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Cheating...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Now at the moment there are lots of threads about will you or wont you play with married men/women...

and lots of people have opinions on both sides.. but this is more about..

What do you think makes people cheat.. ??

Is it built in to someones personality perhaps.

is it the fact that we are not really designed to be faithful..

Is it the other partners fault... Maybe he/she isnt giving them attention.. maybe they are staying out of loyality etc..

I know of several cases where I could see if coming a mile off and although I am not horrid enough to say it to the partner that was cheated ons face.. it was kinda their fault.. and they could have stopped it..

Me personally.. if Master ever had the need to cheat then it would be on me.. I know I would have failed somewhere.. I will always see it like that..

I have been cheated on in the past.. in fact one of my exs had about 6 women on the go at once..(and I know is still a member on here somewhere..have him blocked)

Me I also cheated and lots.. why because I was bored, I wanted affection/attention/ more fun... and generally couldnt get enough.. Did I feel guilty.. no, never... I was just extremly careful.. In fact never ever got caught...

Master is the first person I have neither had the urge too.. or the desire too..

So maybe thats another reason.. they are just not with the right person..

So why do you think people cheat???

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cuz they can

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well to my knowledge ive never had a bloke cheat on me in my life. If he did i would blame it on him for not being able to communicate with me his wants and needs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Cuz they can

In a nutshell!

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By *ue care and attentionWoman over a year ago

birmingham

My profile says it all...I don't consider my self as cheating but understand people in the same situation who do.

Who are we to judge

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I dont think that because its available is a reason though.. I know loads of married men that have turned it down when offered on a plate..

Even Master... He has had some cracking offers of late but it wouldnt be within our rules so Master turned it down..( even though I said I didnt mind)

I have had plenty of people say "what Master doesnt know wont hurt.. "

but it just makes me cross..

However, in the past.. I would have jumped at that..

Which is why I was asking.. its certainly not for me lack of chances as to be fair I get more offers of behind back fun, than I do genuine.. But we just laugh at them.. as if they know me at all they will know Master knows all I do.

and that isnt anything to do with being Master and Slave, thats just because I totally love him...

Katie..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Human's are attention junkies. If a little flirting comes our way and things at home are a bit drab then we thrive on it. Some relish the flirt and allow their ego to be boosted for a while. Some take it further.

Very individual but a mile in someone elses shoes gives a very different perspective of what they're missing/craving.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

far too many different reasons why some people cheat on their partners

- cos they get d*unk

- cos they receive some flattering attention

- flickering eyelashes

- cos guy at work has big bulge

- cos husband gives no satisfaction

- just cos

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its like saying...

"does a bear sh*t in the woods"

There will always be guys and gals who want their cake and eat it too. They like the danger, the risks involved.

What they actually need is a bloody good hobby but cant find one so go out and shag about.

For every guy who cheats , there will be a gal to cheat with.

Its nature

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I think the reason I dont judge those that are on here to cheat is I know that when I was.. it was because I had a huge hole in my life and I tried to fill it..

It actually made things worse.. but I couldnt see that at the time..

but it was a tempory fix for a bad feeling inside.. but after I had my fun, the emptiness would feel worse..

Although unlike most women I craved the physical as well as the attention.. I know from when I worked in that area..That men tend to do it more for the act of sex, the thrill.. for women its normally emotional reasons. Even if its just feeling wanted.

Katie.x

( who is off to bed now as its past bedtime)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You will always get it......

GUYS....can procriate without attaching feelings....

WOMEN....cant...

Now i know there are exception to the basic rules but on the whole...or in it

Guys are programmed to shag as many as possible and women are more fussy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You will always get it......

GUYS....can procriate without attaching feelings....

WOMEN....cant...

Now i know there are exception to the basic rules but on the whole...or in it

Guys are programmed to shag as many as possible and women are more fussy

Hopefully there's no a lot of procreating going on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"..........Guys are programmed to shag as many as possible and women are more fussy

That's a pretty good argument for saying that, if a man and a woman have a fling (or an affair), it's HER fault because men always want to fuck and it's the woman who has decided that it'll happen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You will always get it......

GUYS....can procriate without attaching feelings....

WOMEN....cant...

Now i know there are exception to the basic rules but on the whole...or in it

Guys are programmed to shag as many as possible and women are more fussy

Hopefully there's no a lot of procreating going on."

Look spell checker....its late and me eyes are all fuzzy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You will always get it......

GUYS....can procriate without attaching feelings....

