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Wtf son, you're going to get me shot
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My son is very articulate, he can hold a decent conversation, in fact if it's about dinosaurs there's no shutting him up, but there's one word that he keeps getting wrong, and I'm going to look like a right old lech if I don't sort it out.
He asked me earlier in a packed out shop if I was going to get a tinder again, people looked at me with disgust wondering what I was exposing my young son to, I had to loudly correct him and say "son, we have talked about this, it's not tinder it's KINDER, there's no such thing as a tinder egg" I hope he gets it soon, like the period that he was playing spider man but instead of extending his index and little finger to fire an imaginary web, he was straight up flicking the Vs.
Child like innocence, or is he just an evil genius, who has worked out how to settle scores with his old man without getting into trouble himself?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is very articulate, he can hold a decent conversation, in fact if it's about dinosaurs there's no shutting him up, but there's one word that he keeps getting wrong, and I'm going to look like a right old lech if I don't sort it out.
He asked me earlier in a packed out shop if I was going to get a tinder again, people looked at me with disgust wondering what I was exposing my young son to, I had to loudly correct him and say "son, we have talked about this, it's not tinder it's KINDER, there's no such thing as a tinder egg" I hope he gets it soon, like the period that he was playing spider man but instead of extending his index and little finger to fire an imaginary web, he was straight up flicking the Vs.
Child like innocence, or is he just an evil genius, who has worked out how to settle scores with his old man without getting into trouble himself? "
your son sounds amazing thanks for this id be killing myself laughting if id witnessed this x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think he knows what he's doing, is it a coincidence that I've been enforcing his hour limit on his tablet, and makes my him tidy his own room? I do not think it is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My son is the same....
A few years ago when I was picking him up from school he asked if I was going swinging again!! All the other mums and a few dads gave me such a look ....I was far too embarrassed to explain I had been on the swings in the park the day before... I just grabbed my son and rushed off... Red faced  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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About ten years ago there was a serial killer in Camden who's victims were prostitutes.
It cam on the news " another prostitute murdered in Camden". My daughter went very quiet and got tearful. When I asked why she said "Mummy's a prostitute isn't she?"
It turns out she meant protestant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is very articulate, he can hold a decent conversation, in fact if it's about dinosaurs there's no shutting him up, but there's one word that he keeps getting wrong, and I'm going to look like a right old lech if I don't sort it out.
He asked me earlier in a packed out shop if I was going to get a tinder again, people looked at me with disgust wondering what I was exposing my young son to, I had to loudly correct him and say "son, we have talked about this, it's not tinder it's KINDER, there's no such thing as a tinder egg" I hope he gets it soon, like the period that he was playing spider man but instead of extending his index and little finger to fire an imaginary web, he was straight up flicking the Vs.
Child like innocence, or is he just an evil genius, who has worked out how to settle scores with his old man without getting into trouble himself? "
That's nothing.....my daughter used to call them kinky eggs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My son has a speech problem and can't say r properly (think Jonathon Ross). Its not normally a problem til he talks about what "rank" he is on his games! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is very articulate, he can hold a decent conversation, in fact if it's about dinosaurs there's no shutting him up, but there's one word that he keeps getting wrong, and I'm going to look like a right old lech if I don't sort it out.
He asked me earlier in a packed out shop if I was going to get a tinder again, people looked at me with disgust wondering what I was exposing my young son to, I had to loudly correct him and say "son, we have talked about this, it's not tinder it's KINDER, there's no such thing as a tinder egg" I hope he gets it soon, like the period that he was playing spider man but instead of extending his index and little finger to fire an imaginary web, he was straight up flicking the Vs.
Child like innocence, or is he just an evil genius, who has worked out how to settle scores with his old man without getting into trouble himself?
That's nothing.....my daughter used to call them kinky eggs "
You wouldn't want to put those up your fanny |
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When he was first at nursery (with nuns) our son went through a stage of saying random word/sounds. When he randomly came across 'fuck' he thought the reaction so funny it became his favourite word for weeks until we could wean him off it.
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is very articulate, he can hold a decent conversation, in fact if it's about dinosaurs there's no shutting him up, but there's one word that he keeps getting wrong, and I'm going to look like a right old lech if I don't sort it out.
He asked me earlier in a packed out shop if I was going to get a tinder again, people looked at me with disgust wondering what I was exposing my young son to, I had to loudly correct him and say "son, we have talked about this, it's not tinder it's KINDER, there's no such thing as a tinder egg" I hope he gets it soon, like the period that he was playing spider man but instead of extending his index and little finger to fire an imaginary web, he was straight up flicking the Vs.
