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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place"
I actually think you should trust willingly unless someone proves themselves untrust worthy.
I dont think thats naive  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I actually think you should trust willingly unless someone proves themselves untrust worthy.
I dont think thats naive "
You can trust me  |
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To be honest I've never heard anyone say that they can't trust anyone on here, and we have both been here for around the 10 yr mark.
I can understand someone not being able to trust someone in real life though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I actually think you should trust willingly unless someone proves themselves untrust worthy.
I dont think thats naive
You can trust me "
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
That's a difficult one....
I've been made a mug of on here by someone I trusted, but was that cause I let him talk me into it being 'more' than a swinging relationship? (meaning less swinging and more relationship).
In which case it is nowt to do with the site - just my stupidity. Although it was here he found others to play with - hence I say it's a hard question  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I actually think you should trust willingly unless someone proves themselves untrust worthy.
I dont think thats naive "
No nor do I, I make a conscious decision to believe people at their word and to go from there. I'm simply saying that I've encountered a good deal of cynical people amongst the longer serving fab members. Personally I find it sad as I'd rather believe the best in people than the worst |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I actually think you should trust willingly unless someone proves themselves untrust worthy.
I dont think thats naive
No nor do I, I make a conscious decision to believe people at their word and to go from there. I'm simply saying that I've encountered a good deal of cynical people amongst the longer serving fab members. Personally I find it sad as I'd rather believe the best in people than the worst"
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Reliability is very important to me. If someone agrees to a meet then cancels last minute/no shows then not only has my trust in them been destroyed, my trust in future meets has been affected. Over time, and with the flakiness of some of the guys I've spoken to, its just made me less trusting of people on here in general. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I actually think you should trust willingly unless someone proves themselves untrust worthy.
I dont think thats naive
You can trust me "
I never trust any who says 'trust me'! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I actually think you should trust willingly unless someone proves themselves untrust worthy.
I dont think thats naive "
i like to think that's how i am, however some experiences have made me a bit more cautious than before.
There will always be those who wants to play silly games, but i don't want to close up completely.. |
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place"
see i would agree with this we all are wary and wouldnt do certain things. But its when they say they havw no trust at all
How do they meet people if they dont have basic trust |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
DTA...Don't trust anyone!
I am reasonably trusting on here. I take the same precautions I would with any one. Everyone should be given respect and the chance to prove themselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've come to believe you can't have trust without time. You can have faith, and it may prove to be well-founded, but not trust.
It's a blessing being overseas in that regard, nobody would hop on a plane to meet without a lengthy getting to know you, which in turn makes that investment feel more secure. |
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"To be honest I've never heard anyone say that they can't trust anyone on here, and we have both been here for around the 10 yr mark.
I can understand someone not being able to trust someone in real life though."
you must just read different threads to me then |
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"That's a difficult one....
I've been made a mug of on here by someone I trusted, but was that cause I let him talk me into it being 'more' than a swinging relationship? (meaning less swinging and more relationship).
In which case it is nowt to do with the site - just my stupidity. Although it was here he found others to play with - hence I say it's a hard question "
ah thats the kind of answer i was looking for |
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"I've come to believe you can't have trust without time. You can have faith, and it may prove to be well-founded, but not trust.
It's a blessing being overseas in that regard, nobody would hop on a plane to meet without a lengthy getting to know you, which in turn makes that investment feel more secure."
faith and trust mean the same to me. If i put my faith in someone i put my trust in them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I actually think you should trust willingly unless someone proves themselves untrust worthy.
I dont think thats naive
You can trust me
I never trust any who says 'trust me'! "
...Trust Me!! |
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"Oh im saying this.as i wouldnt meet someone without having basic trust
Trust me, I was born on the 5th of March 1962  "
i have evidenxe to back up that you dont bloody know what youve read the day before |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"That's a difficult one....
I've been made a mug of on here by someone I trusted, but was that cause I let him talk me into it being 'more' than a swinging relationship? (meaning less swinging and more relationship).