WOMEN....cant...

Now i know there are exception to the basic rules but on the whole...or in it

Guys are programmed to shag as many as possible and women are more fussy

Hopefully there's no a lot of procreating going on.

Look spell checker....its late and me eyes are all fuzzy

Regardless of spelling - casual sex ought not to lead to pregnancy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You will always get it......

GUYS....can procriate without attaching feelings....

WOMEN....cant...

Now i know there are exception to the basic rules but on the whole...or in it

Guys are programmed to shag as many as possible and women are more fussy

Hopefully there's no a lot of procreating going on.

Look spell checker....its late and me eyes are all fuzzy

Regardless of spelling - casual sex ought not to lead to pregnancy."

OMG.........

Just realised who A,C,V IS......

Jeremy kyle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Supposed to say.......

"PUT SOMETHING ON THE END OF IT"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"..........Guys are programmed to shag as many as possible and women are more fussy

That's a pretty good argument for saying that, if a man and a woman have a fling (or an affair), it's HER fault because men always want to fuck and it's the woman who has decided that it'll happen."

Now this is a good arguement

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cheats are cheats at the end of the day so while the female is at home looking after the home and kids and not got enough time for herself let alone her husband its ok to cheat. Or because the female is bored and not getting attention its ok for her to play away what ever happened to communication. And working at relationships. I cant judge as I am single for a reason and wont be a doormat for no one but on another thread they were celebrating 60 years of marridge and you dont get that by throwing the towel in when things get tough.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Another wee song. This time about marriage.

"Don't get married, girls - you'll sign away your life

You may start off as a woman but you'll end up as 'the Wife'

You could be a vestal virgin, take the veil and be a nun

But don't get married, girls, for marriage isn't fun

It's fine when you're romancing and he plays the lover's part

You're the roses in his garden, you're the flame that warms his heart

And his love will last forever and he'll promise you the moon

But just wait until you're wedded then he'll sing a different tune

You're his tapioca pudding, you're the dumplings in his stew

And he'll soon begin to wonder what he ever saw in you

Still he takes without complaining all the dishes you provide

But you see he has to have his bit of jam tart on the side

So don't get married, girls, it's very badly paid

You may start off as the mistress but you'll end up as the maid

Be a daring deep-sea diver or a polished polyglot

But don't get married, girls, for marriage is a plot

Have you seen him in the morning with a face that looks like death

He's got dandruff on his pillow and tobacco on his breath

And he wants some reassurance with his cup of tea in bed

For he's got worries with the mortgage and the bald patch on his head

And he's sure that you're his mother, lays his head upon your breast

So you try to boost his ego, iron his shirt and warm his vest

Then you get him off to work, the mighty hunter is restored

And he leaves you there with nothing but the dreams you can't afford

So don't get married, girls, men are all the same

They just use you when they need you, you'll do better on the game

Be a call girl, be a stripper, be a hostess, be a whore

But don't get married, girls, for marriage is a bore

When he comes home in the evening he can hardly spare a look

All he says is, What's for dinner - after all, you're just the cook

But when he takes you to a party he eyes you with a frown

And you know you've got to look your best, you mustn't let him down

Then he'll clutch you with that 'Look-what-I've-got' twinkle in his eyes

Like he's entered for a raffle and he's won you for the prize

But when the party's over you'll be slogging through the sludge

Half the time a decoration and the other half a drudge

So don't get married, it'll drive you round the bend

It's the lane without a turning, it's the end without an end

Change your lover every Friday, take up tennis, be a nurse

But don't get married, girls, for marriage is a curse

Then you get him off to work, the mighty hunter is restored

And he leaves you there with nothing but the dreams you can't afford. "

Sorry about the layout. I tried several times to fix the spacing.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"You will always get it......

GUYS....can procriate without attaching feelings....

WOMEN....cant...

Now i know there are exception to the basic rules but on the whole...or in it

Guys are programmed to shag as many as possible and women are more fussy

Actually thats bollocks,from an evolutionary biology viewpoint reproduction is more likely where there is competing sperm.Females are therefore "designed " to have sex with a number of men when fertile,men are "designed" to prevent other sperm getting access,keeping their women away from other males.

Of course the fact is the development of conciousness means we are more than the demands of our hormones and endocrine systems.

Why do people cheat?For each person there will be a different life story and therefore a different reason.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You will always get it......

GUYS....can procriate without attaching feelings....

WOMEN....cant...

