FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Answer or delete?
Answer or delete?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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From time to time we all get messages of people that we are not interested or not attracted to, right?
Normally I answer "sorry you are not my type", etc. But sometimes they send another message... And then they are being completely rude! 
So now I just wonder if there is any point to be nice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From time to time we all get messages of people that we are not interested or not attracted to, right?
Normally I answer "sorry you are not my type", etc. But sometimes they send another message... And then they are being completely rude!
So now I just wonder if there is any point to be nice "
You could always block and then they don't have a chance to reply ? I think it's lovely when people respond even if it is a no thank you. |
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"From time to time we all get messages of people that we are not interested or not attracted to, right?
Normally I answer "sorry you are not my type", etc. But sometimes they send another message... And then they are being completely rude!
So now I just wonder if there is any point to be nice "
Sadly no, saying nothing is the least likely to provoke a bad response.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i usually reply,but sometimes i do despair..i tried sending 'no you are far from perfect' in icelandic for a while and it worked a treat,never got a single response to that other than a question mark a few times..a male friend on here suggested it! |
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"i usually reply,but sometimes i do despair..i tried sending 'no you are far from perfect' in icelandic for a while and it worked a treat,never got a single response to that other than a question mark a few times..a male friend on here suggested it!"
Haha brilliant  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From time to time we all get messages of people that we are not interested or not attracted to, right?
Normally I answer "sorry you are not my type", etc. But sometimes they send another message... And then they are being completely rude!
So now I just wonder if there is any point to be nice "
It's nice to get a no thanks type of reply and I always reply back with a no probs thanks for the reply type thing although I understand those that just delete and don't reply at all because you girls get millions of messages every day. I'd say if it's causing you issues then don't rey at all, just delete and move on x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it's part of the way it works on here for singletons.. to be honest it's the rude and pestering user's on here that unfortunately and subsequently leave us all (singletons) tard with the same brush.. personally when I get a reply that's polite and to the point..No Thank you, I in return send a "Thank you for your response and wish them well".. some don't, but manners and well being cost nothing.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I'm not trying to be rude at all. But if someone call me names just because I'm not interested, then I will obviously tell them to fuck off and block them 
I was just shocked with some answers I have received. Overall we are here to enjoy ourselves |
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It's nice to get a reply for the genuine people on here even if negative. We often have to ask if people, mainly couples have read our profile as nothing in there profiles show we would interest them, ie the lady playing alone. Occasionally we get, oh sorry, but more often or not abuse when they winked or messaged us first when our profile clearly states what we are after.
And on the other side when we get turned down, a nice thank you for replying, take care, happy swinging is always sent. I think it's all down to how serious you take this site. Abusive replies get a block straight away and move on. There ignorant, twatish attitudes shouldnt change you, and it also kinda proves you made the right decision to say no. Don't let this place change you. Keep polite replying, then delete,
block if needed. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try just saying no thanks instead of your not my type so it's not personal x
Will do. Hope guys wont get mad over that "
We have never had abuse from that so fingers crossed x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From time to time we all get messages of people that we are not interested or not attracted to, right?
Normally I answer "sorry you are not my type", etc. But sometimes they send another message... And then they are being completely rude!
So now I just wonder if there is any point to be nice "
When we can clearly see that the person messaging us has not read our profile(they are to young for us, or send pics) then we usually just delete the message and block them, but if they send a message and have read our profile, but are not our type, we reply saying sorry you are not our type, all we get is abuse, so now we don't bother to reply. It's a shame really, as we always wanted to reply and be nice, but we don't see the point in reply if 90% of the time we just get abuse when someone can't take rejection.
Emma x |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I try to answer all decent messages from people who more or less fit my preferences.
The rest I reply to or delete according to available time and inclination. There are only so many "no thank you"s, "please read my profile and get back to me if you think you fit the description"s and "I don't meet smokers"s I can face writing in one day, even if I had unlimited time to do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I think if I text someone I would prefer get the reply, even if it's "no". I'm trying be nice, when maybe I should be rude as fuck "
dont fall into the category of the ignorant idiots on her. Show them that us scousers are polite  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
It's the ones that send a follow-up a few minutes later to complain you haven't replied that get me.
