FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Am i being too sensitive?
Am i being too sensitive?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
"
Depends if she's single .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
"
In what way? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It wasn't really his fault though surely? If she wants to not confuse her kids she should make sure he's out before they wake up!"
Well he knew they were upstairs when he went round.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
In what way?"
Thought he wouldnt be that kinda guy. Slate me if you wish but id not be desperate enough to shag someone while kids are sleeping.
Its just a NO NO for me |
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"It wasn't really his fault though surely? If she wants to not confuse her kids she should make sure he's out before they wake up!
Well he knew they were upstairs when he went round.. "
If you ask me the mother is in the wrong for inviting a man round for sex with her children upstairs 
How is that his fault? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It bothers some folk but not others. I'm a single
Mum and wouldn't meet anyone if they were in the house, cos these days you can't be too careful and at the end of the day my kids come first and my sexual needs come second, but everyone is different.
Did she already know him beforehand or was it a one night stand kind of thing?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It wasn't really his fault though surely? If she wants to not confuse her kids she should make sure he's out before they wake up!
Well he knew they were upstairs when he went round..
If you ask me the mother is in the wrong for inviting a man round for sex with her children upstairs
How is that his fault?"
Well he knew they were there,, and still went round.. so yes i think it gives him some accountability too
Others may see no issue,, but as a friend of mine i was shocked he would do that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wasn't really his fault though surely? If she wants to not confuse her kids she should make sure he's out before they wake up!
Well he knew they were upstairs when he went round..
If you ask me the mother is in the wrong for inviting a man round for sex with her children upstairs
How is that his fault?"
Totally agree. He's done nothing wrong bar not get up early enough. Surely he would be called a arse if he scarpared as she slept |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wasn't really his fault though surely? If she wants to not confuse her kids she should make sure he's out before they wake up!
Well he knew they were upstairs when he went round..
If you ask me the mother is in the wrong for inviting a man round for sex with her children upstairs
How is that his fault?
Well he knew they were there,, and still went round.. so yes i think it gives him some accountability too
Others may see no issue,, but as a friend of mine i was shocked he would do that "
Did he go round fir the sole purpose of sex? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It bothers some folk but not others. I'm a single
Mum and wouldn't meet anyone if they were in the house, cos these days you can't be too careful and at the end of the day my kids come first and my sexual needs come second, but everyone is different.
Did she already know him beforehand or was it a one night stand kind of thing?
"
They had met for coffee once or twice i believe..
Id still not meet with the children at home.. like the title of the thread said.. perhaps im just sensitive |
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"It bothers some folk but not others. I'm a single
Mum and wouldn't meet anyone if they were in the house, cos these days you can't be too careful and at the end of the day my kids come first and my sexual needs come second, but everyone is different.
Did she already know him beforehand or was it a one night stand kind of thing?
They had met for coffee once or twice i believe..
Id still not meet with the children at home.. like the title of the thread said.. perhaps im just sensitive "
Then if you wouldn't do what the mother did surely you can see that the man was not in the wrong, she invited him don't forget |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have your standards
He has his
His meet has hers
As long as he treats you and your rules with respect, I don't think it's really anything to get worked up about. |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
I don't think you're being too sensitive. Swinging and children don't mix. If he knew they were in the house, then he shouldn't have played. Certainly he shouldn't have stayed the night and met the children. Meeting someone's children (young children, I'm assuming?) should only be for if/when there is a strong likelihood that the relationship will be a permanent one. |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Op is it because you didn't expect him to go for a shag and stay the night or because it was while the children were home.. Did he know beforehand they would be there.
Maybe he was in the moment one thing lead to an other and stayed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Things like that piss me off. I won't even let a man in my home when my kids are not here. No way would I ever bring a duck find into my home with them there. That is just so terribly wrong "
well its nice to know im not alone in my thinking.. we are just the minority  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunate for the children to be involed but sometimes things progress quicker than expected, and if "it's" there between them, good luck to them I say. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Op is it because you didn't expect him to go for a shag and stay the night or because it was while the children were home.. Did he know beforehand they would be there.
Maybe he was in the moment one thing lead to an other and stayed. "
I know he's a jack the lad type and ive no issues with casual sex.. its fun
it was that he played while he was aware there were children in the house and that doesnt sit right with me .. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have your standards
He has his
His meet has hers
As long as he treats you and your rules with respect, I don't think it's really anything to get worked up about."