Now i know there are exception to the basic rules but on the whole...or in it

Guys are programmed to shag as many as possible and women are more fussy

Of course the fact is the development of conciousness means we are more than the demands of our hormones and endocrine systems.

Why do people cheat?For each person there will be a different life story and therefore a different reason."

Well ...i quite likes bollocks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is the reason i put my forum post up called Generalising. I had always thought cheaters were not nice people, that they didnt care about their partner, that they carried on with whoever dropped their knickers, that it was just a bit of fun. Having recently started chatting to someone i knew from many years ago, his 2nd marriage, i guess has the outwardly bit but no sex because she has decided that now she has a child, she doesnt want sex anymore. It made me think about the reasons to cheat as i had commited the cardinal sin of tarring all cheaters with the same brush. Some will do it because they can others are driven by the need for the closeness that is no longer in their marriage.

So yes i agree that perhaps people maybe with the wrong person, people that meet should discuss what they want out of a marriage when they decide that they would like to marry, not marry for love as maybe its lust.

However it hasnt changed by views on playing or not, meeting or not, I still wouldnt meet a cheater no matter what the reason which is a shame because my friend and i fancied each other when we first met but he was married then so nothing happened, and nothing will happen now

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By *eatroy74Man over a year ago

southampton

well i couldnt agree more, the reason i see people other than the one i have lived with is that while we used to get on i am quite sexual, and for a while seeing other people was a good way to iron out the bugs in my relationship however last 6 months or so i have been asking is this enough?id rather share my life and with a swinger and be open and relaxed about it, it almost feels as if i am closeting my sexuality and that is not healthy x

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By *ustyWoman over a year ago

inverclyde

cheating is cheating, but more so if either the wife or husband dont know so i wonr meet a married man at all or if he is with someone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What gets me about cheaters on here is that they are condemed. Especially if it's a guy on here. Women seem to get off easier on here. At the end of the day what they do is their business not yours.

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By *eatroy74Man over a year ago

southampton

this is true but on the same hand i dont wanna be the sad man who is married in relationship despratly trying to get a thrill in his life by having a little fun and your right married women do get off easy ( but there so much fun in bed ) x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are on here I hope for NSA sex nothing more. No headaches, no mind games, no arguing. If I wanted a relationship I'd find one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If the cheaters say they are playing away then i can avoid them. But the ones who don't get all they deserve. Deceive your wife by all means but not me.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"We are on here I hope for NSA sex nothing more. No headaches, no mind games, no arguing. If I wanted a relationship I'd find one. "

really love that attitude in people...

so time to tell you a story of what can happen to people in REAL life....

I was on another swinging site... and I use to go to house parties, at some of these parties I use to see this other single guy at them, was nice and really well respected, one of the people i would really look up to in my early days..

so went to this party one saturday night.. had a brilliant time! get home on the sunday....

so i was a bit shocked to get an anxious phone call on tuesday morning, asking me if said single guy was "drinking".. or if i had noticed anything odd.... now i know that this guy didn't drink at all! so asked what was happening..

apparently guy was on his way home on saturday, fell asleep at the wheel of his car, crashed, and died.

now... funeral was on the fri, people were going frantic, because it seems that single guy wasn't single after all... and wife had just found out about the site!

And I will never forget that fri afternoon, because wife decided to come on the site...

I will NEVER forget the pain and anger in all the words she wrote..

So for all those people who say "what they don't know won't hurt them!" I say this....

for every action there is a reaction... regardless of if you know it or not!

if is very easy for people to turn around and say "not my problem" if you have never had starring in your face before...

but those who have been in the situation of listening to a voice, or putting a face to, or even seeing the pain and anger in words of people who have been in that situation will tell you a very very different story...

I have tried to be as non-judgemental in telling this as I can.... and I hope you all understand that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fabio I can understand what your saying I really can but what happened there was very rare. Maybe if that situation happened to me I may think again but it never as. I can't change my outlook or feelings with this until something happens to change it. I'm happy doing what I'm doing I don't seek married men I don't catch them in my lair to me it's sex nothing more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cheating is always morally wrong ....whatever the relationship..and god knows how many different relationships there are ....a relationship is a pact of trust and boundaries ....betraying the trust of that pact is one of the most devasting things that can happen to a person ....

If theres problems in a relationship ..then they should be expressed ...if theres no middle ground ..I believe the person dissatisfied should find the courage and morality to either quit the relationship or accept the pact ....

