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Awkwardness
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
When you walk into your friends house through the open door having heard strange noises only to find his 17 year old daughter being scuttled in their hot tub by some guy.
Then the scream of recognition, the desperate grasp for their towels and the pleas of don't tell my mum or dad please!!!
Who thought a godparents job was so stressful.
The good news, the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected and showed some backbone. Also, turns out they have been together six months.
The bad news, I have not told her parents. Quite a quandary. |
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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago
North Herts |
I don't see why you should tell her parents ... they're in a relationship, albeit they're young. Surely most of us took advantage of an empty house when we were that age and our parents were out?
Ms G |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guy sounds decent, he stuck about and faced the music. If I was a young lad with a 17 year old girlfriend who happened to have an empty house and a hot tub then I'd have a word with myself for not doing the same.
What was your reason for going in if they weren't there? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I assume they'd already know she was 'being scuttled' since they've been together 6months and are over 16. I'd have some suspicion if my daughter was that age with a bf that she'd be getting some(hopefully not more than me) remind them babies are a huge responsibility and to be safe regardless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you walk into your friends house through the open door having heard strange noises only to find his 17 year old daughter being scuttled in their hot tub by some guy.
Then the scream of recognition, the desperate grasp for their towels and the pleas of don't tell my mum or dad please!!!
Who thought a godparents job was so stressful.
The good news, the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected and showed some backbone. Also, turns out they have been together six months.
The bad news, I have not told her parents. Quite a quandary. "
I'm really not seeing the issue. She's above the age of consent and having consensual sex with her boyfriend?
Nor am i seeing why you assumed that the guy might be pond life and scuttle off. Do your friends know you have such a low opinion of their daughter? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've been together since 16, so an empty house at 17 was great!
Like others have said, there's no issue.
Well done for investigating but since it turned out to be nothing sinister don't say a word.
At least they're at home and safe, plenty of worse places they could be shagging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Extremely bad manners to walk into someone's house and prowl around. Calling from the doorway would have been far more appropriate."
We've all been the OP of a thread that's meant well and backfired! I've had too many to count. I feel for the guy but he's made some wrong calls here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as they are almost adults, acting in an adult way, then an adult response is required.
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, and maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
|
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Extremely bad manners to walk into someone's house and prowl around. Calling from the doorway would have been far more appropriate.
We've all been the OP of a thread that's meant well and backfired! I've had too many to count. I feel for the guy but he's made some wrong calls here "
I'm wondering if he wasn't that age himself once.
If it was a matter of her being underage I might understand but in this case, I don't see why he thought it was his business.
It would have felt as big an invasion of privacy to me at that age as it would now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as they are almost adults, acting in an adult way, then an adult response is required.
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, and maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
"
You need permission to have sex in someone else's house? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Extremely bad manners to walk into someone's house and prowl around. Calling from the doorway would have been far more appropriate.
We've all been the OP of a thread that's meant well and backfired! I've had too many to count. I feel for the guy but he's made some wrong calls here
I'm wondering if he wasn't that age himself once.
If it was a matter of her being underage I might understand but in this case, I don't see why he thought it was his business.
It would have felt as big an invasion of privacy to me at that age as it would now."
Same here. Stumbling in by mistake is one thing but turn and run man! Turn and run! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as they are almost adults, acting in an adult way, then an adult response is required.
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, and maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
"
Um why would the daughter or daughters bf have to ask the mother or father permission to have sex in the house that the daughter lives in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Extremely bad manners to walk into someone's house and prowl around. Calling from the doorway would have been far more appropriate.
We've all been the OP of a thread that's meant well and backfired! I've had too many to count. I feel for the guy but he's made some wrong calls here "
Yeah, not least his apparent inability to recognise the sounds of sexual activity....unless, of course...no, no, that would imply he's some kind of pervert. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as they are almost adults, acting in an adult way, then an adult response is required.
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, and maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
You need permission to have sex in someone else's house?"
Just what I thought |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I wonder what the goddaughter would think if she knew her godfather was on a swinging site meeting multiple strangers for sex on a regular basis.
I expect, though, the OP wouldn't want her prying and would consider that his own, private business. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Extremely bad manners to walk into someone's house and prowl around. Calling from the doorway would have been far more appropriate.
