FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > So frustrating
So frustrating
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm sure I'm not unique here, but I'm hoping to meet a couple , lady or bi couple tomorrow night. I'm verified, not pushy with my messages and only message people who share my interests and age profile. I must have sent 50+ messages not boring ones a bit of wit and offering my face pic if a meet is on. However,I've only had 4 replies saying sorry no.All Im asking is you experienced swingers just to send a quick polite reply saying no or hopefully yes. Is it too much to ask. Rant over I'm up all night at work and a bit grotty...sorry. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm sure I'm not unique here, but I'm hoping to meet a couple , lady or bi couple tomorrow night. I'm verified, not pushy with my messages and only message people who share my interests and age profile. I must have sent 50+ messages not boring ones a bit of wit and offering my face pic if a meet is on.However,I've only had 4 replies saying sorry no.All Im asking is you experienced swingers just to send a quick polite reply saying no or hopefully yes. Is it too much to ask. Rant over I'm up all night at work and a bit grotty...sorry."
So frustrating no ones replied hre as well lol |
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No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If not getting a reply upsets you, best way is not to send any messages out. Problem solved.
Some women get so many messages if they answer them all they'd literally be doing nothing else.
Them not replying to your unasked for message isn't rude, your demanding a reply is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If not getting a reply upsets you, best way is not to send any messages out. Problem solved.
Some women get so many messages if they answer them all they'd literally be doing nothing else.
Them not replying to your unasked for message isn't rude, your demanding a reply is."
If you read the post Im not demanding a reply just think its courtious to say no thanks. Im not a pushy or rude thankyou. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Patience is a virtue bud
Just enjoy the forums and don't get frustrated.
Once you just chill about about fab and have a chuckle its so much more fun  "
Thanks for that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it "
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Didn't realise your rant was expecting a reply? 
More than four replies should cheer him up."
Actually erictdim it didnt. Sorry apart from being miffed Im also dyslexit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it too much to ask you to read the FAQ of the site you have joined OP? This clearly states that no reply means no thank you.
Are you expecting me to reply to every message I get? Those that don't read the profile and don't meet my preferences? No I won't reply to people who can't even grasp the basics of being on here like reading profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First, are you reading their profile? It's irritating to get messages asking for what the profile clearly says isn't wanted. Then, is meeting actually a possibility? Are you within easy reach of each other. Is your own profile giving enough detail to attract or is it making too many demands? Are your photos attention grabbing or just like 100s of others? Just a few points. Good Luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Patience is a virtue bud
Just enjoy the forums and don't get frustrated.
Once you just chill about about fab and have a chuckle its so much more fun
Thanks for that"
Just relax and enjoy , think about what you want to say on your profile , personally I wouldn't put my kik details or phone number your leaving yourself open to grief.
Have a look at good male profiles on here and see what they write or the pictures they take
Good luck bud |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are no photos! That won't help. Would you go round ASDA filling your trolley without looking what you're picking?..... You need to help yourself a bit |
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude."
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sure I'm not unique here, but I'm hoping to meet a couple , lady or bi couple tomorrow night. I'm verified, not pushy with my messages and only message people who share my interests and age profile. I must have sent 50+ messages not boring ones a bit of wit and offering my face pic if a meet is on. However,I've only had 4 replies saying sorry no.All Im asking is you experienced swingers just to send a quick polite reply saying no or hopefully yes. Is it too much to ask. Rant over I'm up all night at work and a bit grotty...sorry."
Is it Thursday already?????
Best advice I've read, once you've sent your messages, empty your sent messages folder.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hang out here on the forums, go to the socials and visit clubs. You're much more likely to get some fun than messaging people. And you may get the hang of what people want in a message a bit more in the process.
But everyone gets lots of messages ignored. It's normal.
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude."
My profile clearly states I am not meeting and also says please do not ask me to meet.
So yesterday I received 4 messages asking me to meet. Are you saying I should reply to those 4 people with a lovely polite no thank you?
If yes, why?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
My profile clearly states I am not meeting and also says please do not ask me to meet.
So yesterday I received 4 messages asking me to meet. Are you saying I should reply to those 4 people with a lovely polite no thank you?
If yes, why?
