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Random ponderings: Narcissism..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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.. an attractive trait exuding an assuring aura of self confidence & assurance or an arrogant display of egotistical self indulgence? Or is it something else altogether?
We're all on a sex site 'putting it out there' for others to see - are we all narcissists in our own way? |
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Humans are social animals and so will seek connections with others. We're largely being humans, with some more self-indulgent than others.
Extremes of unhealthy behaviour is a different subject really |
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"Humans are social animals and so will seek connections with others. We're largely being humans, with some more self-indulgent than others.
Extremes of unhealthy behaviour is a different subject really "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would love to know what inspired this musing  "
Was having a ponder about a lot of these people on social media that seem very full of themselves - you know, as a random example, these Facebook / YouTube types that have their own channels 'all about them' - then thought that perhaps we're all doing that on here in our own ways  - or are we!? |
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"New Scientist mag had an article on this last week. But as it costs £3.95 a week I didn't buy it."
LOL
Go to the library along with all the other white, middle class older men who're too tight to buy magazines |
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".. an attractive trait exuding an assuring aura of self confidence & assurance or an arrogant display of egotistical self indulgence? Or is it something else altogether?
We're all on a sex site 'putting it out there' for others to see - are we all narcissists in our own way? "
Google - Dark Triad test.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always thought it to be leaning towards a negative trait than a postive.
Yes we're all promoting ourselves (to a certain degree) on a sex site but how we go about that as individuals speaks volumes, imo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would love to know what inspired this musing
Was having a ponder about a lot of these people on social media that seem very full of themselves - you know, as a random example, these Facebook / YouTube types that have their own channels 'all about them' - then thought that perhaps we're all doing that on here in our own ways - or are we!? "
Thanks for explaining.
To answer your question, I've always thought of narcissism as a negative trait. It is defined as being excessive. It's origins in Greek mythology....Ovid I believe...would insinuate that it's excessive nature would be undesireable. The Greeks tended to dislike extremes - think in terms of Aristotelian virtue ethics and the golden mean. So, at least looking towards its origins, I've always read narcissism as having a negative subtext.
Having said that, there does seem to be a new movement to take pride in narcissism, in a way. I'm personally not a fan. I'm all for believing in yourself and having pride in yourself, but doing so excessively is a bit cringe-worthy to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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".. an attractive trait exuding an assuring aura of self confidence & assurance or an arrogant display of egotistical self indulgence? Or is it something else altogether?
We're all on a sex site 'putting it out there' for others to see - are we all narcissists in our own way?
Google - Dark Triad test.
"
I did it |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I would love to know what inspired this musing
Was having a ponder about a lot of these people on social media that seem very full of themselves - you know, as a random example, these Facebook / YouTube types that have their own channels 'all about them' - then thought that perhaps we're all doing that on here in our own ways - or are we!?
Thanks for explaining.
To answer your question, I've always thought of narcissism as a negative trait. It is defined as being excessive. It's origins in Greek mythology....Ovid I believe...would insinuate that it's excessive nature would be undesireable. The Greeks tended to dislike extremes - think in terms of Aristotelian virtue ethics and the golden mean. So, at least looking towards its origins, I've always read narcissism as having a negative subtext.
Having said that, there does seem to be a new movement to take pride in narcissism, in a way. I'm personally not a fan. I'm all for believing in yourself and having pride in yourself, but doing so excessively is a bit cringe-worthy to me. "
I think a small element of narcissistic behaviour is in all of us (occasionally wanting to be the centre of attention, blaming others, turning on the charm etc.) but when you add personality disorder on the end then it's gone too far.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would love to know what inspired this musing
Was having a ponder about a lot of these people on social media that seem very full of themselves - you know, as a random example, these Facebook / YouTube types that have their own channels 'all about them' - then thought that perhaps we're all doing that on here in our own ways - or are we!?
Thanks for explaining.
To answer your question, I've always thought of narcissism as a negative trait. It is defined as being excessive. It's origins in Greek mythology....Ovid I believe...would insinuate that it's excessive nature would be undesireable. The Greeks tended to dislike extremes - think in terms of Aristotelian virtue ethics and the golden mean. So, at least looking towards its origins, I've always read narcissism as having a negative subtext.