We've all been the OP of a thread that's meant well and backfired! I've had too many to count. I feel for the guy but he's made some wrong calls here
I'm wondering if he wasn't that age himself once.
If it was a matter of her being underage I might understand but in this case, I don't see why he thought it was his business.
It would have felt as big an invasion of privacy to me at that age as it would now.
Same here. Stumbling in by mistake is one thing but turn and run man! Turn and run!"
And apologise rather than reading them the riot act! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as they are almost adults, acting in an adult way, then an adult response is required.
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, and maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
"
If the daughter lived there, why should she ask for permission to have sex there?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"as they are almost adults, acting in an adult way, then an adult response is required.
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, and maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
If the daughter lived there, why should she ask for permission to have sex there? "
So having sex in a house you dont own is acceptable behaviour? Classy.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"as they are almost adults, acting in an adult way, then an adult response is required.
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, and maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
If the daughter lived there, why should she ask for permission to have sex there?
So having sex in a house you dont own is acceptable behaviour? Classy.
"
Is this why so many people are pissy about not being able to get a mortgage? Sex out of mortgage is a sin? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"as they are almost adults, acting in an adult way, then an adult response is required.
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, and maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
If the daughter lived there, why should she ask for permission to have sex there?
So having sex in a house you dont own is acceptable behaviour? Classy.
"
I'm pretty sure her parents would rather she had sex there than down some seedy alley way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"as they are almost adults, acting in an adult way, then an adult response is required.
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, and maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
If the daughter lived there, why should she ask for permission to have sex there?
So having sex in a house you dont own is acceptable behaviour? Classy.
"
I don't own my home. Should I inform my landlady before I have sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder what the goddaughter would think if she knew her godfather was on a swinging site meeting multiple strangers for sex on a regular basis.
I expect, though, the OP wouldn't want her prying and would consider that his own, private business."
Very valid statement well said  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you walk into your friends house only to find his 17 year old daughter being scuttled in their hot tub by some guy.
The good news, the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected
The bad news, I have not told her parents. Quite a quandary. "
Fucking hell, quite a high & mighty attitude you have towards yourself going by this post.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, "
Jeezz, total invasion of privacy there
" maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
"
yes, yes, that's what every bleedin teenager does..... asks for a fucking permit for 3 shags with their daughter in their house  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I can't believe that someone who averages at least 2 meets per month for sex with strangers could be so judgemental about legal sex between two consenting people, (who turned out to be bf and gf, together for a while).
I'm confounded. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in a quandary now.
I'm in a shared ownership property, so I own part of it and rent the other part.
Am I allowed to have say, oral sex without asking for permission from the housing association but if I want full sex, I have to get their permission first of all?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It wasn't your house...it's not your daughter...it's none of your business. Quite why you seem to think you had the right to interfere and make them feel like they were in the wrong is beyond me.
And if I was her mother and you grassed them up to me, it would be YOU who I would be furious with for invading my daughter's privacy.
Get off your high horse and apologise to both of the young people for your intrusion into their private time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I had been asked to go and feed their dogs and walk them. Their daughter came home early from. Weekend away.
"
So you should have fed the dogs, taken them for a walk and discreetly left them to it! It was not your call to interfere |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok. Read the notes. Given that the house was meant to be empty. The door was open and I heard noises and I had been asked to check on the dogs and property I guess I had all the ticks needed to be there.
With regard to moral high horse, nothing could be further from the truth. I judge no one and only wish happiness to all. With regard to embarrassment yes there was a plenty once it was established the house was not actually being robbed.
With regard to talking to her, we always have I am very sure of her maturity and sexual health understanding. As regards telling her parents, I would never do that.
So please feel free to carry on vilifying my obvious concern for her.
Oh, one last thing, so the what would they say mentality and argument that caused the horrendous heartbreak and trauma for so many people last weekend and who is on here is of no importance to any other people than those involved. I did not expect the level of hostility to be frank and I guess I should not be surprised.
My intentions were good and not anything to the contrary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. Read the notes. Given that the house was meant to be empty. The door was open and I heard noises and I had been asked to check on the dogs and property I guess I had all the ticks needed to be there. "
I don't think anyone said you shouldn't have gone in to see what the noise was about
"With regard to moral high horse, nothing could be further from the truth. I judge no one and only wish happiness to all."