"
Definatly not. If they cant read fuck em. I read profiles carefully before I message. Btw your legs on yours are gorgeous x |
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"I'm sure I'm not unique here, but I'm hoping to meet a couple , lady or bi couple tomorrow night. I'm verified, not pushy with my messages and only message people who share my interests and age profile. I must have sent 50+ messages not boring ones a bit of wit and offering my face pic if a meet is on. However,I've only had 4 replies saying sorry no.All Im asking is you experienced swingers just to send a quick polite reply saying no or hopefully yes. Is it too much to ask. Rant over I'm up all night at work and a bit grotty...sorry."
It must be really frustrating but there's not a thing you can do about it I'm afraid. With that in mind if you can try and assume that no response is standard you won't feel so frustrated.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hang out here on the forums, go to the socials and visit clubs. You're much more likely to get some fun than messaging people. And you may get the hang of what people want in a message a bit more in the process.
But everyone gets lots of messages ignored. It's normal.
Yes it maybe, but it shouldnt be. Politeness is free. It just seems in this fast world manners get ignored . Thanks for your reply btw x
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
It wont take an hour..maybe fab needs to put an icon next to each message which you just press to say no thanks.. if its too much trouble. Thanks for the reply btw
T
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are no photos! That won't help. Would you go round ASDA filling your trolley without looking what you're picking?..... You need to help yourself a bit"
I have 8 friend ones and say anyone who is interested can request them including a face pic. The ones who arent could just say no thanks |
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
It wont take an hour..maybe fab needs to put an icon next to each message which you just press to say no thanks.. if its too much trouble. Thanks for the reply btw
T
"
Lots of people have suggested auto reply, I don't know if it would be useful or not but it would be worth a try. Genuine question...would you feel less frustrated to see 50 automatically generated "no thank you but thanks for your interest" messages? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
It wont take an hour..maybe fab needs to put an icon next to each message which you just press to say no thanks.. if its too much trouble. Thanks for the reply btw
T
Lots of people have suggested auto reply, I don't know if it would be useful or not but it would be worth a try. Genuine question...would you feel less frustrated to see 50 automatically generated "no thank you but thanks for your interest" messages?"
Reading profiles, sending a personalised reply and getting no response at all can be soul destroying. Even a "no thanks" can make you feel human again.
OP I understand. |
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
It wont take an hour..maybe fab needs to put an icon next to each message which you just press to say no thanks.. if its too much trouble. Thanks for the reply btw
T
Lots of people have suggested auto reply, I don't know if it would be useful or not but it would be worth a try. Genuine question...would you feel less frustrated to see 50 automatically generated "no thank you but thanks for your interest" messages?
Reading profiles, sending a personalised reply and getting no response at all can be soul destroying. Even a "no thanks" can make you feel human again.
OP I understand. "
Yep I can absolutely understand I just wondered if it might be replacing one frustration with another. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"Hang out here on the forums, go to the socials and visit clubs. You're much more likely to get some fun than messaging people. And you may get the hang of what people want in a message a bit more in the process.
But everyone gets lots of messages ignored. It's normal.
"
You said what I was going to say  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it "
Agreed well said, we get inundated, it would be impossible to reply to all. .. and if you come across desperate well that's not erm. ... encouraging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
It wont take an hour..maybe fab needs to put an icon next to each message which you just press to say no thanks.. if its too much trouble. Thanks for the reply btw
T
Lots of people have suggested auto reply, I don't know if it would be useful or not but it would be worth a try. Genuine question...would you feel less frustrated to see 50 automatically generated "no thank you but thanks for your interest" messages?
Reading profiles, sending a personalised reply and getting no response at all can be soul destroying. Even a "no thanks" can make you feel human again.
OP I understand.
Yep I can absolutely understand I just wondered if it might be replacing one frustration with another. "
Sorry I wasn't inferring you don't understand. I can't answer for the OP just saying how I find it. I find it less frustrating to get a "no thanks" than no reply. Human interaction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm sure I'm not unique here, but I'm hoping to meet a couple , lady or bi couple tomorrow night. I'm verified, not pushy with my messages and only message people who share my interests and age profile. I must have sent 50+ messages not boring ones a bit of wit and offering my face pic if a meet is on. However,I've only had 4 replies saying sorry no.All Im asking is you experienced swingers just to send a quick polite reply saying no or hopefully yes. Is it too much to ask. Rant over I'm up all night at work and a bit grotty...sorry."