Having said that, there does seem to be a new movement to take pride in narcissism, in a way. I'm personally not a fan. I'm all for believing in yourself and having pride in yourself, but doing so excessively is a bit cringe-worthy to me. "
I'm with you on that last sentence - it's good to have self belief and pride. But too much can be nauseating to others
It's all about striking the right balance - and that's the tricky bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".. an attractive trait exuding an assuring aura of self confidence & assurance or an arrogant display of egotistical self indulgence? Or is it something else altogether?
We're all on a sex site 'putting it out there' for others to see - are we all narcissists in our own way?
Google - Dark Triad test.
I did it"
I've just done it too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Narcissism implies being too wrapped up in self-love/self-concern to give a fuck about anyone or anything else, rather than just "putting it out there" : )
So I'd say while it's maybe true for some, it's over-generalising to say all, even in our own way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bloody hell Dan this is a bit deep for a Saturday night!? I mean I usually like it deep, but not like this......!!   
 ha, I know - sorry! No idea where it came from really .. too much browsing of social media I think
Social media?!?!?! I didn't realise you were into that kinda kinky shit!  "
Ssshhh .. It's late night, not many will have noticed |
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"Narcissism implies being too wrapped up in self-love/self-concern to give a fuck about anyone or anything else, rather than just "putting it out there" : )
So I'd say while it's maybe true for some, it's over-generalising to say all, even in our own way.
So I'd say"
I'd agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would love to know what inspired this musing
Was having a ponder about a lot of these people on social media that seem very full of themselves - you know, as a random example, these Facebook / YouTube types that have their own channels 'all about them' - then thought that perhaps we're all doing that on here in our own ways - or are we!?
Thanks for explaining.
To answer your question, I've always thought of narcissism as a negative trait. It is defined as being excessive. It's origins in Greek mythology....Ovid I believe...would insinuate that it's excessive nature would be undesireable. The Greeks tended to dislike extremes - think in terms of Aristotelian virtue ethics and the golden mean. So, at least looking towards its origins, I've always read narcissism as having a negative subtext.
Having said that, there does seem to be a new movement to take pride in narcissism, in a way. I'm personally not a fan. I'm all for believing in yourself and having pride in yourself, but doing so excessively is a bit cringe-worthy to me.
I think a small element of narcissistic behaviour is in all of us (occasionally wanting to be the centre of attention, blaming others, turning on the charm etc.) but when you add personality disorder on the end then it's gone too far.
"
But was my first point, if you only have a "small element of narcissism" then it isn't narcissism, it's just an ego. It has to be excessive to be narcissistic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Google - Dark Triad test.
I did it
I've just done it too
It won't work for me  "
Did you try the BBC one?
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That was fun, apparently I am "infrequently vile"
"
I had a disappointly low narcissism score and scored 'highest' (in terms of percentile points above the rest of the population) in Machiavellianism (tendency to be manipulative and deceitful) |
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"Google - Dark Triad test.
I did it
I've just done it too
It won't work for me
Did you try the BBC one?
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality"
I got it to work in a different browser but I'll try that one too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Google - Dark Triad test.
I did it
I've just done it too
It won't work for me
Did you try the BBC one?
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20151123-how-dark-is-your-personality
I got it to work in a different browser but I'll try that one too "
Looks like the same questions in a different order? |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
its a concept. a man made one..buy into self reflection or not..buy into whatever reality you like, host, what makes you happy, life is far too short to be anything but true to whatever nature you want to experience..other people aren't your business and neither is what they think about you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That was fun, apparently I am "infrequently vile"
I had a disappointly low narcissism score and scored 'highest' (in terms of percentile points above the rest of the population) in Machiavellianism (tendency to be manipulative and deceitful) "
How do we know that you aren't trying to manipulate us with this post? :/ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That was fun, apparently I am "infrequently vile"
I had a disappointly low narcissism score and scored 'highest' (in terms of percentile points above the rest of the population) in Machiavellianism (tendency to be manipulative and deceitful)
How do we know that you aren't trying to manipulate us with this post? :/"
ah-ha! Exactly .. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"Bloody hell Dan this is a bit deep for a Saturday night!? I mean I usually like it deep, but not like this......!!
ha, I know - sorry! No idea where it came from really .. too much browsing of social media I think
Social media?!?!?! I didn't realise you were into that kinda kinky shit!