Child like innocence, or is he just an evil genius, who has worked out how to settle scores with his old man without getting into trouble himself?
That's nothing.....my daughter used to call them kinky eggs
You wouldn't want to put those up your fanny "
Oh.....i dunno |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love stories like this, my eldest couldn't pronounce words beginning with S and replaced it with an F. This resulted in him having a fucker toothbrush and rather loudly in a food court asking why a woman was fucking her thumb |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is very articulate, he can hold a decent conversation, in fact if it's about dinosaurs there's no shutting him up, but there's one word that he keeps getting wrong, and I'm going to look like a right old lech if I don't sort it out.
He asked me earlier in a packed out shop if I was going to get a tinder again, people looked at me with disgust wondering what I was exposing my young son to, I had to loudly correct him and say "son, we have talked about this, it's not tinder it's KINDER, there's no such thing as a tinder egg" I hope he gets it soon, like the period that he was playing spider man but instead of extending his index and little finger to fire an imaginary web, he was straight up flicking the Vs.
Child like innocence, or is he just an evil genius, who has worked out how to settle scores with his old man without getting into trouble himself? "
His name isn't Stewie by chance is it?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ours used to pronounce truck with a f instead of a tr.
So lots of shouting "Look mummy BIG FUCK!" very excitedly when I took him pretty much anywhere..."
My nephew is the exact same "wow look at that big fuck" haha
Our eldest once asked could he gave a condom of the table ... Him being 5 our jaws dropped until we realised he meant poppadoms |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My old boss got dragged posh frock shopping with his wife and had wee son in tow. In a rather splendidly exclusive shop, number one son loudly asked "Daddy. Are you really my Daddy?" "Yes of course I am". "How do you know?" "Well Mummy says so" "Hmmmmm, but can you really be sure. They're not to be trusted you know".
Awesomeness!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is very articulate, he can hold a decent conversation, in fact if it's about dinosaurs there's no shutting him up, but there's one word that he keeps getting wrong, and I'm going to look like a right old lech if I don't sort it out.
He asked me earlier in a packed out shop if I was going to get a tinder again, people looked at me with disgust wondering what I was exposing my young son to, I had to loudly correct him and say "son, we have talked about this, it's not tinder it's KINDER, there's no such thing as a tinder egg" I hope he gets it soon, like the period that he was playing spider man but instead of extending his index and little finger to fire an imaginary web, he was straight up flicking the Vs.
Child like innocence, or is he just an evil genius, who has worked out how to settle scores with his old man without getting into trouble himself? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On one of the many occasions I had Number One Nephew to myself for the day we went for a walk down to the river and on our journey were passing a chap walking a dog. NON loudly pronounced, "Aunty H, that doggy has a REALLY big willy" just as we got along side. The chap smiled and said "his owner doesn't do too bad either". Mortified! |
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By *kgeminiMan
over a year ago
Southampton |
Once in a supermarket with my eldest son (about 2 at the time) sat in the trolley. While I'm busy shopping, He starts going "Daddy! Daddy!". I'm goading him and pretending I'm not hearing him, thinking he is just wanting me to buy something. So he grabs my head and turns it to show me what he is looking at. To see a stunning woman dressed in a tight, red low cut short dress with huge breast. At which point while my boy has my head held tight he shouts "Daddy! That lady has got really big boobies!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On one of the many occasions I had Number One Nephew to myself for the day we went for a walk down to the river and on our journey were passing a chap walking a dog. NON loudly pronounced, "Aunty H, that doggy has a REALLY big willy" just as we got along side. The chap smiled and said "his owner doesn't do too bad either". Mortified! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is very articulate, he can hold a decent conversation, in fact if it's about dinosaurs there's no shutting him up, but there's one word that he keeps getting wrong, and I'm going to look like a right old lech if I don't sort it out.
He asked me earlier in a packed out shop if I was going to get a tinder again, people looked at me with disgust wondering what I was exposing my young son to, I had to loudly correct him and say "son, we have talked about this, it's not tinder it's KINDER, there's no such thing as a tinder egg" I hope he gets it soon, like the period that he was playing spider man but instead of extending his index and little finger to fire an imaginary web, he was straight up flicking the Vs.
Child like innocence, or is he just an evil genius, who has worked out how to settle scores with his old man without getting into trouble himself? "
Hahaha quality!! My son is 5 and just started announcing to people how "penis is so wide dad I can't wait til mine is" when we leave a public toilet |
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