FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What one doesn't know won't hurt you.
What one doesn't know won't hurt you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some things make relationships stronger when the partner doesn't know. Ive fullfilled my fantasies with strangers and then applied them with my partner when I wouldn't have felt comfortable doing it straight away - not sure that makes sense! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tend to disagree. But what is the context?
Scenario of relationships...can do whatever I want so long as you don't know."
That's a very consequentialist view if things. I tend to be more deontological in my thinking.
So, while its technically true that someone being cheated on, for example, won't be hurt by the cheating if they don't know about it (or presumably suffer from any side effects of the cheating), it can still from a deontological standpoint be considered doing them wrong. That is to say, the consequences of the action do not in my opinion determine the wrongness of the act.
I use cheating as a mere example. The action can be extended to various others I'm a relationship. |
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"Your thoughts."
Possibly, but you can never guarantee that they won't eventually find out, so best not to rely on it. Instead use "If I do this, *when* they find out about it, will it hurt them. If so, don't do it.
Simples
(Oh buggar, now I've gone all meerkat)
Mr ddc |
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I've seen this more than once, where a partner is cheating and the other does not know....but is nonetheless hurt indirectly by the cheating partner's secret texting, working late or inventing courses to go on.
So I disagree. Someone is always hurt. Often the one doing the cheating ends up feeling hurt and guilty too. Which in turn has an effect on the innocent party. |
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"You eventually find out one way or another in the end and then it does hurt..."
I am going to be accused of judging and of being sanctimonius....but I have seen it several times. The other party always picks up on something not being quite right when their partner is cheating. They may not know what is wrong but they know something is not right with their partner. |
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"You eventually find out one way or another in the end and then it does hurt...
I am going to be accused of judging and of being sanctimonius....but I have seen it several times. The other party always picks up on something not being quite right when their partner is cheating. They may not know what is wrong but they know something is not right with their partner. "
I'd rather know whatever it was they were trying to hide... like said intuition kicks in and you know something is wrong... like I say to him I may get pissed off but once I've calmed down at least I know the truth |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your thoughts.
Incorrect, you can be damaged by that which you do not know, consciousness is only a part of humanity, we have a spirit and soul too."
I agree with you very much! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as the old saying goes 'ignorance is bliss' 
but by the law of averages you either get found out or someone snitches, and that's when the shit hits the fan....IMHO  |
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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago
staffordshire |
On the basis of relationships, what you may believe is hidden from a partner and therefore wont hurt them, is not necessarily the case, from experience the truth always comes out whether you tell them or they find out on their own.
Best to be honest in my opinion |
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"You eventually find out one way or another in the end and then it does hurt...
I am going to be accused of judging and of being sanctimonius....but I have seen it several times. The other party always picks up on something not being quite right when their partner is cheating. They may not know what is wrong but they know something is not right with their partner. "
Do you know me  |
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"Your thoughts.
Incorrect, you can be damaged by that which you do not know, consciousness is only a part of humanity, we have a spirit and soul too.
I agree with you very much!"
Haha, great, but now I wonder who the hell you are  |
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"I've seen this more than once, where a partner is cheating and the other does not know....but is nonetheless hurt indirectly by the cheating partner's secret texting, working late or inventing courses to go on.
So I disagree. Someone is always hurt. Often the one doing the cheating ends up feeling hurt and guilty too. Which in turn has an effect on the innocent party."
Agree. I'm in a shaky relationship where we are a couple who swings with other couples and who are allowed to see other people. These are ultimately his rules, as i'd be happy just swinging together. However, he says no swinging, no relationship. He has lied to me on numerous occasions and it's turned out he's been with someone else which obviously hurts as how do I know he's playing safe....he insists he does...but that isn't exactly reassuring x |
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