In which case it is nowt to do with the site - just my stupidity. Although it was here he found others to play with - hence I say it's a hard question ah thats the kind of answer i was looking for"
But it was a higgledy-piggledy answer haha!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That's a difficult one....
I've been made a mug of on here by someone I trusted, but was that cause I let him talk me into it being 'more' than a swinging relationship? (meaning less swinging and more relationship).
In which case it is nowt to do with the site - just my stupidity. Although it was here he found others to play with - hence I say it's a hard question ah thats the kind of answer i was looking for
But it was a higgledy-piggledy answer haha!!"
a higgledy-piggledy hanky-panky --- say that when youre pissed |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
i dont trust people to be impeccable
i dont trust people not to slag me off behind my back, while being nice to my face
but i trust myself to find out the truth about people when i need to..therefore i trust everyone, until its shown to me to be otherwise. |
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"That's a difficult one....
I've been made a mug of on here by someone I trusted, but was that cause I let him talk me into it being 'more' than a swinging relationship? (meaning less swinging and more relationship).
In which case it is nowt to do with the site - just my stupidity. Although it was here he found others to play with - hence I say it's a hard question ah thats the kind of answer i was looking for
But it was a higgledy-piggledy answer haha!!"
but it made sense to me |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"That's a difficult one....
I've been made a mug of on here by someone I trusted, but was that cause I let him talk me into it being 'more' than a swinging relationship? (meaning less swinging and more relationship).
In which case it is nowt to do with the site - just my stupidity. Although it was here he found others to play with - hence I say it's a hard question ah thats the kind of answer i was looking for
But it was a higgledy-piggledy answer haha!!
a higgledy-piggledy hanky-panky --- say that when youre pissed "
I'm not doing pissed again for a while after last night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's a difficult one....
I've been made a mug of on here by someone I trusted, but was that cause I let him talk me into it being 'more' than a swinging relationship? (meaning less swinging and more relationship).
In which case it is nowt to do with the site - just my stupidity. Although it was here he found others to play with - hence I say it's a hard question ah thats the kind of answer i was looking for
But it was a higgledy-piggledy answer haha!!
a higgledy-piggledy hanky-panky --- say that when youre pissed
I'm not doing pissed again for a while after last night "
plink plink fizz |
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Trust is a big question.
I'm diving in deep here folks, trust me....
Fundamentally if you want to trust someone I think you are saying you want that person to put your needs at least on a equal footing with theirs, or even ahead of theirs - you "trust" the person will think of you and be considerate respectful and attentive in how the treat you.
The focus of many of the profiles I see on here is very much about personal lists of wants and desires, tops, bottoms, doms, subs, black, white, big, small - all good and fine but I think perhaps what's missing is the fact that great sex is about being completely in tune with that other person or persons, even if that person is saying "have me as you will" they are trusting that you will actually attend to their desires along with your own. So the very set up of the site can make trust problematic.
Giving pleasure of course is always more time consuming and difficult then taking it. In the end all we can do is literally trust that the person you pick will hold your pleasure as central to their pleasure and jump!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone didn't show up for an arranged meeting it wouldn't be the end of the world.
If they say they will pick me up,take me to theirs or a hotel and bring me back safe,I have to trust that is what they are going to do.
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"That's a difficult one....
I've been made a mug of on here by someone I trusted, but was that cause I let him talk me into it being 'more' than a swinging relationship? (meaning less swinging and more relationship).
In which case it is nowt to do with the site - just my stupidity. Although it was here he found others to play with - hence I say it's a hard question ah thats the kind of answer i was looking for
But it was a higgledy-piggledy answer haha!!
a higgledy-piggledy hanky-panky --- say that when youre pissed
I'm not doing pissed again for a while after last night
plink plink fizz "
Ssshhhh that was too loud!!
Had cider direct from Thatchers in Somerset - should have known if we'd strong when it came in a jerry can!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's a difficult one....
I've been made a mug of on here by someone I trusted, but was that cause I let him talk me into it being 'more' than a swinging relationship? (meaning less swinging and more relationship).
