy, trying to push your wife and the shop man into sex for your own gratification ect. You start a thread, you moan about the comments.
Never mind your wife, what about a bit of respect for the shop worker you are treating like a bit of meat.
If you are swinging then have a bit of respect for people in the world of " non swinging" It's not fair on the shop worker who would not know he risks catching something by fking a female who has a fb, who we can probably assume it's other lady's and is married to you a selfish swinger who fks other lady's.
Leave the shop guy alone, stop manipulating your wife and go and play with your cock.
Maybe think before you post silly questions XXX |
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