Just surprised thats all and yes he has gone down in my opinion of him.. but hey ho |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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Many many people dont tell you their kids are in the house. Some even tell you they aint in the house only to discover they are.
All in though when my mates have sexual liasons with others it's their business and whoever their with, not mine |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Many many people dont tell you their kids are in the house. Some even tell you they aint in the house only to discover they are.
All in though when my mates have sexual liasons with others it's their business and whoever their with, not mine "
oh absolutely he can do as he pleases.. im not disputing that fact at all.
From knowing him just surprised me that he would meet a woman with kids in her home. |
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I'm taking it they didn't draw labelled diagrams for the kids in the morning ?
None of us know what happened. He may have just got up and said 'morning' or 'bye' as he left.
Most people don't want to meet the children and the parent doesn't want the children to meet them.
Maybe they were VERY adult about it and mum made an excuse about the man as he left.
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Op is it because you didn't expect him to go for a shag and stay the night or because it was while the children were home.. Did he know beforehand they would be there.
Maybe he was in the moment one thing lead to an other and stayed.
I know he's a jack the lad type and ive no issues with casual sex.. its fun
it was that he played while he was aware there were children in the house and that doesnt sit right with me .. "
That's fair enough.. You have a right to your opinion.
I'll be honest I have played when the children were younger but was very careful and never let the children meet until we decided on a relationship and we are still together. I loved Dick from the start so I knew we'd be together. |
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"
If you ask me the mother is in the wrong for inviting a man round for sex with her children upstairs
How is that his fault?"
Personally we wouldn't want swinger strangers wandering around our house if the kids were at home, and I certainly wouldn't be able to sleep. But as the mother it is her call, and her call alone.
As for sex being a big no-no while kids are at home, I'm not sure I could have gone without for 20 years....
Not sure if it's 'sensitivity' or a little bit of jealousy perhaps?
Mr ddc |
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"Things like that piss me off. I won't even let a man in my home when my kids are not here. No way would I ever bring a duck find into my home with them there. That is just so terribly wrong
well its nice to know im not alone in my thinking.. we are just the minority "
Except this isn't the same. This is the view of a mother with her kids at home.
You are judging the guy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
If you ask me the mother is in the wrong for inviting a man round for sex with her children upstairs
How is that his fault?
Personally we wouldn't want swinger strangers wandering around our house if the kids were at home, and I certainly wouldn't be able to sleep. But as the mother it is her call, and her call alone.
As for sex being a big no-no while kids are at home, I'm not sure I could have gone without for 20 years....
Not sure if it's 'sensitivity' or a little bit of jealousy perhaps?
Mr ddc"
jealousy of what? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Things like that piss me off. I won't even let a man in my home when my kids are not here. No way would I ever bring a duck find into my home with them there. That is just so terribly wrong
well its nice to know im not alone in my thinking.. we are just the minority
Except this isn't the same. This is the view of a mother with her kids at home.
You are judging the guy."
and i was agreeing with her that i wouldnt let a man into my home while my child was sleeping. I agree'd that i thought it was wrong..
which is why it doesnt sit right that a man is happy enough to go into another womans home knowing children are sleeping and have sex |
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Mr ddc
jealousy of what? "
You tell me, you're the one getting worked up because a male friend let you down by having sex with someone in a scenario where both adults were happy.
I just don't see, in a NSA, swingy kind of way, how it is anything to do with you.
Sorry. |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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"Many many people dont tell you their kids are in the house. Some even tell you they aint in the house only to discover they are.
All in though when my mates have sexual liasons with others it's their business and whoever their with, not mine
oh absolutely he can do as he pleases.. im not disputing that fact at all.
From knowing him just surprised me that he would meet a woman with kids in her home. "
I seriously wouldnt worry about this instance involving you mate or any instance involving any other mate in general.
'Conscenting adults' unless it's a case of nosing other people's sex lives and based on that questioning or judging them on it.
Unless I was breaking the law, well out've order and needing reining in I'd be giving such mates the spanish archer (el'bow) for nosing and judging me around my private life. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Mr ddc
jealousy of what?
You tell me, you're the one getting worked up because a male friend let you down by having sex with someone in a scenario where both adults were happy.
I just don't see, in a NSA, swingy kind of way, how it is anything to do with you.
