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why is it nice guys always come last
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry I'm ranting and this seams a good place.
Today on what looks like a sunny Saturday rather than going to a club or chatting up a new play mate. I'm stuck baby sitting a friends kids while he sleeps of a sinfully.
Basterd  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry I'm ranting and this seams a good place.
Today on what looks like a sunny Saturday rather than going to a club or chatting up a new play mate. I'm stuck baby sitting a friends kids while he sleeps of a sinfully.
Basterd "
You've made those choices, I can't see past that - if you want to be doing something else, then do that. |
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"Sorry I'm ranting and this seams a good place.
Today on what looks like a sunny Saturday rather than going to a club or chatting up a new play mate. I'm stuck baby sitting a friends kids while he sleeps of a sinfully.
Basterd
You've made those choices, I can't see past that - if you want to be doing something else, then do that. "
Nor I: can't see what the ops problem is. |
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"Sorry I'm ranting and this seams a good place.
Today on what looks like a sunny Saturday rather than going to a club or chatting up a new play mate. I'm stuck baby sitting a friends kids while he sleeps of a sinfully.
Basterd "
Not quite sure what your ranting about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry I'm ranting and this seams a good place.
Today on what looks like a sunny Saturday rather than going to a club or chatting up a new play mate. I'm stuck baby sitting a friends kids while he sleeps of a sinfully.
Basterd "
That does not make you a nice guy, a nice guy would do it for the fun, a week guy does it and begrudged it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry I'm ranting and this seams a good place.
Today on what looks like a sunny Saturday rather than going to a club or chatting up a new play mate. I'm stuck baby sitting a friends kids while he sleeps of a sinfully.
Basterd
That does not make you a nice guy, a nice guy would do it for the fun, a week guy does it and begrudged it. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok I'm week them just because I New them as a couple before they split up over his drinking like his kids and don't want him to lose visitation right because he can't get him self straight that makes me week really.
Not improving my mood
And I'm in a strop because I'm too nice to say no deal with your own shit even though it's probably the right thing to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm week them just because I New them as a couple before they split up over his drinking like his kids and don't want him to lose visitation right because he can't get him self straight that makes me week really.
Not improving my mood
And I'm in a strop because I'm too nice to say no deal with your own shit even though it's probably the right thing to do."
So, you're enabling him even though he's an unfit parent. Great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm week them just because I New them as a couple before they split up over his drinking like his kids and don't want him to lose visitation right because he can't get him self straight that makes me week really.
Not improving my mood
And I'm in a strop because I'm too nice to say no deal with your own shit even though it's probably the right thing to do."
Sorry to say that you're facilitating his continuation of destructive behaviours. He will have no reason to get himself straight because you're allowing him to take advantage of you in this way. |
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"Ok I'm week them just because I New them as a couple before they split up over his drinking like his kids and don't want him to lose visitation right because he can't get him self straight that makes me week really.
Not improving my mood
And I'm in a strop because I'm too nice to say no deal with your own shit even though it's probably the right thing to do."
But your heading and "rant" doesn't make sense!
You're enabling him then complaining. His wife walked away yet allows a "d*unk" to look after the children?!!
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"Ok I'm week them just because I New them as a couple before they split up over his drinking like his kids and don't want him to lose visitation right because he can't get him self straight that makes me week really.
Not improving my mood
And I'm in a strop because I'm too nice to say no deal with your own shit even though it's probably the right thing to do.
So, you're enabling him even though he's an unfit parent. Great."
My point exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And my problem is a agree. Yes he won't get off the bottle unless something happens. But your telling me a friend rings you at 6am telling you he's to d*unk to look after his weekend kids and you don't help him out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And my problem is a agree. Yes he won't get off the bottle unless something happens. But your telling me a friend rings you at 6am telling you he's to d*unk to look after his weekend kids and you don't help him out. "
Calling social services or his ex is what needs to be done. He's a danger to his children and should be kept away from them unless he sorts his shit out. |
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"Sorry I'm ranting and this seams a good place.
Today on what looks like a sunny Saturday rather than going to a club or chatting up a new play mate. I'm stuck baby sitting a friends kids while he sleeps of a sinfully.
