FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The other man or woman.... when the shit hits the fan.
The other man or woman.... when the shit hits the fan.
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts " The first one was as much cheating on me as cheating on her.. and yes it hurt. The second one was a married man on fab. I knew he couldn't accommodate but it was a fab meet not an affair | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts " It's the cheater's fault not hers. | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts It's the cheater's fault not hers." There's no mileage in that  | |||
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"I now make it absolutely clear I only meet single people. Unfortunately that doesn't stop liars." Yep agree completely. Just be honest and let people make a choice knowing the full facts. | |||
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"A women I met told me that a guy she met for a social turned up at hers with his wife cause she had found out about the meet through his kik messages, she was threatened with assault and having her house trashed cause the guy had told his wife he was seduced, they hadn't even had sex and the messages on kik proved this, from what she's said it sounded like the guy was making it out to be her fault and he was the innocent victim in it all, he arranged to meet her! "I never understand why people invite strangers to their homes. | |||
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"A women I met told me that a guy she met for a social turned up at hers with his wife cause she had found out about the meet through his kik messages, she was threatened with assault and having her house trashed cause the guy had told his wife he was seduced, they hadn't even had sex and the messages on kik proved this, from what she's said it sounded like the guy was making it out to be her fault and he was the innocent victim in it all, he arranged to meet her!
I never understand why people invite strangers to their homes. "Agree, my Mrs done it once a couple of weeks back while I was out, turned out to be a successful meet but she suspects the guy is attached, needless to say she has cut all ties with him now, my profile is pretty open so others can make informed choices, my wife has her own profile and we also have a couples profile too. Couldn't be more transparent really. | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts It's the cheater's fault not hers. There's no mileage in that " | |||
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"A women I met told me that a guy she met for a social turned up at hers with his wife cause she had found out about the meet through his kik messages, she was threatened with assault and having her house trashed cause the guy had told his wife he was seduced, they hadn't even had sex and the messages on kik proved this, from what she's said it sounded like the guy was making it out to be her fault and he was the innocent victim in it all, he arranged to meet her! "That's horrific.....a quick call to the police I think. | |||
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"The second one was a married man on fab. I knew he couldn't accommodate but it was a fab meet not an affair " You make your choices and have to live with the consequences. Zero sympathy and really fail to see why you are trying to justify that it was a one off and not an affair | |||
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"A women I met told me that a guy she met for a social turned up at hers with his wife cause she had found out about the meet through his kik messages, she was threatened with assault and having her house trashed cause the guy had told his wife he was seduced, they hadn't even had sex and the messages on kik proved this, from what she's said it sounded like the guy was making it out to be her fault and he was the innocent victim in it all, he arranged to meet her! "Oh poor man  | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts " Thats a bit harsh, she says she didn't know he had a wife/gf | |||
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"I now make it absolutely clear I only meet single people. Unfortunately that doesn't stop liars." Ditto! | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts Thats a bit harsh, she says she didn't know he had a wife/gf" The second one she did. And willingly invited him in to her home for sex. I'm not judging for that but she's hardly an innocent victim | |||
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"I've had pregnant gf turn up at my work and shout and bawl in the street at me..... I didn't know the man I had been seeing wasn't single. Another time I did know he wasn't single but it was just a straight forward nsa fab meet and his wife appeared at my door because of the post code in the sat nav..... I got yelled at and I had to threaten her with the police. It took days to find or who she was. What's the worst that's happened to u when a partner found out about u and their partner." I prefer people that are in relationships because it's easier to get away from them if/and/or when they turn odd about the situation by getting too "attached". That's my biggest hassle - people getting too clingy over a bit of adult fun. | |||
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"Maybe pick chaps who have a modicum of sense about them if you're meeting attached ones. " The downfall is always the idiot!! | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts " agreed | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. " So you broke up his family because you were naïve? | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve? "Me? What a stupid thing to say. He made his bed, he lies in it. As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care. I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away. If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve? "You don't think his wife deserved to know? | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was."Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him? However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions | |||
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"A women I met told me that a guy she met for a social turned up at hers with his wife cause she had found out about the meet through his kik messages, she was threatened with assault and having her house trashed cause the guy had told his wife he was seduced, they hadn't even had sex and the messages on kik proved this, from what she's said it sounded like the guy was making it out to be her fault and he was the innocent victim in it all, he arranged to meet her!
Oh poor man "Yes, strange how they always re-write history when they've been caught with their pants down!! | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions "And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship. But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust. | |||
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"Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him? However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions " Definitely a nasty and vindictive act, however she is right that he brought it upon himself. My wife and kids mean too much to me to risk them on some fuck. You can only get caught doing something if you're actually doing it. I don't cheat so I won't get caught cheating. | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts Thats a bit harsh, she says she didn't know he had a wife/gf The second one she did. And willingly invited him in to her home for sex. I'm not judging for that but she's hardly an innocent victim " I'm not judging but..mmmmmm that will be a judgement then 
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"A women I met told me that a guy she met for a social turned up at hers with his wife cause she had found out about the meet through his kik messages, she was threatened with assault and having her house trashed cause the guy had told his wife he was seduced, they hadn't even had sex and the messages on kik proved this, from what she's said it sounded like the guy was making it out to be her fault and he was the innocent victim in it all, he arranged to meet her!
Oh poor man
Yes, strange how they always re-write history when they've been caught with their pants down!! "Yeah fucking idiot | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust. "You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up. I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
You don't think his wife deserved to know? "I suspect she already knew. How could a man with a family go on holiday with another woman without his wife/partner suspecting something. | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts Thats a bit harsh, she says she didn't know he had a wife/gf The second one she did. And willingly invited him in to her home for sex. I'm not judging for that but she's hardly an innocent victim I'm not judging but..mmmmmm that will be a judgement then
"If you want to fuck married men I'm nit judging you. If you are going to try and be the victim when their wife catches up with you then I am totally Judith you. Does that make it clearer? | |||
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"Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him? However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions Definitely a nasty and vindictive act, however she is right that he brought it upon himself. My wife and kids mean too much to me to risk them on some fuck. You can only get caught doing something if you're actually doing it. I don't cheat so I won't get caught cheating." 