Sorry."
lol its absolutely nothing to do with me..
but as someone i thought i knew quite well i was surprised to find that he'd sleep with a woman with children in the property
Its something i do not agree with and thought he was of similar mindset.. but clearly we have different opinions on whats acceptable and not,, which is why my opinion has changed.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Case of the green eyed monster 1 thinks 
jealous of what? lol
Your mates been getting some  "
lol if i wanted it,, im sure there are hundreds desperate enough on here to give it to me |
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It's your moral compass that it's wrong to have sex with someone he has met (do you know the in's and out's of their relationship) you cannot expect others to live by the same moral compass as you...it's their life but I don't think it's fair to judge when maybe you don't know the full story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My friend did that while on here, the guy she met ended up helping to feed her kids - at the time 6months and coming up for 2. Never introduced her to any guys since that. The poor guy didn't know what to say, safe to assume they didn't meet again as she got all loved up since. Thank god! |
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It is worth repeating though, that you're thinking of it wrt being the mother, and I agree with you 100% on that, (unless a serious relationship is in the offing).
I just disagree with projecting that view onto the man/non-parent. |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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"Case of the green eyed monster 1 thinks
jealous of what? lol
Your mates been getting some
lol if i wanted it,, im sure there are hundreds desperate enough on here to give it to me "
Your here discussing your mates private/sex life with others and now jumped on the chance of calling others desperate's lmfao.
Fairplay what a tedious schoolyard outlook  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have your standards
He has his
His meet has hers
As long as he treats you and your rules with respect, I don't think it's really anything to get worked up about."
This. So long as no children were in danger it's nobody's business but theirs. We all might think well that's not something we would or wouldn't do. If you feel that strongly about it, cut contact with your friend. He'd probably be glad to have one less judge in his life. |
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"
Mr ddc
jealousy of what?
You tell me, you're the one getting worked up because a male friend let you down by having sex with someone in a scenario where both adults were happy.
I just don't see, in a NSA, swingy kind of way, how it is anything to do with you.
Sorry.
lol its absolutely nothing to do with me..
but as someone i thought i knew quite well i was surprised to find that he'd sleep with a woman with children in the property
Its something i do not agree with and thought he was of similar mindset.. but clearly we have different opinions on whats acceptable and not,, which is why my opinion has changed.
"
It's absolutely nothing to do with you, you said it yourself
Give the guy a break |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I wouldn't host someone with my kids upstairs & I wouldn't go to another's (in a NSA way) to have sex if their kids were at home.
Would my opinion change of my friend, I like to think not over one incident.
I would however be rolling my eyes in disapproval when he told me. |
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"So guessing a lot of you think its fine to sleep with someone while the kids are sleeping then? "
It's not that simple C n N ......
I'd never bring a stranger into my home while my children were there. FULL STOP.
Would I have sex with someone I knew while my children were at home ? YES if they were small enough not to know what was going on and usually slept through solidly and the person was gone that same night.
Do people go further than they meant to and find themselves doing things they thought they wouldn't ...... yes they do.
You and he couldn't have had that much of a freindship if you lower your opinion of him so quickly.......... acknowledge his behaviour differs from yours...... acknowledge it suprised you .... nothing else is necessary. |
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"Personally I wouldn't host someone with my kids upstairs & I wouldn't go to another's (in a NSA way) to have sex if their kids were at home.
Would my opinion change of my friend, I like to think not over one incident.
I would however be rolling my eyes in disapproval when he told me."
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"So guessing a lot of you think its fine to sleep with someone while the kids are sleeping then? "
Have you been reading the replies?
Hardly anyone has said that, most of us are saying is that it's their business and not yours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here's how I see it .
A single mum meets a guy and has sex with him in her house while the kids are sleeping .
They see him in the morning .
So what ?
How else is a single mum supposed to have fun , or is she supposed to remain celibate ?
It's all good as far as I can see . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So guessing a lot of you think its fine to sleep with someone while the kids are sleeping then? "
I think just because people are questioning why it bothers you so much doesn;t mean that they'd do it themselves, just that they aren't going to judge them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I wonder what your non swinger friends would think if they knew you were on a swinger site. Do you tell them?
Judge not lest ye be judged. Or something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Must have been lovely for the children to see a strange man in their house first thing in the morning x"
Perhaps they have been brought up to understand that non-monogamy is ok.
My friends three year old understands that mummy and daddy both like more than one person. |
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"Must have been lovely for the children to see a strange man in their house first thing in the morning x
Perhaps they have been brought up to understand that non-monogamy is ok.