In which case it is nowt to do with the site - just my stupidity. Although it was here he found others to play with - hence I say it's a hard question ah thats the kind of answer i was looking for
But it was a higgledy-piggledy answer haha!!
a higgledy-piggledy hanky-panky --- say that when youre pissed
I'm not doing pissed again for a while after last night
plink plink fizz
Ssshhhh that was too loud!!
Had cider direct from Thatchers in Somerset - should have known if we'd strong when it came in a jerry can!! "
oh youre a wurzel  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place"
I don't trust what people say on here & I do think some lap up everything & anything said to them. In my eyes that makes them naive. |
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I don't trust what people say on here & I do think some lap up everything & anything said to them. In my eyes that makes them naive."
is it everything they say though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I don't trust what people say on here & I do think some lap up everything & anything said to them. In my eyes that makes them naive.is it everything they say though?"
No, not necessarily everything.
Without detailing specifics I have an uncanny ability to remember lots of random shite & I've seen people completely contradict themselves time & time again.
Also if I believed everything men told me on here I wouldn't be able to get my huge head out of the door in the morning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I don't trust what people say on here & I do think some lap up everything & anything said to them. In my eyes that makes them naive."
You mean I'm not stunningly gorgeous with the best boobs ever?  |
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I don't trust what people say on here & I do think some lap up everything & anything said to them. In my eyes that makes them naive.is it everything they say though?
No, not necessarily everything.
Without detailing specifics I have an uncanny ability to remember lots of random shite & I've seen people completely contradict themselves time & time again.
Also if I believed everything men told me on here I wouldn't be able to get my huge head out of the door in the morning "
right i completly agree i dont even entertain or get into bullshit.conversations
But if im chatting to a nice guy and we arrange to meet then i trust he.will turn up |
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"Guys who say their not married then post something on the forums which clearly suggest they are!!!"
and the ones you meet who just happen to mention their wife or girlfriend.
and the ones who talk about them will be talking about you too.
sometimes they give other men your phone number. I suppose it all depends on what you class as acceptable behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think over time on fab and swinging in general cynicism becomes ingrained into people's attitudes and behaviours. When people say that they don't trust people I think that they mean that they question people's motives and their intentions. Although I do wonder if those people were naive in the first place
I don't trust what people say on here & I do think some lap up everything & anything said to them. In my eyes that makes them naive.is it everything they say though?
No, not necessarily everything.
Without detailing specifics I have an uncanny ability to remember lots of random shite & I've seen people completely contradict themselves time & time again.
Also if I believed everything men told me on here I wouldn't be able to get my huge head out of the door in the morning right i completly agree i dont even entertain or get into bullshit.conversations
But if im chatting to a nice guy and we arrange to meet then i trust he.will turn up"
Oh totally me too, I trust their intention to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I treat sites like this with a healthy dose of scepticism so I guess I'm not investing much of my trust.
If things turn out better than expected I treat it as a bonus, if not then I'm not surprised. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I treat sites like this with a healthy dose of scepticism so I guess I'm not investing much of my trust.
If things turn out better than expected I treat it as a bonus, if not then I'm not surprised."
 |
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"I treat sites like this with a healthy dose of scepticism so I guess I'm not investing much of my trust.
If things turn out better than expected I treat it as a bonus, if not then I'm not surprised."
i dont need much trust but i need some
But i dont need much trust to get what i want from the site |
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"Oh im saying this.as i wouldnt meet someone without having basic trust
Trust me, I was born on the 5th of March 1962 i have evidenxe to back up that you dont bloody know what youve read the day before "
Yeah I know  |
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I'm quite a trusting person but on a site like this you have to take some things with a pinch of salt, some people aren't who they say they are and unfortunately you don't always find that out until you have met them in person.
It's hard to out your trust in someone 100% because even the most ardent can be fickle at times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, something ive always wondered. When someone says they dont trust people on here what exactly does that mean. What dont you trust"
When people say they don't trust people here, they are referring to the people that use this website. Is that simple enough for you?