This presumes the person is emotionally intelligent and not imbued with a selfishness ..that puts themselves before the potential damage to others..

My view ...and it will never change ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In response to the OP and the question 'why do people cheat'

I think its down to a lack of communication within that couple.. i've never cheated on anyone and honestly dont think i ever will. I would much rather leave that relationship and be happy single than cheat and hurt someone who loved me...

I got cheated on. When i asked who with he replied 'the women i spoke about our problems too'

I wasnt aware we had any, let alone him trying to talk to me about underlying issues he had regarding 'us'.. was crushed.

still dont know what they were.. but will always blame myself though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In response to the OP and the question 'why do people cheat'

I got cheated on. When i asked who with he replied 'the women i spoke about our problems too'

I wasnt aware we had any, let alone him trying to talk to me about underlying issues he had regarding 'us'.. was crushed.

still dont know what they were.. but will always blame myself though "

Don't keep blaming yourself honey. Do it once then move the fuck on!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Very well written post Fabio. I must say though that your post concentrates on the consequences of infidelity and not the motives. I think the Op is asking more about the motives, why do people cheat in the first place.

The story you have written is a very sad one, but the fact is a guy cheated on his wife for a reason, that reason may have been a completely valid one in HIS mind, if that is the case then who are we to judge? Afterall we don't know the rest of his story or what HIS life challenges were.

On the other hand he may have been wracked with guilt because of not being able to justify his behavior to himself. We will never know.

This is in no way a criticism or meant to be insensitive, but I do think it can be easy at times to concentrate on 'consequences' of actions and pay less attention to 'motives' because the 'story' of a consequence is often much more emotive.

Infidelity can be devastating for some peoples lives, everybody knows that, but some people still choose to 'cheat', it suggests to me the motives are stronger than the fear of most consequences.

Why do people cheat? I don't know, but I'm sure those that do have a unique reason specific to them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

From experience and I've been cheated on and his reason was our sex life was stale. He loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I heard that you're settled down,

That you found a girl and you're married now,

I heard that your dreams came true,

Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you,

Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,

I had hoped you'd see my face,

And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,

I wish nothing but the best for you, too,

Don't forget me, I beg,

I remember you said,

"Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah,

You know how the time flies,

Only yesterday was the time of our lives,

We were born and raised in a summer haze,

Bound by the surprise of our glory days,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,

I had hoped you'd see my face,

And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,

I wish nothing but the best for you, too,

Don't forget me, I beg,

I remember you said,

"Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Nothing compares,

No worries or cares,

Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,

I wish nothing but the best for you,

Don't forget me, I beg,

I remember you said,

"Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,

I wish nothing but the best for you, too,

Don't forget me, I beg,

I remember you said,

"Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why people cheat..... ill never have the answer to that one. Every single person is different. Most people are assuming when they talk about cheating husbands that the wife is sat at home waiting for him, whilst hes out having the time of his life shagging some other woman. Thats not always the case.

Would we be more sympathetic if the husband wasnt treated well at home, if he was ignored, if he felt left out of the family unit, if he was never consulted or involved in anything family orientated and was just used as a money making machine, and all he wanted was a companion and some loving sex once in a while.

Is a woman who is beaten up and abused at home, who happens to meet a man who puts a smile on her face or a spring in her step for just a few hours a week.

If a man belittles his wife and takes her for granted and makes fun of her in front of others and never listens to her thoughts or opinions, what if she meets a man who will listen and have lively and fun debates with her and makes her feel worthwhile, just for a few hours a week.

There are too many grey areas. I would not like to judge.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why people cheat..... ill never have the answer to that one. Every single person is different. Most people are assuming when they talk about cheating husbands that the wife is sat at home waiting for him, whilst hes out having the time of his life shagging some other woman. Thats not always the case.

Is a woman who is beaten up and abused at home, who happens to meet a man who puts a smile on her face or a spring in her step for just a few hours a week.

There are too many grey areas. I would not like to judge. "

Hence my generalising thread as i wasnt seeing what goes on behind closed doors until i renewed friendship with a man i knew many years ago who is now in a relationship where sex doesnt happen, ever

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the reasons are many.

they all come down to the same thing...you're not getting what you want at home.

if you were in a loving, fulfilling relationship, you would not be unfaithful.

even the excuse that one partner is sick and unable to make love...if the communication between the couple is strong, they would be discussing this and agree what the solution would be as a couple.

if you want to cheat or be with a cheat, making up excuses to justify them does not make them any less a cheat

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