Ive got a couple profile too, we get maybe 50 messages a day. Are we meant to reply to them all? Its not realistic to expect a reply |
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
It wont take an hour..maybe fab needs to put an icon next to each message which you just press to say no thanks.. if its too much trouble. Thanks for the reply btw
T
Lots of people have suggested auto reply, I don't know if it would be useful or not but it would be worth a try. Genuine question...would you feel less frustrated to see 50 automatically generated "no thank you but thanks for your interest" messages?
Reading profiles, sending a personalised reply and getting no response at all can be soul destroying. Even a "no thanks" can make you feel human again.
OP I understand.
Yep I can absolutely understand I just wondered if it might be replacing one frustration with another.
Sorry I wasn't inferring you don't understand. I can't answer for the OP just saying how I find it. I find it less frustrating to get a "no thanks" than no reply. Human interaction."
Yea I know . I think the auto reply button might be worth a try. |
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
It wont take an hour..maybe fab needs to put an icon next to each message which you just press to say no thanks.. if its too much trouble. Thanks for the reply btw
T
Lots of people have suggested auto reply, I don't know if it would be useful or not but it would be worth a try. Genuine question...would you feel less frustrated to see 50 automatically generated "no thank you but thanks for your interest" messages?"
And then there's the responses to the 'thanks but no thanks'...
Why...
I'll do X...
Can we just...
Can you just...
I'm really...
But WHY!!
As for saying there should be a button to press for no thanks, well there is and its called the delete button. It's in the terms that's it's not rude not to reply round here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some people are just desperate for attention. They upload pics and invite people to look and Fab and send compliments. But it's all one way. As soon as anyone asks for the tiniest thing in return they throw a hissy fit. They just can't see that they are the same as the people they are slagging off.  |
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
It wont take an hour..maybe fab needs to put an icon next to each message which you just press to say no thanks.. if its too much trouble. Thanks for the reply btw
T
Lots of people have suggested auto reply, I don't know if it would be useful or not but it would be worth a try. Genuine question...would you feel less frustrated to see 50 automatically generated "no thank you but thanks for your interest" messages?
And then there's the responses to the 'thanks but no thanks'...
Why...
I'll do X...
Can we just...
Can you just...
I'm really...
But WHY!!
As for saying there should be a button to press for no thanks, well there is and its called the delete button. It's in the terms that's it's not rude not to reply round here! "
We rarely get that and we send a fair few no thanks messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What were you expecting people to say?
A quick no thanks would be nice."
If it's the 241st 'no thanks' of the day, it's not that quick is it?
When my wife has put a new pic up and if it gets high up on the fabbed list, she can receive a message a second at high points. Literally can't read them to keep up never mind reply to them. She does reply to loads, she actually went past the message limit purely from replying to people one day.
So, she could send out around 300 replies a day, and then someone messages demanding a 'polite' reply to an earlier "what you up to?" message which was the 50th "What you up to?" of the morning, and you think it's 'courteous' to reply?
No reply means no thanks. Simple. It's in the FAQ, it's YOU who is being rude.
When you get yet another pizza flyer through your door do you phone them to say you don't want a pizza? No? How rude! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it too much to ask you to read the FAQ of the site you have joined OP? This clearly states that no reply means no thank you.
Are you expecting me to reply to every message I get? Those that don't read the profile and don't meet my preferences? No I won't reply to people who can't even grasp the basics of being on here like reading profiles. "
If youd read some of my posts in reply to some respnses to my posts which just put me down... then maybe you would have seen that I read profiles before I message and who is to say that the FAQs are right that good manners are a thing of the past. But I respect your views and thankyou for taking the time to reply. Its much appreciated and if we ever met Im sure you are a beautiful person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What were you expecting people to say?
A quick no thanks would be nice.
If it's the 241st 'no thanks' of the day, it's not that quick is it?
When my wife has put a new pic up and if it gets high up on the fabbed list, she can receive a message a second at high points. Literally can't read them to keep up never mind reply to them. She does reply to loads, she actually went past the message limit purely from replying to people one day.
So, she could send out around 300 replies a day, and then someone messages demanding a 'polite' reply to an earlier "what you up to?" message which was the 50th "What you up to?" of the morning, and you think it's 'courteous' to reply?