Basterd "
Look at it from the kids point of view. Their dad can't be bothered to stay off the drink when he has them and the person who agreed to watch them resents them (and they will have picked up on that). Turn it round, make it nice for them and you can walk away feeling good  |
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"And my problem is a agree. Yes he won't get off the bottle unless something happens. But your telling me a friend rings you at 6am telling you he's to d*unk to look after his weekend kids and you don't help him out. "
You did the right thing. You aren't helping him out you're helping the kids.
It's a difficult situation to be in I know from experience, because you can't endanger the children.
His ex is the one who has to act here but I think she needs to know what went on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was in your position, I'd look after the kids this weekend, then tell my mate, once it is over, I would never help him out like this again, unless he addresses his alcohol issues. I would not want to get caught in the enabling trap. I'd tell his ex not to leave the kids with him unless he deals with the alcohol issue. It could end in a tragedy if not confronted. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Tell them to get the lego or Sca Electrix out and enjoy yourself  "
And then use the lego to get even. Sprinkle it in a path from his bedroom to the bathroom.
No more Mr Nice Guy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't know how to say this any gentler so I wont...
You are enabling and therefore complicit in his neglect and therefore, abuse of his children. You need to let the mother know what is happening and not allow him to involve you ever again. If she continues to allow them to go to a neglectful home, then social services need to be informed... |
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"I don't know how to say this any gentler so I wont...
You are enabling and therefore complicit in his neglect and therefore, abuse of his children. You need to let the mother know what is happening and not allow him to involve you ever again. If she continues to allow them to go to a neglectful home, then social services need to be informed..."
She might be legally obliged to allow him access which is all the more reason she needs to know. The fault at face value appears to be his not hers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the mate is putting booze before access to his children and getting you to baby sit he needs a good talking to. As his pal you need to set him straight. They are only little once. I saw the turmoil my fella had getting access to his children, cost him £1000s, because a bitter woman used them as a weapon against him. He will regret it in the future is he doesn't sort himself out. Xx |
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"And my problem is a agree. Yes he won't get off the bottle unless something happens. But your telling me a friend rings you at 6am telling you he's to d*unk to look after his weekend kids and you don't help him out. "
No I call social services. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take the kids out, they won't shrivel up in the sun and might enjoy themselves. don't forget suncream and drinks, maybe have a picnic. If you're babysitting you might as well have fun with that
Also people are right about the enabling thing, you're not being nice you're just enabling. Nice people usualy do this because they haven't developed proper boundaries with other people who take advantage of you. Work out what you're willing to enable and what is fair then make it so you're only willing to enable the fair with him.
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
I've my two little ladies visiting this weekend, we're going to the garden centre buying tomato plants and then back to plant them out in the sunshine, in a couple of months we'll be out picking the fruit and cooking with them.
Take the kids out fresh air and a bit of Sun on a weekend beats staying in and watching shite tv all ends up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And my problem is a agree. Yes he won't get off the bottle unless something happens. But your telling me a friend rings you at 6am telling you he's to d*unk to look after his weekend kids and you don't help him out. "
I wouldn't have even answered the phone at that time on a non work day.
If I did I would've said something like....so you knew you were getting your kids but decided to get too plastered to look after them!!!
Fuck right off n don't phone me before 9am on the weekend again! 
There's a big difference between asking for help/a favour,n taking advantage of somebodies good nature.
Hope your mate sorts his life out,for his kids sake! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And my problem is a agree. Yes he won't get off the bottle unless something happens. But your telling me a friend rings you at 6am telling you he's to d*unk to look after his weekend kids and you don't help him out. "
no I wouldn't, I would phone the mother and tell her that her waste of space ex is d*unk and not to send the kids. theres not a court in the land that would allow a habitul d*unk access to kids in that situation. he clearly couldn't care less about seeing either or he wouldn't be sleeping off the booze instead of spending time with them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok I'm week them just because I New them as a couple before they split up over his drinking like his kids and don't want him to lose visitation right because he can't get him self straight that makes me week really.
Not improving my mood
And I'm in a strop because I'm too nice to say no deal with your own shit even though it's probably the right thing to do."
what visitation rights, hes sleeping off a skinful, not unwell or working,hes been on the bevvy all night and couldn't give a toss about seeing his kids. he shouldn't be allowed 1 hour with them in that state never mind a weekend. |
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