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Friendship /lieing

By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

Ive been friends with my friend for a few years recently ive found out there lyimg to me ...an huge lies

I know i should end the friendship but i cant just cant end the friendship over night....i have hinted i know to them in a round about way..an i think they know i know..

Im not sure what to do. Trust plays part of it ..

Have u had a situ like this an what did u do

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

An ex friend of mine lies a lot, I walked away and now she's just an acquaintance.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ive been friends with my friend for a few years recently ive found out there lyimg to me ...an huge lies

I know i should end the friendship but i cant just cant end the friendship over night....i have hinted i know to them in a round about way..an i think they know i know..

Im not sure what to do. Trust plays part of it ..

Have u had a situ like this an what did u do "

It would depend what the lies were. If it was things that didn't concern me, then I'd respect the fact they didn't want to tell me.

If it was lies about me or concerned me in any way, then I'd speak to them about it.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"An ex friend of mine lies a lot, I walked away and now she's just an acquaintance. "

Its not small lies its huge lies an there beimg deceitful an not honest...thats what my head is telling me to walk away

my heart says give then a chance but i know they will lie again to me

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Ive been friends with my friend for a few years recently ive found out there lyimg to me ...an huge lies

I know i should end the friendship but i cant just cant end the friendship over night....i have hinted i know to them in a round about way..an i think they know i know..

Im not sure what to do. Trust plays part of it ..

Have u had a situ like this an what did u do

It would depend what the lies were. If it was things that didn't concern me, then I'd respect the fact they didn't want to tell me.

If it was lies about me or concerned me in any way, then I'd speak to them about it."

Its not one lie they have told they have told me several an it concerns me as they told me to my face an things don't add you i had my suspicion last week an now i know there lies are getting more an more to cover up one lie after another

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By *piritsonfabCouple over a year ago

Nottingham

People lie for a reason. Find our their reason and see if you can accept it.

If not, then move them to your "casual" list at best

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ive been friends with my friend for a few years recently ive found out there lyimg to me ...an huge lies

I know i should end the friendship but i cant just cant end the friendship over night....i have hinted i know to them in a round about way..an i think they know i know..

Im not sure what to do. Trust plays part of it ..

Have u had a situ like this an what did u do

It would depend what the lies were. If it was things that didn't concern me, then I'd respect the fact they didn't want to tell me.

If it was lies about me or concerned me in any way, then I'd speak to them about it.

We need more information or you need to give less.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

I had to end a friendship quite recently over something similar.I confronted my friend,she denied all so i had to tell her the trust had gone so i couldn't continue the friendship.I made the right decision as she badmouthed me afterwards to everyone.Good luck op.Miss.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People lie for a reason. Find our their reason and see if you can accept it.

If not, then move them to your "casual" list at best"

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"I had to end a friendship quite recently over something similar.I confronted my friend,she denied all so i had to tell her the trust had gone so i couldn't continue the friendship.I made the right decision as she badmouthed me afterwards to everyone.Good luck op.Miss."

Thanks it must of not been an easy decision for you to make to end a friendship

As with me i want to confront my friend face to face ive hinted i know...thanks i feel like ending the friendship. ..thanks for the good luck its hard to know what to do i know i should end the friendship but i havnt the bravery or heart to do this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks it must of not been an easy decision for you to make to end a friendship

Walk away. The 'friend' obviously has no respect of your 'friendship' Truth will out eventually.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Ive been friends with my friend for a few years recently ive found out there lyimg to me ...an huge lies

I know i should end the friendship but i cant just cant end the friendship over night....i have hinted i know to them in a round about way..an i think they know i know..

Im not sure what to do. Trust plays part of it ..

Have u had a situ like this an what did u do

It would depend what the lies were. If it was things that didn't concern me, then I'd respect the fact they didn't want to tell me.

If it was lies about me or concerned me in any way, then I'd speak to them about it.

We need more information or you need to give less. "

I cant go into the ins an outs but its being lìed too..an the fact my friend is blatant with lies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People lie for a reason. Find our their reason and see if you can accept it.

If not, then move them to your "casual" list at best"

Sound advice

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

Thanks it must of not been an easy decision for you to make to end a friendship

You're welcome,it wasnt easy but it was kind of the last straw for me tbh.Hope you are able to make the best decision for yourself x

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"People lie for a reason. Find our their reason and see if you can accept it.

If not, then move them to your "casual" list at best

Sound advice

People do lie but not deceive an keep things hidden all i ask is honesty

An maybe sound advice to keep them in the casual list

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

Thanks it must of not been an easy decision for you to make to end a friendship

You're welcome,it wasnt easy but it was kind of the last straw for me tbh.Hope you are able to make the best decision for yourself x"

I hope i do make the right decision

But i may sleep on it..

