FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > soft swing
soft swing
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"We were more than happy with for ages... Sometimes we take for granted and the full is the norm for many/most... when you find yourself in a soft play situation the thought you want to soooo badly but have to hold off can be dead horny.. Besides.. we have found respecting peoples wishes and not even mentioning 'wanting' more than with those who are soft.. can result in more following later.. Horny... "Totally agree notts xxx | |||
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"We are just looking for soft swing and would never consider full sex with others, but thats just us, don't mind what anyone else likes doing as long as all are happy and it doesn't involve pets or minors. Whats probably more important re the full/soft debate is that people are honest and open about their limits/boundaries before anyone plays. We have met people who have said soft is fine but when things move along they have been really after full swap and had hoped to pressure us towards that. So for us honesty is the best policy. " Have to agree 100% with this - there is no way we'd ever try to pressure any one into doing something they don't want to do. I think a few people have said before that honesty is vital but there are a few who are very frugal with the facts! | |||
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"lots of different points. we are soft swing couple. yet a lot of couples that full swing, ask ud what we do and do not do. so we where woundering what consists soft swing i.e. what things you do, do and what yu do not do. I said to a few e-mails from couples explaining what we do and do nots. they where quite supprised that the is only really one thing we do not do. we get the impression that people that full swing think its just touch lick and talk dirty LOl and thats it. I read some where in more than obne post that soft swing, you get more of the pleasure of sexual pleasure because more is do on the touch feeling likcing and finding out what other people find pleasurable with out thinking that fucking someone hard for 30 mins is swinging. #thanks for the replies, great to rread dirrent views. sue" well my take on it is. full swing is exactly that....the full monty. like going for a curry and getting the korma when you are not devilish to go straight for the balti....throw in the poppadums....hey we have the banquet....at the end of it...something to quench the thirst. suppose could always be referred to as argy bargy..lol | |||
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"Thats what I thought so it is more of an introduction in to swinging then as couple may simply be curious stage at first then "its a choice rather than an introduction. Sure some couples may move onto full swap after trying soft, but there are many others for whom this is what they enjoy and they choose to leave something just for themselves. | |||
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"i prefer to swing the whole way, i love kissing and touching i find it really turns me on. some men get a rock hard cock just from kissing which is gr8 " Put me down for that category, a woman who knows how to kiss sensually is such a turn on and gets me hard everytime. | |||
gets me going every time | |||
"mmm same here couldnt do any of it with out the kisses
gets me going every time "Same for both of us | |||
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"Its a bit like non alcoholic beer to us. And we do wonder what’s the point." I can relate to that analogy. We see swinging as a way of exploring aspects of our sex life that involves other people. We get enough out of oral sex with each other that doesn't require another woman to give me a blowjob and then nothing more. We are very much of the opinion that if we are going to invite a 3rd or 4th person into our bed then what's the point in limiting that to oral or hand stimulation. We also feel that we would be disrespectful to other people by effectively saying, "Hey, we like you for your tongue/hands but keep your cock/pussy to yourself, ok." If you look at what swinging is and why some people are soft play only, I would offer the suggestion that soft swingers fall into three categories: a) one of the couple is very unsure about penetrative sex with another person or cannot handle their partner having full sex with someone else. b) a couple have dressed up their love for each other in such a way that if either of them suggest full sex with someone else it would be seen as a betrayal of that love so they compromise by soft swinging. c) they are new to swinging and want to take things slowly. In my experience of new swingers I've found that most have discussed it for quite some time before doing anything at all so they really should know whether they want full sex with other people or not. Sometimes, however, only one of the couple is keen on swinging and the other is scared to death by it. Either a) or b) it does point to a level of insecurity within their own relationship. If you can't bear to watch your partner enjoying his or herself having full sex with someone else, for whatever reason, swinging is probably not for you. | |||
" If you can't bear to watch your partner enjoying his or herself having full sex with someone else, for whatever reason, swinging is probably not for you. " We've been enjoying swinging 'our way' for close to 2 years now with couples and guys who know what the score is from the outset... how enlightening to now hear that it 'probably isn't for us'. We'd better stop with immediate effect and take up stamp collecting! | |||
