FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I'm offended
I'm offended
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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An ex meet of mine has had a meet up every day for a few days and had no luck. So now he messages me looking to meet as he has had no luck.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr if I'm not ur first option I'm damned if I'm going to be ur last one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i know, i fucked someone off yesterday because he hadn't been in touch for 2 months. don't even care if he's been with others or not but 2 months means you're not exactly keen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i know, i fucked someone off yesterday because he hadn't been in touch for 2 months. don't even care if he's been with others or not but 2 months means you're not exactly keen."
My thoughts exactly xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just tell him you had a better offer, bye 
I told him I'd rather not fuck than fuck him again!! I could hear the ego deflation as he read it."
Did you "win"? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just tell him you had a better offer, bye
I told him I'd rather not fuck than fuck him again!! I could hear the ego deflation as he read it.
Did you "win"?"
It made me laugh which is a win in my book. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just tell him you had a better offer, bye
I told him I'd rather not fuck than fuck him again!! I could hear the ego deflation as he read it.
Did you "win"?
It made me laugh which is a win in my book."
Cool.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just tell him you had a better offer, bye
I told him I'd rather not fuck than fuck him again!! I could hear the ego deflation as he read it."
lol you bad girl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are we options though, do people necessarily know when we are available to meet?
Maybe his thought process was to make his availability known by posting a Meet & see who responded.
No pecking order, just availability. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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proud of myself for telling him what i thought though, usually i don't tell people when they piss me off coz i don't want to upset them but i'm looking after me first now and don't really care if i upset people to do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Playing Devil's Advocate here but you didn't reply to his meet request so he's not your first option either. Seems like you both see each other similarly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I don't want to meet someone; I just don't reply to their message....
Don't take any joy in putting people down. I don't get attached to people I meet, in any other way than a "friends" (most of the people I meet will send me a "whatsapp" on the odd occasion or similar... we may not speak for months, I don't tend to take offense....) If I enjoyed my time with them and they want to meet again; we would, if I didn't; we wouldn't.
If I see previous meets advertising for a meet and they can't get one; I don't take offense..... This is a swinging site, new experiences, different flavours; if they messaged me after failing to get a meet, and said "how about it" depending on my previous experience I would or wouldn't, but if I wouldn't I don't hold that I should fire an insult at them in the process.......
To each their own....
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"Are we options though, do people necessarily know when we are available to meet?
Maybe his thought process was to make his availability known by posting a Meet & see who responded.
No pecking order, just availability."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are we options though, do people necessarily know when we are available to meet?
Maybe his thought process was to make his availability known by posting a Meet & see who responded.
No pecking order, just availability."
My line of thought exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is that not what this site is about tho ? When feelings and emotions get in the mix it usually turns sour "
it's not feelings and emotions making it sour, its guys not that keen on fucking you trying to fuck you. don't see the point and nobody wants to fuck people who aren't even that keen on them in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Playing Devil's Advocate here but you didn't reply to his meet request so he's not your first option either. Seems like you both see each other similarly?"
I'm not the one looking for a meet. He is. So he isn't my first option or last option. I'm not looking. |
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"i know, i fucked someone off yesterday because he hadn't been in touch for 2 months. don't even care if he's been with others or not but 2 months means you're not exactly keen."
Out of interest, did you try and contact him in those two months? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I don't want to meet someone; I just don't reply to their message....
Don't take any joy in putting people down. I don't get attached to people I meet, in any other way than a "friends" (most of the people I meet will send me a "whatsapp" on the odd occasion or similar... we may not speak for months, I don't tend to take offense....) If I enjoyed my time with them and they want to meet again; we would, if I didn't; we wouldn't.
If I see previous meets advertising for a meet and they can't get one; I don't take offense..... This is a swinging site, new experiences, different flavours; if they messaged me after failing to get a meet, and said "how about it" depending on my previous experience I would or wouldn't, but if I wouldn't I don't hold that I should fire an insult at them in the process.......
To each their own....
"
I understand what you are saying, however I would rather be told "your not my type" or it was fun but I don't want to meet up again"
Rather than being ignored - Personally I find that just rude.
We're adults and should be able to communicate one another surely?
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"i know, i fucked someone off yesterday because he hadn't been in touch for 2 months. don't even care if he's been with others or not but 2 months means you're not exactly keen."
I've been chatting to someone for over a year with a couple of months gap inbetween conversations, we are still keen to meet, it's just a matter of timing. That hunger won't go away  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I don't want to meet someone; I just don't reply to their message....
