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THE OLDER CROWD

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication

You prescribed has to be taken

For the rest of my life?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition

because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.'

***********************

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia,

he asked to speak to his son 'Yes, Dad, what is it? ' 'Don't be nervous, son;

do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and

Live with you and your wife....'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aging:

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."

---------------------------------

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know you are getting old when

Everything either dries up or leaks.

-------------------------------

First you forget names,

Then you forget faces.

Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's worse when

You forget to pull it down.

---------------------------------

Two guys one old one young

Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart

When they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy,

'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,

And I guess I wasn't paying attention

To where I was going.

The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.

I'm looking for my wife, too...'

I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'

The old guy says, 'Well,

Maybe I can help you find her..

What does she look like?'

' The young guy says,

'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,

With red hair,

Blue eyes, is buxom wearing no bra,

Long legs,

And is wearing short shorts.

What does your wife look like?'

To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter,

--- let's look for yours.'

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A newly together elderly couple are laying in bed after making love for the first time. Whilst lying there the old man thinks to himself 'If i knew she was a virgin id have been more gentle with her' The old lady thinks 'My god, if i knew he could have got it up id have taken my tights off'

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"A newly together elderly couple are laying in bed after making love for the first time. Whilst lying there the old man thinks to himself 'If i knew she was a virgin id have been more gentle with her' The old lady thinks 'My god, if i knew he could have got it up id have taken my tights off' "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A newly together elderly couple are laying in bed after making love for the first time. Whilst lying there the old man thinks to himself 'If i knew she was a virgin id have been more gentle with her' The old lady thinks 'My god, if i knew he could have got it up id have taken my tights off' "

the same couple were having a 69 when the gent said

"it's such a shame about the titanic isn't it?"

"yes" she replied "but why mention it now?"

.

"it's on that bit of newspaper stuck to your arse"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

that couple are quite a frisky pair and getting more action than me! haha

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