But i never thought my friend would deceive me like this..my friend says still wants to be a friend an meet up

But im thinking why

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I found myself in a similar situation a couple of weeks ago. I'd hinted that I knew,but when she didn't pick up on the hint I just came straight out and asked. Needless to say she continued to lie. Even told me to get the other person to prove it, which they already had.

The thing is, if she'd just come clean I would probably have suggested that we work on our friendship and try to remain in contact. But now it's got to the point where 'i don't give a fiddlers feck'. As I'd never be able to trust or believe anything she said or did in the future.

Sometimes I wish I'd just put a stop to the friendship a couple of months ago when I first found out about her most recent lying spree. But still better late never i suppose,at least I now know to be more guarded and selective about who I put my trust in.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"I found myself in a similar situation a couple of weeks ago. I'd hinted that I knew,but when she didn't pick up on the hint I just came straight out and asked. Needless to say she continued to lie. Even told me to get the other person to prove it, which they already had.

At the mo , im thinking why doesn't my friend come clean open an honest an i would forgive in a heartbeat if they would come clean its the fact they are carrying on with the lies its one lie after another. An they have tripped themselves up big time i knew last week i had a hint of it an then more lies this week its not white lies either,i mean major lies. ..an now im wondering how to aproach them about it...as im always tactfull

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why don't you ask her then? Job done. Opportunity for her to come clean...she obviously finds it hard to come clean if she feels the need to lie in the first place...either that or distance yourself.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Why don't you ask her then? Job done. Opportunity for her to come clean...she obviously finds it hard to come clean if she feels the need to lie in the first place...either that or distance yourself."

I dont want to put my foot in it..i want to confront the person an give them a chance to come clean in person i feel i want to scream it has upset me the lies an made me tearfull tbh i dont mind admitting that..i want to distance myself from it but if i do it will weigh on my mind an i wont sleep

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stop being tactful then. Sounds obvious but with liars you can't give them any excuse to carry on lying to you.

Confront her outright, you don't have to be aggressive about it but do be confident and don't doubt yourself for a single second and do not be willing to put up with another lie at all.

You might feel like a bitch for doing this but when you're not a bitch people can, and do, walk all over your kindness, So fuck them people, stop being nice to them, and let them know you are not their mug to be abused.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Stop being tactful then. Sounds obvious but with liars you can't give them any excuse to carry on lying to you.

Confront her outright, you don't have to be aggressive about it but do be confident and don't doubt yourself for a single second and do not be willing to put up with another lie at all.

Thats my problem im too nice...an i domt like conflict tbh..an this will be hard an im usually scared to confront but i need to confront the lies as ive reached my last straw i think an today has been a hard day..for me to learn im right about the lies your right i need to toughen up but at the same time my friend cant get away with telling big lies to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well do nothing then.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

Thanks it must of not been an easy decision for you to make to end a friendship

Walk away. The 'friend' obviously has no respect of your 'friendship' Truth will out eventually. "

The truth does come out in the end i have to agree . Trust no one

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Well do nothing then.

I know i will confront them an i know i will get them into a corner where they cant get out of their lies an possibly squirm over it i do it s diplomatic an tactful way

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

Unless you confront them they you will just carry on lying to you, if that's what you want then carry on the way things are

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes. Several times.

They are now persona non grata and I wouldn't piss on them if they were allergic to piss.

My life is too short to have people like that in it.

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"Stop being tactful then. Sounds obvious but with liars you can't give them any excuse to carry on lying to you.

Confront her outright, you don't have to be aggressive about it but do be confident and don't doubt yourself for a single second and do not be willing to put up with another lie at all.

Then man up buttercup and do something about it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Unless you confront them they you will just carry on lying to you, if that's what you want then carry on the way things are "

I've lost the will to live now. Good luck op with whatever you decide. Personally i can do without the hassle and drama in my life, but each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes. Several times.

They are now persona non grata and I wouldn't piss on them if they were allergic to piss.

My life is too short to have people like that in it.

Not even if allergic to piss? That's cold

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Unless you confront them they you will just carry on lying to you, if that's what you want then carry on the way things are "

Yes i will confront them an tell the person about the numerous lies an why i found them out an the trust has gone

As at the mo trust for me has gone put the window

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe they didn't want to be the one to tell you Father Christmas isn't real

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Unless you confront them they you will just carry on lying to you, if that's what you want then carry on the way things are

I've lost the will to live now. Good luck op with whatever you decide. Personally i can do without the hassle and drama in my life, but each to their own."