My friends three year old understands that mummy and daddy both like more than one person."
yes there are worst things you can do, depending on who you meet and how careful you are. |
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"Things like that piss me off. I won't even let a man in my home when my kids are not here. No way would I ever bring a duck find into my home with them there. That is just so terribly wrong
well its nice to know im not alone in my thinking.. we are just the minority "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So guessing a lot of you think its fine to sleep with someone while the kids are sleeping then? "
Not necessarily, but I don't think it's up to me the judge a person and lower my expectation of them because they did one thing that doesn't sit easy with me - especially when that one thing has no effect on me or my life in any way, shape or form and the person has always played by my rules when in my company. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow considering morals on here lol 
Honestly how many times I been ask but guys do I need cuddle when my child is in bed hmm many times
Did I ever agree no fucking way
Mother is on wrong in my opinion why cos she clearly don't care what's she done .expose her kids to meeting her fuck fella
It's up to mother to protect kids .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So guessing a lot of you think its fine to sleep with someone while the kids are sleeping then? "
Theres 4 in our house every night, yh we have some mind blowing sex while our babies sleep!? Are we in the wrong? |
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have you never had anyone over when your little one was there and induldged in sexual activity, maybe not sex but foreplay etc?
i have had meets with people when their children were asleep. some i knew about others i only found out about when one of the walked in on me starkers sat on the lav  (was not best pleased with that one!)
is it the sex whilst the kids were asleep or the fact that he overstayed and so met them the next day that bothers you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was this a Fab meet?
Would you have been pissed off if your friend went round to keep her company whilst her kids were in bed but didn't have sex with her?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reminds me of a quote I heard "You're kids don't need to meet every man you date, neither does your vagina", I'm getting half of that right. As for a fuck meeting your kids, makes me cringe but that's up to her not him, he's thinking with his little head |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So guessing a lot of you think its fine to sleep with someone while the kids are sleeping then?
Theres 4 in our house every night, yh we have some mind blowing sex while our babies sleep!? Are we in the wrong? "
no.. i just think theres a massive difference between being in a relationship and having sex and then being single and having single men in and out..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Reminds me of a quote I heard "You're kids don't need to meet every man you date, neither does your vagina", I'm getting half of that right. As for a fuck meeting your kids, makes me cringe but that's up to her not him, he's thinking with his little head "
Spot on. |
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"So guessing a lot of you think its fine to sleep with someone while the kids are sleeping then?
Theres 4 in our house every night, yh we have some mind blowing sex while our babies sleep!? Are we in the wrong?
no.. i just think theres a massive difference between being in a relationship and having sex and then being single and having single men in and out..
"
do you know that she is having men in and out or do you just know that she had this one man in and out? |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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If I was landing on swinging websites to discuss the nothing to do with me sex lives of non swinging 'friends' I'd like to think I might have the ability to have a word with myself.
One of many episodes of how everyone else should live according to someone else no doubt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So guessing a lot of you think its fine to sleep with someone while the kids are sleeping then?
Theres 4 in our house every night, yh we have some mind blowing sex while our babies sleep!? Are we in the wrong?
no.. i just think theres a massive difference between being in a relationship and having sex and then being single and having single men in and out..
"
Fair play, but to me this is down to the mother of the children and not your friend, my best friend slept with another guy behind her hubbys back, I despise cheating but shes my friend and im wasnt about to judge her...we have a solid friendship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
In what way?
Thought he wouldnt be that kinda guy. Slate me if you wish but id not be desperate enough to shag someone while kids are sleeping.
Its just a NO NO for me "
I understand. I would feel the same. Sorry ladies but why would you invite a stranger into the home when your kids were sleeping upstairs.
Different standards |
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I once had a girl who didn't think nothing of it to make a move on me while her 4 year old boy was sleeping 4ft away, that was a big no for me. Its like get some class please.some people just don't care. As for the scenario you say if he thought they was asleep up stairs you can't be too hard on him, she is the one to blame mainly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
In what way?
Thought he wouldnt be that kinda guy. Slate me if you wish but id not be desperate enough to shag someone while kids are sleeping.
Its just a NO NO for me
I understand. I would feel the same. Sorry ladies but why would you invite a stranger into the home when your kids were sleeping upstairs.
Different standards "
He wasn't a stranger, he'd been on several dates with her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I wouldn't host someone with my kids upstairs & I wouldn't go to another's (in a NSA way) to have sex if their kids were at home.