'some fuck'...
If I was 'some fuck' and had just shagged him once, no way I would have told her, not my business. I would have berated him and blocked him.
I was cheated on too, as far as I was concerned WE were an item. It's clear that none of you have ever experienced a situation quite like this before (I mean, how many people seriously have double lives?!) so you can stop being so judgemental. When it happens to you, hit me up for some support. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
You don't think his wife deserved to know?
I suspect she already knew. How could a man with a family go on holiday with another woman without his wife/partner suspecting something."Suspecting is one thing. Women with kids will put up with more for the sake of the kids | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart"I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.  | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts Thats a bit harsh, she says she didn't know he had a wife/gf The second one she did. And willingly invited him in to her home for sex. I'm not judging for that but she's hardly an innocent victim I'm not judging but..mmmmmm that will be a judgement then
If you want to fuck married men I'm nit judging you.
If you are going to try and be the victim when their wife catches up with you then I am totally Judith you.
Does that make it clearer? "At no point have I played victim. I asked for other people's experiences. Does that make it clearer for you? Anyone who says im not judging but.... is judging. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again. "You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children? I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children. Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future.. You failed to do that. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
You don't think his wife deserved to know?
I suspect she already knew. How could a man with a family go on holiday with another woman without his wife/partner suspecting something."You would be surprised how much some people get away with. A woman I know was in a relationship with a man for years who said he was in the army. He had camouflage gear and kit and went off for months at a time. What she didn't know was he wasn't in the army and had a family elsewhere. | |||
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"I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking to hear other people's experiences. I made the choice to meet.... he made the choice to cheat. Only one person cheated in that meet and it wasn't me. I think women by and large blame the other woman and become focused on her. Men don't focus as much on the other party (at least this is my experience)" you made the choice to meet a cheat, putting yourself in the line of fire.. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that."And you've made the assumption that my actions affected the lives of his kids...who, by the way, have nothing to do with me. As far as i'm aware, they're all still living their 'happy families' lie of a life. As I said, until you've been in the situation, don't judge, don't cast stones. | |||
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"I've been the other woman for years. I'm as much in the wrong as he is. However I would never out him. The heart wants what it wants. I get my heart broken every time he leaves me to go home to her. He and I deserve that pain. She doesn't. " You went into the relationship knowing he was married. You took the chance with all the details. When someone lies to another person about being single they don't have that choice. People are always going on about honesty on here. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. " What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! | |||
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"My husband told me he was having an affair with a family friend. He wasn't ashamed and thought I deserved it because he said I was cheating,although I wasn't. His gf apologised over a text and said she loved him. After a while I gave him the option of her or me,he chose me. I was civil to his other woman,my friend,and didn't go to hers to cause trouble with her husband. I still talk to her if I see her and don't hold a grudge; my marriage was a sham from the beginning,which I wasn't aware of. It's made me wary of having another relationship but I don't blame the other woman entirely. " Very civil & well handled ...well done X | |||
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" I think women by and large blame the other woman and become focused on her. Men don't focus as much on the other party (at least this is my experience)" I agree. I also think that people with low self esteem are more likely to lash out at the other person than their cheating partner. However when I read "I had no idea until..." then my first thought is that 'you probably aren't the best judge of character then'. I think about 1% the population are able to lie so convincingly and consistenly that you'd genuinely have no clue. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again. "Totally agree with you. I'd want to know if my partner of 10 years had been with someone else for 4 of them | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts Thats a bit harsh, she says she didn't know he had a wife/gf The second one she did. And willingly invited him in to her home for sex. I'm not judging for that but she's hardly an innocent victim I'm not judging but..mmmmmm that will be a judgement then
If you want to fuck married men I'm nit judging you.
If you are going to try and be the victim when their wife catches up with you then I am totally Judith you.
Does that make it clearer?
At no point have I played victim. I asked for other people's experiences. Does that make it clearer for you?
Anyone who says im not judging but.... is judging.
"I think this comment xomes across as playing the victm "I made the choice to meet.... he made the choice to cheat. Only one person cheated in that meet and it wasn't me." You knowingly met a married man and then feel aggrieved that his wife turned up on your doorstep justufib is as #only NSA not an affair" and thenimpy that it's in no way your fault. | |||
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"Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him? However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions Definitely a nasty and vindictive act, however she is right that he brought it upon himself. My wife and kids mean too much to me to risk them on some fuck. You can only get caught doing something if you're actually doing it. I don't cheat so I won't get caught cheating.
'some fuck'...
If I was 'some fuck' and had just shagged him once, no way I would have told her, not my business. I would have berated him and blocked him.
I was cheated on too, as far as I was concerned WE were an item. It's clear that none of you have ever experienced a situation quite like this before (I mean, how many people seriously have double lives?!) so you can stop being so judgemental. When it happens to you, hit me up for some support. "Double life victim here too. No one can know unless you have lived it. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust. "Yes she did have EVERY right to know but from her partner not from a 3rd party. You assumed she'd want to know because that's what you'd want, not everyone wants to know as it forces their hand to deal with a situation they might have been burying. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! " What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
Yes she did have EVERY right to know but from her partner not from a 3rd party.
You assumed she'd want to know because that's what you'd want, not everyone wants to know as it forces their hand to deal with a situation they might have been burying.
"I've had enough of justifying myself to you people who have no clue, as I don't need to. And you need to stop being so judgemental when you really have no idea what it's like. | |||
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"Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him? However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions Definitely a nasty and vindictive act, however she is right that he brought it upon himself. My wife and kids mean too much to me to risk them on some fuck. You can only get caught doing something if you're actually doing it. I don't cheat so I won't get caught cheating.
'some fuck'...
If I was 'some fuck' and had just shagged him once, no way I would have told her, not my business. I would have berated him and blocked him.
I was cheated on too, as far as I was concerned WE were an item. It's clear that none of you have ever experienced a situation quite like this before (I mean, how many people seriously have double lives?!) so you can stop being so judgemental. When it happens to you, hit me up for some support.
