FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Would you want to know?
Would you want to know?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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With the spate of "scorned women" and "married men" threads on today's forum I'd like to find out if you were the cheated on partner/husband/wife, would you prefer to know or not? |
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"With the spate of "scorned women" and "married men" threads on today's forum I'd like to find out if you were the cheated on partner/husband/wife, would you prefer to know or not?"
Of course i'd want to know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With the spate of "scorned women" and "married men" threads on today's forum I'd like to find out if you were the cheated on partner/husband/wife, would you prefer to know or not?"
Yes. Definitely. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Yes I would, as it happened to me and all his mates knew and his mother even covered for him!
Now my favourite saying is 'I can make a big enough arse out of myself, without someone doing it for me'  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely yes
Why would anyone not want to know that their beloved is fucking another - whether is love or just sex - dishonesty is what breaks hearts not sex
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What is the actual situation? Am I a model wife who is loving, sexually well matched with my husband, willing to talk things over when things get difficult, is our relationship otherwise good with great communication? Was the infidelity a d*unken one off or a more serious "love" affair? Is my husband the same? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is the actual situation? Am I a model wife who is loving, sexually well matched with my husband, willing to talk things over when things get difficult, is our relationship otherwise good with great communication? Was the infidelity a d*unken one off or a more serious "love" affair? Is my husband the same?"
You're just you and if you'd like to know or not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, i had an idea in 2 relationships that i was being cheated on and i wanted to know so i could stop investing my time and emotions into them.
I found out everything. Was upset both times but it helped me make my own choices about each relationship.
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"What is the actual situation? Am I a model wife who is loving, sexually well matched with my husband, willing to talk things over when things get difficult, is our relationship otherwise good with great communication? Was the infidelity a d*unken one off or a more serious "love" affair? Is my husband the same?
You're just you and if you'd like to know or not? "
Ok well being just me I don't know because it would depend on so many things but overall if he couldn't or wouldn't tell me himself I wouldn't want anybody else to. I trust Mr N 100% anyway so the situation is always going to be hypothetical. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I would know without anyone telling me. When its happened to me, I have known. But I wouldn't want the other 'innocent' party to tell me. "
I had my suspicions and asked out right quite a few times, but when his own mother was giving him alibis all the time it wasn't all that easy  |
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"I would know without anyone telling me. When its happened to me, I have known. But I wouldn't want the other 'innocent' party to tell me.
I had my suspicions and asked out right quite a few times, but when his own mother was giving him alibis all the time it wasn't all that easy "
That's a very difficult situation to be in, I know from experience.  |
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"With the spate of "scorned women" and "married men" threads on today's forum I'd like to find out if you were the cheated on partner/husband/wife, would you prefer to know or not?"
Wouldn't bother me. Might make things simpler |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, many years ago my Mum was suspicious of an ex, it took her spelling it out to me, for me to confront him and find out the truth. I'd rather he'd have just split with me instead of making me feel like a prat. Isn't it better to know and make an informed choice as to the future.
Sarah |
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Yes I would want to know because there is no worse feeling that knowing you are the last one to know anything about the person you thought you knew everything about, plus I hate to feel like I have been made a fool if, it's a terribly painful feeling but I would still want to know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I would want to know because there is no worse feeling that knowing you are the last one to know anything about the person you thought you knew everything about, plus I hate to feel like I have been made a fool if, it's a terribly painful feeling but I would still want to know "
.
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definately i stayed with my husband 2 years longer than i needed to because i felt i should try harder before i left then found out he had had an affair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't want to know... I'll let sleeping dogs, sleep.
Btw I was cheated on once and it was the first time I've ever felt inferior to another human. It really destroyed my ego. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't want a stranger to tell me. I'd like to think i would realise, certainly I've sussed 2 partners long before I finally tackled them.
I wouldn't want to know about a d*unken one night stand, that's very different to an affair. Which isn't to condone it but I'd rather they worked through the guilt than destroy a relationship |
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"With the spate of "scorned women" and "married men" threads on today's forum I'd like to find out if you were the cheated on partner/husband/wife, would you prefer to know or not?"
I was cheated on by my first husband 10 years ago & found out when he left. I recently discovered that my current partner (who i swing with) cheated on me once before Christmas, if i hadn't discovered it myself & one of my friends knew and didn't tell me then I'd be pretty pissed off....
Seems i have a pattern of attracting cheaters which is kind of odd as both men are completely different characters...