No reply means no thanks. Simple. It's in the FAQ, it's YOU who is being rude.
When you get yet another pizza flyer through your door do you phone them to say you don't want a pizza? No? How rude! "
I love every pizza I buy from fliers but I see your point....well a bit anyway.......just timed it. NO THANKS took 1.7 secs to type. I know it is a long time but some tmes manners are worth spending tme on. Maybe as in one of my last replies if Fab put a no thanks icon it may take 0.95 seconds to press. Eveyone will be happy. Thanks for taking the time to reply x... btw that x toook 0.37 seconds. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just timed it. NO THANKS took 1.7 secs to type. I know it is a long time but some tmes manners are worth spending tme on. Maybe as in one of my last replies if Fab put a no thanks icon it may take 0.95 seconds to press. Eveyone will be happy. Thanks for taking the time to reply x... btw that x toook 0.37 seconds."
Nope, you're not gonna get it.
Quite often the question isn't one where a 'no thanks' is relevant anyway.
"Whereabouts in ..... are you?"
"Why you on at this time of day?"
"You having meets?"
"You enjoying fab?"
"I'm a professional, .. year old from ..... who is into ..., ..., and ... ...(long boring copy and paste)..."
Not really a 'no thanks' to those, and those are all common, multiple every hour messages women have to wade through.
You asked the question, you've had it explained, up to you whether you accept it or not. No reply means no thanks, 99% of men accept that. You can choose to focus on those that don't want to meet you, or you can put your effort into those that do. I know which I prefer. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Gosh OP why are you being so pedantic? "
I know, but it started a debate. I see Ill not win the arguement, but I hope if the swingers who are unindated with messages dont use basic manners on here, they will at least use them in the outside world. Thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gosh OP why are you being so pedantic?
I know, but it started a debate. I see Ill not win the arguement, but I hope if the swingers who are unindated with messages dont use basic manners on here, they will at least use them in the outside world. Thanks "
It wasn't much of a debate.
If it does make you feel better, "Thank you but not for us." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not everybody can meet at short notice unfortunately. There are also a lot of messages to contend with, who are looking for that too... It's a jungle out there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gosh OP why are you being so pedantic?
I know, but it started a debate. I see Ill not win the arguement, but I hope if the swingers who are unindated with messages dont use basic manners on here, they will at least use them in the outside world. Thanks "
What about the people who send messages without obviously reading profiles first. Are they exempt from having any basic manners on here and in the real world? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What were you expecting people to say?
A quick no thanks would be nice."
Nine times out of ten a quick "no thanks" gets a "why" reply. I like to be nice but it's counterproductive and often ends in annoyance on both side. No reply, no interest saves everyone time. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"Not everybody can meet at short notice unfortunately. There are also a lot of messages to contend with, who are looking for that too... It's a jungle out there "
This 
And can I also suggest a few more pics of your profile would help. You aren't far from me but had I come across your profile I would keep going due to lack of pics..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Also handing out your kik, mobile, address, postcode, place of work and detailed plans for the next month comes across as desperate. Women on here will be turned off by that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Gosh OP why are you being so pedantic?
I know, but it started a debate. I see Ill not win the arguement, but I hope if the swingers who are unindated with messages dont use basic manners on here, they will at least use them in the outside world. Thanks
Thankyou for the reply x
It wasn't much of a debate.
If it does make you feel better, "Thank you but not for us.""
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Also handing out your kik, mobile, address, postcode, place of work and detailed plans for the next month comes across as desperate. Women on here will be turned off by that. "
Maybe posing in a 3 piece suit might also fall into that category. But thanks for the reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Also handing out your kik, mobile, address, postcode, place of work and detailed plans for the next month comes across as desperate. Women on here will be turned off by that.
Maybe posing in a 3 piece suit might also fall into that category. But thanks for the reply."
I'm also wearing sandals in that photo, it's a great look and chicks dig it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I had a singles profile I used to get so many messages a day, I didn't reply to all of them because of a few reasons: the person messgeing me didn't float my boat and I am too much of a wuss to say 'thanks but no thanks' as I was scared of a nasty reply back and the other reason was, if I replied to everyone I would have had a part time admin job on my hands, the thing that annoyed me the most was I was very clear on my profile of what I wanted and what I liked (and disliked) and I didn't really see the point in replying to some because they clearly used the scatter gun approach when messgeing and seeing what replies they got and didn't actually read my profile (yes I was one of those annoying single profile that demanded a face pic with the first message)
A reply is always nice but the way I see it, if you don't get a reply from the person you messaged it's kind of them giving you a reply without actually saying anything.