Don't take any joy in putting people down. I don't get attached to people I meet, in any other way than a "friends" (most of the people I meet will send me a "whatsapp" on the odd occasion or similar... we may not speak for months, I don't tend to take offense....) If I enjoyed my time with them and they want to meet again; we would, if I didn't; we wouldn't.
If I see previous meets advertising for a meet and they can't get one; I don't take offense..... This is a swinging site, new experiences, different flavours; if they messaged me after failing to get a meet, and said "how about it" depending on my previous experience I would or wouldn't, but if I wouldn't I don't hold that I should fire an insult at them in the process.......
To each their own....
I understand what you are saying, however I would rather be told "your not my type" or it was fun but I don't want to meet up again"
Rather than being ignored - Personally I find that just rude.
We're adults and should be able to communicate one another surely?
"
Perhaps I should qualify my statement' if it's someone I haven't met; I will delete the message. If it's someone I have met; I will state that I do not wish to meet them again for a "physical meet", but would be happy for a social (can't have too many friends in this life.....) if I get an insult back, sobeit.... I won't resort to that; life is too short... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did a social meet and they were keen to meet another day. They travelled miles to meet a couple that fell through. They then tried another meet on the way home and that fell through too. They them texted me at 11.30 at night, asking me to meet! No chance! I am not going to be a 3rd. Best option! |
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"An ex meet of mine has had a meet up every day for a few days and had no luck. So now he messages me looking to meet as he has had no luck.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr if I'm not ur first option I'm damned if I'm going to be ur last one."
That's what they do. |
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"An ex meet of mine has had a meet up every day for a few days and had no luck. So now he messages me looking to meet as he has had no luck.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr if I'm not ur first option I'm damned if I'm going to be ur last one.
That's what they do. "
Isn't that a bit of an over generalisation though, us blokes have feeligs too as well you know   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I don't want to meet someone; I just don't reply to their message....
Don't take any joy in putting people down. I don't get attached to people I meet, in any other way than a "friends" (most of the people I meet will send me a "whatsapp" on the odd occasion or similar... we may not speak for months, I don't tend to take offense....) If I enjoyed my time with them and they want to meet again; we would, if I didn't; we wouldn't.
If I see previous meets advertising for a meet and they can't get one; I don't take offense..... This is a swinging site, new experiences, different flavours; if they messaged me after failing to get a meet, and said "how about it" depending on my previous experience I would or wouldn't, but if I wouldn't I don't hold that I should fire an insult at them in the process.......
To each their own....
I understand what you are saying, however I would rather be told "your not my type" or it was fun but I don't want to meet up again"
Rather than being ignored - Personally I find that just rude.
We're adults and should be able to communicate one another surely?
Perhaps I should qualify my statement' if it's someone I haven't met; I will delete the message. If it's someone I have met; I will state that I do not wish to meet them again for a "physical meet", but would be happy for a social (can't have too many friends in this life.....) if I get an insult back, sobeit.... I won't resort to that; life is too short..."
Thank you for your clarification  |
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"proud of myself for telling him what i thought though, usually i don't tell people when they piss me off coz i don't want to upset them but i'm looking after me first now and don't really care if i upset people to do that."
If I don't want to meet them I just say no thank you as don't see the point in saying anything else and why let them know that it bothers you, they aren't that important are they? |
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"I don't have exclusive dibs to anyone on here and vice versa, I don't care if or who they see when they aren't with me. "
I Only Want To Be With You - The Tourists 
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsTIuNikq4w |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want someone to want to meet me cos I'm me not cos they can't get it anywhere else and they're desperate.
"
so putting all this aside for one moment ~ would you have met the guy if he had messaged you directly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"proud of myself for telling him what i thought though, usually i don't tell people when they piss me off coz i don't want to upset them but i'm looking after me first now and don't really care if i upset people to do that.
If I don't want to meet them I just say no thank you as don't see the point in saying anything else and why let them know that it bothers you, they aren't that important are they?"
i'd met him before and discussed some things with him, thought he deserved an explanation when i changed my mind about that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like the guy had a lucky escape.
Can't be dealing with this level of drama queen crap."
Same here!
He puts a meet up, she doesn't respond, then it's his fault for not messaging rather than showing his availability? Childish comments on this thread too, a lucky escape!