Double life victim here too. No one can know unless you have lived it. "You're not wrong Hun x | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife." A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife." Well said | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
Yes she did have EVERY right to know but from her partner not from a 3rd party.
You assumed she'd want to know because that's what you'd want, not everyone wants to know as it forces their hand to deal with a situation they might have been burying.
I've had enough of justifying myself to you people who have no clue, as I don't need to. And you need to stop being so judgemental when you really have no idea what it's like. "I'm not asking you to justify yourself, you did that all on your own with your earlier comments, I'm merely expressing my opinion which differs from yours. It's always good to hear another point of view, helps to balance out an discussion & we can always learn from others. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that.
And you've made the assumption that my actions affected the lives of his kids...who, by the way, have nothing to do with me.
As far as i'm aware, they're all still living their 'happy families' lie of a life.
As I said, until you've been in the situation, don't judge, don't cast stones. "This last comment interested me. Why assume, just because he has had an affair that the life they are now living is a lie? Its more likely to be the most honest its ever been. I would say, from experience, that once one partner has an affair and the other finds out, this triggers a make or break discussion in a relationship where everything about the said relationship can get out into the open and a frank discussion can be had. Love conquers all and many relationships, those that survive, are stronger after an affair, if the two who decide to stick together can work it out. Often there are issues on both sides of the relationship that neither has confronted and this is the catalyst (albeit a harsh one) that can make these things happen. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop." You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that.
And you've made the assumption that my actions affected the lives of his kids...who, by the way, have nothing to do with me.
As far as i'm aware, they're all still living their 'happy families' lie of a life.
As I said, until you've been in the situation, don't judge, don't cast stones.
This last comment interested me. Why assume, just because he has had an affair that the life they are now living is a lie? Its more likely to be the most honest its ever been. I would say, from experience, that once one partner has an affair and the other finds out, this triggers a make or break discussion in a relationship where everything about the said relationship can get out into the open and a frank discussion can be had. Love conquers all and many relationships, those that survive, are stronger after an affair, if the two who decide to stick together can work it out. Often there are issues on both sides of the relationship that neither has confronted and this is the catalyst (albeit a harsh one) that can make these things happen."And good for them if it has, but I'd be surprised. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
You don't think his wife deserved to know? "she said other gf not his wife | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation." Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that.
And you've made the assumption that my actions affected the lives of his kids...who, by the way, have nothing to do with me.
As far as i'm aware, they're all still living their 'happy families' lie of a life.
As I said, until you've been in the situation, don't judge, don't cast stones.
This last comment interested me. Why assume, just because he has had an affair that the life they are now living is a lie? Its more likely to be the most honest its ever been. I would say, from experience, that once one partner has an affair and the other finds out, this triggers a make or break discussion in a relationship where everything about the said relationship can get out into the open and a frank discussion can be had. Love conquers all and many relationships, those that survive, are stronger after an affair, if the two who decide to stick together can work it out. Often there are issues on both sides of the relationship that neither has confronted and this is the catalyst (albeit a harsh one) that can make these things happen."I totally agree, well said | |||
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"You kinda got what you deserve. My experience was finding out my oh was cheating. It fuckin hurts Thats a bit harsh, she says she didn't know he had a wife/gf The second one she did. And willingly invited him in to her home for sex. I'm not judging for that but she's hardly an innocent victim I'm not judging but..mmmmmm that will be a judgement then
If you want to fuck married men I'm nit judging you.
If you are going to try and be the victim when their wife catches up with you then I am totally Judith you.
Does that make it clearer?
At no point have I played victim. I asked for other people's experiences. Does that make it clearer for you?
Anyone who says im not judging but.... is judging.
I think this comment xomes across as playing the victm
I made the choice to meet.... he made the choice to cheat. Only one person cheated in that meet and it wasn't me.
You knowingly met a married man and then feel aggrieved that his wife turned up on your doorstep justufib is as #only NSA not an affair" and thenimpy that it's in no way your fault.
"U assumed that that comment was me playing the victim... I'm not. It was a statement of fact. I cheated on no one. I am single. A single person cannot cheat. He was in a relationship. He cheated on her. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that."I've never been in this situation but I couldn't disagree with you more! The man in question was clearly a cold, using, calculating bastard - lying to not one but BOTH women he professed to love! He absolutely deserved to be caught out - and the mother of his children deserved far better than a scumbag like that! Staying with a shit 'for the sake of the children' is bullshit! Every good, decent human being deserves a shot at happiness with another good, decent human being! The guy was obviously a habitual cheat and would have kept on doing so! | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. " I think you're missing the point completely = The man had an actually family with kids so you didn't actually "be the messenger". You didn't have to interfer in the childrens lives. You could have walked away quietly instead of putting the children at risk being brought up in another broken home by two seperated parents. You are the one that learned the lesson in the situation so you didn't have to corrupt the lives of his children by putting them at risk of their family breaking down | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow." Lol. Says the person with a post full of judgements | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. " I don't think that anyone can judge the situation until you've actually been in it. Every persons response to any similar situation will react differently due to us all being different & having different views on the world we live in One persons way of dealing with issues will be different to another - we all have opinions yes but no one is right or wrong! What was wrong, was the married man for not letting you know he was married - if he did, you could have choose to do what you saw fit right from the start - that's what should have happened! | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. Lol. Says the person with a post full of judgements "Oh jeez you AGAIN
I don't judge any of the ladies on here who were lied to by cheating men. That OK with you? | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow." There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. | |||
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"Why should she be thinking of HIS children??? It's not her place that's the job of their father. " Exactly. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. I think you're missing the point completely = The man had an actually family with kids so you didn't actually "be the messenger". You didn't have to interfer in the childrens lives. You could have walked away quietly instead of putting the children at risk being brought up in another broken home by two seperated parents. You are the one that learned the lesson in the situation so you didn't have to corrupt the lives of his children by putting them at risk of their family breaking down" See that's the sort of thing that really gets to me. People assume that kids are better off living with two parents who have a failing relationship than living with one and both parents finding happiness. I split with my children's father almost 6 years ago and my home is far from "broken", in fact it's more fixed than it ever was. | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. Lol. Says the person with a post full of judgements
Oh jeez you AGAIN
I don't judge any of the ladies on here who were lied to by cheating men. That OK with you? "Yes lil ole me 
That statement has passed the Mrs N gold standard of acceptability, you may proceed with no further fear of hindrance from moi. | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned." Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that.