Would my opinion change of my friend, I like to think not over one incident.
I would however be rolling my eyes in disapproval when he told me."
My sentiments exactly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op I'm pissed at my friend also.
He had sex in a car... What a cheap bastard .
I thought he was better than that
Don't judge your friends. Because you don't want them to judge you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he is not a stranger and they had a couple of coffee dates. Presumably they have talked and texted in the meantimes. She feels comfortable and trusts him enough to bring him into her home while the kids are in bed. It leads to sex. Its not her intention for him to be there when the kids wake up but it happens....
Shit happens i cant see the big deal if she called it a date and they were seeing eachother would that really make a difference?
When i was younger and the whole seeing not going out thing started that was casual sex without a definite relationship. Thats all this is isnt it?
Why on a swingers site do we still believe that only manogamous relationships are ok and teach that its only ok to have sex with someone after certain tick boxes have been checked.
For me if she trusted him around her children then that should be reason enough. It may not be your way of doing thibgs and thats ok. But i think yes your seeing this on a certain light that puts a seedyness on it that need not be there.
Single mothers dont have to be celibate or manogamous. X |
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"I don't think you're being too sensitive. Swinging and children don't mix. If he knew they were in the house, then he shouldn't have played. Certainly he shouldn't have stayed the night and met the children. Meeting someone's children (young children, I'm assuming?) should only be for if/when there is a strong likelihood that the relationship will be a permanent one."
That's hardly his concern. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Oh the irony, people being judgmental of someone for being judgemental, if the op has an opinion, that's her opinion, can't help feeling she's been jumped on a little, but that's MY opinion.
As for sleeping with someone while kids are in the house, I personally think it's not ideal, I wouldn't want my son to meet anyone in those circumstances, it's confusing for them, if I was meeting someone regular I wouldn't have a problem with them knowing one of daddies friends, but I don't want him coming down stairs and seeing me spooning someone, or even worse forking
It's all down to the individual, I personally don't want to mix my sex life with parenting, I'm a parent first, but what's good for me, myself get not work for someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
In what way?
Thought he wouldnt be that kinda guy. Slate me if you wish but id not be desperate enough to shag someone while kids are sleeping.
Its just a NO NO for me
I understand. I would feel the same. Sorry ladies but why would you invite a stranger into the home when your kids were sleeping upstairs.
Different standards "
Same. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"So guessing a lot of you think its fine to sleep with someone while the kids are sleeping then? "
I don't , no. If we were swinging when the kids were little it would have been in hotels.
The issue for you is you thought your friend had the same idea, he obviously doesn't. there is not much you can do about that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't do it not do I agree with it.
A couple of coffee dates does not mean you know someone, what would happen if that person was a pedofile etc.
Swinging is an adult game and shouldn't be anywhere near childen.
|
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"I wouldn't do it not do I agree with it.
A couple of coffee dates does not mean you know someone, what would happen if that person was a pedofile etc.
Swinging is an adult game and shouldn't be anywhere near childen.
"
Im just imagining hes a nice normal guy, not everyones daft enough to invite a nasty person to their house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't do it not do I agree with it.
A couple of coffee dates does not mean you know someone, what would happen if that person was a pedofile etc.
Swinging is an adult game and shouldn't be anywhere near childen.
Im just imagining hes a nice normal guy, not everyones daft enough to invite a nasty person to their house."
Bit how do you know that after a couple
Of coffee dates? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Personally I wouldn't host someone with my kids upstairs & I wouldn't go to another's (in a NSA way) to have sex if their kids were at home.
Would my opinion change of my friend, I like to think not over one incident.
I would however be rolling my eyes in disapproval when he told me."
|
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"I wouldn't do it not do I agree with it.
A couple of coffee dates does not mean you know someone, what would happen if that person was a pedofile etc.
Swinging is an adult game and shouldn't be anywhere near childen.
Im just imagining hes a nice normal guy, not everyones daft enough to invite a nasty person to their house.
Bit how do you know that after a couple
Of coffee dates? "
you cant put your life on hold just because you have kids. most people I have met are ok, its not as if he was moving in with them. If he was a friend of cute and sassy he couldn't of been that bad could he? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't do it not do I agree with it.
A couple of coffee dates does not mean you know someone, what would happen if that person was a pedofile etc.
Swinging is an adult game and shouldn't be anywhere near childen.
