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Swinging community- people often close minded
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Bit of a strange one here.
I am picky on the women I message on here. Personally I think that's a good thing BUT I have found that 99% of the women on here are only looking for veterans.
OK fair enough. Although does this hinder the growing younger population of swingers nsa fun noobs coming through.
OK granted Im not the greatest looking guy on here and refuse to put a cock pic up but it does seem interesting.
(Don't think I'm complaining I'm just wandering if anyone else has noticed this) |
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"So you've contacted 99% of the women on here op?  "
Sorry I meant to say 99% of the women on here who mAtcham what I'm also looking for within a decent traveling area.
I would be here forever otherwise  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i think it is more interesting OP that you picked up on either all the things you won't do... or the things you can't control.... to leave yourself blameless...
see.... its real easy to blame everything around you for your woes..... its a lot harder for people to ask "well what i can i do to improve my chances!"
after all... we were all new once, and people must be doing something!!! |
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"So you've contacted 99% of the women on here op?
Sorry I meant to say 99% of the women on here who mAtcham what I'm also looking for within a decent traveling area.
I would be here forever otherwise "
just because they match what you are looking for does not mean they want to meet you op. |
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"thats bollocks. what exact percentage of replies you have had, have stated that is their reason for a rejection?"
No usually read messages with no reply
Never an instant block and rarely and instant delete. Is this a case of women holding out for better and I'm back up. 
I dont mind I have met one lovely lady on here. But one in there years 
May well be that I'm a single bloke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bit of a strange one here.
I am picky on the women I message on here. Personally I think that's a good thing BUT I have found that 99% of the women on here are only looking for veterans.
OK fair enough. Although does this hinder the growing younger population of swingers nsa fun noobs coming through.
OK granted Im not the greatest looking guy on here and refuse to put a cock pic up but it does seem interesting.
(Don't think I'm complaining I'm just wandering if anyone else has noticed this)"
Veterans? Jeepers that's a funny way of putting it!
are these the ones with medals for so many people shagged? |
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"So you've contacted 99% of the women on here op?
Sorry I meant to say 99% of the women on here who mAtcham what I'm also looking for within a decent traveling area.
I would be here forever otherwise just because they match what you are looking for does not mean they want to meet you op. "
Yes. I appreciate this. It's just a random observation. I'm not bothered about it. I just wandered if anyone else has experienced it of if I'm just talking off Base here . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"thats bollocks. what exact percentage of replies you have had, have stated that is their reason for a rejection?
No usually read messages with no reply
Never an instant block and rarely and instant delete. Is this a case of women holding out for better and I'm back up.
I dont mind I have met one lovely lady on here. But one in there years
May well be that I'm a single bloke "
so if you get no reply, where do you get the stupid idea its something to do with how long you've been on here,(over a year according to your profile)?...why don't you consider what else it might be? |
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"Bit of a strange one here.
I am picky on the women I message on here. Personally I think that's a good thing BUT I have found that 99% of the women on here are only looking for veterans.
OK fair enough. Although does this hinder the growing younger population of swingers nsa fun noobs coming through.
OK granted Im not the greatest looking guy on here and refuse to put a cock pic up but it does seem interesting.
(Don't think I'm complaining I'm just wandering if anyone else has noticed this)
Veterans? Jeepers that's a funny way of putting it!
are these the ones with medals for so many people shagged? "
Quite possible. 
|
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"thats bollocks. what exact percentage of replies you have had, have stated that is their reason for a rejection?
No usually read messages with no reply
Never an instant block and rarely and instant delete. Is this a case of women holding out for better and I'm back up.
I dont mind I have met one lovely lady on here. But one in there years
May well be that I'm a single bloke
so if you get no reply, where do you get the stupid idea its something to do with how long you've been on here,(over a year according to your profile)?...why don't you consider what else it might be?"
I am considering what else it may be. Hence the post on here!!
Hence why I'm finding out if I'm off Base aka talking out my arse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"thats bollocks. what exact percentage of replies you have had, have stated that is their reason for a rejection?
No usually read messages with no reply
Never an instant block and rarely and instant delete. Is this a case of women holding out for better and I'm back up. :-
I dont mind I have met one lovely lady on here. But one in there years
May well be that I'm a single bloke
so if you get no reply, where do you get the stupid idea its something to do with how long you've been on here,(over a year according to your profile)?...why don't you consider what else it might be?
I am considering what else it may be. Hence the post on here!!
Hence why I'm finding out if I'm off Base aka talking out my arse "
yes, you are indeed talking out of your arse; you have said yourself you have had no responses that have given you this reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, do you perhaps mean closed minded to you?