Zero drama is fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"An ex meet of mine has had a meet up every day for a few days and had no luck. So now he messages me looking to meet as he has had no luck.
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr if I'm not ur first option I'm damned if I'm going to be ur last one."
quite right too, if he wanted to meet you he would have asked before posting looking elsewhere. I would have told him to shove it too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I can see where you're coming from and I'd turn him down too. The difference is I would simply say no, I would never be rude, offensive or try to score points...there's really no need to be nasty or a drama queen. If a guy had posted this saying he'd put a woman down in the way you did he'd be torn to shreds!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally agree, this is after all a swinging site not somewhere to get 'hooked up' if that does happen or you get regular with someone that's a mutual thing and by no means exclusive, get a grip folks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it's not to do with being clingy or exclusive with others.
it's to do with they don't want to fuck you and are looking for someone else instead.
when that doesn't work then they decide they want to fuck you.
not very flattering is it?
when my sister joined fab the amount of guys who asked me to recommend them to her was disgusting tbh. previous meets all of a sudden interested in me again because they wanted to fuck someone i know, no wonder she left. their attitude is wrong.
we all know NSA sex is using people, that's obvious, but blatant disrespect for someone else is not ok, it's also disturbing in some cases. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it's not to do with being clingy or exclusive with others.
it's to do with they don't want to fuck you and are looking for someone else instead.
when that doesn't work then they decide they want to fuck you.
not very flattering is it?
when my sister joined fab the amount of guys who asked me to recommend them to her was disgusting tbh. previous meets all of a sudden interested in me again because they wanted to fuck someone i know, no wonder she left. their attitude is wrong.
we all know NSA sex is using people, that's obvious, but blatant disrespect for someone else is not ok, it's also disturbing in some cases."
Well unless I completely misinterpreted the OP I don't think in this instance it's the case.
I could understand if they'd arranged to meet, he cancelled 'cos he couldn't make it, a few days later put up a Meet Request, had no luck & then messaged her...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had times when more than one man wants to meet on the same day and I had to choose. It's not about someone being better or me liking one more than the other. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
I had a play meet planned for Monday with someone I briefly met at a club ages ago..... He's pestered for a meet for a while.
I then spot he has a meet listing on his profile for same said Monday!!!
Sod right off mate! Don't be hedging your bets with me!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it's not to do with being clingy or exclusive with others.
it's to do with they don't want to fuck you and are looking for someone else instead.
when that doesn't work then they decide they want to fuck you.
not very flattering is it?
when my sister joined fab the amount of guys who asked me to recommend them to her was disgusting tbh. previous meets all of a sudden interested in me again because they wanted to fuck someone i know, no wonder she left. their attitude is wrong.
we all know NSA sex is using people, that's obvious, but blatant disrespect for someone else is not ok, it's also disturbing in some cases.
Well unless I completely misinterpreted the OP I don't think in this instance it's the case.
I could understand if they'd arranged to meet, he cancelled 'cos he couldn't make it, a few days later put up a Meet Request, had no luck & then messaged her......"
i interpreted it differently, yes.
he didn't bother messaging her until after he tried and couldn't get a meet with other people. he's not that keen until desperate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was single I had many instaxes of being a booty call calls at times between 10pm and 2am and as a single guy it suited me but now if we're not your first choice don't think your gonna be our second or third choice OP your worth more than being someone's back up choice it's degrading block and move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP I can see where you're coming from and I'd turn him down too. The difference is I would simply say no, I would never be rude, offensive or try to score points...there's really no need to be nasty or a drama queen. If a guy had posted this saying he'd put a woman down in the way you did he'd be torn to shreds!! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can look at this two ways..
One he put the meet today up in the hope she would message him and didn't want to pester her, hoping that she would respond; she didn't so eventually he bit the bullet...and messaged her.
Or
Two; he was looking to meet someone different; that didn't work out so he chanced his arm on a previous meet....
Either way what is offensive? Only the message he received back. That's all. If you take offense at a previous meet putting up a meet today and then messaging you a bit later/next day and respond with an insult... well... I guess that's you and the way you work. My opinion; bit harsh, but to each their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Playing Devil's Advocate here but you didn't reply to his meet request so he's not your first option either. Seems like you both see each other similarly?
I'm not the one looking for a meet. He is. So he isn't my first option or last option. I'm not looking."
No but he put up a meet request, and you didn't jump at the chance to meet number 1 on your list. Seems like you could take or leave him tbh. Perhaps he just feels the same. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had a play meet planned for Monday with someone I briefly met at a club ages ago..... He's pestered for a meet for a while.