" If you can't bear to watch your partner enjoying his or herself having full sex with someone else, for whatever reason, swinging is probably not for you. We've been enjoying swinging 'our way' for close to 2 years now with couples and guys who know what the score is from the outset... how enlightening to now hear that it 'probably isn't for us'. We'd better stop with immediate effect and take up stamp collecting! "Sometimes I feel I have to start every single post I make with something like: "OBVIOUSLY these are my own personal opinions are cannot include every single configuration of every couple out there so please interpret this as an answer to the opening post as to how I see things." SoftnPorn: If how you 'swing' works for you, then great, full steam ahead. | |||
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"I don't believe that there is a 'proper' way of swinging(definitions are not only restrictive but oh, so tiresome and boring !): If you're having a great time , you're doing it right! Nina xx "If there wasn't a proper way of swinging then the term 'soft swing' or 'soft play' wouldn't have been coined. Swinging is what swapping partners for the purpose of having sex with them was all about, formerly known as wife swapping but I guess that term was replaced because of it's obvious sexism overtones. So if 'swinging' was the term used to encompass the lifestyle of swapping partners for full sex then at some point another term was needed to encompass those that don't wish to have sex with others, thus the term 'soft swing' was coined. Pure supposition on my part as all this took place long before I got into swinging but it makes sense to me so it must therefore follow that there IS a proper way of swinging - just as there is a proper way of soft swinging. If pressed on the subject what would you answer if someone posed the question: Are you swingers? Would you answer "yes", or "no, we're soft swingers." (and yes I also realise you'd probably say "mind your own business" but I am speaking hypothetically.) | |||
"have to admit im very much so in two minds about soft swinging, i find you get more out of forplay with a guy if they not getting a shag at the end of it, if you swing with couple that does full swap they tend to be to keen to get onto the shag bit where as if they know that bits not coming they tend to put more effort into what they can do, could do with a nice mixture a guy that will spend ages on the forplay and then have a good shag after lol" We both looooooooove the play part and the winding up, but agree so many couples just want to get straight to the fucking and the wham bam its over, result we often end up having sex with eachother straight after, to finish off (but then we allways shag eachother at end anyway, regardless of if we full swap) | |||
"Its a bit like non alcoholic beer to us. And we do wonder what’s the point. I can relate to that analogy. We see swinging as a way of exploring aspects of our sex life that involves other people. We get enough out of oral sex with each other that doesn't require another woman to give me a blowjob and then nothing more. We are very much of the opinion that if we are going to invite a 3rd or 4th person into our bed then what's the point in limiting that to oral or hand stimulation. We also feel that we would be disrespectful to other people by effectively saying, "Hey, we like you for your tongue/hands but keep your cock/pussy to yourself, ok." If you look at what swinging is and why some people are soft play only, I would offer the suggestion that soft swingers fall into three categories: a) one of the couple is very unsure about penetrative sex with another person or cannot handle their partner having full sex with someone else. b) a couple have dressed up their love for each other in such a way that if either of them suggest full sex with someone else it would be seen as a betrayal of that love so they compromise by soft swinging. c) they are new to swinging and want to take things slowly. In my experience of new swingers I've found that most have discussed it for quite some time before doing anything at all so they really should know whether they want full sex with other people or not. Sometimes, however, only one of the couple is keen on swinging and the other is scared to death by it. Either a) or b) it does point to a level of insecurity within their own relationship. If you can't bear to watch your partner enjoying his or herself having full sex with someone else, for whatever reason, swinging is probably not for you. " There are people who are exhibitionists. They might like the idea of being watched but not wish to take things further. I do get the opinion that some couples get frustrated over the soft swing thing. They want to take things to the full swap This is obviously understandable if you like the other couple. The soft swingers get intimidated a little I presume to take things further. I am guessing here that some couples say soft swing so they can back out of taking things further. It is thought provoking as a single bloke to see a couples point of view on both sides. But obviously single men do not really get involved in the soft swing scene. | |||
"I don't believe that there is a 'proper' way of swinging(definitions are not only restrictive but oh, so tiresome and boring !): If you're having a great time , you're doing it right! Nina xx
If there wasn't a proper way of swinging then the term 'soft swing' or 'soft play' wouldn't have been coined. Swinging is what swapping partners for the purpose of having sex with them was all about, formerly known as wife swapping but I guess that term was replaced because of it's obvious sexism overtones. So if 'swinging' was the term used to encompass the lifestyle of swapping partners for full sex then at some point another term was needed to encompass those that don't wish to have sex with others, thus the term 'soft swing' was coined.
Pure supposition on my part as all this took place long before I got into swinging but it makes sense to me so it must therefore follow that there IS a proper way of swinging - just as there is a proper way of soft swinging.
If pressed on the subject what would you answer if someone posed the question: Are you swingers?
Would you answer "yes", or "no, we're soft swingers."