Quite possibly. Although with not having an automatic mail delete I don't think that's the case.
"
what do you mean? i dont understand what you mean by 'automatic delete? |
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"thats bollocks. what exact percentage of replies you have had, have stated that is their reason for a rejection?
No usually read messages with no reply
Never an instant block and rarely and instant delete. Is this a case of women holding out for better and I'm back up. :-
I dont mind I have met one lovely lady on here. But one in there years
May well be that I'm a single bloke
so if you get no reply, where do you get the stupid idea its something to do with how long you've been on here,(over a year according to your profile)?...why don't you consider what else it might be?
I am considering what else it may be. Hence the post on here!!
Hence why I'm finding out if I'm off Base aka talking out my arse
yes, you are indeed talking out of your arse; you have said yourself you have had no responses that have given you this reason."
Good to know.
Still hope for the old dog yet then! - me.
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"OP, do you perhaps mean closed minded to you?
Quite possibly. Although with not having an automatic mail delete I don't think that's the case.
what do you mean? i dont understand what you mean by 'automatic delete?"
As in many read my messages. But rarely reply.
Rather than reading them and deleting them straight away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, do you perhaps mean closed minded to you?
Quite possibly. Although with not having an automatic mail delete I don't think that's the case.
what do you mean? i dont understand what you mean by 'automatic delete?
As in many read my messages. But rarely reply.
Rather than reading them and deleting them straight away."
i don't have any idea what you mean? none of that sentence makes any sense at all. |
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"OP, do you perhaps mean closed minded to you?
Quite possibly. Although with not having an automatic mail delete I don't think that's the case.
what do you mean? i dont understand what you mean by 'automatic delete?
As in many read my messages. But rarely reply.
Rather than reading them and deleting them straight away.
i don't have any idea what you mean? none of that sentence makes any sense at all."
When a woman reads a message and does not reply.(this indicates some interest)
Or
(What I class as an automatic mail delete)
When a woman deletes the message. (This indicated absolutely no interest)
Hope that makes more sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, do you perhaps mean closed minded to you?
Quite possibly. Although with not having an automatic mail delete I don't think that's the case.
what do you mean? i dont understand what you mean by 'automatic delete?
As in many read my messages. But rarely reply.
Rather than reading them and deleting them straight away.
i don't have any idea what you mean? none of that sentence makes any sense at all.
When a woman reads a message and does not reply.(this indicates some interest)
Or
(What I class as an automatic mail delete)
When a woman deletes the message. (This indicated absolutely no interest)
Hope that makes more sense. "
no, not really. so if a woman reads a message, but doesnt reply, but does not instantly delete it, you think she is interested? seriously?..so do you then message again, just to check? |
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"OP, do you perhaps mean closed minded to you?
Quite possibly. Although with not having an automatic mail delete I don't think that's the case.
what do you mean? i dont understand what you mean by 'automatic delete?
As in many read my messages. But rarely reply.
Rather than reading them and deleting them straight away.
i don't have any idea what you mean? none of that sentence makes any sense at all.
When a woman reads a message and does not reply.(this indicates some interest)
Or
(What I class as an automatic mail delete)
When a woman deletes the message. (This indicated absolutely no interest)
Hope that makes more sense.
no, not really. so if a woman reads a message, but doesnt reply, but does not instantly delete it, you think she is interested? seriously?..so do you then message again, just to check?"
I think we are slightly off topic here. I was just explaining what I meant by an auto delete.
If I were to get a mail from someone who I have absolutely no interest in then to be fair I would reply (and have today in fact to a ts but thanking for the interest) then delete the message.
If I were interested them I would not delete the message. That way I can get in touch with that person quickly and when they were online next.
That's just me tho. Maybe I'm too nice??  |
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"OP, do you perhaps mean closed minded to you?
Quite possibly. Although with not having an automatic mail delete I don't think that's the case.
what do you mean? i dont understand what you mean by 'automatic delete?
As in many read my messages. But rarely reply.
Rather than reading them and deleting them straight away.
i don't have any idea what you mean? none of that sentence makes any sense at all.
When a woman reads a message and does not reply.(this indicates some interest)
Or
(What I class as an automatic mail delete)
When a woman deletes the message. (This indicated absolutely no interest)
Hope that makes more sense.
no, not really. so if a woman reads a message, but doesnt reply, but does not instantly delete it, you think she is interested? seriously?..so do you then message again, just to check?"
I don't message them again. Should I? I'm not in the business of being blocked. Is this where I'm going wrong? And missed out on this wonderful world by not writing a followup message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, do you perhaps mean closed minded to you?