All i was asking if anybody else has had this..if you are losing the will to live on my forum post ignore it an dont comment simples dont mean to be rude but ive been told to toughen up then this is me toughing up

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Stop being tactful then. Sounds obvious but with liars you can't give them any excuse to carry on lying to you.

Confront her outright, you don't have to be aggressive about it but do be confident and don't doubt yourself for a single second and do not be willing to put up with another lie at all.

Then man up buttercup and do something about it

As i have to wait to see them as they are on a work conference at the mo i cant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stop being tactful then. Sounds obvious but with liars you can't give them any excuse to carry on lying to you.

Confront her outright, you don't have to be aggressive about it but do be confident and don't doubt yourself for a single second and do not be willing to put up with another lie at all.

She could still be your friend if, when you confront her, she apologises and tries to make amends. If she really is a friend then she will want to sort this out with you and care about your feelings.

You are still a nice person for confronting her and wanting to sort out your relationship with her, ok? You're being kind by giving her the opportunity to explain why she hurt you. You just aren't gonna put up with any more lies because you're being nice to yourself too.

You're still a nice person for setting boundaries within the relationship you have with your friend too. But you also are going to be kind to yourself, because you are just as important as a person as your friend is.

Idk why you don't like conflict but i suspect your friend knows this and that's the reason why she lied and is not sorting this out with you herself, because she can get away with it.

Nobody really likes conflict btw, but sometimes it has to be done or else you're just hurting yourself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Unless you confront them they you will just carry on lying to you, if that's what you want then carry on the way things are

I've lost the will to live now. Good luck op with whatever you decide. Personally i can do without the hassle and drama in my life, but each to their own.

About time too. So glad we reached a solution. X

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Stop being tactful then. Sounds obvious but with liars you can't give them any excuse to carry on lying to you.

Confront her outright, you don't have to be aggressive about it but do be confident and don't doubt yourself for a single second and do not be willing to put up with another lie at all.

She could still be your friend if, when you confront her, she apologises and tries to make amends. If she really is a friend then she will want to sort this out with you and care about your feelings.

Idk why you don't like conflict but i suspect your friend knows this and that's the reason why she lied and is not sorting this out with you herself, because she can get away with it.

Nobody really likes conflict btw, but sometimes it has to be done or else you're just hurting yourself."

So true i think your right

The friend knows i know as ive hinted a few things an they have tried to justify an sort of let me think there not lieing an tried to cover up an reasure me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I knew someone who was a compulsive liar. He'd always been like that. Would lie through his teeth about everything and anything. The lies were always to make himself look good.

It was such a shame because he was a nice guy, good looking and from a really nice family.

It was obviously a self esteem thing. I doubt he could have stopped lying if someone paid him a million quid.

Some people just do it over and over and can't help it. Maybe therapy would help if this is true in your friend's case?

Like others have said, it depends why they are lying. Is it their own insecurity or is it to gain something from someone?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was ridiculously tactful, but it didn't get me any closer to her owning up. In the end I knew I'd lost all trust in her. Without trust I don't think it's possible for a friendship to survive.

Good luck, I do hope your friend comes to their sense and you are able to rebuild your friendship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stop being tactful then. Sounds obvious but with liars you can't give them any excuse to carry on lying to you.

Confront her outright, you don't have to be aggressive about it but do be confident and don't doubt yourself for a single second and do not be willing to put up with another lie at all.

She could still be your friend if, when you confront her, she apologises and tries to make amends. If she really is a friend then she will want to sort this out with you and care about your feelings.

Idk why you don't like conflict but i suspect your friend knows this and that's the reason why she lied and is not sorting this out with you herself, because she can get away with it.

Nobody really likes conflict btw, but sometimes it has to be done or else you're just hurting yourself.

So true i think your right

The friend knows i know as ive hinted a few things an they have tried to justify an sort of let me think there not lieing an tried to cover up an reasure me "

Directly confronting her will let you know what she really thinks of you as a friend, and it gives her a chance to sort it out with you if she respects you. You'll have to wait and see what she says. Hope it goes well.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

Thanks guys its given me something to think about an how best to approach the situ with my friend i will sleep on it overnight...thats when things seem clearer an i can think better..an im so glad im not the only one who has had this dilemma

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not knowing the exact ins and outs I'd suggest talking to your friend openly, telling her you know she's been lying and how you know it. Don't give her the opportunity to lie anymore and make it clear you can only mend things if she talks openly with you.