(and yes I also realise you'd probably say "mind your own business" but I am speaking hypothetically.)"Stop using logic, you'll confuse people :P Were swingers,we love full swap, soft, basicaly anything involving contact with another couple, as long as it's in same room.. as we get sooooo horny seing eachother play.. | |||
"Its a bit like non alcoholic beer to us. And we do wonder what’s the point. I can relate to that analogy. We see swinging as a way of exploring aspects of our sex life that involves other people. We get enough out of oral sex with each other that doesn't require another woman to give me a blowjob and then nothing more. We are very much of the opinion that if we are going to invite a 3rd or 4th person into our bed then what's the point in limiting that to oral or hand stimulation. We also feel that we would be disrespectful to other people by effectively saying, "Hey, we like you for your tongue/hands but keep your cock/pussy to yourself, ok." If you look at what swinging is and why some people are soft play only, I would offer the suggestion that soft swingers fall into three categories: a) one of the couple is very unsure about penetrative sex with another person or cannot handle their partner having full sex with someone else. b) a couple have dressed up their love for each other in such a way that if either of them suggest full sex with someone else it would be seen as a betrayal of that love so they compromise by soft swinging. c) they are new to swinging and want to take things slowly. In my experience of new swingers I've found that most have discussed it for quite some time before doing anything at all so they really should know whether they want full sex with other people or not. Sometimes, however, only one of the couple is keen on swinging and the other is scared to death by it. Either a) or b) it does point to a level of insecurity within their own relationship. If you can't bear to watch your partner enjoying his or herself having full sex with someone else, for whatever reason, swinging is probably not for you. There are people who are exhibitionists. They might like the idea of being watched but not wish to take things further. I do get the opinion that some couples get frustrated over the soft swing thing. They want to take things to the full swap This is obviously understandable if you like the other couple. The soft swingers get intimidated a little I presume to take things further. I am guessing here that some couples say soft swing so they can back out of taking things further. It is thought provoking as a single bloke to see a couples point of view on both sides. But obviously single men do not really get involved in the soft swing scene. " You would be amazed how often we here "We only soft swap" while chatting at bar in club, followed by her saying "Wiggles and him can full swap if they want, as it's only realy her into soft" | |||
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" Sometimes I feel I have to start every single post I make with something like: "OBVIOUSLY these are my own personal opinions are cannot include every single configuration of every couple out there so please interpret this as an answer to the opening post as to how I see things." SoftnPorn: If how you 'swing' works for you, then great, full steam ahead. " The wink after my post indicated that I took your comment light heartedly - in case you missed that subtle sign. Couldn't help but notice you put the word 'swing' in inverted commas in your response and that along with the pathetic adjustment to our names (cheap shot by the way) seems to suggest that you think we're doing something 'less than' swinging by your exacting definition .... but, yes thanks - we're having fun as are all the people we meet in whatever configuration / circumstances. And at the end of the day, fun is what it's all about. Personally, I don't think there's a hierarchy of swingers with those fucking at the top and those who don't further down. And I think that because I don't think the sex act is purely about penetration - there is so much more to giving and receiving sensual pleasure. I think that, like everything else in this lifestyle, the decision whether to have full penetrative sex or not is just another preference - like kissing / anal / WS. Providing everyone knows the score from the start, what's the problem? This, of course, is my own, very humble opinion although it's unlikely to be one shared by 'proper' swingers. Happy swinging everyone - however you choose to play xx | |||
" ...but, yes thanks - we're having fun as are all the people we meet in whatever configuration / circumstances. And at the end of the day, fun is what it's all about. Personally, I don't think there's a hierarchy of swingers with those fucking at the top and those who don't further down. And I think that because I don't think the sex act is purely about penetration - there is so much more to giving and receiving sensual pleasure. I think that, like everything else in this lifestyle, the decision whether to have full penetrative sex or not is just another preference - like kissing / anal / WS. Providing everyone knows the score from the start, what's the problem? This, of course, is my own, very humble opinion although it's unlikely to be one shared by 'proper' swingers. Happy swinging everyone - however you choose to play xx " abso-fucking-lutely say I !! | |||
" You would be amazed how often we here "We only soft swap" while chatting at bar in club, followed by her saying "Wiggles and him can full swap if they want, as it's only realy her into soft"" Well how generous of them,talk about all take and no give! Didn't they offer you tea, biscuits and something to read while you waited too? 
XXXX | |||
To then cut that short by saying, "Er, no, sorry, that part is out of bounds," well, it can't be a very nice feeling can it - unless, of course, that's been well established before you start playing at all, and if so, good luck to soft swingers, as has been said, if it works for you then that's the right way to swing for you, it does nothing for us however as we love to watch each other being fucked by other people.
