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My coworker has really poor eating habits

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I can hear him slapping his food from across the room

How I can kill him and dispose of the body without getting caught?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I thought you were going to say he chose chips over quinoa, in which case I was behind him all the way.

As for noisy eating, nah, needs some words

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple over a year ago

home sweet home

"I can hear him slapping his food from across the room

How I can kill him and dispose of the body without getting caught?"

Pigs. They eat everything including teeth and bones

MrsSB

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Duct tape ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You need a very good area to hide the body, pig farm is ok but a remote quarry is also good

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Make him choke on the food and claim diminished responsibility.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

Tell on him to teacher?

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Haha....I have the same problem! I can't bear to go in the staff room when they are in there!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have the same issue with someone else at work. I'm not even sure it's possible to make noises like that, infact, I've never heard the sound he makes until I've met him. It's incomparable with anything I've heard before. Vombomb indeed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does he burp loudly while you're eating?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Loudly fart, then say "please stop eating while I'm trying to fart".

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By *oddyWoman over a year ago

between havant and chichester

frozen leg of lamb/pork drop from a height defrost cook eat no evidance

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Apple and crisp chompers do my head in!

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By *orkshire biMan over a year ago

elland

People who slurp the warm drinks drives me mad

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By *orkshire biMan over a year ago

elland

People who slurp the warm drinks drives me mad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chewing with one's mouth open is my pet hate. The sound 'knocks me sick'.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Play the intro to Fanfare For The Common Man over and over

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NjssV8UuVA

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Play the intro to Fanfare For The Common Man over and over

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NjssV8UuVA"

I'd have killed him by now and be just asking for help in getting rid of a stiff, dead body, I wouldn't just be planning it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The trick is to make someone else despise it more than you and then let them worry about where to hide the body.

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By *trawberry-popWoman over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

I've got a friend who eats with her mouth open and uses her tongue like a cow would. Eating with her more often might actually help my weight loss.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Play the intro to Fanfare For The Common Man over and over

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NjssV8UuVA

I'd have killed him by now and be just asking for help in getting rid of a stiff, dead body, I wouldn't just be planning it!"

Wasn't there someone asking about Indian natural stone for a new patio yesterday?

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"I've got a friend who eats with her mouth open and uses her tongue like a cow would. Eating with her more often might actually help my weight loss. "

She uses her tongue to pull up grass? Impressive...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

"I can hear him slapping his food from across the room

How I can kill him and dispose of the body without getting caught?

Pigs. They eat everything including teeth and bones

MrsSB

That's what I was thinking: and a fitting ending, for a pig of an eater.

Perhaps you could get him a trough to eat from, as a suggestion of what he may be in for, should he choose not to continue to mimic their eating habits.

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By *arksidesubCouple over a year ago

not far from you..

"I can hear him slapping his food from across the room

How I can kill him and dispose of the body without getting caught?"

Slit his throat with a knife quickly done & easy enough!

Then to the Nearest pig farm!

Sorted!

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

I would have to say something.

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By *icked weaselCouple over a year ago

Near Edinburgh..

"How I can kill him and dispose of the body without getting caught?"

Ask a Farmer !!

Nobody Thinks Twice When They See A Farmer Digging a Hole !! lol..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I can hear him slapping his food from across the room

How I can kill him and dispose of the body without getting caught?

Pigs. They eat everything including teeth and bones

MrsSB

Did someone read Hannibal?!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

"I can hear him slapping his food from across the room

How I can kill him and dispose of the body without getting caught?

Pigs. They eat everything including teeth and bones

MrsSB

Did someone read Hannibal?!"

Oh yes - that was a great read.

Otherwise, it would depend on how well I knew the piggy eater. I'd usually say something, without trying to seem like I was shaming him.

Could you invite him out to eat together? A pub trapdoor to the cellar could be an easy dispatch option, to pigs below. Landlord could get pork for their meals as payment but don't return to eat there.

A nasty strain of food poisoning for the piggy man could also be a fitting end.

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