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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Has anyone here ever had any experience
with one?
Shaz is due to start work soon but I have also landed a job that I start on wednesday so looking at our options.
Also, how would one get around being in the swinging scene if one has an Au pair ?
Thanks in advance.
Shaz n Tony 
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I worked as an au pair when I was younger and I can tell you that as soon as I had my free time I was out of the house...lol...but I don't see why it should hinder your swinging life, just do not accomidate when she is home.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well are you going to be having her live with you 24/7? Au-pairs get time off just like everyone else. If she is there all the while surely you can still swing but not at home"
Yeah well we know that lol but would never know when he/she would be in so we could arrange a meet.
Swinging away from home is easier said than done for us, we can't drive and I hate hotels!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I worked as an au pair when I was younger and I can tell you that as soon as I had my free time I was out of the house...lol...but I don't see why it should hinder your swinging life, just do not accomidate when she is home...."
That is the thing, when will she/he be at home  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Advertise on here for a swinging au pair and kill two birds with one stone. Figuratively speaking.   "
Now there is an idea
We wouldn't have a problem telling him/her about our lifestyle, just wouldn't fancy being walked in on 1/2 way through the act and putting them into shock  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"whats wrong with using a registered childminder?
"
Nothing at all, we are just collecting info on all options so we can make our mind up on what way to go
We was only thinking along the lines of an Au pair as we have 2 free bedrooms.
Tony |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why don't you just get a daily child minder? "
I had a live in nanny when mine were little and I worked. It was more convenient if I was away and not going to get back before their bedtime than having a child minder looking after them in her home and upsetting her routine if mine went pear shaped. Also useful with early doors meetings etc. |
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By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago
the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands |
Had both positive and negative experience of aupairs...as a young man I shared my flat with two Swedish aupairs, that was fun. Later on when I married and we had young children we had a french aupair work for her, like others have said, the moment it was their free time, they were gone out enjoying themselves, so we had plenty of time to pack the kids off to their grandparents and have fun ourselves. We did experience some negative times with aupairs though, a Morrocan girl that arrived with a highly infectious disease that meant we were all isolated, and another german aupair that stole from us, did a bunk and dumped our kids up the street with a stranger whilst we were at work. Just be careful, get the references and go through an agency that guarantees you some peace of mind. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
There are many great nannies and professional agencies through which you can find somebody. Unfortunately my experience with nannies and au pairs were, but for one exception, overall not too positive, irrelevant of their nationalities. I would serisouly think twice before inviting a stranger into your home - escalating phone bills, no control over what goes on when you are not around are just a couple of minor considerations. If you hire a registered childminder you can be sure of CRB check and if things turn sour, it is easier to terminate the contract than with somebody who lives in your house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Blimey I must have just been very lucky. My nanny was lovely and the kids loved her too. She even came on holidays with us. Stayed with us for 4 years and then got married. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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having a nanny/au pair u r inviting them to be part of ur life in many ways....not just to look after ur child as they are in ur home.
a childminder is there to just care for the kid.
you need to way it up and decide |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"having a nanny/au pair u r inviting them to be part of ur life in many ways....not just to look after ur child as they are in ur home.
a childminder is there to just care for the kid.
you need to way it up and decide"
Statistics prove children to be in danger of abuse from their own extended family. Most abusers are known to the child.
Yes you have to weigh up the pros and cons of lots of things when you have children. |
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Remember childminders are not just CRB checked but ofsteded.They choose looking after children as a career and have to show they are considering a child's development ,needs and education.An au pair does not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"having a nanny/au pair u r inviting them to be part of ur life in many ways....not just to look after ur child as they are in ur home.
a childminder is there to just care for the kid.
you need to way it up and decide
Statistics prove children to be in danger of abuse from their own extended family. Most abusers are known to the child.