Now I have a couples profile, we get a few messages a week and one of us always replies as our profile is very clear why we are here.
G x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Also handing out your kik, mobile, address, postcode, place of work and detailed plans for the next month comes across as desperate. Women on here will be turned off by that.
Maybe posing in a 3 piece suit might also fall into that category. But thanks for the reply.
I'm also wearing sandals in that photo, it's a great look and chicks dig it! "
Lol like it.. be lucky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Also handing out your kik, mobile, address, postcode, place of work and detailed plans for the next month comes across as desperate. Women on here will be turned off by that.
Maybe posing in a 3 piece suit might also fall into that category. But thanks for the reply.
I'm also wearing sandals in that photo, it's a great look and chicks dig it!
Lol like it.. be lucky"
And you man! My posts are never meant to offend, I'm trying to help but by sense of humour sometimes hides that!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Also handing out your kik, mobile, address, postcode, place of work and detailed plans for the next month comes across as desperate. Women on here will be turned off by that.
Maybe posing in a 3 piece suit might also fall into that category. But thanks for the reply.
I'm also wearing sandals in that photo, it's a great look and chicks dig it!
Lol like it.. be lucky
And you man! My posts are never meant to offend, I'm trying to help but by sense of humour sometimes hides that! "
Get it no worries. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"When I had a singles profile I used to get so many messages a day, I didn't reply to all of them because of a few reasons: the person messgeing me didn't float my boat and I am too much of a wuss to say 'thanks but no thanks' as I was scared of a nasty reply back and the other reason was, if I replied to everyone I would have had a part time admin job on my hands, the thing that annoyed me the most was I was very clear on my profile of what I wanted and what I liked (and disliked) and I didn't really see the point in replying to some because they clearly used the scatter gun approach when messgeing and seeing what replies they got and didn't actually read my profile (yes I was one of those annoying single profile that demanded a face pic with the first message)
A reply is always nice but the way I see it, if you don't get a reply from the person you messaged it's kind of them giving you a reply without actually saying anything.
Now I have a couples profile, we get a few messages a week and one of us always replies as our profile is very clear why we are here.
G x"
Ye I get that if people dont read your profile and obviously dont match what you are looking for. Ignore them but I always read the profile. Cant believe though that you only get a few messages a week . You both look great. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What were you expecting people to say?
A quick no thanks would be nice.
No thanks "
Thanks for the reply. Had a read of your profile... no thanks as well x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not everybody can meet at short notice unfortunately. There are also a lot of messages to contend with, who are looking for that too... It's a jungle out there
This
And can I also suggest a few more pics of your profile would help. You aren't far from me but had I come across your profile I would keep going due to lack of pics....."
Probably great advice and will take note. Had a good read of your profile..and would not message you either. Simply because you cant acc...just as I cant. So see I would only message people who match me. BTW fabd one of your pics as in the words of Baby Bird.."because your gorgeous". X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Before I meet anyone even just for a coffee, I have spent time chatting, if a meet anyone they are on my friends list. Not a random stranger "
Fantastic advice.. and I always put in my messages " no problem meeting for a coffee or drink first." I try to be open and honest in all my messages. I cant speak for other men and how they message. |
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"I'm sure I'm not unique here, but I'm hoping to meet a couple , lady or bi couple tomorrow night. I'm verified, not pushy with my messages and only message people who share my interests and age profile. I must have sent 50+ messages not boring ones a bit of wit and offering my face pic if a meet is on. However,I've only had 4 replies saying sorry no.All Im asking is you experienced swingers just to send a quick polite reply saying no or hopefully yes. Is it too much to ask. Rant over I'm up all night at work and a bit grotty...sorry."