I've never been in this situation but I couldn't disagree with you more!
The man in question was clearly a cold, using, calculating bastard - lying to not one but BOTH women he professed to love! He absolutely deserved to be caught out - and the mother of his children deserved far better than a scumbag like that! Staying with a shit 'for the sake of the children' is bullshit!
Every good, decent human being deserves a shot at happiness with another good, decent human being!
The guy was obviously a habitual cheat and would have kept on doing so! "Really peachy!!!.. | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. Lol. Says the person with a post full of judgements
Oh jeez you AGAIN
I don't judge any of the ladies on here who were lied to by cheating men. That OK with you?
Yes lil ole me
That statement has passed the Mrs N gold standard of acceptability, you may proceed with no further fear of hindrance from moi. "Why thank you kindly. We'll just have to agree to disagree | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned." Would you want to be living with a wife who was having a relationship behind your back? What if you found out yourself? | |||
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"I've had pregnant gf turn up at my work and shout and bawl in the street at me..... I didn't know the man I had been seeing wasn't single. Another time I did know he wasn't single but it was just a straight forward nsa fab meet and his wife appeared at my door because of the post code in the sat nav..... I got yelled at and I had to threaten her with the police. It took days to find or who she was. What's the worst that's happened to u when a partner found out about u and their partner." I've had the '3 am tearful phone call' before. He'd told me a false name,,told me he was single,,,me and the Girlfriend ended up chatting for hours about what a b*****d he was. Another time,I found out the guy I had been seeing for months (proclaimed undying love to all our friends,,on the verge of getting engaged)) had a wife (been married for over 30 years)and son.This time it was me that blew up,,,at him.All those so called friends are still his friends and not my friends.No loss to me as far as I'm concerned. | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. Lol. Says the person with a post full of judgements
Oh jeez you AGAIN
I don't judge any of the ladies on here who were lied to by cheating men. That OK with you?
Yes lil ole me
That statement has passed the Mrs N gold standard of acceptability, you may proceed with no further fear of hindrance from moi.
Why thank you kindly. We'll just have to agree to disagree "I think we're both grown up enough to do that...a rare and beautiful thing | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. I think you're missing the point completely = The man had an actually family with kids so you didn't actually "be the messenger". You didn't have to interfer in the childrens lives. You could have walked away quietly instead of putting the children at risk being brought up in another broken home by two seperated parents. You are the one that learned the lesson in the situation so you didn't have to corrupt the lives of his children by putting them at risk of their family breaking down See that's the sort of thing that really gets to me. People assume that kids are better off living with two parents who have a failing relationship than living with one and both parents finding happiness. I split with my children's father almost 6 years ago and my home is far from "broken", in fact it's more fixed than it ever was. " In thus case there's no indication that their family was "failing". She said herself that the family are still together - that indicates a very strong family. | |||
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"Maybe pick chaps who have a modicum of sense about them if you're meeting attached ones. " | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Would you want to be living with a wife who was having a relationship behind your back? What if you found out yourself? " What I want from life is irrelevant in this discussion. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. I think you're missing the point completely = The man had an actually family with kids so you didn't actually "be the messenger". You didn't have to interfer in the childrens lives. You could have walked away quietly instead of putting the children at risk being brought up in another broken home by two seperated parents. You are the one that learned the lesson in the situation so you didn't have to corrupt the lives of his children by putting them at risk of their family breaking down" I didn't tell his children. If they chose to be bad parents and let the truth I provided affect their children that's their problem. You can stop attacking me now. | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! " By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. I think you're missing the point completely = The man had an actually family with kids so you didn't actually "be the messenger". You didn't have to interfer in the childrens lives. You could have walked away quietly instead of putting the children at risk being brought up in another broken home by two seperated parents. You are the one that learned the lesson in the situation so you didn't have to corrupt the lives of his children by putting them at risk of their family breaking down See that's the sort of thing that really gets to me. People assume that kids are better off living with two parents who have a failing relationship than living with one and both parents finding happiness. I split with my children's father almost 6 years ago and my home is far from "broken", in fact it's more fixed than it ever was. In thus case there's no indication that their family was "failing". She said herself that the family are still together - that indicates a very strong family." No I didn't. I don't know. I said they are probably still living a lie. But I don't know because I haven't seen or spoken to them.
You love twisting things don't you. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. I think you're missing the point completely = The man had an actually family with kids so you didn't actually "be the messenger". You didn't have to interfer in the childrens lives. You could have walked away quietly instead of putting the children at risk being brought up in another broken home by two seperated parents. You are the one that learned the lesson in the situation so you didn't have to corrupt the lives of his children by putting them at risk of their family breaking down I didn't tell his children. If they chose to be bad parents and let the truth I provided affect their children that's their problem. You can stop attacking me now. " You are honestly not being attacked! This is a public forum - you made the decision to reveal your actions for us to discuss | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow." Just because someone's opinion differs does not make them judgemental ~ however, how they deliver that opinion can....... Overall it's been a pretty balanced thread, imo. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife." It amuses me that people are sticking up for the guy. It's entirely HIS fault. Not hers. | |||
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" I didn't tell his children. If they chose to be bad parents and let the truth I provided affect their children that's their problem. You can stop attacking me now. " That actually is a very valid point. In an ideal world the truth would have been out there from the start how and when it was discovered is largely irrelevant but how it was dealt with is hugely relevant to the outcome for the kids. | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful" Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. It amuses me that people are sticking up for the guy. It's entirely HIS fault. Not hers. " Indeed. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that.
I've never been in this situation but I couldn't disagree with you more!