You get a message, you look and think maybe but don't feel like/don't have time to write a decent response immediately. You mark it as unread so they know it's not been read and ignored, intending to come back to it. 20 minutes later you get a snotty message saying they know you've read the message and demanding to know why you haven't replied; saying how it's "only polite".
If I'm on here or chatting to someone else, for example, I might not want to stop to respond to a message immediately.
I expect the sender chose a time convenient to them to send it, but doesn't think they should extend the same opportunity to me. Apparently I'm supposed to reply in a way convenient to them too and never mind what I want to do with my time.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the ones that send a follow-up a few minutes later to complain you haven't replied that get me.
You get a message, you look and think maybe but don't feel like/don't have time to write a decent response immediately. You mark it as unread so they know it's not been read and ignored, intending to come back to it. 20 minutes later you get a snotty message saying they know you've read the message and demanding to know why you haven't replied; saying how it's "only polite".
If I'm on here or chatting to someone else, for example, I might not want to stop to respond to a message immediately.
I expect the sender chose a time convenient to them to send it, but doesn't think they should extend the same opportunity to me. Apparently I'm supposed to reply in a way convenient to them too and never mind what I want to do with my time.
"
I get this too! One guy wrote to me, I was pressed for time to write a more appropriate reply (as I was interested), so I wrote a very quick one-liner, just so he didn't think I had read it and was now ignoring him. Then when I logged back in, I found a 'well, THAT was shorter than I expected' from him. I wrote and explained my reasoning, but the urge to take things further with him had evaporated, strangely!  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"It's the ones that send a follow-up a few minutes later to complain you haven't replied that get me.
You get a message, you look and think maybe but don't feel like/don't have time to write a decent response immediately. You mark it as unread so they know it's not been read and ignored, intending to come back to it. 20 minutes later you get a snotty message saying they know you've read the message and demanding to know why you haven't replied; saying how it's "only polite".
If I'm on here or chatting to someone else, for example, I might not want to stop to respond to a message immediately.
I expect the sender chose a time convenient to them to send it, but doesn't think they should extend the same opportunity to me. Apparently I'm supposed to reply in a way convenient to them too and never mind what I want to do with my time.
I get this too! One guy wrote to me, I was pressed for time to write a more appropriate reply (as I was interested), so I wrote a very quick one-liner, just so he didn't think I had read it and was now ignoring him. Then when I logged back in, I found a 'well, THAT was shorter than I expected' from him. I wrote and explained my reasoning, but the urge to take things further with him had evaporated, strangely! "
Yeah, do answer or don't answer, either way you're in the wrong. How dare we have anything else to do with our time and prioritise it over them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op. If that was me and done the same. I'd then just block, I avoid arguments.
I don't expect a reply if there not interested. I'm surprised if they even get read now. Lots of negative around on people's profiles and he forum would only lead more negativity from normal people. It might not !
I would always reply If friendly. 
If they're not friendly, then all bets are off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's nice to get a reply for the genuine people on here even if negative. We often have to ask if people, mainly couples have read our profile as nothing in there profiles show we would interest them, ie the lady playing alone. Occasionally we get, oh sorry, but more often or not abuse when they winked or messaged us first when our profile clearly states what we are after.
And on the other side when we get turned down, a nice thank you for replying, take care, happy swinging is always sent. I think it's all down to how serious you take this site. Abusive replies get a block straight away and move on. There ignorant, twatish attitudes shouldnt change you, and it also kinda proves you made the right decision to say no. Don't let this place change you. Keep polite replying, then delete,
block if needed. X "
Well I'm still trying to be nice, even if we don't want to meet them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The last time I replied with a no thanks, your not my type.... It resulted in 7 follow up messages wanting a explanation why "
Haha happened to me once too had to block him as he wouldn't want to give up and keep sending "better" pictures haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I assume we are all adults and here to play. Even we are here few months its surprising me how many people act like this. We are still answering "thanks but no thanks" or "sorry you are not my type" but if they keep asking to meet, send "better" picture or just rude message, then they get blocked. Problem solved |
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"From time to time we all get messages of people that we are not interested or not attracted to, right?
Normally I answer "sorry you are not my type", etc. But sometimes they send another message... And then they are being completely rude!