SugarNPorn, please accept my apologies for the transgression on your nickname, it was a genuine mistake and I guess my mind had the word 'soft' in it as I typed. | |||
" Sometimes I feel I have to start every single post I make with something like: "OBVIOUSLY these are my own personal opinions are cannot include every single configuration of every couple out there so please interpret this as an answer to the opening post as to how I see things." SoftnPorn: If how you 'swing' works for you, then great, full steam ahead. The wink after my post indicated that I took your comment light heartedly - in case you missed that subtle sign. Couldn't help but notice you put the word 'swing' in inverted commas in your response and that along with the pathetic adjustment to our names (cheap shot by the way) seems to suggest that you think we're doing something 'less than' swinging by your exacting definition .... but, yes thanks - we're having fun as are all the people we meet in whatever configuration / circumstances. And at the end of the day, fun is what it's all about. Personally, I don't think there's a hierarchy of swingers with those fucking at the top and those who don't further down. And I think that because I don't think the sex act is purely about penetration - there is so much more to giving and receiving sensual pleasure. I think that, like everything else in this lifestyle, the decision whether to have full penetrative sex or not is just another preference - like kissing / anal / WS. Providing everyone knows the score from the start, what's the problem? This, of course, is my own, very humble opinion although it's unlikely to be one shared by 'proper' swingers. Happy swinging everyone - however you choose to play xx " I think Wishy probably made a simple mistake with your name, I had to look several times as I almost put SugarNporn
My spin on the use of "swing" in not that there is an innuendo attached to it rather an acknowledgement that pretty much all of us in here "swing" in sometimes very subtle but never the less different ways, which is all part of the attraction
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"I would think its a lot easier if you have met a couple before on the full swap or not is on.I assume many say soft swap as a way of not offending if they don't want the others partner inside her. It is an interesting topic as i was at a party yesterday and was intrigued with one couple being unsure if they were going to swap or not. I did note some couples can be pushy which surprised the life out of me if im honest." Don't be....some couples are even pushier than single guys...:D And single guys can surely join in soft swing fun too...:D Soft swing is great...not only it takes the pressure of the guys but also the girls...it takes pressure off everyone...:D...and besides....touching is licking is just very sensual and fun...:D | |||
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" SugarNPorn, please accept my apologies for the transgression on your nickname, it was a genuine mistake and I guess my mind had the word 'soft' in it as I typed. " Apology graciously accepted. And can I just say my back isn't up at all - I enjoy a good debate as much as the next person. The problem with trying to define something that involves humans is that attitudes are never static. A definition that applied 20 or 30 years ago won't necessarily apply now as our perspectives on sex evolve. The primary focus for some may be penetration but that can (sometimes - not always of course)lead to a blinkered approach to the sexual experience with the feeling that it's not complete unless there's been full penetration. But whilst some guys may take their time with foreplay before finishing with full sex, others just fumble for 5 minutes then hop on, hump like a bunny and hop off again! So although they technically fit the traditional definition of a swinger, their technique is hardly in the spirit of sensual, horny fun. Pom prefers not to penetrate but can still reduce a woman to an orgasmic mass of quivering jelly with long, sensual sessions using his tongue and fingers. So who is the 'real' swinger? In 1866, the definition of marriage was "... as understood in Christendom, may for this purpose be defined as the voluntary union for life of one man and one woman, to the exclusion of all others". Well that clearly isn't the case today as same sex marriages have been made legal. Times change - perspectives change - and definitions change along with them. But as with everything connected with this lifestyle, honesty is the key. We would NEVER deceive others by only springing our 'no fucking with couples' mantra at the 11th hour. We're upfront about how we play so others can exercise their choice to join us or not. Simples
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"I agree things change over the years. take marriage :- I shall honour with my boby (ok do not mind that bit)Shall love cherish etc. BUT "obey" no bloody way. If i did that i would never be able to shop to i drop or tell him p*ss off when wanting a shag and am watching holby. LOl Sue" someone always has to spoil it dont they ..... | |||
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"As said before Ric.. we know soft swingers who use the term 'soft' as insurance.. They don't want to feel as though they have to full swap with all... but some maybe! "We know what your saying but we're up front enough to know that if we fancied anyone enough to lick and suck them,then we'd fancy them enough to fuck them too. We would never contact anyone on a "just maybe" basis. Lifes too short,unfortunately. 
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"tell me about life to short wish our VAT bill was as well LOL Ok to change the question a bit. Who started soft swing and then went on to full swing and was that what you intended to do or did it just happen ? Sue" We've never been ones to do things by halves,so jumped in with both feet at the outset. So it was full from the begining for us.
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,If they like it you'll see them on more often looking for same thing so in saying that sometimes soft swing remains just that upon other hand not some people can just get it on LOL | |||
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