"
I don;t think they were swingers, just 2 people that had been on a couple of dates? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet "
The op knows of a couple of coffee dates. Thats not to say thats all theres been.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet "
How many coffees should it take to invite someone to bed? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet "
I wonder whether this is because many of us engage in a sexual meet after nothing more than chatting on here and coffee meet?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet "
Of course not, but that is how dating works. You meet you go for coffee or a meal or a dink, you talk on line/text/whatsapp etc, and at somepoint you invite them to your home.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
Of course not, but that is how dating works. You meet you go for coffee or a meal or a dink, you talk on line/text/whatsapp etc, and at somepoint you invite them to your home.
"
And to me so far correct me if im wrong op but theres no indication it was nsa. Or that he even went round to have sex yes it happened but nothing says it was a nsa sex meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh the irony, people being judgmental of someone for being judgemental, if the op has an opinion, that's her opinion, can't help feeling she's been jumped on a little, but that's MY opinion.
As for sleeping with someone while kids are in the house, I personally think it's not ideal, I wouldn't want my son to meet anyone in those circumstances, it's confusing for them, if I was meeting someone regular I wouldn't have a problem with them knowing one of daddies friends, but I don't want him coming down stairs and seeing me spooning someone, or even worse forking
It's all down to the individual, I personally don't want to mix my sex life with parenting, I'm a parent first, but what's good for me, myself get not work for someone else."
Same as above for me so I don't think you are being sensitive OP but that's my opinion xx |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
The op knows of a couple of coffee dates. Thats not to say thats all theres been.."
But that is what I and others are commenting on. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
How many coffees should it take to invite someone to bed?"
You can have as many or as little coffees as you want.
I was responding to the people who sound naive that think they know someone after a couple of coffees. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
I wonder whether this is because many of us engage in a sexual meet after nothing more than chatting on here and coffee meet?
"
Thats not what I commented on. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
Of course not, but that is how dating works. You meet you go for coffee or a meal or a dink, you talk on line/text/whatsapp etc, and at somepoint you invite them to your home.
"
And you don't know them. I think all these people commenting on my post are missing the point totally.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
How many coffees should it take to invite someone to bed?
You can have as many or as little coffees as you want.
I was responding to the people who sound naive that think they know someone after a couple of coffees."
I'm not sure you ever know people you meet in an NSA way that well.
I've known a guy casually for over 4 years & he still manages to make me think 'really, I never knew that'! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
Of course not, but that is how dating works. You meet you go for coffee or a meal or a dink, you talk on line/text/whatsapp etc, and at somepoint you invite them to your home.
"
Kids complicate things, especially when they're young. I would have wanted my kid to meet any possible SO before she found me in bed with them, not after. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Must have been lovely for the children to see a strange man in their house first thing in the morning x
Perhaps they have been brought up to understand that non-monogamy is ok.
My friends three year old understands that mummy and daddy both like more than one person."
Even as an adult I would shit myself if I saw a stranger walking about my house first thing in the morning never mind being 3 years old lol x |
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By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
There was a fab couple (unlos now) who used to hold parties with their children ensconced upstairs, it did not seem right somehow.
The comments from some of the (usually)PCC self righteous on here are rather surprising.
Mmmmmm |
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you could wait until your kids grow up before you invite men round for sex, trouble is they may not leave home and when they do they might come back again.
they may not go out that often and have their friends home every evening too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
Of course not, but that is how dating works. You meet you go for coffee or a meal or a dink, you talk on line/text/whatsapp etc, and at somepoint you invite them to your home.
And you don't know them. I think all these people commenting on my post are missing the point totally.
"
Are they missing your point?
Or choosing to ignore it ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
The op knows of a couple of coffee dates. Thats not to say thats all theres been..
But that is what I and others are commenting on."
Im not sure i understand what your saying. They dont know them after a couple of coffees. But after a couple of coffees, texts, phones calls etc they may feel they know them well enough to invite them round.
Im not sure thats what you mean though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
"
Way too much assumption and bigotry going on. You dont know the mother, the children, or the dynamic of that family unit. There's a big difference between meeting a toddler and a rebelling teenager.
When my kids were younger, our house was almost a drop-in centre. Their mother and I would more often than not be feeding extra mouths. Only a few select visitors were playmates. The kids were sent to bed and as far as they knew mum and dad were still talking and playing cards. We had a guest room that was used at least twice a week and every weekend, so extra people at breakfast was totally normal. Again only a few of those people were playmate friends.
