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Substitute for toilet roll

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

Strick down with man flu last year I resorted to socks. Don't judge me!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Did u bin or wash the socks ?

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By *randMrs Spanish BrunetteCouple over a year ago

home sweet home

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

Kitchen roll

MrsSB

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By *umpleteazerWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

Kitchen roll?

Face wipes?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did u bin or wash the socks ?

They were nice socks lol they went in the washing pile.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would just have a shower

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wash with water!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

Kitchen roll

MrsSB

Good idea .... I have a few rolls.

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By *iscean MaleMan over a year ago

Darlaston

A shower?

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By *AURA6969TV/TS over a year ago

RUGBY

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

"
Haven't you got anyone near who could help out I'm sure you're not short of friends

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tissues, kitchen roll, followed by wipes!!

G x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

Haven't you got anyone near who could help out I'm sure you're not short of friends"

They are all at work or too far away.

I did consider offering a social coffee meet at mine on the understanding they bring me some Andrex

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did u bin or wash the socks ?

They were nice socks lol they went in the washing pile."

Hang on!? We aren't talking a runny nose here are we!? Oh shit! I didn't do that with socks!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

Kitchen roll

MrsSB

...cut in half then you have two rolls...especially when your month runs out before your money

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Cork?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Cork?

Don't have one .... My wine bottles are screw top

Also think the build up might be explosive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A flannel then dump it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A flannel then dump it

I would run out on flannels.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jump in the shower afterwards and use the power jet

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Jump in the shower afterwards and use the power jet

Could work well. My shower had 2 heads and 4 directing jets.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Jump in the shower afterwards and use the power jet

Could work well. My shower had 2 heads and 4 directing jets.

Just takes longer then, but still works. It also helps soothe the skin if you are a little bit sore in the area.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did u bin or wash the socks ?

They were nice socks lol they went in the washing pile.

Hang on!? We aren't talking a runny nose here are we!? Oh shit! I didn't do that with socks!!! "
There's that penny in the shit storm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just work out what wall would look nice brown then just wipe your arse all over it each time.

Work out what wall would look best pebble dashed then you just "aim fireeeeeeee"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A bidet

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A bidet"

Do many have bidets?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did u bin or wash the socks ?

They were nice socks lol they went in the washing pile.

Hang on!? We aren't talking a runny nose here are we!? Oh shit! I didn't do that with socks!!! There's that penny in the shit storm

Im not proud how long that took me to figure out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A bidet

Do many have bidets?"
.

They've died off a bit since the late 80s when they were quite vogue

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A bidet

Do many have bidets?.

They've died off a bit since the late 80s when they were quite vogue "

My ex mother in law used to have one. She used to wash her smalls in it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Carefully peel apart the sheets on your remaining toilet roll and boom - you have double the amount.

You're welcome.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Carefully peel apart the sheets on your remaining toilet roll and boom - you have double the amount.

You're welcome."

You may want to wear a marigold while wiping though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did u bin or wash the socks ?

They were nice socks lol they went in the washing pile.

Hang on!? We aren't talking a runny nose here are we!? Oh

shit! I didn't do that with socks!!! "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wash with water! "

If in India do as they do...its actually cleaner and a more hygienic method.....ass tease with the water jet too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wtf. Have I logged into the wrong site ??? Even fetishism sites avoid this subject. Please come back whinging single guys needing advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Wtf. Have I logged into the wrong site ??? Even fetishism sites avoid this subject. Please come back whinging single guys needing advice"

The clue was in the title

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Carefully peel apart the sheets on your remaining toilet roll and boom - you have double the amount.

You're welcome.

You may want to wear a marigold while wiping though."

This made me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Muslims just use water to ,they keep bottled water in their loos

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

omg im not far id bring you loo roll just so you didnt need to use a sock pmsl

gotta love the forums lol

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By *erdita Von TeaseWoman over a year ago

nottingham

Face wipes but don't make the mistake my friend made at work...thought it was his wife's face wipes but it was bathroom cleaning wipes...that's Horta sting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Careful with kitchen roll as it won't 'dissolve' like toilet tissue does and might block your plumbing!

Oh and supermarket home delivery? If it gets that bad ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Careful with kitchen roll as it won't 'dissolve' like toilet tissue does and might block your plumbing!

Oh and supermarket home delivery? If it gets that bad ...

I've just looked at the supermarkets. None have slots for today

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Daily Mail?

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

"Careful with kitchen roll as it won't 'dissolve' like toilet tissue does and might block your plumbing!

Oh and supermarket home delivery? If it gets that bad ...

Wet wipes don't flush either (not even the supposedly flushable ones). Just line a bin and do what they do on islands and in places with poor plumbing and bin rather than flush.

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

A picture of Boris Johnson....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

Just wash it, don't know why people use loo role anyway. If you put your hand in crap I doubt many people would just wipe it and say o that will do

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By *adyGardenWoman over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

I think you just answered your own question.