The man in question was clearly a cold, using, calculating bastard - lying to not one but BOTH women he professed to love! He absolutely deserved to be caught out - and the mother of his children deserved far better than a scumbag like that! Staying with a shit 'for the sake of the children' is bullshit!
Every good, decent human being deserves a shot at happiness with another good, decent human being!
The guy was obviously a habitual cheat and would have kept on doing so! " You said it so much better than I did!!! | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. I think you're missing the point completely = The man had an actually family with kids so you didn't actually "be the messenger". You didn't have to interfer in the childrens lives. You could have walked away quietly instead of putting the children at risk being brought up in another broken home by two seperated parents. You are the one that learned the lesson in the situation so you didn't have to corrupt the lives of his children by putting them at risk of their family breaking down I didn't tell his children. If they chose to be bad parents and let the truth I provided affect their children that's their problem. You can stop attacking me now. You are honestly not being attacked! This is a public forum - you made the decision to reveal your actions for us to discuss" Oh alright. Carry on then. | |||
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"She wouldn't have anything to tell if HE hadn't had cheated. She wouldn't have any kids to worry about if HE hadn't of cheated. She wouldn't have to worry about breaking up a family if HE hadn't had cheated. See what I'm getting at??? Lol HE Made his choices HE put his kids at risk no one else HE. " | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that."What a typical male response!!! Honestly.... Never mind he is putting his wife and other partners health at risk... Most people male or female would prefer to know if their partner is cheating... | |||
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"If a person has said they are single and lies and leads a person on its bad and shows blatant selfishness in order to get what they want If same said person is in a relationship, kids etc then it's even worse However if you are the wife (and I have been one) then most women would want to know... How the wife/partner chooses to deal with it is then upto her We're here on a swinging site ... Does adultery/cheating begin when a meet happens,or when the person creates an account? Legally in marriage, adultery is the sex act. I think it begins earlier than that personally - it's when you go 'looking' elsewhere Just my own thoughts...." People don't get seduced into fucking someone against their will. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. I think you're missing the point completely = The man had an actually family with kids so you didn't actually "be the messenger". You didn't have to interfer in the childrens lives. You could have walked away quietly instead of putting the children at risk being brought up in another broken home by two seperated parents. You are the one that learned the lesson in the situation so you didn't have to corrupt the lives of his children by putting them at risk of their family breaking down See that's the sort of thing that really gets to me. People assume that kids are better off living with two parents who have a failing relationship than living with one and both parents finding happiness. I split with my children's father almost 6 years ago and my home is far from "broken", in fact it's more fixed than it ever was. In thus case there's no indication that their family was "failing". She said herself that the family are still together - that indicates a very strong family." If that's the case then the children remain unharmed so what's the problem?!? Although I think having a secret second life might be an indication of a failing relationship, but that's just my opinion. And as we see here there are many opinions | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. It amuses me that people are sticking up for the guy. It's entirely HIS fault. Not hers. " I'm not sure I see it as sticking up for the guy, the majority have said he's at fault. She's opened herself upto the forum, her actions will be scrutinised (along with his ) which is what is happening here. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. " How do these guys afford it? Never mind ha the patience to deal with a the secrecy. | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. " I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that.
What a typical male response!!!
Honestly....
Never mind he is putting his wife and other partners health at risk...
Most people male or female would prefer to know if their partner is cheating... "There is a difference between letting the partner know and wallowing in the detail. I have seen threads on here where its obvious the other person involved loves and lives for the drama. I don't know which one it is in this case, OP, as I have lost track of the detail. For myself, I have never had any drama from anyone I've met on this site. I don't assume anything about their personal lives. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that.
I've never been in this situation but I couldn't disagree with you more!
The man in question was clearly a cold, using, calculating bastard - lying to not one but BOTH women he professed to love! He absolutely deserved to be caught out - and the mother of his children deserved far better than a scumbag like that! Staying with a shit 'for the sake of the children' is bullshit!
Every good, decent human being deserves a shot at happiness with another good, decent human being!
The guy was obviously a habitual cheat and would have kept on doing so! " | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life." And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. I think you're missing the point completely = The man had an actually family with kids so you didn't actually "be the messenger". You didn't have to interfer in the childrens lives. You could have walked away quietly instead of putting the children at risk being brought up in another broken home by two seperated parents. You are the one that learned the lesson in the situation so you didn't have to corrupt the lives of his children by putting them at risk of their family breaking down See that's the sort of thing that really gets to me. People assume that kids are better off living with two parents who have a failing relationship than living with one and both parents finding happiness. I split with my children's father almost 6 years ago and my home is far from "broken", in fact it's more fixed than it ever was. In thus case there's no indication that their family was "failing". She said herself that the family are still together - that indicates a very strong family. No I didn't. I don't know. I said they are probably still living a lie. But I don't know because I haven't seen or spoken to them.
You love twisting things don't you. "Noted - I don't mean to turn anything around. It's not my intention | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life." Well personally I would have walked no ran away but everyone is different and my point is he was responsible for any consequences to his family when he chose to cheat on them. | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. " One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. | |||
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"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that.
And you've made the assumption that my actions affected the lives of his kids...who, by the way, have nothing to do with me.
As far as i'm aware, they're all still living their 'happy families' lie of a life.
As I said, until you've been in the situation, don't judge, don't cast stones.
This last comment interested me. Why assume, just because he has had an affair that the life they are now living is a lie? Its more likely to be the most honest its ever been. I would say, from experience, that once one partner has an affair and the other finds out, this triggers a make or break discussion in a relationship where everything about the said relationship can get out into the open and a frank discussion can be had. Love conquers all and many relationships, those that survive, are stronger after an affair, if the two who decide to stick together can work it out. Often there are issues on both sides of the relationship that neither has confronted and this is the catalyst (albeit a harsh one) that can make these things happen."Logical as ever! | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"As a rule I refuse to get involved at all with attached men. However, one particularly cunty scumbag had me believe for 4 years that we were an item...I discovered he had been with his other girlfriend for 10 years and had 2 kids with her, at the time I found this out, the youngest was 5 months old. I ensured she found out what a piece of shit he was. So you broke up his family because you were naïve?