I had a friend who started with one lie and it escalated, she had to lie to cover lies and got to the point no one believed anything she said, we spoke with her and she broke down and it actually made our friendship stronger, she said she was relieved to be able to talk about it as she had got herself into a stupid situation but didn't know how to get back out.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"I knew someone who was a compulsive liar. He'd always been like that. Would lie through his teeth about everything and anything. The lies were always to make himself look good.

It was such a shame because he was a nice guy, good looking and from a really nice family.

It was obviously a self esteem thing. I doubt he could have stopped lying if someone paid him a million quid.

Some people just do it over and over and can't help it. Maybe therapy would help if this is true in your friend's case?

Like others have said, it depends why they are lying. Is it their own insecurity or is it to gain something from someone?"

My friend is deceitful an covering up the lies an trying to lets say make out there not lieing

There lieing to cover something uo

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By *olly RogererMan over a year ago

Braintree

If you cant go into ins and outs then no one can help you really.

Theres always 2 sides to a story and there may be good reason your friend is lying, they may be being a better friend protecting you from the truth

Without knowing the whole story all we can say is its up to you

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Stop being tactful then. Sounds obvious but with liars you can't give them any excuse to carry on lying to you.

Confront her outright, you don't have to be aggressive about it but do be confident and don't doubt yourself for a single second and do not be willing to put up with another lie at all.

She could still be your friend if, when you confront her, she apologises and tries to make amends. If she really is a friend then she will want to sort this out with you and care about your feelings.

Idk why you don't like conflict but i suspect your friend knows this and that's the reason why she lied and is not sorting this out with you herself, because she can get away with it.

Nobody really likes conflict btw, but sometimes it has to be done or else you're just hurting yourself.

So true i think your right

The friend knows i know as ive hinted a few things an they have tried to justify an sort of let me think there not lieing an tried to cover up an reasure me

As a friend i dont think this person respects me as a friend or cant do an respects the friendship

Ive given them chance to come clean

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

I was ridiculously tactful, but it didn't get me any closer to her owning up. In the end I knew I'd lost all trust in her. Without trust I don't think it's possible for a friendship to survive.

Good luck, I do hope your friend comes to their sense and you are able to rebuild your friendship. "

Thanks for the good luck , the worst thing about it is the deceitfulness its not to spare my feelings or protect me its protecting them an because they have been caught out

I hope my friend does come clean if they think anything of me

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"If you cant go into ins and outs then no one can help you really.

Theres always 2 sides to a story and there may be good reason your friend is lying, they may be being a better friend protecting you from the truth

Without knowing the whole story all we can say is its up to you"

I would rather someone be truthful than be blatantly be lied to..no matter how hard the truth is i would rather someone be open an honest..with me

Than them covering up lies an no its not to protect me or spare my feelings being deceived an lied to is worse

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

Well i will sleep on things an hopefully things will look better in the morn with friendship

Thanks for all the advice its certainly helped me think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're welcome. I don't wanna advise any further coz i don't know her and don't wanna put ideas in your head.

Hope you get this sorted anyway and the result you want. Enjoy your sleep.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"You're welcome. I don't wanna advise any further coz i don't know her and don't wanna put ideas in your head.

Hope you get this sorted anyway and the result you want. Enjoy your sleep."

Thanks, its helped

I hope it gets sorted

I will try to sleep but i doubt i will

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

You have two choices.

1. Do nothing.

2. Confront him.

Good luck.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"You have two choices.

1. Do nothing.

2. Confront him.

Good luck."

Thanks for the good luck an i know i have to confront the person

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're welcome. I don't wanna advise any further coz i don't know her and don't wanna put ideas in your head.

Hope you get this sorted anyway and the result you want. Enjoy your sleep.

Thanks, its helped

I hope it gets sorted

I will try to sleep but i doubt i will "

yeah i have that sometimes, things play on your mind and then you worry about them and can't stop thinking.

it's ok, you'll feel better for sorting this out, even if it doesn't go the way you want to.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"You're welcome. I don't wanna advise any further coz i don't know her and don't wanna put ideas in your head.

Hope you get this sorted anyway and the result you want. Enjoy your sleep.

Thanks, its helped

I hope it gets sorted

I will try to sleep but i doubt i will

yeah i have that sometimes, things play on your mind and then you worry about them and can't stop thinking.

it's ok, you'll feel better for sorting this out, even if it doesn't go the way you want to."

Yes it's going round an around in my head i wont settle untill i have have confronted my friend in person an then i will be at peace.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You're welcome. I don't wanna advise any further coz i don't know her and don't wanna put ideas in your head.