Ssshhh .. It's late night, not many will have noticed "
Let's just stick with the other kinda deep in future.... |
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"New Scientist mag had an article on this last week. But as it costs £3.95 a week I didn't buy it.
LOL
Go to the library along with all the other white, middle class older men who're too tight to buy magazines "
I do but either they can't find it, some fuckers nicked it, or the photocopiers down. |
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By *landSueCouple
over a year ago
Rochester |
Good point. I hadn't thought of it that way before. Is this good or bad I wonder.
".. an attractive trait exuding an assuring aura of self confidence & assurance or an arrogant display of egotistical self indulgence? Or is it something else altogether?
We're all on a sex site 'putting it out there' for others to see - are we all narcissists in our own way? "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Narcissism implies being too wrapped up in self-love/self-concern to give a fuck about anyone or anything else, rather than just "putting it out there" : )
So I'd say while it's maybe true for some, it's over-generalising to say all, even in our own way."
Pretty much nail on head. I know a few.
Most cuts their noses off to spite their face at anybody's expense as its all about them. |
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"its a concept. a man made one..buy into self reflection or not..buy into whatever reality you like, host, what makes you happy, life is far too short to be anything but true to whatever nature you want to experience..other people aren't your business and neither is what they think about you xx"
...unless you are a passive aggressive narcissist who revels in being a martyr and uses all that on her children. My mother is a hoot! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Infrequently vile:
You are infrequently vile – you mostly put others before yourself, though you may find occasions in which your dark side shines.
 "
Infrequently Vile here too!
All 3 levels where the same.
Interesting.... |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"its a concept. a man made one..buy into self reflection or not..buy into whatever reality you like, host, what makes you happy, life is far too short to be anything but true to whatever nature you want to experience..other people aren't your business and neither is what they think about you xx
...unless you are a passive aggressive narcissist who revels in being a martyr and uses all that on her children. My mother is a hoot! "
she was a loving example of what not to choose to be then, wasnt she? xxx |
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"its a concept. a man made one..buy into self reflection or not..buy into whatever reality you like, host, what makes you happy, life is far too short to be anything but true to whatever nature you want to experience..other people aren't your business and neither is what they think about you xx
...unless you are a passive aggressive narcissist who revels in being a martyr and uses all that on her children. My mother is a hoot! she was a loving example of what not to choose to be then, wasnt she? xxx"
She still is. Alive and kicking at 95, the bitterness keeps her alive.
I left that bit of my life many years ago and I now work on 'know better, do better' motto. It seems to be working |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"its a concept. a man made one..buy into self reflection or not..buy into whatever reality you like, host, what makes you happy, life is far too short to be anything but true to whatever nature you want to experience..other people aren't your business and neither is what they think about you xx
...unless you are a passive aggressive narcissist who revels in being a martyr and uses all that on her children. My mother is a hoot! she was a loving example of what not to choose to be then, wasnt she? xxx
She still is. Alive and kicking at 95, the bitterness keeps her alive.
I left that bit of my life many years ago and I now work on 'know better, do better' motto. It seems to be working "
yes i thank mine continually for hosting all the traits i wouldnt wish to be myself...great reminder xxx |
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"its a concept. a man made one..buy into self reflection or not..buy into whatever reality you like, host, what makes you happy, life is far too short to be anything but true to whatever nature you want to experience..other people aren't your business and neither is what they think about you xx
...unless you are a passive aggressive narcissist who revels in being a martyr and uses all that on her children. My mother is a hoot! she was a loving example of what not to choose to be then, wasnt she? xxx
She still is. Alive and kicking at 95, the bitterness keeps her alive.