I refer back to your original post...
" the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected "
No, not judgemental there at all
"As regards telling her parents, I would never do that. "
That was the whole point of this thread wasn't it, as below
"The bad news, I have not told her parents. Quite a quandary."
"Oh, one last thing, so the what would they say mentality and argument that caused the horrendous heartbreak and trauma for so many people last weekend and who is on here is of no importance to any other people than those involved.
My intentions were good and not anything to the contrary. "
I have absolutly no idea what that's about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok. Read the notes. Given that the house was meant to be empty. The door was open and I heard noises and I had been asked to check on the dogs and property I guess I had all the ticks needed to be there.
I don't think anyone said you shouldn't have gone in to see what the noise was about
With regard to moral high horse, nothing could be further from the truth. I judge no one and only wish happiness to all.
I refer back to your original post...
the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected
No, not judgemental there at all
As regards telling her parents, I would never do that.
That was the whole point of this thread wasn't it, as below
The bad news, I have not told her parents. Quite a quandary.
Oh, one last thing, so the what would they say mentality and argument that caused the horrendous heartbreak and trauma for so many people last weekend and who is on here is of no importance to any other people than those involved.
My intentions were good and not anything to the contrary.
I have absolutly no idea what that's about "
I'm confused too about the horrendous heartbreak and trauma and what it relates to.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No I said he stood by her when I turned up. I never said I dressed him down or lectured the pair of them.
Yes, I was surprised to see her there and that was mutual.
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"No I said he stood by her when I turned up. I never said I dressed him down or lectured the pair of them.
Yes, I was surprised to see her there and that was mutual.
"
"to face the noise" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I for one would hate to think that an adult besides myself or their father would think it appropriate to discuss my minor children's sexual behaviour with them. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Given your goddaughter probably cares about your wellbeing too, I presume you're going to tell her all about your swinging activities, in detail, so she can be confident you are being safe?
No? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
With regard to moral high horse, nothing could be further from the truth. I judge no one and only wish happiness to all."
So in your opening post when you commented that he wasn't the pond life you expected him to be you weren't judging them both? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The noise from me was meant in relation to progress through the house. However. You seem to have latched on to something to vilify people for.
Enjoy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest OP you come across as the worst sort of misogynist, the ones who say they wouldn't date the women they shag on sites like this.
You seem disgusted by the fact she was having sex, why you refer to her as 'being scuttled' is particularly perplexing?
You clearly judge her by assuming that she is 'shagging some guy' rather than considering this could be her boyfriend. And you seem to assume that this guy is a lowlife.
Maybe you need to ask yourself why you jumped to those conclusions and consider what it says about your own views to sex? Because a 17 year old having sex in her house while her parents are away is really no big deal |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"The noise from me was meant in relation to progress through the house. However. You seem to have latched on to something to vilify people for.
Enjoy. "
We've only commented on things that you wrote and are now trying to deny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When you walk into your friends house only to find his 17 year old daughter being scuttled in their hot tub by some guy.
The good news, the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected
The bad news, I have not told her parents. Quite a quandary.
Fucking hell, quite a high & mighty attitude you have towards yourself going by this post. "
And he on a swingers site!! |
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"I never said I dressed him down or lectured the pair of them.
From original post
the guy stayed around to face the noise from me
mmmmkay !!!"
Actually from the original post:
"The good news, the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected and showed some backbone."
To be fair he doesn't say he gave he gave anyone a lecture or a dressing down.
He only says that the bf was man enough to face anything coming his way. Full marks to the lad!
I don't however agree that there's a quandary in not telling the girl's parents.
Leave them to it, just remind them to close the freaking door next time! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When you walk into your friends house through the open door having heard strange noises only to find his 17 year old daughter being scuttled in their hot tub by some guy.
Then the scream of recognition, the desperate grasp for their towels and the pleas of don't tell my mum or dad please!!!
Who thought a godparents job was so stressful.
The good news, the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected and showed some backbone. Also, turns out they have been together six months.
