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Gossip and rumours

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I guess by now everyones seen the joke about the paperboy that's doing the rounds

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By *iss AdventureWoman over a year ago

Wonderland

No .... is it good?

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

Yeah - never trust an atom - they make up *everything*

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I was never going to get a brain transplant but I soon changed my mind

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

I hate Russian dolls - they're so full of themselves

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can't get away with land fill sites...Total Rubbish

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've just bought a book about superglue , I can't put it down.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"No .... is it good?"

It comes around periodically

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

We asked 100 women what shampoo they prefer in the shower.

99% said "what the hell are you doing in my shower".

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By *ellowbabesCouple over a year ago

newport/cwmbran

"We asked 100 women what shampoo they prefer in the shower.

99% said "what the hell are you doing in my shower"."

Do you have contact details of the 1%?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage…. The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

They've got a great deal on three muskateers outfits at the local fancy dress shop .

It was an all for one offer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

Don't be a drag, just a queen

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

These are good, though I know nothing that I could contribute

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I ate a big red candle!

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Don't be a drag, just a queen

Me and the missus have been trying for a baby for ages now. I'm beginning to think she may be impregnable, or is that just inconceivable ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They say obesity is the new smoking but I’ll bet they have a hard time banning it from restaurants.

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

I need a wank, it cums naturally

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should always borrow money from a pessimist, they'll never expect it back

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I've always wanted to learn how to juggle, I just don't have the balls to do it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was talking to the bin man the other morning about work and I asked him if they have to do any training

He said no we just get told to pick it up as we go along.

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

"Don't be a drag, just a queen

Me and the missus have been trying for a baby for ages now. I'm beginning to think she may be impregnable, or is that just inconceivable ?

"
get a lodger

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Phoned the ramblers club - and this bloke just went on and on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

For someone who is so desparately ill, Colgate, you do talk a load of rubbish! Xx

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton

Thanks guys needed this lol

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

If candy crush says your friends need to get a life, what is it saying about you!

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By *eliz NelsonMan over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

I was thrown out of the local library yesterday....

I asked if they had any books on shelving

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I just read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they had mentioned that you're supposed to eat them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can see exactly 4 years into the future,

I've got 2020 vision.

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By *artytwoCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

9 out of ten people enjoy gang rape

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

Polonius was a pain in the arras.

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I got a Disney character lodged up my bum. When I went to the hospital, I had the Mickey taken out of me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been trying to give up sexual innuendos all day. But it's really hard.

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By *trawberry-popWoman over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The doctor's just told me the reason I keep running out of work screaming, exactly 2 minutes before the fire alarm goes off....

It's Premature Evacuation

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By *dsindyTV/TS over a year ago

East Lancashire

Was going to do one about my pencil, but its pointless now

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By *rozacMan over a year ago

london

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it

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By *dam_TinaCouple over a year ago

Hampshire

How do you get a fat girl into bed ?

Piece of cake.

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

My wife wanted her mothers cremation filming as a last memory for her to look at now and again.

You would be surprised how many of my mates want to watch 'My wife's hot mum'.

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS over a year ago

Epsom

This needs to be a Monday morning regular!

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I do what I can

I can't do much more anyway

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her tits when she said, "Would you please press 1?"

So I did.

I don't remember much afterwards...

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

My driving instructor told me to pull over somewhere safe.

Ten minutes later he said, "Why haven't you pulled over yet?"

I said, "Because we're still in Liverpool."

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By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I think I've been watching too much porn on my computer.

I tried to log on last night and I got a message saying, 'Not tonight, I've got a headache.'

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By *odareyouMan over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

a true friend will bail you out of jail .... a best friend will be sitting in the cell with you giggling

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