Thought this was a statement? ? They don't usually get replies  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you want to read 50 no thankyou messages"
As sad as it sounds yes I would want 50 no thanks...I would reply back " no worries" at least I would know not to message again. And if I got a message off you Id say no thanks... because you are to far away. You do look lovely though. Thanks for replying. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm sure I'm not unique here, but I'm hoping to meet a couple , lady or bi couple tomorrow night. I'm verified, not pushy with my messages and only message people who share my interests and age profile. I must have sent 50+ messages not boring ones a bit of wit and offering my face pic if a meet is on. However,I've only had 4 replies saying sorry no.All Im asking is you experienced swingers just to send a quick polite reply saying no or hopefully yes. Is it too much to ask. Rant over I'm up all night at work and a bit grotty...sorry.
Thought this was a statement? ? They don't usually get replies "
Looks like some people have manners. Just like you. You replied back. You can now join my good manners club. Send a sae to me and Ill do the rest. Thanks.  |
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Not read the whole thread but I think that what marks out the guys who stay longer term on fab, compared to those who leave, are those who can take a seemingly endless flow of mail out, with virtually none in return.
It must be tough for you op, as well as all the others. It may be different to your experience and expectations elsewhere in life. It is though fundamentally fab, to not get replies if you're a single guy.
I don't know how you deal with it. Making friends here and there and not relying 100% on an internet site for swinging is probably an ideal approach.
As a lot of people have high levels of commitment it's probably also not ideal to set too much focus upon a meet for 1 particular day. If you got a few responses you may find none of them free at that specific time.
If you're mainly looking for single women for sex then including non-swinging avenues for partners may get more success too.
Take heart. Good luck! |
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"So you want to read 50 no thankyou messages
As sad as it sounds yes I would want 50 no thanks...I would reply back " no worries" at least I would know not to message again. And if I got a message off you Id say no thanks... because you are to far away. You do look lovely though. Thanks for replying."
ok. So if someone doesnt reply to you what do you think that means? To most people that would mean the same as no thanks or not interested.
Would you really send 50 messages out just saying no worries.
Now personally if i had the choice between never getting a no thanks and constantly getting a no thanks id go with no reply then when you see you have a message you know it will be positive.
Also if i sent 50 messages out and next day open my mail to 50 no thanks id feel a bit meh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP, you talked about the manners of people who were inundated with messages on here and hoped they had better manners in the real world.
I asked you whether people who sent messages without reading profiles were exempt from having any manners and you completely ignored my post.
Pretty bad manners don't you think? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not read the whole thread but I think that what marks out the guys who stay longer term on fab, compared to those who leave, are those who can take a seemingly endless flow of mail out, with virtually none in return.
It must be tough for you op, as well as all the others. It may be different to your experience and expectations elsewhere in life. It is though fundamentally fab, to not get replies if you're a single guy.
I don't know how you deal with it. Making friends here and there and not relying 100% on an internet site for swinging is probably an ideal approach.
As a lot of people have high levels of commitment it's probably also not ideal to set too much focus upon a meet for 1 particular day. If you got a few responses you may find none of them free at that specific time.
If you're mainly looking for single women for sex then including non-swinging avenues for partners may get more success too.
Take heart. Good luck!"
Thanks for that..wise words.
 |
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"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
It wont take an hour..maybe fab needs to put an icon next to each message which you just press to say no thanks.. if its too much trouble. Thanks for the reply btw
T
Lots of people have suggested auto reply, I don't know if it would be useful or not but it would be worth a try. Genuine question...would you feel less frustrated to see 50 automatically generated "no thank you but thanks for your interest" messages?
Reading profiles, sending a personalised reply and getting no response at all can be soul destroying. Even a "no thanks" can make you feel human again.
OP I understand.
Yep I can absolutely understand I just wondered if it might be replacing one frustration with another.
Sorry I wasn't inferring you don't understand. I can't answer for the OP just saying how I find it. I find it less frustrating to get a "no thanks" than no reply. Human interaction.
Yea I know . I think the auto reply button might be worth a try. "
I was on a site with auto reply. Number one complaint? Impersonal auto replies! |
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Have to say even though we are not meeting at the moment we still get loads of messages and think it's only polite to send a nice reply. Been doing it like this for 10 years now and just think it's good manners, so understand your frustration. Have fun out there X |
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"So you want to read 50 no thankyou messages
As sad as it sounds yes I would want 50 no thanks...I would reply back " no worries" at least I would know not to message again. And if I got a message off you Id say no thanks... because you are to far away. You do look lovely though. Thanks for replying."