Me? What a stupid thing to say.
He made his bed, he lies in it.
As to whether his family broke up or not I don't know, nor do I care.
I gave her the information she needed to know, and then I gracefully walked away.
If someone did that to me, I would absolutely want to know. I wasn't in the wrong. Only he was.
Was your notice really that she had a right to know? Or purely vindictive to get revenge on him?
However you dress it up, personally I can't see how the latter didn't figure significantly in your actions
And why wouldn't I be vindictive? The man had 2 lives. We'd been on holidays together, we were in a proper relationship.
But she had EVERY right to know. She needed to know the man she trusted didn't deserve her trust.
You have every right to be vindictive. So I don't understand why you are dressing it up as "she had a right to know" when you just wanted to fuck hos life up.
I'm sorry but even if you were the innocent party, I don't think you are the right person to be tearing her life apart
I'm not dressing it up, she did have every right to know!! I'll not say it again.
You could have just walked away quietly for the sake of the children?
I'm of the opinion that you were overly cold and callous in how you dealt with the situation by not trying to upset the lives of the children.
Anyone in their right mind would have just walked away quietly for the same of the children with a strong personal lesson learned for their own personal future..
You failed to do that.
And you've made the assumption that my actions affected the lives of his kids...who, by the way, have nothing to do with me.
As far as i'm aware, they're all still living their 'happy families' lie of a life.
As I said, until you've been in the situation, don't judge, don't cast stones.
This last comment interested me. Why assume, just because he has had an affair that the life they are now living is a lie? Its more likely to be the most honest its ever been. I would say, from experience, that once one partner has an affair and the other finds out, this triggers a make or break discussion in a relationship where everything about the said relationship can get out into the open and a frank discussion can be had. Love conquers all and many relationships, those that survive, are stronger after an affair, if the two who decide to stick together can work it out. Often there are issues on both sides of the relationship that neither has confronted and this is the catalyst (albeit a harsh one) that can make these things happen.
Logical as ever! "I am working on my use of the English language so that what I write is coherent. And on keeping on topic ..... | |||
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)
On % of cheating males figures some mention for the site. I'd say unless anyone's carried out a comprehensive study, met 100% of the males on the site and sussed them out their talking crap
In contrast to cheating males over the years (this profile & profiles old) I've met more than a handful of m/f couples only to discover they're fuck buddies swinging behind their unknowing hub's/wife's back. Equally the same with a few single fems. On discovering all you can do is wide berth them, leave them to it.
Overall most people I've met have been what they say they are be it single or married to each other. | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife." tend to agree.. think there was also an element of 'he has fucked my life up so i will fuck his up'.. not saying its wrong as not been there and we are all human and some will do things when hurting they may not at other times.. in essence the bloke laid the foundations to whatever hurt his family later suffered.. | |||
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"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in." Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. tend to agree.. think there was also an element of 'he has fucked my life up so i will fuck his up'.. not saying its wrong as not been there and we are all human and some will do things when hurting they may not at other times.. in essence the bloke laid the foundations to whatever hurt his family later suffered.. " If I'd wanted to fuck his entire life up I could easily have done so upon my discovery. But all I did was tell his other woman. I didn't tell his employers which would have ruined his career (the type of position he was in requires someone who isn't a cheating, lying scumbag) I didn't put posters up around the town. I didn't spraypaint the side of their home. I didn't slander. I just told the truth. And not even publicly. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. " Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein" Oh my lord you have a serious problem. You just want to be right...but you're not, and you won't be. Put your ego down for a minute. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? " The adultry topic is always a touchy one...whether your the innocent or guilty party ...I find many couples who do swing do it to stop cheating from happening behind their backs ....many couples, singles have experienced a cheater at some point I their life ....it hits deep with some people that's why ...some have very strong morals some don't but no matter what has happened the "other women" will always get the harshest end of it X Chin up ..don't let the fuckers get to you X | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. tend to agree.. think there was also an element of 'he has fucked my life up so i will fuck his up'.. not saying its wrong as not been there and we are all human and some will do things when hurting they may not at other times.. in essence the bloke laid the foundations to whatever hurt his family later suffered.. If I'd wanted to fuck his entire life up I could easily have done so upon my discovery. But all I did was tell his other woman. I didn't tell his employers which would have ruined his career (the type of position he was in requires someone who isn't a cheating, lying scumbag) I didn't put posters up around the town. I didn't spraypaint the side of their home. I didn't slander. I just told the truth. And not even publicly. " i'm not judging you so you don't have to justify yourself by stating what you could have done but didn't.. we are all human, not many of us don't react when hurt and being deceived for that length of time will have hurt badly.. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? " I don't think you are being demonised. I think you are provoking an interesting discussion. Nothing I say is personal, not sure about anyone else. I do think you are angry at him ... and upset and annoyed with yourself, deep down. There seems to be a hint of bitterness at what they have. Let them get in with it. I dont think rehashing it is doing anyone any good ... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? The adultry topic is always a touchy one...whether your the innocent or guilty party ...I find many couples who do swing do it to stop cheating from happening behind their backs ....many couples, singles have experienced a cheater at some point I their life ....it hits deep with some people that's why ...some have very strong morals some don't but no matter what has happened the "other women" will always get the harshest end of it X Chin up ..don't let the fuckers get to you X " Very fair point!! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? The adultry topic is always a touchy one...whether your the innocent or guilty party ...I find many couples who do swing do it to stop cheating from happening behind their backs ....many couples, singles have experienced a cheater at some point I their life ....it hits deep with some people that's why ...some have very strong morals some don't but no matter what has happened the "other women" will always get the harshest end of it X Chin up ..don't let the fuckers get to you X " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? " You're not being demonised but your intent is being questioned. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein" there were 2 of them in the relationship, one had another family with kids so i think they also share a part of the responsibility also.. its never just one sided.. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? I don't think you are being demonised. I think you are provoking an interesting discussion. Nothing I say is personal, not sure about anyone else. I do think you are angry at him ... and upset and annoyed with yourself, deep down. There seems to be a hint of bitterness at what they have. Let them get in with it. I dont think rehashing it is doing anyone any good ..." I am letting them get on with it. I haven't spoken to, seen or tried to contact them since. After advising the other woman of the situation I walked away, never to be seen again. The only thing I'm annoyed at myself for was trusting him and loving him so utterly that I didn't see what was happening. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? You're not being demonised but your intent is being questioned. " I've already explained my intent, and i've also stated that I won't say it again. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
