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EU don't leave or else
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.
Cheese will be illegal.
It will rain more.
The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.
Sex will be taxable.
There will be no more purple.
Lottery will cost £5 a go.
Newspapers will not feature telly listings.
Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.
Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.
Eggs will be sold in 7's.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I can see that this is meant to be a humorous tongue in cheek post even if everyone else can't OP 
Once again it's 'slate a (not one of the Forum elite) single guy' time on the forums .. Hashtag #GroundHogDay  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.
Cheese will be illegal.
It will rain more.
The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.
Sex will be taxable.
There will be no more purple.
Lottery will cost £5 a go.
Newspapers will not feature telly listings.
Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.
Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.
Eggs will be sold in 7's.
"
I've heard that if we stay in Europe, dogs will be banned - except for poodles. (Labradoodles will need a special license from Brussels) |
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"If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.
Cheese will be illegal.
It will rain more.
The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.
Sex will be taxable.
There will be no more purple.
Lottery will cost £5 a go.
Newspapers will not feature telly listings.
Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.
Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.
Eggs will be sold in 7's.
"
If we stay in the following will happen:
Kent will sink beneath the channel under the weight of dark skinned people
All hospitals will explode
Houses will cease to be built and existing houses must have one Syrian per capita
Nigel Farage will don a swastika and jackboots
All bananas will be useable as rulers
French will become compulsory in all chip shops
The saveloy will be classed as a cuisine of mass destruction
Deckchairs will all be owned by Deutsche Bahn Railways and only for use by Germans |
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"Je sauságe battuered un chipé.
A peas mushiê
My French is very very poor.
I agree with the other items but speaking French in a chip shop... Never!
"
500 million Turkish Immigrants will demand it. |
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"If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.
Cheese will be illegal.
It will rain more.
The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.
Sex will be taxable.
There will be no more purple.
Lottery will cost £5 a go.
Newspapers will not feature telly listings.
Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.
Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.
Eggs will be sold in 7's.
"
About as many accurate statements as I've seen in any other story to be fair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus Christ...
It's called humour.
In reply to scaremongering by mp's.
The humour has to go both ways. There just humorous jibes back. Don't take it to heart."
The jibes weren't humorous at first, luckily the thread soon got back on track |
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"If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.
Cheese will be illegal.
It will rain more.
The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.
Sex will be taxable.
There will be no more purple.
Lottery will cost £5 a go.
Newspapers will not feature telly listings.
Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.
Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.
Eggs will be sold in 7's.
"
You forgot the earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, plague, pestilence, floods, asteroid and comet strikes, WW3 (of course) and Martian invasion (oh sorry is that racist to Martians?) |
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Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.
So:
Membership fee will halve.
Immigration will halve.
We do EU free trade on even days.
We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.
It's a win-win.
I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks. |
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"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.
So:
Membership fee will halve.
Immigration will halve.
We do EU free trade on even days.
We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.
It's a win-win.
I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks."
Trade with Europe will also halve
Tariffs for exporting will double
Our rebate will halve
Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve
Farming subsidies will halve
The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve
Etc... |
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"If we leave, does that mean Britain's Got Talent will only have contestants from Britain only? I don't watch it often, but can't understand why there are people from other countries taking part. "
Because we are not isolationist knobs.
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"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.
So:
Membership fee will halve.
Immigration will halve.
We do EU free trade on even days.
We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.
It's a win-win.
I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.
Trade with Europe will also halve
Tariffs for exporting will double
Our rebate will halve
Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve
Farming subsidies will halve
The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve
Etc..."
It was a joke ..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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All the North sea fish will be European on weekdays but British at weekends.
Passports will change again, we'll be able to apply for new ones at a higher fee!
THERE WILL NOT BE A KING TONY BLAIR OF EUROPE... oh no. |
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"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.
So:
Membership fee will halve.
Immigration will halve.
We do EU free trade on even days.
We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.
It's a win-win.
I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.
Trade with Europe will also halve
Tariffs for exporting will double
Our rebate will halve
Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve
Farming subsidies will halve
The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve
Etc...
It was a joke ....."
So was mine, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thumbs up to those who appreciate the humour.