Hope you get this sorted anyway and the result you want. Enjoy your sleep.

Thanks, its helped

I hope it gets sorted

I will try to sleep but i doubt i will

yeah i have that sometimes, things play on your mind and then you worry about them and can't stop thinking.

it's ok, you'll feel better for sorting this out, even if it doesn't go the way you want to.

Yes it's going round an around in my head i wont settle untill i have have confronted my friend in person an then i will be at peace. "

maybe find some DVDs to watch, or anything to do because when i'm in that type of mood i just know i won't be sleeping and try to distract myself until i'm able to sort it out.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

"If we knew all that was said about us behind our backs no man would have more than two friends."

~ Dr Johnson

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

It would depend on the importance of the relationship to me.

At the least I would discuss things but aiming to not be confrontational about it. Id share my feelings, how I'm affected - if relevant.

But atm it's a little unspecified - we don't have the full info nor motivation.

People lie for many reasons - and removing the possible reasons for people needing or wanting to lie can bring us closer.

Relationships can reach impasses and also seem to have differing levels to them. Where we succeed beyond impasses can be how we gain stronger bonds and significant meaning. I'm not one to just cast aside someone who's been dear to me. If talking and opening up means that I learn something about me and my relationships, potentially helping nothing more than my future relationships, then I'll give it a go. It would still need the other to want to be involved and to be intimately honest, though this dialogue is part of gaining that.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"It would depend on the importance of the relationship to me.

At the least I would discuss things but aiming to not be confrontational about it. Id share my feelings, how I'm affected - if relevant.

But atm it's a little unspecified - we don't have the full info nor motivation.

People lie for many reasons - and removing the possible reasons for people needing or wanting to lie can bring us closer.

Yes well said....this is a complex issue with many variables, but from a crisis sometimes a frank dialogue can result which can change everything.

All I can suggest is to try to establish the whole truth, then follow your heart.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is one issue straight men will never have, this is how straight men would handle this

Hey best friend 'you are a lying bastard'

Best friend 'lol I know'

Beer o'clock

sure, check out here tits

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is one issue straight men will never have, this is how straight men would handle this

Hey best friend 'you are a lying bastard'

Best friend 'lol I know'

Beer o'clock

sure, check out here tits"

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Without knowing the lie its impossible to say.

Lies;

"No ive never been married"

-truth hiding the fact he was in an abusive marriage for years that nearly destroyed him and drove him to attampt suicide and now never wants to talk about with people"

"Oh yeah i work for X As a Y"

Truth lost his job over a year ago and has since been doing male escort work while lieing to his friends and family as he doesnt want to be judged"

"Nah im busy so cant do x" -over and over again at weird times

Was diagnosed with cancer and frequently has to attend apointments or is jist too weak to go out but doesnt want people to know as he doesnt want them to worry.

All massive lies but neither something you have a right to know as a friend or hurtful to you.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"You're welcome. I don't wanna advise any further coz i don't know her and don't wanna put ideas in your head.

Hope you get this sorted anyway and the result you want. Enjoy your sleep.

Thanks, its helped

I hope it gets sorted

I will try to sleep but i doubt i will

yeah i have that sometimes, things play on your mind and then you worry about them and can't stop thinking.

it's ok, you'll feel better for sorting this out, even if it doesn't go the way you want to.

Yes it's going round an around in my head i wont settle untill i have have confronted my friend in person an then i will be at peace.

maybe find some DVDs to watch, or anything to do because when i'm in that type of mood i just know i won't be sleeping and try to distract myself until i'm able to sort it out."

I fell asleep eventually, but up early

Its still on my mind. I have 2 weeks holiday from work so im not kept busy yo distract myself etc thats the thing

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Without knowing the lie its impossible to say.

Lies;

"No ive never been married"

-truth hiding the fact he was in an abusive marriage for years that nearly destroyed him and drove him to attampt suicide and now never wants to talk about with people"

"Oh yeah i work for X As a Y"

Truth lost his job over a year ago and has since been doing male escort work while lieing to his friends and family as he doesnt want to be judged"

"Nah im busy so cant do x" -over and over again at weird times

Was diagnosed with cancer and frequently has to attend apointments or is jist too weak to go out but doesnt want people to know as he doesnt want them to worry.

All massive lies but neither something you have a right to know as a friend or hurtful to you.

I can see what your saying my friend has made me look foolish an took me for a fool tbh an its because their covering up blatant lies an trying to cover up the lie with more lies on the top digging themselves a bigger hole..

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"It would depend on the importance of the relationship to me.