My eldest is now 15. They have only recently been made aware of some of what went on and that's only because it helped them answer some questions about their own sexual growth.
If you have a solid relationship with your children, who you have in your home and why should not matter. Just keep the adult activities for adult eyes only. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wasn't really his fault though surely? If she wants to not confuse her kids she should make sure he's out before they wake up!
Well he knew they were upstairs when he went round..
If you ask me the mother is in the wrong for inviting a man round for sex with her children upstairs
How is that his fault?"
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"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
In what way?
Thought he wouldnt be that kinda guy. Slate me if you wish but id not be desperate enough to shag someone while kids are sleeping.
Its just a NO NO for me "
It's not for me either, I wouldn't be comfortable being in anyone's house while the kids were there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know one thing if I was the friend in question and found out that my friend had put this here for all to discuss I wouldn't be too happy about having my private life discussed and ripped to shreds when no one knows the whole story behind this expect for the two people who are being discussed and cannot answer for themselves.
I really think that the OP is out of order posting this and if she has this much concern then surely she should speak to the people in question instead of letting 'strangers' comment on this ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know one thing if I was the friend in question and found out that my friend had put this here for all to discuss I wouldn't be too happy about having my private life discussed and ripped to shreds when no one knows the whole story behind this expect for the two people who are being discussed and cannot answer for themselves.
I really think that the OP is out of order posting this and if she has this much concern then surely she should speak to the people in question instead of letting 'strangers' comment on this ? "
1st off Fair play you have an opinion..
Surely all posts or forum topics are posted because of an event or situation.
I could have posted 'Have you ever changed an opinion on someone because they have a different outlook on situations'
The 1st post would have then been 'In what context'.. to which id have responded with pretty much my opening post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
"
Depends
Not enough information for me to make an opinion
Was it some random guy who pulled in a pub or was it somebody she knows and trusts? |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
"
From the little you have said it says far more about you being judgemental than him.
You have given very little information about the relationship your friend had with this girl. In a later post we find out he has seen her before.
For all we know they could have an ongoing relationship that has lately developed into him being able to stop over for a night.
As with most of these calls to judge we are never given the full picture |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know one thing if I was the friend in question and found out that my friend had put this here for all to discuss I wouldn't be too happy about having my private life discussed and ripped to shreds when no one knows the whole story behind this expect for the two people who are being discussed and cannot answer for themselves.
I really think that the OP is out of order posting this and if she has this much concern then surely she should speak to the people in question instead of letting 'strangers' comment on this ?
1st off Fair play you have an opinion..
Surely all posts or forum topics are posted because of an event or situation.
I could have posted 'Have you ever changed an opinion on someone because they have a different outlook on situations'
The 1st post would have then been 'In what context'.. to which id have responded with pretty much my opening post "
Yes but usually an event or situation that has affected them personally not someone else's situation.
Ask yourself this would you be very happy if you found out it was something you had done was being discussed openly in a forum like this ? I suspect not and really don't think this is the place to be discussing something like this? |
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I discuss stuff all the time in open forum. It's unlikely any of my vanilla friends would ever read it and any examples I'd use without names would mean nothing to random forum people.
I think it's absolutely fine to discuss your own feelings about situations and I'm not sure why people are getting up in arms about someone you don't know. Being offended on their behalf seems utterly pointless to me.
The OP asked if she was being too sensitive which strikes me that she felt maybe it was an odd reaction. I don't have children but I don't think I would invite someone round for sex when my kid was in bed asleep if I did. However, I'm 100% sure my parents didn't become celibate when we were born so having sex in the same house as a sleeping child isn't something to get your knickers in a twist over.
The bumping into the kids in the morning thing, I guess they both could have taken more care but it also depends on the home situation and the relationship between the Mum and her kids and indeed the relationship with the bloke and the lady. Half a story doesn't give enough info to go on for me but frankly it's none of my business even if the whole story was apparent. We all have a different moral compass and different standards, what's okay for one person isn't always okay for the next person.
I think perhaps we should all take a very quiet moment to reflect on just how perfect we are ourselves. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
The op knows of a couple of coffee dates. Thats not to say thats all theres been..
But that is what I and others are commenting on.
Im not sure i understand what your saying. They dont know them after a couple of coffees. But after a couple of coffees, texts, phones calls etc they may feel they know them well enough to invite them round.
Im not sure thats what you mean though?"