So now I just wonder if there is any point to be nice "
If they don't meet what you're looking for and haven't read your profile why leave yourself open to abuse by responding?!!
I like my life drama free. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"From time to time we all get messages of people that we are not interested or not attracted to, right?
Normally I answer "sorry you are not my type", etc. But sometimes they send another message... And then they are being completely rude!
So now I just wonder if there is any point to be nice
If they don't meet what you're looking for and haven't read your profile why leave yourself open to abuse by responding?!!
I like my life drama free."
I thought its nice to have respond, but now if I notice someone haven't read our profile then we don't even answer. If they do, but just are not what we are looking for, then we answer. I haven't received any rude response for a while |
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If the message includes something in our profile to show it has been read we will always reply, even if its a no thanks. If its a fancy a fuck or want to meet now it gets deleted and blocked. That is couples as well as men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From time to time we all get messages of people that we are not interested or not attracted to, right?
Normally I answer "sorry you are not my type", etc. But sometimes they send another message... And then they are being completely rude!
So now I just wonder if there is any point to be nice "
Short answer? Yes. Carry on being nice polite people. If you get a rude reply? Block them. Even a polite rejection warms the heart of my cockles as I'm sure it would all the other nice people here.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always reply to the first message (Despite site rules) it's only being polite but if I get a "what's wrong with me" response or similar then I ignore "
Nice finger btw |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually say no in a polite way. Most are just glad you reply either way, some want more info as to why not, and a very small handful get right arsey and call you a twat.
Swings and roundabouts - any whiff of trouble and I block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To those who've had the unhappy experience of being abused for rejecting someone, may I ask which approach tends to provoke the most vitriol: a written 'no thanks', or choosing not to reply at all? |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"To those who've had the unhappy experience of being abused for rejecting someone, may I ask which approach tends to provoke the most vitriol: a written 'no thanks', or choosing not to reply at all?"
A 'no thanks'. I've had no abuse from not responding. |
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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago
The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales |
"i usually reply,but sometimes i do despair..i tried sending 'no you are far from perfect' in icelandic for a while and it worked a treat,never got a single response to that other than a question mark a few times..a male friend on here suggested it!"
That is a cracking idea, I will remember that one. Thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those who've had the unhappy experience of being abused for rejecting someone, may I ask which approach tends to provoke the most vitriol: a written 'no thanks', or choosing not to reply at all?"
Both in my case.
A no thanks evoked a response along the lines of you think you're better than everyone else and the delete got a harsher reply along the lines of being a cock teasing cunt where I was told to laugh it up and fuck off because I was ruining the site for others.
I don't think he was a fan of my forum comments lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those who've had the unhappy experience of being abused for rejecting someone, may I ask which approach tends to provoke the most vitriol: a written 'no thanks', or choosing not to reply at all?
Both in my case.
A no thanks evoked a response along the lines of you think you're better than everyone else and the delete got a harsher reply along the lines of being a cock teasing cunt where I was told to laugh it up and fuck off because I was ruining the site for others.
I don't think he was a fan of my forum comments lol"
just having a bad day then it seems |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just put one word if I'm not interested "no"
I have actually got a thread of messages going with 1 totally abusive moron on here, he sends me paragraphs of abuse and every single time I just reply "no"
I've just replied again to him and that was my 24th "no" to him!! Absolutely priceless the effects of a single word |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those who've had the unhappy experience of being abused for rejecting someone, may I ask which approach tends to provoke the most vitriol: a written 'no thanks', or choosing not to reply at all?
Both in my case.
A no thanks evoked a response along the lines of you think you're better than everyone else and the delete got a harsher reply along the lines of being a cock teasing cunt where I was told to laugh it up and fuck off because I was ruining the site for others.
I don't think he was a fan of my forum comments lol"
That'll be it - far too mouthy and opinionated for such gentle flowers as your lovely correspondent...
It's the hair-trigger between, 'I fancy you enough to write in hope', to that disgusting verbal onslaught, that intrigues me. Do such people really go through life never being told, 'no'? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have actually got a thread of messages going with 1 totally abusive moron on here, he sends me paragraphs of abuse and every single time I just reply "no"
I've just replied again to him and that was my 24th "no" to him!!"