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The nature of a site like this is bound to put caution in the mind. My view is that most of us are here for sex, and or some friendship as well.
And we should bare that in mind. We are talking to strangers via texting.
We all have our reasons for being here, so a basic trust has to be the starting point.
That can only be done by getting a feeling when we start to chat. If your instinct says .... something not right... move on.
But eventually if we want to meet we have to take a leap of cautious faith. A social meet before has to be the best way to get a feeling for the person we intend getting physical with.
Question? ... would you, and would you invite them into your home or go to there's.
But I wouldn't let some bad chats or meets mistrust everyone one else. I treat every contact I have as OK until I feel otherwise. |
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Only thing I trust is my in stinks and even then not where woman I like are concerned it's the 1 thing they are very dodgy on but I've wisend up in that at least I know that so even though the freaks can get through they are soon seen and deleted from my life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't trust people with my body, or that they will respect me and what i want.
Mostly if i say i don't trust people on here though it means i don't trust anything they say. |
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"Ok, something ive always wondered. When someone says they dont trust people on here what exactly does that mean. What dont you trust
When people say they don't trust people here, they are referring to the people that use this website. Is that simple enough for you?
"
i didnt ask for it to be simple. Ive found all the answers interesting |
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"Ok, something ive always wondered. When someone says they dont trust people on here what exactly does that mean. What dont you trust"
Trust is something you gain quickly and lose in an instant. There are some I do trust here - and they trust me completely.
I could not say exactly how this happens - it just does for some people. |
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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"Do you trust someone to turn up when they say they will? After a few times being let down you start to mistrust every guy on here.."
O dear, Mass Generalisation
Sometimes it's better to let go isn't it, |
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"Do you trust someone to turn up when they say they will? After a few times being let down you start to mistrust every guy on here.."
if i did that i wouldnt meet. Im not going to get ready thinking there not goinv to turn up. If they break my trust by not turning up its not going to have any inpact on my life
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I've no idea Diamond but it generally indicates that they're probably not someone I'll be getting closer too, in any hurry.
I trust people that I encounter to varying degrees, based on our experience together and my perception. (We've all got our own baggage, so mine'll figure too).
People have trusted me in Fab and I respect that. I've trusted some here though mainly I have developed enormous respect for others here - I think that's more important for me, where I'm not at this point pursuing some very involved relationships. If I were to be doing this, then I'd expect trust to be developed along the way, for both of us.
Someone's on a shag site: they want sex without any significant involvement. The type of trust in a NSA may involve being healthy and for each to devote their attention to ensuring that the other has a great time. Obviously neither would expect to be messed about.
I think in general if people aren't willing to invest in trusting others, then they're likely to find that others won't so much either. We sense how much - or little - someone else is giving us and don't want a raw deal: we'd feel cheated/short changed.
Otherwise, thinking just about health - we can each ensure that we take personal responsibility for ensuring our own health, to the maximum extent possible. It doesn't then give away power to somebody else. Did they put a condom on? Ensure that they do etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are we really talking about the same definition of trust, though?
Could you apply the same type of trust to someone you know in person (and for some length of time), and someone you've talked to on social media, email and via kik - who is effectively a stranger?
Fundamentally I don't believe so. I think the idea of 'trust' is more a method of control, or leverage, for certain people. I've seen it almost weaponised in some cases.
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"Are we really talking about the same definition of trust, though?
Could you apply the same type of trust to someone you know in person (and for some length of time), and someone you've talked to on social media, email and via kik - who is effectively a stranger?
Fundamentally I don't believe so. I think the idea of 'trust' is more a method of control, or leverage, for certain people. I've seen it almost weaponised in some cases.
"
off cause not im talking about the.fact i have to have basic trust to meet not trusting them with my life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are we really talking about the same definition of trust, though?
Could you apply the same type of trust to someone you know in person (and for some length of time), and someone you've talked to on social media, email and via kik - who is effectively a stranger?
Fundamentally I don't believe so. I think the idea of 'trust' is more a method of control, or leverage, for certain people. I've seen it almost weaponised in some cases.
"
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