At the least I would discuss things but aiming to not be confrontational about it. Id share my feelings, how I'm affected - if relevant.

But atm it's a little unspecified - we don't have the full info nor motivation.

People lie for many reasons - and removing the possible reasons for people needing or wanting to lie can bring us closer.

Yes well said....this is a complex issue with many variables, but from a crisis sometimes a frank dialogue can result which can change everything.

All I can suggest is to try to establish the whole truth, then follow your heart.

My head is telling me one thing my heart another

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It would depend on the importance of the relationship to me.

At the least I would discuss things but aiming to not be confrontational about it. Id share my feelings, how I'm affected - if relevant.

But atm it's a little unspecified - we don't have the full info nor motivation.

People lie for many reasons - and removing the possible reasons for people needing or wanting to lie can bring us closer.

Yes well said....this is a complex issue with many variables, but from a crisis sometimes a frank dialogue can result which can change everything.

All I can suggest is to try to establish the whole truth, then follow your heart.

My head is telling me one thing my heart another "

Unless you are willing to share what this lie was, its impossible for us to offer advice as you are starting to sound a bit bonkers

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"It would depend on the importance of the relationship to me.

At the least I would discuss things but aiming to not be confrontational about it. Id share my feelings, how I'm affected - if relevant.

But atm it's a little unspecified - we don't have the full info nor motivation.

People lie for many reasons - and removing the possible reasons for people needing or wanting to lie can bring us closer.

Yes well said....this is a complex issue with many variables, but from a crisis sometimes a frank dialogue can result which can change everything.

All I can suggest is to try to establish the whole truth, then follow your heart.

My head is telling me one thing my heart another "

Always go with the heart - your intuition knows things your head does not.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"This is one issue straight men will never have, this is how straight men would handle this

Hey best friend 'you are a lying bastard'

Best friend 'lol I know'

Lol, I have a dancing friend who is a full blown narcissist and a compulsive liar. When I hear it I just say 'Oh you're such a bullshitter!!' and even though he can never admit it, he knows that I know and accept him as he is, and we enjoy each others company regardless.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"It would depend on the importance of the relationship to me.

At the least I would discuss things but aiming to not be confrontational about it. Id share my feelings, how I'm affected - if relevant.

But atm it's a little unspecified - we don't have the full info nor motivation.

People lie for many reasons - and removing the possible reasons for people needing or wanting to lie can bring us closer.

Yes well said....this is a complex issue with many variables, but from a crisis sometimes a frank dialogue can result which can change everything.

All I can suggest is to try to establish the whole truth, then follow your heart.

My head is telling me one thing my heart another

Unless you are willing to share what this lie was, its impossible for us to offer advice as you are starting to sound a bit bonkers "

What a strange suggestion im bonkers thanks for that suggestion why comment if you dont like what i put simples ignore an move on.maybe your not good first thing in the morn

I wont divulge what it is as you sound as if you want to pry an be nosey..what the major lies my friend has been telling me..nice try to try an get it out of me by suggesting im sounding bonkers im not falling for that trap nice try though

All i was asking on my forum post was advice an if anyone else has had this with a friend..don't judge me unless you have had this happen to you

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"It would depend on the importance of the relationship to me.

At the least I would discuss things but aiming to not be confrontational about it. Id share my feelings, how I'm affected - if relevant.

But atm it's a little unspecified - we don't have the full info nor motivation.

People lie for many reasons - and removing the possible reasons for people needing or wanting to lie can bring us closer.

Yes well said....this is a complex issue with many variables, but from a crisis sometimes a frank dialogue can result which can change everything.

All I can suggest is to try to establish the whole truth, then follow your heart.

Its hard to know what to do tbh

My head is telling me one thing my heart another

Always go with the heart - your intuition knows things your head does not. "

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"This is one issue straight men will never have, this is how straight men would handle this

Hey best friend 'you are a lying bastard'

Best friend 'lol I know'

This isnt in jest the lies these are blatant what my friend is telling me

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"This is one issue straight men will never have, this is how straight men would handle this

Hey best friend 'you are a lying bastard'

Best friend 'lol I know'

This isnt in jest the lies these are blatant what my friend is telling me "

I get that and its obviously really stressing you, so I think you have no choice but to get it all out in the open and talk.

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By *ancs MinxWoman over a year ago

Burnley

"Ive been friends with my friend for a few years recently ive found out there lyimg to me ...an huge lies

I know i should end the friendship but i cant just cant end the friendship over night....i have hinted i know to them in a round about way..an i think they know i know..

Im not sure what to do. Trust plays part of it ..