Wow! You know he's waiting for you to melt on that special 28th message, where the abuse becomes poetic and you're won over? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some messages are so politely written that it seems cruel to just delete them when they aren't what I'm looking for. If they're from outside South Wales it's easy enough to say thanks but I'm only looking for local people, but when they're in my area and they aren't what I'm looking for I'm just saying now that I've found someone on here that I'm meeting regularly. |
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I have a stock reply which I just paste into the reply box if I'm not really that interested.
"Thanks for your message. If you see us at a club come and say hi".
As at a club I'm a LOT less interested in personality or looks than if meeting at a social or to see if there's a spark.
This often results in "but I don't go to clubs", but that's easily ignorable. |
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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago
Pleasuretown |
"To those who've had the unhappy experience of being abused for rejecting someone, may I ask which approach tends to provoke the most vitriol: a written 'no thanks', or choosing not to reply at all?"
Both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those who've had the unhappy experience of being abused for rejecting someone, may I ask which approach tends to provoke the most vitriol: a written 'no thanks', or choosing not to reply at all?
Both."
There really is no secret to avoiding it completely, seemingly... |
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By *ildt123Man
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
"Well I think if I text someone I would prefer get the reply, even if it's "no". I'm trying be nice, when maybe I should be rude as fuck "
Continue to be nice and do what you believe to be the right thing. Don't be horrible just because others have no manners or class.
I agree with you, a thanks but no thanks message is polite, clearly so do you so why change because of a few idiots, stay nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If we get messages from couples we always reply but we are only here for the forums and usually most have a bit of back and forth, no ones ever nasty, single males if they are one word messages or the usual 'can I?' Get an instant block (we've blocked all single makes now though!)
G x |
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If I was not to some ones taste that's fine but I would rather them just say sorry not my type and such just so I know they have seen it after that I just say ok thanks and happy fabbing no need to be a dick about it under stand iam not going to be to every ones taste |
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I always reply, even if it's a "no thank you".
I also respect being told the same.
If that gets abused, there is always the block option.
However, I'm not female but can imagine the abuse some of the ladies here receive. A 'Read, deleted' notification should be hint enough for most people with a glint of intelligence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I
However, I'm not female but can imagine the abuse some of the ladies here receive. A 'Read, deleted' notification should be hint enough for most people with a glint of intelligence."
I can't imagine, it's just not in me to verbally abuse somebody over their free choice.
Whenever I read about past experience or a profile with lots of warnings indicating bad experiences with messages, i shake my head and feel like I need to give them a big cuddly bear hug, and assure them. Some people are nasty, some people are nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have actually got a thread of messages going with 1 totally abusive moron on here, he sends me paragraphs of abuse and every single time I just reply "no"
I've just replied again to him and that was my 24th "no" to him!!
Wow! You know he's waiting for you to melt on that special 28th message, where the abuse becomes poetic and you're won over? "
Ha ha he's still messaging (abusing) me it's entertaining to say the least |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have actually got a thread of messages going with 1 totally abusive moron on here, he sends me paragraphs of abuse and every single time I just reply "no"
I've just replied again to him and that was my 24th "no" to him!!
Wow! You know he's waiting for you to melt on that special 28th message, where the abuse becomes poetic and you're won over?
Ha ha he's still messaging (abusing) me it's entertaining to say the least "
And I wont stop until you say yes  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To those who've had the unhappy experience of being abused for rejecting someone, may I ask which approach tends to provoke the most vitriol: a written 'no thanks', or choosing not to reply at all?"
"sorry, you are not my type"
"no, thanks I'm not interested"
But had few weird "first" messages:
"can I make you pregnant"
"I will smash your ass"
or
"does your girl pee her pants and you drink it"
"do you sell used underwear"
And they get blocked without reply haha
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just put one word if I'm not interested "no"
I have actually got a thread of messages going with 1 totally abusive moron on here, he sends me paragraphs of abuse and every single time I just reply "no"
I've just replied again to him and that was my 24th "no" to him!! Absolutely priceless the effects of a single word "
I will try that out haha at least I will have some laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, it very much depends on the message they've sent. If it's clear that they've read my profile or taken the time to write a nice intro message, I will reply to say "no thank you but appreciate the message". If their message is a "wot u up2" or a "free now", I just go straight to delete. Life's too short! |
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