Yes you have to weigh up the pros and cons of lots of things when you have children. "
yup u r right... but wasnt talking from an abuse background was talking from the swinging/private life kinda thing... as that is what the op was talking about.... |
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"Remember childminders are not just CRB checked but ofsteded.They choose looking after children as a career and have to show they are considering a child's development ,needs and education.An au pair does not."
so because an aupair has not chosen it as a career she is incapable of doing all that? I worked for 3 different families as an aupair when I was younger and I think I did a damn good job at considering those very things..and I have met a couple of registered childminders who just sit kids in front of the telly or bring the kids to an indoor play park and just sit there online on their phones..all CRB checked...all having chosen to look after children as a career. I am still in contact with all 3 families to this day,so having an aupair in your life can be a positive thing for both sides of the equation. |
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"Remember childminders are not just CRB checked but ofsteded.They choose looking after children as a career and have to show they are considering a child's development ,needs and education.An au pair does not.
so because an aupair has not chosen it as a career she is incapable of doing all that? I worked for 3 different families as an aupair when I was younger and I think I did a damn good job at considering those very things..and I have met a couple of registered childminders who just sit kids in front of the telly or bring the kids to an indoor play park and just sit there online on their phones..all CRB checked...all having chosen to look after children as a career. I am still in contact with all 3 families to this day,so having an aupair in your life can be a positive thing for both sides of the equation."
If they did that I doubt they would be passed by ofsted,or are you talking about the situation in the past rather than today.
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no,I am talking about people who friends of mine have come across in the past couple of years.the incident in the playpark I witnessed myself when I had gone to a playdate for my kids and saw a mate's 3 year old there with his childminder and she was spending more time on her phone than watching the kids.needless to say she soon found a new one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no,I am talking about people who friends of mine have come across in the past couple of years.the incident in the playpark I witnessed myself when I had gone to a playdate for my kids and saw a mate's 3 year old there with his childminder and she was spending more time on her phone than watching the kids.needless to say she soon found a new one."
WE ARE NOT ALL LIKE THAT. We have to do the same work now as nurseries regarding planning and development and observations. We dont get any time off during the day to do this and have to do it in our own time. Most of us working a 50 week already working for less than minimum wage.
We work damn hard with very little appreciation.
You do get bad minders but you get just as many bad Au pairs and Nursery workers.
Please don't tar us all with the same brush.
I became a child minder myself because of a bad experience with and Au Pair. I discovered she was leaving my very young daughter strapped in her car seat up stairs while she sat on my computer all day. Do I say Au Pairs are all like it. NO |
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"no,I am talking about people who friends of mine have come across in the past couple of years.the incident in the playpark I witnessed myself when I had gone to a playdate for my kids and saw a mate's 3 year old there with his childminder and she was spending more time on her phone than watching the kids.needless to say she soon found a new one.
WE ARE NOT ALL LIKE THAT. We have to do the same work now as nurseries regarding planning and development and observations. We dont get any time off during the day to do this and have to do it in our own time. Most of us working a 50 week already working for less than minimum wage.
We work damn hard with very little appreciation.
You do get bad minders but you get just as many bad Au pairs and Nursery workers.
Please don't tar us all with the same brush.
I became a child minder myself because of a bad experience with and Au Pair. I discovered she was leaving my very young daughter strapped in her car seat up stairs while she sat on my computer all day. Do I say Au Pairs are all like it. NO"
Did I not say that all childminders were like that? NO I was just trying to make the point that with in any group..aupairs, nannys,childminders you will have good and bad.
I have the utmost respect for childminders, my mother worked in a daycare for over 20 years, my sister is a childminder so I know the long hours and prep you have to do on your own time..I started childminding as a teenager, came over here for the very first time at the age of 17 for a summer as the family I had worked for the previous 2 years had moved to London.No I was not a registered childminder, as back then it wasn't really done,well, back home anyways, I can not speak for what it was like here 20 years ago. I have always looked after children, and that what was attracted me to becoming an aupair, looking after kids,learning a new language,culture. I know from talking with the families I worked for that they had also had some bad experiences with some of the girls they had working for them, and it sickens me that someone did that to your child while she was in their care...but as with all things there are some of us who are gooduns too..lol...I am still in contact with all 3 families I worked for, in fact just got a surprise message from the last family I worked for in 2000 saying pick a weekend and there is a plane ticket with my name on it to go out to switzerland to see them. one of my twins; middles names is actually named after the mum from that family.It can be such a great experience when the match is right. |
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