LMN |
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"Absolutely yes
Why would anyone not want to know that their beloved is fucking another - whether is love or just sex - dishonesty is what breaks hearts not sex
"
Exactly, my partner i swing with (i recently discovered) recently had a liason with a facebook friend. The sex with a none swinger bothered me more than if he'd had a liason with a fab female.... Does that make sense?
LMN |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely yes
Why would anyone not want to know that their beloved is fucking another - whether is love or just sex - dishonesty is what breaks hearts not sex
Exactly, my partner i swing with (i recently discovered) recently had a liason with a facebook friend. The sex with a none swinger bothered me more than if he'd had a liason with a fab female.... Does that make sense?
LMN"
So does
I don't expect anything from my wingman but honesty & I get that from him ....even if I don't like what I hear I respect him for it & it works both ways |
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For me cheating wouldn't necessarily be sex. I know that both myself and my OH can fuck someone without knowing or caring about them ... getting close to someone else is different. If my OH did that, I would also look at my sort in that and what was going on in our relationship |
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"For me cheating wouldn't necessarily be sex. I know that both myself and my OH can fuck someone without knowing or caring about them ... getting close to someone else is different. If my OH did that, I would also look at my sort in that and what was going on in our relationship"
I'm inclined to agree with you. Sex is just sex it means nothing in many cases but emotional infidelity would be a deal breaker for me because it would mean that there was something fundamentally wrong in our relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't want a stranger to tell me. I'd like to think i would realise, certainly I've sussed 2 partners long before I finally tackled them.
I wouldn't want to know about a d*unken one night stand, that's very different to an affair. Which isn't to condone it but I'd rather they worked through the guilt than destroy a relationship"
An affair doesn't necessary signify the end of the relationship, if it's worth saving it can be the catalyst that helps it survive. |
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"I wouldn't want a stranger to tell me. I'd like to think i would realise, certainly I've sussed 2 partners long before I finally tackled them.
I wouldn't want to know about a d*unken one night stand, that's very different to an affair. Which isn't to condone it but I'd rather they worked through the guilt than destroy a relationship
An affair doesn't necessary signify the end of the relationship, if it's worth saving it can be the catalyst that helps it survive."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"probably, wouldn't you feel a bit stupid if you never suspected or knew?
when you did find out if you ever did."
More than a bit stupid. Remember that song? 'Always the last to know'. Of course with hindsight it's obvious. All the tell tale signs were there. I wish I'd challenged her but without solid proof and in the face of her denial I would have felt..........stupid!!! Oh, the irony   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't want a stranger to tell me. I'd like to think i would realise, certainly I've sussed 2 partners long before I finally tackled them.
I wouldn't want to know about a d*unken one night stand, that's very different to an affair. Which isn't to condone it but I'd rather they worked through the guilt than destroy a relationship
An affair doesn't necessary signify the end of the relationship, if it's worth saving it can be the catalyst that helps it survive."
I tried that but once the trust has gone......... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't want a stranger to tell me. I'd like to think i would realise, certainly I've sussed 2 partners long before I finally tackled them.
I wouldn't want to know about a d*unken one night stand, that's very different to an affair. Which isn't to condone it but I'd rather they worked through the guilt than destroy a relationship
An affair doesn't necessary signify the end of the relationship, if it's worth saving it can be the catalyst that helps it survive."
Sadly most don't share this view. They see it as very black and white. I'd like to think (in fact, i know) my relationship is worth the grey area thinking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't want a stranger to tell me. I'd like to think i would realise, certainly I've sussed 2 partners long before I finally tackled them.
I wouldn't want to know about a d*unken one night stand, that's very different to an affair. Which isn't to condone it but I'd rather they worked through the guilt than destroy a relationship
An affair doesn't necessary signify the end of the relationship, if it's worth saving it can be the catalyst that helps it survive.
Sadly most don't share this view. They see it as very black and white. I'd like to think (in fact, i know) my relationship is worth the grey area thinking."
I guess like most things in life it comes from experience.
I'm a big believer in the grey area, life is not black / white & tbh I'm not sure I'd want it to be all the time. |
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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Yes...I'd want to know.
To my knowledge I've only ever been cheated on once and my step-daughter was the one who told me about it. It was a very brave thing for her to do and I owe her a great deal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So we all pretty much want to know...BUT...would you let your partner know that you know?
I wouldn't."
As the great Kursaal Flyers once said;
"Little does she know that I know that she knows
That I know she''s two-timin'' me"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a cuck scenario yes.....Im the scenario where the woman his having an emotional and physical fair, No! its heartbreaking and can cause a lot of stress for the victim. |
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