 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Once i have a bit more free time id like to go to one  im new to it all so what would i expect when i go?  new to swinging too so wouldnt know where to start
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ws101Man
over a year ago
mansfield |
Can hold my hand at the attic if you want. Ide b nervous too as ive never been to a club either  Same boat. Kids and very rare free time plus travel too and from  both from notts tho which is nice  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
choose that you are going to have a nose socially, choose a couples singles /limited men night for your first time. ( a suggestion) you can expect a warm welcome from the owners or hosts, a tour around, an introduction to a few regulars and regular checkin's that you are ok, throughout the night from staff..
you can expect a mix of people, social chat, laughter, looks and interest in you, even social interest.. most people are sociable and friendly. if you have questions they will all be answered and you should expect respect, if you dont get that you should be telling someone uickly about it.. most look after newbies, especially single females very well x
have a wonderful adventure and enjoy yourself x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"choose that you are going to have a nose socially, choose a couples singles /limited men night for your first time. ( a suggestion) you can expect a warm welcome from the owners or hosts, a tour around, an introduction to a few regulars and regular checkin's that you are ok, throughout the night from staff..
you can expect a mix of people, social chat, laughter, looks and interest in you, even social interest.. most people are sociable and friendly. if you have questions they will all be answered and you should expect respect, if you dont get that you should be telling someone uickly about it.. most look after newbies, especially single females very well x
have a wonderful adventure and enjoy yourself x"
Thanks il keep that in mind.. im just getting my confidence back so wanna get out there and have more fun x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"choose that you are going to have a nose socially, choose a couples singles /limited men night for your first time. ( a suggestion) you can expect a warm welcome from the owners or hosts, a tour around, an introduction to a few regulars and regular checkin's that you are ok, throughout the night from staff..
you can expect a mix of people, social chat, laughter, looks and interest in you, even social interest.. most people are sociable and friendly. if you have questions they will all be answered and you should expect respect, if you dont get that you should be telling someone uickly about it.. most look after newbies, especially single females very well x
have a wonderful adventure and enjoy yourself x
Thanks il keep that in mind.. im just getting my confidence back so wanna get out there and have more fun x"
just like anyone else..take it at your pace xx ive been going to clubs now for over a year, i still get nervous going to new ones on my own..but i do it, because i can...you can too xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"choose that you are going to have a nose socially, choose a couples singles /limited men night for your first time. ( a suggestion) you can expect a warm welcome from the owners or hosts, a tour around, an introduction to a few regulars and regular checkin's that you are ok, throughout the night from staff..
you can expect a mix of people, social chat, laughter, looks and interest in you, even social interest.. most people are sociable and friendly. if you have questions they will all be answered and you should expect respect, if you dont get that you should be telling someone uickly about it.. most look after newbies, especially single females very well x
have a wonderful adventure and enjoy yourself x
Thanks il keep that in mind.. im just getting my confidence back so wanna get out there and have more fun x just like anyone else..take it at your pace xx ive been going to clubs now for over a year, i still get nervous going to new ones on my own..but i do it, because i can...you can too xx"
Thanks sweetie ive heard so much about the clubs so really wanna try going |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I went to a Club gor the first time a couple of weeks ago. I went with a female friend and thought I would stick out like a sore thumb.
As it turns out I enjoyed myself, didn't feel any pressure and didn't just hide in a corner. You might surprise yourself OP xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I went to a Club gor the first time a couple of weeks ago. I went with a female friend and thought I would stick out like a sore thumb.
As it turns out I enjoyed myself, didn't feel any pressure and didn't just hide in a corner. You might surprise yourself OP xx"
Yeah im looking forward to going now should be a great first experience |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I went to a Club gor the first time a couple of weeks ago. I went with a female friend and thought I would stick out like a sore thumb.
As it turns out I enjoyed myself, didn't feel any pressure and didn't just hide in a corner. You might surprise yourself OP xx
Yeah im looking forward to going now should be a great first experience"
not sure where you intend to go, but if i happen to be at the same place, be sure to say hi xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I went to a Club gor the first time a couple of weeks ago. I went with a female friend and thought I would stick out like a sore thumb.
As it turns out I enjoyed myself, didn't feel any pressure and didn't just hide in a corner. You might surprise yourself OP xx
Yeah im looking forward to going now should be a great first experience
not sure where you intend to go, but if i happen to be at the same place, be sure to say hi xx"
I think itd be the attic in derby  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"I went to a Club gor the first time a couple of weeks ago. I went with a female friend and thought I would stick out like a sore thumb.