My motto is "I'm single ready to mingle" ... Your status is no concern of mine ... I couldn't give a shite! .... This isn't match.com and we are all here for our own reasons ... For me folk on here looking for a relationship I think are "mugs" as what type of blokes use this site anyways lol .... So each to their own and all here for different reasons and no ones is better than anyone else..... I've not had any ex's at my door yet haha but they may possibly far more shocked than me ..... But I've nothing to hide .... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein Oh my lord you have a serious problem. You just want to be right...but you're not, and you won't be. Put your ego down for a minute. " I wouldn't bother. He's obviously trying to make you look responsible for the tawdry situation. Whereas if the father hadn't strayed it wouldn't have arisen. Ignore him. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? The adultry topic is always a touchy one...whether your the innocent or guilty party ...I find many couples who do swing do it to stop cheating from happening behind their backs ....many couples, singles have experienced a cheater at some point I their life ....it hits deep with some people that's why ...some have very strong morals some don't but no matter what has happened the "other women" will always get the harshest end of it X Chin up ..don't let the fuckers get to you X " Thanks. If I'd known I were to be the 'other woman' I wouldn't have touched the vile creature with an electric cattle prod. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein Oh my lord you have a serious problem. You just want to be right...but you're not, and you won't be. Put your ego down for a minute. I wouldn't bother. He's obviously trying to make you look responsible for the tawdry situation. Whereas if the father hadn't strayed it wouldn't have arisen. Ignore him. "But he makes such an (un)convincing argument I feel compelled to respond! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Oh dear .... See the moral police are out in force again
My motto is "I'm single ready to mingle" ... Your status is no concern of mine ... I couldn't give a shite! .... This isn't match.com and we are all here for our own reasons ... For me folk on here looking for a relationship I think are "mugs" as what type of blokes use this site anyways lol .... So each to their own and all here for different reasons and no ones is better than anyone else..... I've not had any ex's at my door yet haha but they may possibly far more shocked than me ..... But I've nothing to hide .... "What type of blokes use this site?? I have met a great one here ... | |||
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"... If I'd known I were to be the 'other woman' I wouldn't have touched the vile creature with an electric cattle prod. " Do it now!!  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? You're not being demonised but your intent is being questioned. I've already explained my intent, and i've also stated that I won't say it again. "I know you have
But as no one knows you personally it's the one thing everyone can comment on / make assumptions about ~ rightly or wrongly.
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"... If I'd known I were to be the 'other woman' I wouldn't have touched the vile creature with an electric cattle prod. Do it now!! "That would involve an awful lot of effort sadly...seeing as I took the high road and moved quite far away. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein Oh my lord you have a serious problem. You just want to be right...but you're not, and you won't be. Put your ego down for a minute. I wouldn't bother. He's obviously trying to make you look responsible for the tawdry situation. Whereas if the father hadn't strayed it wouldn't have arisen. Ignore him.
But he makes such an (un)convincing argument I feel compelled to respond!"Seriously you're just wasting your time. Some people will only ever see their own point of view. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? You're not being demonised but your intent is being questioned. I've already explained my intent, and i've also stated that I won't say it again.
I know you have
But as no one knows you personally it's the one thing everyone can comment on / make assumptions about ~ rightly or wrongly.
"I find it quite sad really. Having been cheated on myself in a different relationship, yes it was horrible finding out from her, but he certainly never would have told me about it. And I still believe I had every right to know and i'm glad I did. I just put the shoe on the other foot. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein Oh my lord you have a serious problem. You just want to be right...but you're not, and you won't be. Put your ego down for a minute. I wouldn't bother. He's obviously trying to make you look responsible for the tawdry situation. Whereas if the father hadn't strayed it wouldn't have arisen. Ignore him.
But he makes such an (un)convincing argument I feel compelled to respond!
Seriously you're just wasting your time. Some people will only ever see their own point of view. "It's ok, i'm just enjoying being labelled as vindictive. It's the nastiest thing anyone has ever called me. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein Oh my lord you have a serious problem. You just want to be right...but you're not, and you won't be. Put your ego down for a minute. " Well I'll be totally honest with you - I think the intent behind your actions is clear enough for anyone to know the truth | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein Oh my lord you have a serious problem. You just want to be right...but you're not, and you won't be. Put your ego down for a minute. I wouldn't bother. He's obviously trying to make you look responsible for the tawdry situation. Whereas if the father hadn't strayed it wouldn't have arisen. Ignore him.
But he makes such an (un)convincing argument I feel compelled to respond!
Seriously you're just wasting your time. Some people will only ever see their own point of view.
It's ok, i'm just enjoying being labelled as vindictive. It's the nastiest thing anyone has ever called me. "Only get upset if it's true. If it isn't its truly just words on a page from someone who doesn't know or care about you. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. One of the children was five months old .... even if you had told the infant, I am not sure the details would have sunk in. Precisely. So why am I being demonised for telling an adult the truth about another adult? The adultry topic is always a touchy one...whether your the innocent or guilty party ...I find many couples who do swing do it to stop cheating from happening behind their backs ....many couples, singles have experienced a cheater at some point I their life ....it hits deep with some people that's why ...some have very strong morals some don't but no matter what has happened the "other women" will always get the harshest end of it X Chin up ..don't let the fuckers get to you X Thanks. If I'd known I were to be the 'other woman' I wouldn't have touched the vile creature with an electric cattle prod. " Lol....electric cattle prob ..brilliant
That's the crux of it ....you had "your choice" taken from you ... How can you possibly make an informal choice with out full disclosure from him!
