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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok, been working on this for a bit, would appreciate any feedback if you think this is funny or otherwise
1. The initial message
Ears to Brain: we have a text message.
Brain to Ears: Roger that, ears. Ok finger prepare to slide over phone to receive message
Brain to Eyes: Request visual
Eyes to Brain: sending visual
Brain: yeah copy that eyes, just give me a minute, it is in text speak. Will comprehend message and be ready to reply shortly. Fingers to stand by.
Brain to all: ok, message is “yes I would like to go out with you this evening for a drink”
Penis to Brain: can you confirm that this message is from a woman?
Brain to penis: confirmed, but stand down, penis, there is a long way to go before you may be called upon.
Penis to Brain: I am not getting my hopes up yet!
Brain to Heart: How are we doing there? Please supply initial feedback, ready to respond to female,
Heart to Brain: well, you never listen to me ahead of penis anyway, so why ask me now?
Brain to Heart: Ok, I know that you are feeling a bit broken, but, hey, this is a new start, a new adventure.
Heart to Brain: well, just don’t get us into a position where I will be saying I told you so again!
Brain to Heart: Look, we have had this conversation a thousand times. It is not that I like penis more than you, honest. He just has a mind of his own, he really pisses me off too.
Penis to Brain: I am going back to sleep while you ladies chatter away. Wake me up if we do actually get to meet a real woman.
Fingers to Brain: We are on standby, request message to communicate reply
Brain to Fingers: “Yes, that sounds great. How about we meet at the Red Lion in the High Street”
Heart to Brain: Classy, not
Fingers to Brain: message sent, confirmed
Brain to Heart: Look, can we talk about this later, please. What with you and Penis bickering all the time, it really does my head in!
Stomach to Brain: Can we get some food tonight, please? I do enjoy the lager slushing around inside me, but up to a point! And you know how I get when I am nervous…
Brain to Stomach: understood. God, the last thing we want is you to be gurgling away. What with you and Bowels, the two of you are such a bad pair, I wish that there was some way to keep you two apart. Which reminds me, I had better double check.
Brain to Bowels: Request stat rep.
Bowels to Brain: All clear.
Brain to all: Thank fuck for that
Ears and Eyes: text message received…”Cool, see you at 8 pm x”
Penis to Eyes: request visual
Eyes to Penis: scanning phone but no visual available
Penis to Hand: Bet it will be you and me again tonight, mate
Hand to Penis: Anytime honey.
Penis to Hand: ok, but I keep telling you that I only use you as a last resort. Stop calling me honey
Brain to All: Right, shut up all of you, it is time to get ready. Let’s work together for a change and see if we can all agree. Could this be the woman for us?
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