Also you can use kitchen roll and cotton pads. If that all goes the its time to dig out the old papers and magazines

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By *ippcoupe2Couple over a year ago

cahir/cashel

a box of "Bisto" browns , seasons and thickens........sorry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Curtains

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A shower?

yes this or kitchen roll

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By *omersetfun15Couple over a year ago

bridgwater

"A shower?

yes this or kitchen roll "

Try next doors cat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A shower?

yes this or kitchen roll

Try next doors cat "

pussy abuse that is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Carefully peel apart the sheets on your remaining toilet roll and boom - you have double the amount.

You're welcome."

Ah the old tight rope technique, called such because one slip and your in the shit

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By *arnayguyMan over a year ago

Durham Tees

Use a Labrador puppy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I popped out to sainsbury

Supplies reinstated

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By *oncupiscentTonyMan over a year ago

Kent

Just use £20 notes like everyone else does, if it's near the end of the month the slum it with a fiver

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

"Carefully peel apart the sheets on your remaining toilet roll and boom - you have double the amount.

You're welcome.

You may want to wear a marigold while wiping though."
just marigolds . Save the paper.. and the planet... an old sliced loaf

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Old defunct rabbits.. clear that bedside drawer out

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By *errygTV/TS over a year ago

denton

the sun newspaper, after you read the shit put more on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A bidee. Did anyone else have one of these back in the 70s? Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always keep stocked up on toilet paper,tea,sugar and milk. Everything else is not an emergency.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the cat.. lol

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By *om and JennieCouple over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

Kitchen roll

MrsSB

Good idea .... I have a few rolls. "

Just be careful with what you flush - kitchen roll thicker than loo roll so give a few extra flushes x

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By *umpkinMan over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

Think I`ve told this story on here before!

Boxing Day we`re sat down for tea when the door bell goes. One of the girls from next door - could they borrow a toilet roll? Apparently they`d run out of party hats! Knowing how colour fast the paper those party hats are made of, can you imagine all of those green, red, purple and blue arses! Like a bunch of psycadelic baboons!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did u bin or wash the socks ?

They were nice socks lol they went in the washing pile.

Hang on!? We aren't talking a runny nose here are we!? Oh shit! I didn't do that with socks!!! "

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By *o-jCouple over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

Just use both sides of whatever toilet paper you have left .

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

Just don't put your wet wipes down the loo, they don't dissolve and can lead to a blockage

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By *ullbackbuttMan over a year ago

Purton

"Some might find this funny. But .....

I'm sat at home not feeling great. Will leave the details to your imagination.

Anyway. I'm on my last loo roll. Can't go out to get any. ( might not make it or might get seen by fellow workers )

What would you use as a substitute?

Thankfully I have wet wipes and box of tissues

Haven't you got anyone near who could help out I'm sure you're not short of friends

They are all at work or too far away.

I did consider offering a social coffee meet at mine on the understanding they bring me some Andrex "

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

A football shirt, I think they are a good substitute for toilet roll.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I did manage to pop out so now fully stocked

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

"A football shirt, I think they are a good substitute for toilet roll."

It's a possibility , but a football shirt would not ever be within the boundaries of my property.

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

[Removed by poster at 14/06/16 20:33:56]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Kitchen roll, baby wipe, face wipe won't break down and you risk blocking your toilet.

Just to be captain sensible

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Kitchen roll, baby wipe, face wipe won't break down and you risk blocking your toilet.

Just to be captain sensible

I don't fancy that call to be land lady.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is a right shitty thread

Put up a meet. I'm sure it's some dirty fecker's kink

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Kitchen roll, baby wipe, face wipe won't break down and you risk blocking your toilet.

Just to be captain sensible

I don't fancy that call to be land lady.

Yeah and you'll find you'll be charged for unblocking lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This is a right shitty thread

Put up a meet. I'm sure it's some dirty fecker's kink

I've had a few requests lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Phone book

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is a right shitty thread

Put up a meet. I'm sure it's some dirty fecker's kink

I've had a few requests lol "

Reminds me of a Roy chubby brown song.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is a right shitty thread

Put up a meet. I'm sure it's some dirty fecker's kink

I've had a few requests lol "

Having just read your status. I hope this thread and it aren't related.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"This is a right shitty thread

Put up a meet. I'm sure it's some dirty fecker's kink

I've had a few requests lol

Having just read your status. I hope this thread and it aren't related.

Lol. No. Since I got home the rain hasn't stopped and the fire man are here pumping out

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By *abes in the woodWoman over a year ago

wales

Kitchen roll..or wet wipes andrex

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By *entaur_UKMan over a year ago

Cannock

The "Britain Stronger in" leaflets that keep coming through the door.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

"Kitchen roll, baby wipe, face wipe won't break down and you risk blocking your toilet.

Just to be captain sensible

Some neighbours had their outside drain blocked by wipes - it could have been very expensive. I agree that these things should not be flushed.

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