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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is about people that are never happy for you and always seem to find negative to make themselves feel better!It sometimes makes you feel shitty but then I realise it's their ignorance.have other people had this happem to them and do you find this annoying?The worst thing about it is when they are sposed to be friends or even family. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately I tend to get this everywhere I go. Just learnt to ignore it now"
Especially when you try and better yourself people always have a negative comment to say and can never be positive just kind of annoyed me to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately I tend to get this everywhere I go. Just learnt to ignore it now
Especially when you try and better yourself people always have a negative comment to say and can never be positive just kind of annoyed me to be honest."
Welcome to the forums  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately I tend to get this everywhere I go. Just learnt to ignore it now
Especially when you try and better yourself people always have a negative comment to say and can never be positive just kind of annoyed me to be honest."
Set out to prove them wrong |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately I tend to get this everywhere I go. Just learnt to ignore it now
Especially when you try and better yourself people always have a negative comment to say and can never be positive just kind of annoyed me to be honest.
Welcome to the forums "
Ah no this was real life I know people on these forums think they know it all anyway so youve got to take them with a pinch of salt.it's more family and friends at times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately I tend to get this everywhere I go. Just learnt to ignore it now
Especially when you try and better yourself people always have a negative comment to say and can never be positive just kind of annoyed me to be honest.
Welcome to the forums
Ah no this was real life I know people on these forums think they know it all anyway so youve got to take them with a pinch of salt.it's more family and friends at times."
You will learn as you get older you will lose many friends... But family you can't avoid.. I would suggest just seeing the negative ones only during the holidays.. |
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An ex g/f of mine had a stepmother that was constantly belittling her. It was sad to see and because her father was so obsessed with his "trophy wife", he failed to see exactly what was actually going on. In the end I felt I had to intervene and had a quiet word with him, funnily enough about 3 months later, he left her and harmony was restored between father & daughter. I still go for the odd pint with her old man  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately I tend to get this everywhere I go. Just learnt to ignore it now
Especially when you try and better yourself people always have a negative comment to say and can never be positive just kind of annoyed me to be honest.
Welcome to the forums
Ah no this was real life I know people on these forums think they know it all anyway so youve got to take them with a pinch of salt.it's more family and friends at times.
You will learn as you get older you will lose many friends... But family you can't avoid.. I would suggest just seeing the negative ones only during the holidays.. "
I have let go of alot of friends all for good reason and sometimes the less people you have around you the less drama comes your way.I am more than happy with a small circle of good people around me nowadays.sadly u can't change family yes you are right and one or two friends I have known for ages have negative attitudes at times so may need to distance myself from it because it cannot be healthy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"An ex g/f of mine had a stepmother that was constantly belittling her. It was sad to see and because her father was so obsessed with his "trophy wife", he failed to see exactly what was actually going on. In the end I felt I had to intervene and had a quiet word with him, funnily enough about 3 months later, he left her and harmony was restored between father & daughter. I still go for the odd pint with her old man "
Good story sometimes people need a subtle push to see how toxic people are. |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"Don't let negative toxic people rent any space in your head"
"just Raise the rent and kick them out"
As far as I'm concerned that is work colleagues, acquaintance, friends and family.
Once you get to the positive place yourself then it's easier to deal with those people at arms length without them sapping your energy! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately I tend to get this everywhere I go. Just learnt to ignore it now
Especially when you try and better yourself people always have a negative comment to say and can never be positive just kind of annoyed me to be honest.
Set out to prove them wrong "
Just gonna do what makes me happy to be honest they won't get far being negative in life anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""Don't let negative toxic people rent any space in your head"
"just Raise the rent and kick them out"
As far as I'm concerned that is work colleagues, acquaintance, friends and family.
Once you get to the positive place yourself then it's easier to deal with those people at arms length without them sapping your energy! "
Thanks this is what I am trying to do.slowly distancing myself from negativity but it can be hard when those people call your phone often.sometimes I think people just check up to see what your upto and be nosey. |
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I do a few things with these - I'll call them out on it, speak to them about it when it's not happening, tell them what I'm feeling .. Eg I 'I feel sad, upset' etc. Or avoid and cut them out.