I then spot he has a meet listing on his profile for same said Monday!!!
Sod right off mate! Don't be hedging your bets with me!!"
Exactly x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I also bet this bloke doesn't know why he received such an earful from the OP for simply asking if she'd like to meet."
Oh he does. I explained it when he messaged saying he was horny as fuck and couldn't get a meet for love nor money and why didn't he just come round and fuck me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want haribo but pulls up a chair
Personally I don't always message everyone I know every day - I have real life and football life "
Passes the haribo, and the pringles ...
I kind of understaand where the OPs coming from. Nobody wants to feel like the last port in a storm.. but if he posted a meet, she could've responded to that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I also bet this bloke doesn't know why he received such an earful from the OP for simply asking if she'd like to meet.
Oh he does. I explained it when he messaged saying he was horny as fuck and couldn't get a meet for love nor money and why didn't he just come round and fuck me."
Okay well now you've added the latter part he could have been way more tactful in his approach! |
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"If I fancied fucking him I'd accept.
Do you fancy fucking me
How does one get up to Cloud Cuckoo Land? "
Straight up the M 1, get off at junction 28, or failing that I live 5 mins walk from the train station |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It wouldn't have mattered regardless. I wasn't looking for a meet and had he messaged first then it would have been a no. It's the same mentality as the guys who see they live close to u that they have to shag u. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I fancied fucking him I'd accept.
Do you fancy fucking me
How does one get up to Cloud Cuckoo Land?
Straight up the M 1, get off at junction 28, or failing that I live 5 mins walk from the train station "
That's a looooong way up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it's not to do with being clingy or exclusive with others.
it's to do with they don't want to fuck you and are looking for someone else instead.
when that doesn't work then they decide they want to fuck you.
not very flattering is it?
"
I don't see it as an issue i like having sex with differnt people.
If somone I've met is looking to meet somone new but it doesnt pan out ao they say "fancy meeting up my plans didnt work out" I'm not gonna throw a hissy fit because there are time i want someone differnt too.
Although it's an endless source of amusement when i stay with a friend who when they want a shag sends me to the pub afross the road lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldn't have mattered regardless. I wasn't looking for a meet and had he messaged first then it would have been a no. It's the same mentality as the guys who see they live close to u that they have to shag u."
Then why all the drama?! You were never going to meet him so even if he'd behaved like a true gent you wouldn't have entertained him. But of course that doesn't make for a good thread does it? Single guy bashing at its best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It wouldn't have mattered regardless. I wasn't looking for a meet and had he messaged first then it would have been a no. It's the same mentality as the guys who see they live close to u that they have to shag u.
Then why all the drama?! You were never going to meet him so even if he'd behaved like a true gent you wouldn't have entertained him. But of course that doesn't make for a good thread does it? Single guy bashing at its best"
Cause you don't get attention for being sensible :p |
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"If I fancied fucking him I'd accept.
Do you fancy fucking me
How does one get up to Cloud Cuckoo Land?
Straight up the M 1, get off at junction 28, or failing that I live 5 mins walk from the train station
That's a looooong way up "
It's only that - far on a map though if the desire is there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He messaged saying he was horny as fuck and couldn't get a meet for love nor money and why didn't he just come round and fuck me.
I don't think many would respond positively to a message like that. Or maybe they would! |
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"If I don't want to meet someone; I just don't reply to their message....
Don't take any joy in putting people down. I don't get attached to people I meet, in any other way than a "friends" (most of the people I meet will send me a "whatsapp" on the odd occasion or similar... we may not speak for months, I don't tend to take offense....) If I enjoyed my time with them and they want to meet again; we would, if I didn't; we wouldn't.
If I see previous meets advertising for a meet and they can't get one; I don't take offense..... This is a swinging site, new experiences, different flavours; if they messaged me after failing to get a meet, and said "how about it" depending on my previous experience I would or wouldn't, but if I wouldn't I don't hold that I should fire an insult at them in the process.......
To each their own....
"
Couldn't have put it better! |
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"I also bet this bloke doesn't know why he received such an earful from the OP for simply asking if she'd like to meet.
Oh he does. I explained it when he messaged saying he was horny as fuck and couldn't get a meet for love nor money and why didn't he just come round and fuck me."
If you'd put that in your op I'd have agreed with your stance and not think it was him that had dodged a bullet. |
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