Have u had a situ like this an what did u do

It would depend what the lies were. If it was things that didn't concern me, then I'd respect the fact they didn't want to tell me.

If it was lies about me or concerned me in any way, then I'd speak to them about it."

exactly...never assume things either, one is often wrong......and then all is lost for what may have been a mis understanding......

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"This is one issue straight men will never have, this is how straight men would handle this

Hey best friend 'you are a lying bastard'

Best friend 'lol I know'

This isnt in jest the lies these are blatant what my friend is telling me

I get that and its obviously really stressing you, so I think you have no choice but to get it all out in the open and talk.

I think so , if its out in the open an once i confront the person i will feel better. Nothing worse than a lier an a deceiver.it is stressing me out i hardly slept last night

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Ive been friends with my friend for a few years recently ive found out there lyimg to me ...an huge lies

I know i should end the friendship but i cant just cant end the friendship over night....i have hinted i know to them in a round about way..an i think they know i know..

Im not sure what to do. Trust plays part of it ..

Have u had a situ like this an what did u do

It would depend what the lies were. If it was things that didn't concern me, then I'd respect the fact they didn't want to tell me.

If it was lies about me or concerned me in any way, then I'd speak to them about it.

exactly...never assume things either, one is often wrong......and then all is lost for what may have been a mis understanding......"

Oh this isnt a misunderstanding by any far means..an i havnt got it wrong on the lies...believe me these are huge whopping lies..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well, from an overview of all of the above, the most obvious thing is that these lies, whatever they may be, are causing you a considerable amount of discomfort. It is, as previous posters have said, tricky to give specific advice without a little more specific detail; however I am sure we can all respect your wish not to divulge further. The advice given this far can be pretty much summarised as either confront your friend and discuss the situation in a manner in which you would be comfortable, chalk it up to experience and move on or step away from the situation and friendship altogether.

None of us know you, none of us know your friend and none of us know the details or context. I would suggest taking some sort of action even if it's just putting the kettle on or going for a nice walk in the fresh air and think about other things in your life before it takes over.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

Yes i need to take my mind of things

Particularly as the lies are praying on my mind tbh

I need to keep myself busy tbh

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By *ancs MinxWoman over a year ago

Burnley

Fingers crossed all works out, and you can have peace of mind again

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Fingers crossed all works out, and you can have peace of mind again

Thanks i hope so

I want piece of mind again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is one issue straight men will never have, this is how straight men would handle this

Hey best friend 'you are a lying bastard'

Best friend 'lol I know'

This isnt in jest the lies these are blatant what my friend is telling me "

But why do you care?

Problem is with "advice" here is you've basicaly walked into a doctors ofice and gone

"I'm ill what do I do."

"What are the symptoms"

"I'm not telling you"

"Right....."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I new a person once who would lie about loads of things, It was very upsetting and I new I could never trust him no matter what he said to me after that . Some lie to make there life better as really they are very unhappy in the real world so play all sorts of silly games and don't care about the people they hurt . I told him I new his lies and he hated it .. but made me feel better. Lifes to short to put up with crap and I missed them as a friend but after a time I looked back and just felt sorry they had to do that.

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By *untimes6969Man over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"This is one issue straight men will never have, this is how straight men would handle this

Hey best friend 'you are a lying bastard'

Best friend 'lol I know'

Beer o'clock

sure, check out here tits"

A Classic!! Even worse - it's true!!

Back to the topic - confront your friend in a calm and controlled way, make notes if required (cover all your questions) and then 'shut up' and listen - the truth will come out!!

Complete liar or a genuine friend who made a mistake - take it from there!

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People don't change and no matter what you say or do I find if lying after a time they slip back as it the way they are. Some over look things and put up with things as its the only way to keep them in there life.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"I new a person once who would lie about loads of things, It was very upsetting and I new I could never trust him no matter what he said to me after that . Some lie to make there life better as really they are very unhappy in the real world so play all sorts of silly games and don't care about the people they hurt . I told him I new his lies and he hated it .. but made me feel better. Lifes to short to put up with crap and I missed them as a friend but after a time I looked back and just felt sorry they had to do that."

