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Strawberry problems.....

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I need serious advice.....

My strawberries in my garden are ripening and ready to pick. I have, however just checked EU regulation 543/2011 which tells me they have to be at least 18mm in diameter and of even shape.

Some of them are smaller (one is only 11mm in diameter). Others are rather unevenly shaped.

My question is can I eat them? Or will I die, or be arrested and clapped in irons? Or should I just wait until Friday?

Please help!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Eat them while wearing a blindfold. Sorted

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As far as I see it you have 2 options.

Wait until it's dark

Pick the vile fruits

And dispose of then just as the search light passes

Jump of a cliff

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Strawberry moon today:officially strawberry season. Any non standard ones insert in a pussy and add yr own cream.

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By *arry247Couple over a year ago

Wakefield

"I need serious advice.....

My strawberries in my garden are ripening and ready to pick. I have, however just checked EU regulation 543/2011 which tells me they have to be at least 18mm in diameter and of even shape.

Some of them are smaller (one is only 11mm in diameter). Others are rather unevenly shaped.

My question is can I eat them? Or will I die, or be arrested and clapped in irons? Or should I just wait until Friday?

Please help!"

Dig them all back into the bed and claim set aside payment

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I need serious advice.....

My strawberries in my garden are ripening and ready to pick. I have, however just checked EU regulation 543/2011 which tells me they have to be at least 18mm in diameter and of even shape.

Some of them are smaller (one is only 11mm in diameter). Others are rather unevenly shaped.

My question is can I eat them? Or will I die, or be arrested and clapped in irons? Or should I just wait until Friday?

Please help!"

You will die AND be arrested and clapped in irons. Frankly you deserve no less.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get one of the rulers a lot of the single guys use on here - 11mm will become 22.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if you have a problem with them i will come round and do the job

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The EU Police have already been alerted to this threat by Quislings on this very forum.

They shall be along to confiscate the strawberries and put you up against the wall imminently.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/16 08:39:50]

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By *harliebluestockingsCouple over a year ago

london

You could wait till Friday and then perhaps EU regs will no longer apply and you can enjoy small funny shaped British strawbs in the rain

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ahh Genericberries and Creme , just as well Wimbledon starts soon

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I have never seen so many small/deformed strawberries as I have this year. An omen for the election?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

EAT them Now, whilst sticking your middle finger up to the EU, smile and enjoy the taiste

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By *odareyouMan over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Have you tried showing them pictures of boobs.... When I see those pictures certain parts of mehave been known to swell

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Get one of the rulers a lot of the single guys use on here - 11mm will become 22....."
hahha brilliant!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Be a devil just eat them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Be a devil just eat them

Agreed... we promise we wont snitch on you to the EU.

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

It's the first day of British summer time.. Just eat them

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By *iforfun999Man over a year ago

Haverfordwest

Are those the rules for picking strawberries to eat, because I'm sure there are different rules when they are grown for medicinal or therapeutic use.

Alternatively, reclassify the plant as a , type unknown and keep it under observation until you determine which it is. As you don't want the '' to self propagate, pick any plump, red seed pods whenever you like and 'dispose' of the evidence. Remember, it's not a strawberry, just looks like one.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple over a year ago

Bristol

"I need serious advice.....

My strawberries in my garden are ripening and ready to pick. I have, however just checked EU regulation 543/2011 which tells me they have to be at least 18mm in diameter and of even shape.

Some of them are smaller (one is only 11mm in diameter). Others are rather unevenly shaped.

My question is can I eat them? Or will I die, or be arrested and clapped in irons? Or should I just wait until Friday?

Please help!"

You must burn the crop and pay a massive fine.

Then go about blaming the nearest immigrant for your plight as they conspired to ensure that your strawberries were non-compliant.

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

Must be why Chilean rulers are so scarce

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They must be boxed up and sent to me for safe disposal. Chuck in a bottle of cream while you're at it please.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Get one of the rulers a lot of the single guys use on here - 11mm will become 22....."

hahahahahahahaha h god that tickled my funny bone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need serious advice.....

My strawberries in my garden are ripening and ready to pick. I have, however just checked EU regulation 543/2011 which tells me they have to be at least 18mm in diameter and of even shape.

Some of them are smaller (one is only 11mm in diameter). Others are rather unevenly shaped.

My question is can I eat them? Or will I die, or be arrested and clapped in irons? Or should I just wait until Friday?

Please help!"

Borrow my dog- she scoffed all ours!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need serious advice.....

My strawberries in my garden are ripening and ready to pick. I have, however just checked EU regulation 543/2011 which tells me they have to be at least 18mm in diameter and of even shape.

Some of them are smaller (one is only 11mm in diameter). Others are rather unevenly shaped.

My question is can I eat them? Or will I die, or be arrested and clapped in irons? Or should I just wait until Friday?

Please help!

Borrow my dog- she scoffed all ours!

I feel your pain

Bleedin mutt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You could just eat them and not tell anyone about them.....oops bit late for that

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