As it turns out I enjoyed myself, didn't feel any pressure and didn't just hide in a corner. You might surprise yourself OP xx
Yeah im looking forward to going now should be a great first experience
not sure where you intend to go, but if i happen to be at the same place, be sure to say hi xx
I think itd be the attic in derby "
ok..the owners and tour were amazing for me..great club ..i was very naughty, but i was with someone i trusted x  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've only been to a club once, was really nervous but went with my female friend and loved the night. I didn't play but enjoyed the surroundings and activity going on around me.
There was no pressure at all. I chatted to lots of different people and all were really friendly.
I'm sure you'll have a great time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I went to a Club gor the first time a couple of weeks ago. I went with a female friend and thought I would stick out like a sore thumb.
As it turns out I enjoyed myself, didn't feel any pressure and didn't just hide in a corner. You might surprise yourself OP xx
Yeah im looking forward to going now should be a great first experience
not sure where you intend to go, but if i happen to be at the same place, be sure to say hi xx
I think itd be the attic in derby ok..the owners and tour were amazing for me..great club ..i was very naughty, but i was with someone i trusted x "
I cannot wait till im more free to have some fun  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Expect the club owners and staff to be very accomodating and friendly, always have been at every one ive attended.
Expect that you will not be judged or stick out.
Expect that if you are playing people are going to ask to join, but should be respectful of the first no.
Expect to be slightly wary of asian men. Sorry if this offends anyone but the only people ive ever seen breaking club ettiquete have been of this demographic. Not likely to cause massive problems since you will likely have others around you but may make you slightly comfortable.
Expect that you will have to be very proactive in order to get anywhere unless you are a VERY attractive single female. Even a relatively attractive couple will have to put some serious work in, which may surprise you when you see people significantly older/less athletic playing with people who would snub you. Clubs are cliquey environments, even more so than Fab. If you are a social introvert you may struggle to get anywhere. You wont be maligned or judged, you will simply be ignored.
But, for all the good and bad parts of the club scene, its rarely a bad night, and you will usually find someone to have good conversation with. Especially the men, perhaps unsurprisingly. Most of my best nights in clubs have been spent primarily shooting the shit with a load of guys in the hot tubs, usually trying to stop my partner from distracting me under the water haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Expect the club owners and staff to be very accomodating and friendly, always have been at every one ive attended.
Expect that you will not be judged or stick out.
Expect that if you are playing people are going to ask to join, but should be respectful of the first no.
Expect to be slightly wary of asian men. Sorry if this offends anyone but the only people ive ever seen breaking club ettiquete have been of this demographic. Not likely to cause massive problems since you will likely have others around you but may make you slightly comfortable.
Expect that you will have to be very proactive in order to get anywhere unless you are a VERY attractive single female. Even a relatively attractive couple will have to put some serious work in, which may surprise you when you see people significantly older/less athletic playing with people who would snub you. Clubs are cliquey environments, even more so than Fab. If you are a social introvert you may struggle to get anywhere. You wont be maligned or judged, you will simply be ignored.
But, for all the good and bad parts of the club scene, its rarely a bad night, and you will usually find someone to have good conversation with. Especially the men, perhaps unsurprisingly. Most of my best nights in clubs have been spent primarily shooting the shit with a load of guys in the hot tubs, usually trying to stop my partner from distracting me under the water haha "
Il keep that in mind thanks for all the advice x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've copied and slightly edited my reply to a couple who asked the same question recently:
There are dressed clubs and dressed down clubs - also sometimes called wet clubs. So check the information. You may be expected (eg Chameleons, Cupids) to go straight to the locker room and change into lingerie etc. Other clubs you remain fully dressed in in the social areas. Though there are often rules about men stripping down in play areas.
Read the club website and consider messaging them letting them know when you're coming so you can be sure to get all the info you need and answers to any questions. Read reviews on here, but like TripAdvisor use a bit of nous: complainers might have a valid point or they may have been kicked out for being a twat, praisers may have genuinely loved the place or they could be cronies. Mostly you can suss it out.
Go expecting a night out that's unlike your usual one but don't plan on play. In fact, possibly plan NOT to play so you can work out your boundaries and communication - you are nother obliged to play with anyone who asks. Saying you'll get back to someone or simply saying no thanks is not rude and anyone who whinges is being an arse. Many couples have codewords or phrases to let the other know hell yes or hell no.