They have a lot invested in them not changing and by virtue of this, you not changing from how'd you were or were perceived. They can stay in their own prison if they wish but I'm not an inmate. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do a few things with these - I'll call them out on it, speak to them about it when it's not happening, tell them what I'm feeling .. Eg I 'I feel sad, upset' etc. Or avoid and cut them out.
They have a lot invested in them not changing and by virtue of this, you not changing from how'd you were or were perceived. They can stay in their own prison if they wish but I'm not an inmate."
With these people I think sometimes it's just matchoness and other times stupidity or ignorance the type of people who measure everything and everyone by money and status,,,I find this very shallow to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is about people that are never happy for you and always seem to find negative to make themselves feel better!It sometimes makes you feel shitty but then I realise it's their ignorance.have other people had this happem to them and do you find this annoying?The worst thing about it is when they are sposed to be friends or even family."
I tend to pity them,must be a nasty dark force inside that drives that attitude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Constant put downs / belittling becomes very wearing, I'm sure it all comes down to their own insecurities.
You either try and rise above it or next time point it out to them, ask them if that comment was necessary, they may be unaware how it comes across. |
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Unfortunately, it is something which started a long time ago, when things weren't going great and soon develops into a habit. It is very difficult to break the habit, unless deliberately setting about to stop oneself.
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
If someone I know is constantly negative, I will try my best to determine if there is a reason for it like depression etc. I may offer help.
If they are just moaning fuckers, I will remove myself from them and not give them another thought.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is about people that are never happy for you and always seem to find negative to make themselves feel better!It sometimes makes you feel shitty but then I realise it's their ignorance.have other people had this happem to them and do you find this annoying?The worst thing about it is when they are sposed to be friends or even family."
My daughter is like this, she's 22 and had a hysterectomy when she was 18, after the operation she gained a lot of weight which she hated, mostly due to the medication she was on, she tried like mad to loose the weight but it wouldn't shift, three years after the operation they changed her medication and the weight is slowly coming off, she's still unhappy about her weight though, the problem is in order to make herself feel better she's constantly putting me down about my weight, it gets to me at times but I try to be understanding, they say you take things out on those closest to you
She even admits what she's doing
I just ride it through because I know she will loose the weight and be happy again, I guess being an emotional punching bag is part of being a Mum |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Constant put downs / belittling becomes very wearing, I'm sure it all comes down to their own insecurities.
You either try and rise above it or next time point it out to them, ask them if that comment was necessary, they may be unaware how it comes across. "
Spot on with this comment I think it is their own insecuritis but I would rather not argue with idiots it's draining I try and rise above it but not always possible. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is about people that are never happy for you and always seem to find negative to make themselves feel better!It sometimes makes you feel shitty but then I realise it's their ignorance.have other people had this happem to them and do you find this annoying?The worst thing about it is when they are sposed to be friends or even family.
My daughter is like this, she's 22 and had a hysterectomy when she was 18, after the operation she gained a lot of weight which she hated, mostly due to the medication she was on, she tried like mad to loose the weight but it wouldn't shift, three years after the operation they changed her medication and the weight is slowly coming off, she's still unhappy about her weight though, the problem is in order to make herself feel better she's constantly putting me down about my weight, it gets to me at times but I try to be understanding, they say you take things out on those closest to you
She even admits what she's doing
I just ride it through because I know she will loose the weight and be happy again, I guess being an emotional punching bag is part of being a Mum "
Aww sorry to hear this still doesn't make it right though.have you discussed it with her and said it's not fair to take it out on you and be nasty?X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have family members like that too, I try to avoid them as much as possible."
I am starting to feel the same way can't be doing with their negative energy dampening my mood. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all honesty, my mum's husband has put me down, humiliated me and belittled me since I was four years old. Luckily I've learned to just pity him for the sad old man that he is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In all honesty, my mum's husband has put me down, humiliated me and belittled me since I was four years old. Luckily I've learned to just pity him for the sad old man that he is."
That why you like seeing men in pain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In all honesty, my mum's husband has put me down, humiliated me and belittled me since I was four years old. Luckily I've learned to just pity him for the sad old man that he is.
That why you like seeing men in pain"
Only you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately, it is something which started a long time ago, when things weren't going great and soon develops into a habit. It is very difficult to break the habit, unless deliberately setting about to stop oneself.
"
Maybe you are on to something because one person in particular he has had this personality trait all his life even now when he has a positive life he is still negative towards others. |
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