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Can you change from your usual type?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've deduced that I always go for the wrong type of guy. The ones I consider a bad boy, crap as that expression is, I can't think of a better one. And it always goes tits up in the end.
Can you change the type you go for?That's what I need to do but can it be done? Have you tried it and it's worked? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always go for nice guys after previously not valuing myself and going for dickheads, but tbh nice guys can turn out to be douches as well.
Doesn't seem to matter what you go for, imo. Just gotta keep your wits about you at all times. |
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"I've deduced that I always go for the wrong type of guy. The ones I consider a bad boy, crap as that expression is, I can't think of a better one. And it always goes tits up in the end.
Can you change the type you go for?That's what I need to do but can it be done? Have you tried it and it's worked? "
Easily... You never know what's round the next corner  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah I like to go outwith my type, some of my best times have been with people that haven't been my type, though there has always been attraction/chemistry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To paraphrase Tom Ford: "If you can divorce yourself from what contemporary culture has told us is beautiful, you can then find it in places you would not expect."
So yes I can and definitely will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't really have a type, but there is a few types that I don't go for,for reasons I won't go into, because I don't wish to have a long drawn out discussion about it, and one particular type, would get me slated all day long, but, that said, there occasionally comes a woman of this particular type, that makes my winky dance, but its so rare, its hardly worth mentioning lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've deduced that I always go for the wrong type of guy. The ones I consider a bad boy, crap as that expression is, I can't think of a better one. And it always goes tits up in the end.
Can you change the type you go for?That's what I need to do but can it be done? Have you tried it and it's worked? "
If you find a solution, let me know? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hope so, I am bored of nice guys always finishing last!!"
Nice guys don't always finish last. There are posts on this thread to prove that.
As for changing types yes it is possible. If you think of being attracted to a type as an addiction then you know that by being strong you can beat it. It's having a reason to change and to remind yourself of that reason time and time again. I'm not saying you will never want that type again, but remember the reason you wanted to change in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to go for older men who might seem quite tough on the outside, but on the inside are soft as kittens when they're comfortable to show that side. I doubt that'll change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I seem to attract men with issues. Then I get them sorted and they fuck off and live happily ever after with someone else.
"
I have a fairly tragic history of attracting broken people. I feel your pain |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you learn to value yourself, you won't find dickheads remotely attractive anymore."
There could be something in that. I hope I'm evolving. It's a work in progress. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I seem to attract men with issues. Then I get them sorted and they fuck off and live happily ever after with someone else.
"
I've been a rescuer. Now I fancy being Rapunzel for want of a better analogy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep I deviated from my norm a couple of years ago & he turned out to be one of the nicest, funniest & sexiest guys I've ever met / still meet.
He's one of my best ( non friend )friends if that makes sense  |
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Sure you can change.
We are animals but with some differences from the majority of them, that reside in our heads. We aren't driven to act impulsively, without conscious thought. Whilst debatable, we do hold free will.
Consider why you've been getting the results that you have. Work out a different strategy and course of action that will help deliver the results that you want. And stick with it, continuing to learn from the results that you get, as you go along.
If we don't learn and promptly act upon what we know to be true, then it becomes a wasted opportunity in life. If you're aware of something that's not working for you op, then I can appreciate that something different may be both exciting but also appear elusive. It will be especially elusive if you don't set in place what it is that you need to do to get what you deserve.
There'll be some losses - perhaps you'll get less drama, the guys won't likely be as risqué or offer elements of trouble and a lot more: you'll have a very good idea what you've been getting from your past. Will you be willing to give up a somewhat predictable continuation of those rewards which, let's face it, must have been giving you some great returns for you too. And a new path will offer no guarantees - though the current one doesn't either.
Start small. Decisions limit and direct you. New stuff that you do will let you establish a different way of being you. Don't change everything - take one step at a time. All changing revolution for us can be something that we'll resist. Sequences of steps that are new are progressively easier to integrate and guage our progress with. You may find that you'll find a revolution, just from starting out.
But each of us lives our own lives and whilst it's great to get support from others, it's still important to make a shift when we want it and at the right time for us.
If there's anything deeper, then there's always professional support that can help us out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont have a type per se i enjoy meeting people i get on with.
Apparently according to a friend i have a history of being in the wrong relationships but that according to her is because i am emotionally available  |
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