I totally get what you did & why you did it..would I do the same...I couldn't answer that unless I was in the situation
I suggest people stop criticising you as they have very little insight in to what you went through or of how he was with you .....when a man tells a women he loves her & spends many intimate nights with her....her life them encompasses his, they become one & to have that ripped apart would break any women & turn her in to someone she doesn't even know herself ...food for thought people X
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein Oh my lord you have a serious problem. You just want to be right...but you're not, and you won't be. Put your ego down for a minute. Well I'll be totally honest with you - I think the intent behind your actions is clear enough for anyone to know the truth" Correct, my intent was for everyone to know the truth. That is what you're saying, isn't it?! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein Oh my lord you have a serious problem. You just want to be right...but you're not, and you won't be. Put your ego down for a minute. I wouldn't bother. He's obviously trying to make you look responsible for the tawdry situation. Whereas if the father hadn't strayed it wouldn't have arisen. Ignore him.
But he makes such an (un)convincing argument I feel compelled to respond!
Seriously you're just wasting your time. Some people will only ever see their own point of view.
It's ok, i'm just enjoying being labelled as vindictive. It's the nastiest thing anyone has ever called me.
Only get upset if it's true. If it isn't its truly just words on a page from someone who doesn't know or care about you."
My motto. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many judgmental people on here. Anyone who cheats deserves all they get. I'm single and I've had lots of attached men contacting me when it clearly states on my profile I don't meet attached men. Some I've met and found out later they were lying. Must be great being so perfect and being able to judge the women on here. The men were the cheats and caused the situations. Reap what you sow. There's no need for the children to be brought in to it though - there's no need to expose them to a possible stressful family break up. Children should not have to "reap" anything - the mature thing is to walk away quietly with a valuable lesson learned. Well she chose not to. Like the man chose to cheat so tough! Perhaps HE should of thought of the potential consequences before HE chose to cheat!!! By your reasoning it seems as though your default position in the matter is that the children deserve whatever consequences the father brings upon the family. Which in my opinion is absolutely disgraceful Yes well your opinion is irrelevant. The father chose to cheat. He brought about the consequences by his own selfish actions. Trying to argue otherwise is disgraceful and you must condone his actions as a cheat. I don't have to "condone" anything here because the man or his actions isn't my concern nor has it been from the beginning - that doesn't mean I think what he did was right either. My point from the beginning is that she deliberately exposed the children to the possibility of their family breaking down instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly having learned a lesson in life. And as i've said above I told the children nothing, and if they chose to be bad parents then they're in the wrong. Stop it - I never said or implied you "told the children" anything so your point is ridiculous. What I said was that you deliberately exposed them - through your actions - to the possibility of their family breaking up instead of being mature enough to walk away quietly from the situation having learned a valuable lesson in life. You taking the position that "you didn't tell the children anything therefore you're innocent" is honestly a very sly and vindictive postion to take in the matter because it's just plain obvious that you're just trying to dodge taking responsibility for your own actions therein Oh my lord you have a serious problem. You just want to be right...but you're not, and you won't be. Put your ego down for a minute. I wouldn't bother. He's obviously trying to make you look responsible for the tawdry situation. Whereas if the father hadn't strayed it wouldn't have arisen. Ignore him.
But he makes such an (un)convincing argument I feel compelled to respond!
Seriously you're just wasting your time. Some people will only ever see their own point of view.
It's ok, i'm just enjoying being labelled as vindictive. It's the nastiest thing anyone has ever called me.
Only get upset if it's true. If it isn't its truly just words on a page from someone who doesn't know or care about you."That's just it, i'm not upset about what this stranger on a forum says, as I say i'm quite enjoying being called vindictive, as it's so far from the truth! | |||
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"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. I don't think that anyone can judge the situation until you've actually been in it. Every persons response to any similar situation will react differently due to us all being different & having different views on the world we live in One persons way of dealing with issues will be different to another - we all have opinions yes but no one is right or wrong! What was wrong, was the married man for not letting you know he was married - if he did, you could have choose to do what you saw fit right from the start - that's what should have happened! " Agreed x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"And Strawberry a friend of mine ..... her ex lived a double life for 14 yrs. He had a wife of 20 yrs. He worked away so lived with one when he was up here and the other when away. And no one knows what it is like. What I love about this is how quick people are to tell me what I should have done in my life. As if I was just some little fling or a random fuck. When this man was my LIFE! What people are saying is they understand that you were hurt, they understand he did wrong to you, but what you did directly affected children. You tried to put a wedge between a man, his wife, and his children. You're trying to dress it up as you being a good samaritan and respecting her 'right to know', but you know, I know, everyone else knows, you did it to hurt him...and in the process of hurting him you weren't bothered if it hurt his family. I've no doubt he deserves hell and damnation even if we all believe you were totally innocent (I do believe you). The kids didn't deserve that, nor did his wife. A. They weren't married. B. His own behaviour drove the wedge. C. Just stop. You say = A. "They weren't married." That's an irrelevant point. B. "His own behaviour drove the wedge." You say that is if you didn't deliberately act in a manner that would have made the situation worst for his children when you clearly did. C. "Just stop." It seems to me like you're not able to admit the fact that you acted overly cold and callous in dealing with the situation. Actually point a is relevant. He had made no vows to anyone. Point b. I refer you to the saying 'don't shoot the messenger' Point c. See point b. I don't think that anyone can judge the situation until you've actually been in it. Every persons response to any similar situation will react differently due to us all being different & having different views on the world we live in One persons way of dealing with issues will be different to another - we all have opinions yes but no one is right or wrong! What was wrong, was the married man for not letting you know he was married - if he did, you could have choose to do what you saw fit right from the start - that's what should have happened! Agreed x" By saying what I said, and walking away. I got the last word. | |||
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"Don't get the whole judging the single party in an affair or any other kind of liaison. Responsibility is 100% with the attached party and zero responsibility of the "other woman/man". You can only be seduced if you want to be, and allow it to happen. There is always a choice and it's the attached persons alone to make." | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