Quite possibly. Although with not having an automatic mail delete I don't think that's the case.
what do you mean? i dont understand what you mean by 'automatic delete?
As in many read my messages. But rarely reply.
Rather than reading them and deleting them straight away.
i don't have any idea what you mean? none of that sentence makes any sense at all.
When a woman reads a message and does not reply.(this indicates some interest)
Or
(What I class as an automatic mail delete)
When a woman deletes the message. (This indicated absolutely no interest)
Hope that makes more sense.
no, not really. so if a woman reads a message, but doesnt reply, but does not instantly delete it, you think she is interested? seriously?..so do you then message again, just to check?
I think we are slightly off topic here. I was just explaining what I meant by an auto delete.
If I were to get a mail from someone who I have absolutely no interest in then to be fair I would reply (and have today in fact to a ts but thanking for the interest) then delete the message.
If I were interested them I would not delete the message. That way I can get in touch with that person quickly and when they were online next.
That's just me tho. Maybe I'm too nice?? "
no,its not off topic,you specifically said you wanted to find out what else might be hindering you...if someone does not reply,they are not interested. that should be crystal clear to anyone. it makes no sense to then decide that people are 'close minded' for not wanting to meet 'newbies'...seems a very odd and entirley baseless conclusion to come to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
and no, you should definitely not message them again. if someone is interested ,they will reply. if they dont, then you can safely assume they aren't.when or whether they decide to delete the message is pretty irrelevant if they don't reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, do you perhaps mean closed minded to you?
Quite possibly. Although with not having an automatic mail delete I don't think that's the case.
"
Then concentrate on you. |
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"OP, do you perhaps mean closed minded to you?
Quite possibly. Although with not having an automatic mail delete I don't think that's the case.
what do you mean? i dont understand what you mean by 'automatic delete?
As in many read my messages. But rarely reply.
Rather than reading them and deleting them straight away.
i don't have any idea what you mean? none of that sentence makes any sense at all.
When a woman reads a message and does not reply.(this indicates some interest)
Or
(What I class as an automatic mail delete)
When a woman deletes the message. (This indicated absolutely no interest)
Hope that makes more sense.
no, not really. so if a woman reads a message, but doesnt reply, but does not instantly delete it, you think she is interested? seriously?..so do you then message again, just to check?
I think we are slightly off topic here. I was just explaining what I meant by an auto delete.
If I were to get a mail from someone who I have absolutely no interest in then to be fair I would reply (and have today in fact to a ts but thanking for the interest) then delete the message.
If I were interested them I would not delete the message. That way I can get in touch with that person quickly and when they were online next.
That's just me tho. Maybe I'm too nice??
no,its not off topic,you specifically said you wanted to find out what else might be hindering you...if someone does not reply,they are not interested. that should be crystal clear to anyone. it makes no sense to then decide that people are 'close minded' for not wanting to meet 'newbies'...seems a very odd and entirley baseless conclusion to come to."
Well that's fair enough. And I am not disagreeing with you. Hey this is what the forums are for.
What does not help is the number of people close to me who put if you have not had a few veries then don't bother. This DID not help the conclusion.
I have had one verification by one meet.
Hey. If I'm wrong I'm wrong. As you can tell I'm new to this so don't shoot me
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Burn him with fire!!!!!
How dare he pose a question "
there was no question;just a statement of something he said he had experienced, then went on to say he hadn't in fact experienced it at all.. |
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"Burn him with fire!!!!!
How dare he pose a question
there was no question;just a statement of something he said he had experienced, then went on to say he hadn't in fact experienced it at all.."
OK maybe I had not worded it the right way. If you people read what I have put in here I'm open minded about this. I'm happy to be wrong in this.
|
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"Bit of a strange one here.
I am picky on the women I message on here. Personally I think that's a good thing BUT I have found that 99% of the women on here are only looking for veterans.
OK fair enough. Although does this hinder the growing younger population of swingers nsa fun noobs coming through.
OK granted Im not the greatest looking guy on here and refuse to put a cock pic up but it does seem interesting.
(Don't think I'm complaining I'm just wandering if anyone else has noticed this)
Veterans? Jeepers that's a funny way of putting it!
are these the ones with medals for so many people shagged? "
I'm wondering at what age i would be considered a Veteran? |
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"Burn him with fire!!!!!
How dare he pose a question
I'm already on fire here.
(Pssst, offer them cake. It's the only way to get out alive once they start circling...)
Mr ddc"
Cheers for the advise...
Free cake anyone?????
Actually.... free Krispy Kremes? |
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"Bit of a strange one here.
I am picky on the women I message on here. Personally I think that's a good thing BUT I have found that 99% of the women on here are only looking for veterans.