The bad news, I have not told her parents. Quite a quandary. "
Jackanory |
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"I don't see why you should tell her parents ... they're in a relationship, albeit they're young. Surely most of us took advantage of an empty house when we were that age and our parents were out?
Ms G"
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"as they are almost adults, acting in an adult way, then an adult response is required.
I would not tell the parents, although as a god parent make sure they are playing safe, and maybe mention having sex in someone elses home including parents is bad manners without permission.
"
I wouldn't be lecturing them either. |
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"Extremely bad manners to walk into someone's house and prowl around. Calling from the doorway would have been far more appropriate.
We've all been the OP of a thread that's meant well and backfired! I've had too many to count. I feel for the guy but he's made some wrong calls here
I'm wondering if he wasn't that age himself once.
If it was a matter of her being underage I might understand but in this case, I don't see why he thought it was his business.
It would have felt as big an invasion of privacy to me at that age as it would now."
This too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never said I dressed him down or lectured the pair of them.
From original post
the guy stayed around to face the noise from me
mmmmkay !!!
Actually from the original post:
"The good news, the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected and showed some backbone."
To be fair he doesn't say he gave he gave anyone a lecture or a dressing down.
He only says that the bf was man enough to face anything coming his way. Full marks to the lad!
"
That's exactly the point, the "noise from me" can only be interprited as a dressing down of sorts... not footsteps, lol |
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"I never said I dressed him down or lectured the pair of them.
From original post
the guy stayed around to face the noise from me
mmmmkay !!!
Actually from the original post:
"The good news, the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected and showed some backbone."
To be fair he doesn't say he gave he gave anyone a lecture or a dressing down.
He only says that the bf was man enough to face anything coming his way. Full marks to the lad!
That's exactly the point, the "noise from me" can only be interprited as a dressing down of sorts... not footsteps, lol"
You seem to have misread the line.
The guy stayed around to face any consequences, did not run away, and behaved in an adult manner.
The OP didn't say he gave the guy a right royal bollocking.
He said, as far as I can see, that he was surprised that the boyfriend was adult enough to stand alongside his girl and be held accountable for his actions unlike a lot who would have scarpered like a frightened cat.
I'm only reading that which is actually written. I'm not passing judgement. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
Too be honest I (he) at 17 and being caught would have fronted it out (was a bit of a cheeky chappy then I'm afraid) knowing I'd legally done nothing wrong...I would have let you know that too OP being respectful at the same time. "How do you know that?" I hear you say....been there, done that, at 17 too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I never said I dressed him down or lectured the pair of them.
From original post
the guy stayed around to face the noise from me
mmmmkay !!!
Actually from the original post:
"The good news, the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected and showed some backbone."
To be fair he doesn't say he gave he gave anyone a lecture or a dressing down.
He only says that the bf was man enough to face anything coming his way. Full marks to the lad!
That's exactly the point, the "noise from me" can only be interprited as a dressing down of sorts... not footsteps, lol
You seem to have misread the line.
The guy stayed around to face any consequences, did not run away, and behaved in an adult manner.
The OP didn't say he gave the guy a right royal bollocking.
He said, as far as I can see, that he was surprised that the boyfriend was adult enough to stand alongside his girl and be held accountable for his actions unlike a lot who would have scarpered like a frightened cat.
I'm only reading that which is actually written. I'm not passing judgement."
Yeah, be held accountable for what though, and you normally have to do wrong when being held accountable
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"When you walk into your friends house through the open door having heard strange noises only to find his 17 year old daughter being scuttled in their hot tub by some guy.
Then the scream of recognition, the desperate grasp for their towels and the pleas of don't tell my mum or dad please!!!
Who thought a godparents job was so stressful.
The good news, the guy stayed around to face the noise from me so was not the pond life I expected and showed some backbone. Also, turns out they have been together six months.
The bad news, I have not told her parents. Quite a quandary. "
dont tell she,s of age and tbh its got nothing to do with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh goodness, the green arrow shows the OP also visits swingers' clubs and attends sex parties."
Does he ask permission first before having sex somewhere he doesn't own |
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If you respect the girl and your relationship then I'd apologise for entering and finding her in that position. You can ask if she needs any support but she's someone you've known for years, so you just need to reaffirm respect. |
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