Thumbs down to the others who rip into anyone not in their clique.
Freedom of speech eh?"
i also found your post amusing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But does that mean we just have to check more eggs for cracks, or decide if potentially more than just one with the feather attached is o.k?"
anygivendave HELP
I have already voted by postal, what can I do, how can I reverse it
oh no, no no, what have I done
dave help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we leave, does that mean Britain's Got Talent will only have contestants from Britain only? I don't watch it often, but can't understand why there are people from other countries taking part. "
I think it should be called Opportunity Knocks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can always just bury your head in the sand and hope the votes go the way you want.
Witchcraft is another option...
Do you have a cat?"
dave I don't have a cat and this is serious, how can I stop my leave vote, I have 2 scary dogs and some tins of soup in cupboard
dave help |
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"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.
So:
Membership fee will halve.
Immigration will halve.
We do EU free trade on even days.
We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.
It's a win-win.
I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.
Trade with Europe will also halve
Tariffs for exporting will double
Our rebate will halve
Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve
Farming subsidies will halve
The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve
Etc...
It was a joke ....."
yes but there would be enough eggs to go round |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For those who have voted by post and want to change their vote...
Form an activist group with a catchy title or acronym.
People U Should've Said Stay.
Or P.U.S.S.Y for short.
Demand a new vote as your fear of straight bananas biased your choice. Dress up as a superhero and hang banners in public places.
Or don't... You might get arrested and imprisoned.
But... You could get that sentence overturned by the European court (if we stay).
Or go on Jeremy Kyle because you had an affair with your moms boyfriends cousins auntie for drug money and the lie detector said no.
Either way...
Too late...
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"You can always just bury your head in the sand and hope the votes go the way you want.
Witchcraft is another option...
Do you have a cat?"
There's probably an app for witches who don't own a cat.  |
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"If the public vote to leave the following things will happen.
Cheese will be illegal.
It will rain more.
The middle name "Gary" will be obligatory.
Sex will be taxable.
There will be no more purple.
Lottery will cost £5 a go.
Newspapers will not feature telly listings.
Vaginas and Penises will all be barcode tattooed.
Eastenders will be broadcast in Cornish with English subtitles.
Eggs will be sold in 7's.
You forgot the earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, plague, pestilence, floods, asteroid and comet strikes, WW3 (of course) and Martian invasion (oh sorry is that racist to Martians?) "
I think you're understating it, that's just what happens when we vote leave, when actually do leave the sun is predicted to go super nova and the whole solar system set to collapse in on it's self. I really, really, really don't think you fully realise the full implications of a BREXIT vote. |
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"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.
So:
Membership fee will halve.
Immigration will halve.
We do EU free trade on even days.
We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.
It's a win-win.
I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.
Trade with Europe will also halve
Tariffs for exporting will double
Our rebate will halve
Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve
Farming subsidies will halve
The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve
Etc...
It was a joke ....."
I don't think so. I'm sure you meant it. |
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"If leave win I'm going to miss my foreign friends 
The is always skype "
No, if leave wins there cutting all the cables between the UK and Europe. We don't want any of that Euro Trash here, not even their shity Euro digital trash. |
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"Maybe if the referendum goes to a 50:50 result, we can have a conciliation solution, and just be a member for even numbered days of the month.
So:
Membership fee will halve.
Immigration will halve.
We do EU free trade on even days.
We can do what we like on odd numbered days without interference.
It's a win-win.
I'll be taking nominations to be PM later, thanks.
Trade with Europe will also halve
Tariffs for exporting will double
Our rebate will halve
Financial support for poor areas of the country will halve
Farming subsidies will halve
The number of fish in the North Sea will more than halve
Etc...
It was a joke .....
I don't think so. I'm sure you meant it."
I do t even know what to believe anymore. I mean... I used to know what I was thinking but now I don't even know that!!!
Can that nice man Nigel come and tell me what to think?
Once he has finished sewing yellow stars onto the coats of immigrants, obviously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought it was good. Its called making light of the situation. I started a Farage mass debate earlier and it all got far too heavy."
Always thought Farage was a bit of a mass debater.....see what I did there? |
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