Yes its not easy with someone lieing it makes you doubt yourself an thats not a good thing

Ive been lied to that many times in my life i know when someone lies an blatant

Yes im the same i dont understand why people resort to lieing as liers get found out in the end the truth eventually comes out

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"People don't change and no matter what you say or do I find if lying after a time they slip back as it the way they are. Some over look things and put up with things as its the only way to keep them in there life. "

Liers eventually slip up an eventually there lies catch up with them in the end

Everyone tells white lies like if a friend asks you do i look good in a dress an you say you look great as you dont want to upset a friends feelings an hurt them as you care for them

Im talking about blatant liers who lie deceive cover up lie after lie to cover up more lies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes its not easy with someone lieing it makes you doubt yourself an thats not a good thing

Ive been lied to that many times in my life i know when someone lies an blatant

Yes im the same i dont understand why people resort to lieing as liers get found out in the end the truth eventually comes out "
I just got so fed up with it all. And had to off load as I needed them to face up what they had done it all hurt me .. its not easy but it give me peace of mind.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

Yes its not easy with someone lieing it makes you doubt yourself an thats not a good thing

Ive been lied to that many times in my life i know when someone lies an blatant

Yes im the same i dont understand why people resort to lieing as liers get found out in the end the truth eventually comes out I just got so fed up with it all. And had to off load as I needed them to face up what they had done it all hurt me .. its not easy but it give me peace of mind."

It isnt easy, i bet it was hard to deak with , an i feel hurt the sane as you i felt like screaming tbh i need to confront my friend i think for peace of mind

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes its not easy with someone lieing it makes you doubt yourself an thats not a good thing

Ive been lied to that many times in my life i know when someone lies an blatant

It isnt easy, i bet it was hard to deak with , an i feel hurt the sane as you i felt like screaming tbh i need to confront my friend i think for peace of mind "
Be brave and for peace of mind do something as it will drive you mad. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No offence intended here but you sound just like the sort of female you hear about on these dating sites. The ones who fall for a man who's either married and living a double life or fleeces the female and disappears.

You should just put it down to a bad experience and ditch your so called friend.

I doubt this person is getting stressed about you a compulsive liar only cares about their needs and actually believes they're doing nothing wrong.

This person won't change he/she is dishonest so it's your call but if you decide to give this person another chance, you will regret it.

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

Yes its not easy with someone lieing it makes you doubt yourself an thats not a good thing

Ive been lied to that many times in my life i know when someone lies an blatant

It isnt easy, i bet it was hard to deak with , an i feel hurt the sane as you i felt like screaming tbh i need to confront my friend i think for peace of mind Be brave and for peace of mind do something as it will drive you mad. x"

I will I have to wait till my friend comes back from a work conference there away in London at the mo , Plus im of work for 2 weeks holiday

I know its driving me mad.Its frustrating I cant confront them in person as it needs sorting

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By *helbee OP Couple over a year ago

Nuneaton

"No offence intended here but you sound just like the sort of female you hear about on these dating sites. The ones who fall for a man who's either married and living a double life or fleeces the female and disappears.

You should just put it down to a bad experience and ditch your so called friend.

I doubt this person is getting stressed about you a compulsive liar only cares about their needs and actually believes they're doing nothing wrong.

This person won't change he/she is dishonest so it's your call but if you decide to give this person another chance, you will regret it.

Lol thats where your wrong lol

I dont see married guys point 1

Point 2 my friend is female

Point 3 Im straight

Point 4 Im single an not dating anyone an I dont do relationships

Point 5 You have me wrong lol

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By *andACouple over a year ago

glasgow

If someone is lying to you on a major basis then they clearly have no respect for you. I would bin them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should just put it down to a bad experience and ditch your so called friend.

I doubt this person is getting stressed about you a compulsive liar only cares about their needs and actually believes they're doing nothing wrong.

This person won't change he/she is dishonest so it's your call but if you decide to give this person another chance, you will regret it.

Lol thats where your wrong lol

I dont see married guys point 1

Point 2 my friend is female

Point 3 Im straight

Point 4 Im single an not dating anyone an I dont do relationships

Point 5 You have me wrong lol

This is a perfect example of how a forum comment can get your wires crossed. I was not suggesting you were

any of the above, I was merely using it as an example.

I am right about one thing though you're so called friend is making a fool of you but you can't accept that fact.

So you come on here and decide to try and make a fool of a few people to make yourself feel better. You sound like a lovely person and I take back what I said earlier.

I think you should continue your friendship with the female in question, you both obviously share the same mindset

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If someone is lying to you on a major basis then they clearly have no respect for you. I would bin them."

Really so if you found out a friend had be lying to you, saying they were perfectly fine and healthy, when actually they had cancer.

You would bin them?

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By *andACouple over a year ago

glasgow

"If someone is lying to you on a major basis then they clearly have no respect for you. I would bin them.

Really so if you found out a friend had be lying to you, saying they were perfectly fine and healthy, when actually they had cancer.

You would bin them?"

If the example you come up with is so obviously ridiculous then you can see why it's not something I would take into consideration.

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