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Gran Canaria blog - Day Zero ....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Evening fellow swinging peeps....
I am off to PDI tomoz (gran canaria) with your old time favorate forumite peach perfection - you all love her ...you know you do!!!
Not being the biggest swinger in town - how can I be with peach perfection next to me! 
I am going to give you a highlight of my daily shenanigans or not as the case maybe....
All just a bit of fun - i hope you'll all enjoy this sarcastic, patronising & a totally different view of PDI from a not so big swinging gal.....trip advisor stand by 
Day Zero ....just stuffed what can only be described as an genetically morphed chocolate eclair the night before I fly out ..,.bikini diet doing fabulously X
Check in tomoz for day one of PDI blog & hopefully plenty of toilet selfies with hot air-hostesses ...hmmmm can I join the mile high BI - club...????..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Looking forward to this blog....we shall be there end of August for the 1st time  "
Flying out tomoz - never been to GC or a swinging resort (just my swingfields) it's going to be very entertaining to say the least for me & you shall get my open & honest opinion .....with plenty of wit & OMGs thrown in - just wish we could put pics on here as I'm Sure you would see my WTF face many times  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Looking forward to this blog....we shall be there end of August for the 1st time
Flying out tomoz - never been to GC or a swinging resort (just my swingfields) it's going to be very entertaining to say the least for me & you shall get my open & honest opinion .....with plenty of wit & OMGs thrown in - just wish we could put pics on here as I'm Sure you would see my WTF face many times "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ze Germans arze not goin to like zis!
No, loads of Germans in PDI, but they're very nice and have nice beach towels! :- "
Oh no, they don't get up at 5am & put their towels on the sunbeds do they?? Well I will just take them off & take it for my own....bit like the women I meet |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Ze Germans arze not goin to like zis!
No, loads of Germans in PDI, but they're very nice and have nice beach towels! :-
Oh no, they don't get up at 5am & put their towels on the sunbeds do they?? Well I will just take them off & take it for my own....bit like the women I meet "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking forward to this blog....we shall be there end of August for the 1st time
Flying out tomoz - never been to GC or a swinging resort (just my swingfields) it's going to be very entertaining to say the least for me & you shall get my open & honest opinion .....with plenty of wit & OMGs thrown in - just wish we could put pics on here as I'm Sure you would see my WTF face many times "
Same with us....we will be staying at La Mirage
Sounds great and will definately be a dsily read!
Definate shame u can't add pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just caught up! Finally 'persuaded ' my suitcase to shut - it is very full and very lumpy - excess baggage bill pending!
Roger Rabbit is packed and VERY excited at the thought of being wiggled about in a bit of European vag- as is Brenda bullet! Have also packed LOTS of condoms and lube - and enough lingerie to stretch from Leyland to Gran Canaria! Also some tarty dresses, 'nice' girl dresses, bikinis, enough toiletries for the whole hotel probably - and make up to make myself all pretty!! Plus euros for ALCOHOL - copious amounts of - and paracetamol for inevitable hangovers! Plus phone charger for daily 'don't I look like a silly unicorn ' selfies!
That should just about do it! ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just caught up! Finally 'persuaded ' my suitcase to shut - it is very full and very lumpy - excess baggage bill pending!
Roger Rabbit is packed and VERY excited at the thought of being wiggled about in a bit of European vag- as is Brenda bullet! Have also packed LOTS of condoms and lube - and enough lingerie to stretch from Leyland to Gran Canaria! Also some tarty dresses, 'nice' girl dresses, bikinis, enough toiletries for the whole hotel probably - and make up to make myself all pretty!! Plus euros for ALCOHOL - copious amounts of - and paracetamol for inevitable hangovers! Plus phone charger for daily 'don't I look like a silly unicorn ' selfies!
That should just about do it! ??"
Don't forget yer passport!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just caught up! Finally 'persuaded ' my suitcase to shut - it is very full and very lumpy - excess baggage bill pending!
Roger Rabbit is packed and VERY excited at the thought of being wiggled about in a bit of European vag- as is Brenda bullet! Have also packed LOTS of condoms and lube - and enough lingerie to stretch from Leyland to Gran Canaria! Also some tarty dresses, 'nice' girl dresses, bikinis, enough toiletries for the whole hotel probably - and make up to make myself all pretty!! Plus euros for ALCOHOL - copious amounts of - and paracetamol for inevitable hangovers! Plus phone charger for daily 'don't I look like a silly unicorn ' selfies!
That should just about do it! ??
Don't forget yer passport!! "
Ah!  got it now! You coming to keep me company Mr Bear??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just caught up! Finally 'persuaded ' my suitcase to shut - it is very full and very lumpy - excess baggage bill pending!
Roger Rabbit is packed and VERY excited at the thought of being wiggled about in a bit of European vag- as is Brenda bullet! Have also packed LOTS of condoms and lube - and enough lingerie to stretch from Leyland to Gran Canaria! Also some tarty dresses, 'nice' girl dresses, bikinis, enough toiletries for the whole hotel probably - and make up to make myself all pretty!! Plus euros for ALCOHOL - copious amounts of - and paracetamol for inevitable hangovers! Plus phone charger for daily 'don't I look like a silly unicorn ' selfies!
That should just about do it! ??
Don't forget yer passport!!
Ah! got it now! You coming to keep me company Mr Bear?? "
Aye! I need some sun on my cheeks!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just caught up! Finally 'persuaded ' my suitcase to shut - it is very full and very lumpy - excess baggage bill pending!