Socialise. Chat, make friends. It's not all going to be orgy. Chat to anyone who is pleasant and if they invite don't think that turning them down pleasantly will end all future communications. And just cos you don't fancy them bear in mind that it's a community and people talk. I've had people ask me what I thought of someone I was just talking to and I will say if I think they're arrogant or pushy or stared at my tits or if they are polite and pleasant or maybe new and a little nervous.
Don't stare at someone's bits in social areas. Talk to both halves of a couple or everyone in a group. Don't ask one half of a couple for permission to play with the other - if you only want to play with one ask if they play together or separately. Don't offer running commentary on people playing or talk loudly in play areas. Don't get too close when people are playing. Don't touch without permission. Don't try to get someone's attention if they're playing - if they want more company they'll look for it and invite. Don't go into invite only areas without an invitation. Don't go into couples only areas on your own without an invite.
Above all, don't drink more than one or two if you are thinking of playing. It gets messy and it's not attractive and you'll get a reputation.
If someone touches you or gets funny or pushy tell them calmly and clearly no. Don't shout, push or hit, just be firm and clear. Then tell staff and let them deal with it.
Clubs can be brilliant but they are all individual. So look around, try a few and remember it's supposed to be fun.
Single females are often treated as goddesses. We aren't, we are simply the most pursued minority. Abide by the same rules as everyone else - don't touch without permission. Personally I prefer nights with lots of single men to choose from but prepare to be firm and state definite yes or no. It may seem easier to go with a man bit this can have its own issues, be sure you are both agreeing to the same things. Don't go together on couples night if you intend to play as individuals. If you go with a someone who you don't know well can you be confidently will be comfortable with their behaviour? I've seen both men and women behave badly, it's not the norm but it happens. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've copied and slightly edited my reply to a couple who asked the same question recently:
There are dressed clubs and dressed down clubs - also sometimes called wet clubs. So check the information. You may be expected (eg Chameleons, Cupids) to go straight to the locker room and change into lingerie etc. Other clubs you remain fully dressed in in the social areas. Though there are often rules about men stripping down in play areas.
Read the club website and consider messaging them letting them know when you're coming so you can be sure to get all the info you need and answers to any questions. Read reviews on here, but like TripAdvisor use a bit of nous: complainers might have a valid point or they may have been kicked out for being a twat, praisers may have genuinely loved the place or they could be cronies. Mostly you can suss it out.
Go expecting a night out that's unlike your usual one but don't plan on play. In fact, possibly plan NOT to play so you can work out your boundaries and communication - you are nother obliged to play with anyone who asks. Saying you'll get back to someone or simply saying no thanks is not rude and anyone who whinges is being an arse. Many couples have codewords or phrases to let the other know hell yes or hell no.
Socialise. Chat, make friends. It's not all going to be orgy. Chat to anyone who is pleasant and if they invite don't think that turning them down pleasantly will end all future communications. And just cos you don't fancy them bear in mind that it's a community and people talk. I've had people ask me what I thought of someone I was just talking to and I will say if I think they're arrogant or pushy or stared at my tits or if they are polite and pleasant or maybe new and a little nervous.
Don't stare at someone's bits in social areas. Talk to both halves of a couple or everyone in a group. Don't ask one half of a couple for permission to play with the other - if you only want to play with one ask if they play together or separately. Don't offer running commentary on people playing or talk loudly in play areas. Don't get too close when people are playing. Don't touch without permission. Don't try to get someone's attention if they're playing - if they want more company they'll look for it and invite. Don't go into invite only areas without an invitation. Don't go into couples only areas on your own without an invite.
Above all, don't drink more than one or two if you are thinking of playing. It gets messy and it's not attractive and you'll get a reputation.
If someone touches you or gets funny or pushy tell them calmly and clearly no. Don't shout, push or hit, just be firm and clear. Then tell staff and let them deal with it.
Clubs can be brilliant but they are all individual. So look around, try a few and remember it's supposed to be fun.
Single females are often treated as goddesses. We aren't, we are simply the most pursued minority. Abide by the same rules as everyone else - don't touch without permission. Personally I prefer nights with lots of single men to choose from but prepare to be firm and state definite yes or no. It may seem easier to go with a man bit this can have its own issues, be sure you are both agreeing to the same things. Don't go together on couples night if you intend to play as individuals. If you go with a someone who you don't know well can you be confidently will be comfortable with their behaviour? I've seen both men and women behave badly, it's not the norm but it happens. "
Thanks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