If we were talking about meeting someone for sex and letting them stay over and meet the kids in the morning after knowing the person for a while ( by that I don't mean knowing them from an odd text and phone call but to actually date them / meet them for a while )then my answer would have been different.
As it is about meeting people for sex in your house , letting them stay over and meet the children in the morning after knowing the person long enough to have a couple of coffees then I think it is very naive of people to think they know that person. |
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"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
The op knows of a couple of coffee dates. Thats not to say thats all theres been..
But that is what I and others are commenting on.
Im not sure i understand what your saying. They dont know them after a couple of coffees. But after a couple of coffees, texts, phones calls etc they may feel they know them well enough to invite them round.
Im not sure thats what you mean though?
If we were talking about meeting someone for sex and letting them stay over and meet the kids in the morning after knowing the person for a while ( by that I don't mean knowing them from an odd text and phone call but to actually date them / meet them for a while )then my answer would have been different.
As it is about meeting people for sex in your house , letting them stay over and meet the children in the morning after knowing the person long enough to have a couple of coffees then I think it is very naive of people to think they know that person."
The only viewpoint I would add to that is much depends on whether the meeting the kids was a conscious decision by the mother the day before, or whether, a little worse the wear for drink and heavy exercise, they overslept and it was an accident. If it was the former then perhaps this particular relationship is further along than the OP is aware. (It is possible he doesn't tell her everything about his life, for various reasons). It is easy on here to assume this is a swinger/nsa scenario, but the fact that the OP has repeatedly dodged that question makes me think this might just be two people starting a relationship.
Not that it changes the fact that we wouldn't let a swinger couple come over while our kids were in the house.
But as DG says, it's all speculation and supposition.
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Right so i get bitched at for asking this sodding question now im getting strung up for not answering further questions on the senario.
Cant win
He is a single man, not on this website,, but yes it was for casual sex
I know the woman in question (again not on this site) and i know the ages of all 3 of her children,, 3, 9 and 14
Through chatting to him (because i know him well) there is no intentions of a relationship its just adults having fun.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The reason why i was surprised and a tad disappointed in him, was yes because there were children in the house
He met them by accident, but in my opinion that senario for casual sex should never have happened.
No im not jealous at all,, they are adults and can crack on.. just doesnt sit well with me that children were in the premise especially when its just casual
Its ludacris to suggest couples are celibate for years when they have children. Im not saying because the woman is single she shouldnt have fun either, its not the way i would personally go about it
Arrange child care, use a hotel..
Again this is all my own views.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just found out a friend had slept with someone while her 3 kids were sleeping upstairs and then they woke up late in the morning so then met her kids
My opinion of him has just changed completely
In what way?
Thought he wouldnt be that kinda guy. Slate me if you wish but id not be desperate enough to shag someone while kids are sleeping.
Its just a NO NO for me "
I agree with you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am finding some comments are really naive, do some actually believe they know another person after a coffee meet
The op knows of a couple of coffee dates. Thats not to say thats all theres been..
But that is what I and others are commenting on.
Im not sure i understand what your saying. They dont know them after a couple of coffees. But after a couple of coffees, texts, phones calls etc they may feel they know them well enough to invite them round.
Im not sure thats what you mean though?
If we were talking about meeting someone for sex and letting them stay over and meet the kids in the morning after knowing the person for a while ( by that I don't mean knowing them from an odd text and phone call but to actually date them / meet them for a while )then my answer would have been different.
As it is about meeting people for sex in your house , letting them stay over and meet the children in the morning after knowing the person long enough to have a couple of coffees then I think it is very naive of people to think they know that person."
I think thats the thing before the op had given further details most presumed it was causual and some of us didnt. Also i would presume if it doesnt involve her then she wont know all the details of how many meets of coffee or other contact.
Depending on thr circumstances depends on where it sits with me. Its cool its not for some as i said earlier. But based on my adsumptions of a casual relationship it didnt bother me. I would just of made sure he left xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all very well to say get a sitter or arrange a hotel , but both involve a considerable cost .
It's adults having fun , and she wouldn't let a weirdo stay over would she ?
So I still maintain she hasn't done anything wrong and neither has he . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's all very well to say get a sitter or arrange a hotel , but both involve a considerable cost .
It's adults having fun , and she wouldn't let a weirdo stay over would she ?
So I still maintain she hasn't done anything wrong and neither has he ."
So agree with you on this. |
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