Roger Rabbit is packed and VERY excited at the thought of being wiggled about in a bit of European vag- as is Brenda bullet! Have also packed LOTS of condoms and lube - and enough lingerie to stretch from Leyland to Gran Canaria! Also some tarty dresses, 'nice' girl dresses, bikinis, enough toiletries for the whole hotel probably - and make up to make myself all pretty!! Plus euros for ALCOHOL - copious amounts of - and paracetamol for inevitable hangovers! Plus phone charger for daily 'don't I look like a silly unicorn ' selfies!
That should just about do it! ??
Don't forget yer passport!!
Ah! got it now! You coming to keep me company Mr Bear??
Aye! I need some sun on my cheeks!! "
I'm hoping to get some on all four of mine! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At Manchester airport! Wine o'clock methinks! Eastern European guy at security made me take my jacket off - offered to do a full strip for a small charge but he just smirked and said he doesn't pay! Harrumph!
Will have to find another cunning plan to fund holiday drinking! |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"At Manchester airport! Wine o'clock methinks! Eastern European guy at security made me take my jacket off - offered to do a full strip for a small charge but he just smirked and said he doesn't pay! Harrumph!
Will have to find another cunning plan to fund holiday drinking! "
I expected nothing less of you!! Good job they didn't ask you guys to empty your suitcase!!! My friend had to once, she had a massive dildo in it...For 'a friend' observed x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At Manchester airport! Wine o'clock methinks! Eastern European guy at security made me take my jacket off - offered to do a full strip for a small charge but he just smirked and said he doesn't pay! Harrumph!
Will have to find another cunning plan to fund holiday drinking!
I expected nothing less of you!! Good job they didn't ask you guys to empty your suitcase!!! My friend had to once, she had a massive dildo in it...For 'a friend' observed x"
You know me LL - I like to entertain - I was almost hoping they'd check my hand luggage! Could have educated everyone on the delights of a bullet that looks just like a lipstick - after I've explained what a clitoris is of course! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At Manchester airport! Wine o'clock methinks! Eastern European guy at security made me take my jacket off - offered to do a full strip for a small charge but he just smirked and said he doesn't pay! Harrumph!
Will have to find another cunning plan to fund holiday drinking!
I expected nothing less of you!! Good job they didn't ask you guys to empty your suitcase!!! My friend had to once, she had a massive dildo in it...For 'a friend' observed x
You know me LL - I like to entertain - I was almost hoping they'd check my hand luggage! Could have educated everyone on the delights of a bullet that looks just like a lipstick - after I've explained what a clitoris is of course! "
Zero filters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Should've sent her through with an egg.....
Still giggle at the thought of that lunch! "
Explain that one to the security guy.... Beep beep beep..... Bzzzzzzzz |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I bet you are soooooo excited. Hell, I'm excited for you!!!
Think we need to organise a fab ladies long weekend!  "
Ah love egg lunch ...brilliant
Claremaire - I don't like this game anymore - in the broadest scouse accent ever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bet you are soooooo excited. Hell, I'm excited for you!!!
Think we need to organise a fab ladies long weekend!
Ah love egg lunch ...brilliant
Claremaire - I don't like this game anymore - in the broadest scouse accent ever "
"Who the fuck has the remote?!!??!!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bet you are soooooo excited. Hell, I'm excited for you!!!
Think we need to organise a fab ladies long weekend!
Ah love egg lunch ...brilliant
Claremaire - I don't like this game anymore - in the broadest scouse accent ever "
.... Made even funnier because my 24 yr old daughter and her friend were with us - wondering why we were all doubled up laughing! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I bet you are soooooo excited. Hell, I'm excited for you!!!
Think we need to organise a fab ladies long weekend!
Ah love egg lunch ...brilliant
Claremaire - I don't like this game anymore - in the broadest scouse accent ever
"Who the fuck has the remote?!!??!!""
Hahaha ....hilarious |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"At Manchester airport! Wine o'clock methinks! Eastern European guy at security made me take my jacket off - offered to do a full strip for a small charge but he just smirked and said he doesn't pay! Harrumph!
Will have to find another cunning plan to fund holiday drinking! "
I can tell you girls are going to have a blast! Have a good flight and lots of fun on your holiday! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bet you are soooooo excited. Hell, I'm excited for you!!!
Think we need to organise a fab ladies long weekend!
Ah love egg lunch ...brilliant
Claremaire - I don't like this game anymore - in the broadest scouse accent ever
"Who the fuck has the remote?!!??!!"
Hahaha ....hilarious "
Poor girl struggled to get the fork to her mouth |
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By *B1000Couple
over a year ago
North Lakes and Manchester |
Well that was the start we expected from you two don't forget to try eternity in the Nilo centre, best on a Saturday night when the locals go as well as tourist, Ola senoritas and you will love the host/ess one hell of an arse  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well that was the start we expected from you two don't forget to try eternity in the Nilo centre, best on a Saturday night when the locals go as well as tourist, Ola senoritas and you will love the host/ess one hell of an arse "
Oh yeah ...on it tomorrow night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am languishing by the pool. Feeling a tad ropey. Alcohol is NOT my friend! 
Pulled on the plane though - a young cutie - but FQ wouldn't let me join the mile high club with him! She's a meanie! |
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"Am languishing by the pool. Feeling a tad ropey. Alcohol is NOT my friend!
Pulled on the plane though - a young cutie - but FQ wouldn't let me join the mile high club with him! She's a meanie! "
Booo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am languishing by the pool. Feeling a tad ropey. Alcohol is NOT my friend!
Pulled on the plane though - a young cutie - but FQ wouldn't let me join the mile high club with him! She's a meanie! "
Definate meanie |
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