OK fair enough. Although does this hinder the growing younger population of swingers nsa fun noobs coming through.
OK granted Im not the greatest looking guy on here and refuse to put a cock pic up but it does seem interesting.
(Don't think I'm complaining I'm just wandering if anyone else has noticed this)
Veterans? Jeepers that's a funny way of putting it!
are these the ones with medals for so many people shagged?
I'm wondering at what age i would be considered a Veteran? "
By veteran swinger I mean.
1. A decent amount of varies
2. Been here for ages
3. Always on campus
4. Often at clubs
Think that covers vet status  |
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"Burn him with fire!!!!!
How dare he pose a question
there was no question;just a statement of something he said he had experienced, then went on to say he hadn't in fact experienced it at all.."
There was a question....in the brackets he asked if none else had experienced similar to what he had posted about. You seem very aggressive towards him, has he upset you in any way? |
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"Burn him with fire!!!!!
How dare he pose a question
there was no question;just a statement of something he said he had experienced, then went on to say he hadn't in fact experienced it at all..
There was a question....in the brackets he asked if none else had experienced similar to what he had posted about. You seem very aggressive towards him, has he upset you in any way? "
Yeah. Think it's because I did not put the question in the post title or something.
Woo hoo.. backup
Thanks.
|
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"Burn him with fire!!!!!
How dare he pose a question
there was no question;just a statement of something he said he had experienced, then went on to say he hadn't in fact experienced it at all..
There was a question....in the brackets he asked if none else had experienced similar to what he had posted about. You seem very aggressive towards him, has he upset you in any way?
Yeah. Think it's because I did not put the question in the post title or something.
Woo hoo.. backup
Thanks.
"
No worries, it wasn't worded brilliantly and no punctuation used to show there was a question but it wasn't really that hard to work out.
Yes, I do think more people are looking for people to be verified before they start talking to them which can seem like a bit of a catch 22.
Personally I would stop looking at my sent items to see who has read or deleted what. If you get a reply message in your inbox that's all the evidence you need. You'll drive yourself crazy if you look to see if it's been read or deleted or not. Not everyone manages their inbox in the same way.
Good on you for standing by your no cock pick thing, to some women that important although personally I like to see what I'm gonna be gettingy lips round lol
Just keep plugging away, be polite be individual to their profile sell your self bit don't over sell yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Burn him with fire!!!!!
How dare he pose a question
there was no question;just a statement of something he said he had experienced, then went on to say he hadn't in fact experienced it at all..
There was a question....in the brackets he asked if none else had experienced similar to what he had posted about. You seem very aggressive towards him, has he upset you in any way?
Yeah. Think it's because I did not put the question in the post title or something.
Woo hoo.. backup
Thanks.
not aggressive,more nit -picking really..couldn't see what he's trying to get at at all..
"
|
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"Bit of a strange one here.
I am picky on the women I message on here. Personally I think that's a good thing BUT I have found that 99% of the women on here are only looking for veterans.
OK fair enough. Although does this hinder the growing younger population of swingers nsa fun noobs coming through.
OK granted Im not the greatest looking guy on here and refuse to put a cock pic up but it does seem interesting.
(Don't think I'm complaining I'm just wandering if anyone else has noticed this)
Veterans? Jeepers that's a funny way of putting it!
are these the ones with medals for so many people shagged?
I'm wondering at what age i would be considered a Veteran?
By veteran swinger I mean.
1. A decent amount of varies
2. Been here for ages
3. Always on campus
4. Often at clubs
Think that covers vet status "
 Good answer.
Sounds like i'm a fab vet. |
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For what it's worth, OP, our experience is that there are some people who like meeting younger people, there are some who don't because they have kids of a similar age. I couldn't put a percentage on it, but I would guess that many people on here fall outwith many people's age preferences. You just have to concentrate on the ones where you are compatible.
And Fabio is right, try not to see failure as someone else not letting you get some, but rather see it as confirmation that you haven't yet got it right yourself. We've only ever sent out 5 pm's looking for a meet, and every one was deleted unanswered.
Personally, the advice you were given last time about trying a club is worth revisiting. |
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This is more what I was looking for. Cheers guys. The last few comments have been constructive. Thanks.
As far as the clubs are concerned. I would love to go to one. Would rather have someone else to come with for the first time. Just to get to know it a little.
Call me scared... yes.
I have visions of everyone snagging in every corner of the place
Which is cool but for the first time would be like OMG...
FUCK FEST |
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Don't waste time looking to see if a message has been read or not. It makes not one iota of difference and will only serve to feed the disillusionment monster that hides beneath a thin veneer of fab confidence. |
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