I left that bit of my life many years ago and I now work on 'know better, do better' motto. It seems to be working yes i thank mine continually for hosting all the traits i wouldnt wish to be myself...great reminder xxx "
I think I have a 'normal' level of narcissism but it still worries me when I notice it. Is that the same for you? |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"its a concept. a man made one..buy into self reflection or not..buy into whatever reality you like, host, what makes you happy, life is far too short to be anything but true to whatever nature you want to experience..other people aren't your business and neither is what they think about you xx
...unless you are a passive aggressive narcissist who revels in being a martyr and uses all that on her children. My mother is a hoot! she was a loving example of what not to choose to be then, wasnt she? xxx
She still is. Alive and kicking at 95, the bitterness keeps her alive.
I left that bit of my life many years ago and I now work on 'know better, do better' motto. It seems to be working yes i thank mine continually for hosting all the traits i wouldnt wish to be myself...great reminder xxx
I think I have a 'normal' level of narcissism but it still worries me when I notice it. Is that the same for you?"
no, wouldnt know who the 'i' in me is, let alone classify it... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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social media seems to have brought this trait out in lots of people with its look at me n i love me who do you love selfie culture and i think we all have it to a degree at times
Its not the nicest of traits n i read recently that most serial killers score really highly on test so food for thought
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have come to terms with the fact that I have a higher than usual narcissism level. I don't think I do any harm to anyone else by being so. Just I tend to know when to put myself first and also know when I deserve a high five. I don't need any compliments from anyone although I accept them graciously. I know when I'm looking good and I know when I'm not.
As the wonderful Miles Hunt sings 'I'm in love with myself and nobody else' |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"You should love yourselves more what is a 'self'?
maybe you could investigate."
i spent the first 35 years doing techniques, to annihilate the 'self'.. happy with whatever is left, thanks xx |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"You should love yourselves more what is a 'self'?
maybe you could investigate.i spent the first 35 years doing techniques, to annihilate the 'self'.. happy with whatever is left, thanks xx"
Self is often just a mental construct of non reality |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"You should love yourselves more what is a 'self'?
maybe you could investigate.i spent the first 35 years doing techniques, to annihilate the 'self'.. happy with whatever is left, thanks xx
Self is often just a mental construct of non reality "
the mind tells the illusion self, it cant exist with out it..its true, it cant xx |
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"New Scientist mag had an article on this last week. But as it costs £3.95 a week I didn't buy it.
LOL
Go to the library along with all the other white, middle class older men who're too tight to buy magazines "
Only white men go to libraries? Or only white men/people are tight? And…only MEN read the New Scientist!?!
I'm so confused by the many different permeations of your controversial statement that I almost forgot to say that the last place you'd find a narcissist is in a library!!! There's not enough of an audience for them
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"You should love yourselves more what is a 'self'?
maybe you could investigate.i spent the first 35 years doing techniques, to annihilate the 'self'.. happy with whatever is left, thanks xx
Self is often just a mental construct of non reality the mind tells the illusion self, it cant exist with out it..its true, it cant xxYou spent 35 years trying to annihilate an illusion ? reality is perception, nothing else...to be fluid in perception and there for to be able to create limitlessly in form, you haveto be able to know and then unknown, everything..then you can host and not 'be' anything...
By the time "reality" becomes conscious in the brain it is already a memory of limited awareness that has been filtered through beliefs, values and past memories. "
I have managed to achieve almost constant fluid perception…the only problem is that it takes so much processing time to have a simple conversation that people think I'm deaf |
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Full blown narcissism, or Malignant Self Love as Sam Vaknin so aptly terms it, is the very antithesis of healthy, and completely essential self-love of the kind that produces self-respect, self-care, etc, etc.
True NPD is based in self-loathing to the extent that an entirely false persona has been constructed, and must be constantly maintained by admiration from others, who become little more than objects of 'source' to perpetuate the delusion.
The diagnostic criteria are generally listed as a majority of the following traits:
Needing constant admiration
Inability to empathise which leads to being....
Manipulative and exploitative of others
Fantacising about success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.
Claims of being unique and superior
Sense of entitlement to special treatment therefore
Jealous of others and believing others are jealous of them
Grandiose, pompous and arrogant behaviour
.
By the time someone has full blown NPD they are pretty delusional in my opinion. |
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