See so you would reply again to them?! Doubling the amount of messages they have to delete.
If everyone was sending "no thanks" and "no worries" messages no-one would ever have time to actually meet! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Gosh OP why are you being so pedantic?
I know, but it started a debate. I see Ill not win the arguement, but I hope if the swingers who are unindated with messages dont use basic manners on here, they will at least use them in the outside world. Thanks
What about the people who send messages without obviously reading profiles first. Are they exempt from having any basic manners on here and in the real world? "
A thousand appologies I really thought I had replied. It was a good point and I have replied to someone who said something similar. If its the case they havent obviously read you profile then it reserves no reply. I always read the profile properly first..x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Gosh OP why are you being so pedantic?
I know, but it started a debate. I see Ill not win the arguement, but I hope if the swingers who are unindated with messages dont use basic manners on here, they will at least use them in the outside world. Thanks
What about the people who send messages without obviously reading profiles first. Are they exempt from having any basic manners on here and in the real world?
A thousand appologies I really thought I had replied. It was a good point and I have replied to someone who said something similar. If its the case they havent obviously read you profile then it reserves no reply. I always read the profile properly first..x "
I forgive you because I'm nice like that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you want to read 50 no thankyou messages
As sad as it sounds yes I would want 50 no thanks...I would reply back " no worries" at least I would know not to message again. And if I got a message off you Id say no thanks... because you are to far away. You do look lovely though. Thanks for replying.
See so you would reply again to them?! Doubling the amount of messages they have to delete.
If everyone was sending "no thanks" and "no worries" messages no-one would ever have time to actually meet!"
Yes I see your point them nano seconds it takes to delete messages would in fringe on meet times. You still look gorgeous btw x  |
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"So you want to read 50 no thankyou messages
As sad as it sounds yes I would want 50 no thanks...I would reply back " no worries" at least I would know not to message again. And if I got a message off you Id say no thanks... because you are to far away. You do look lovely though. Thanks for replying.
See so you would reply again to them?! Doubling the amount of messages they have to delete.
If everyone was sending "no thanks" and "no worries" messages no-one would ever have time to actually meet!
Yes I see your point them nano seconds it takes to delete messages would in fringe on meet times. You still look gorgeous btw x "
Not nano seconds if you take the time to read profiles like I do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you want to read 50 no thankyou messages
As sad as it sounds yes I would want 50 no thanks...I would reply back " no worries" at least I would know not to message again. And if I got a message off you Id say no thanks... because you are to far away. You do look lovely though. Thanks for replying.
See so you would reply again to them?! Doubling the amount of messages they have to delete.
If everyone was sending "no thanks" and "no worries" messages no-one would ever have time to actually meet!
Yes I see your point them nano seconds it takes to delete messages would in fringe on meet times. You still look gorgeous btw x
Not nano seconds if you take the time to read profiles like I do."
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you want to read 50 no thankyou messages
As sad as it sounds yes I would want 50 no thanks...I would reply back " no worries" at least I would know not to message again. And if I got a message off you Id say no thanks... because you are to far away. You do look lovely though. Thanks for replying.
See so you would reply again to them?! Doubling the amount of messages they have to delete.
If everyone was sending "no thanks" and "no worries" messages no-one would ever have time to actually meet!
Yes I see your point them nano seconds it takes to delete messages would in fringe on meet times. You still look gorgeous btw x
Not nano seconds if you take the time to read profiles like I do."
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you want to read 50 no thankyou messages
As sad as it sounds yes I would want 50 no thanks...I would reply back " no worries" at least I would know not to message again. And if I got a message off you Id say no thanks... because you are to far away. You do look lovely though. Thanks for replying.
See so you would reply again to them?! Doubling the amount of messages they have to delete.
If everyone was sending "no thanks" and "no worries" messages no-one would ever have time to actually meet!
Yes I see your point them nano seconds it takes to delete messages would in fringe on meet times. You still look gorgeous btw x
Not nano seconds if you take the time to read profiles like I do."
You are one of the great people then with manners and good breeding x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Gosh OP why are you being so pedantic?
I know, but it started a debate. I see Ill not win the arguement, but I hope if the swingers who are unindated with messages dont use basic manners on here, they will at least use them in the outside world. Thanks
What about the people who send messages without obviously reading profiles first. Are they exempt from having any basic manners on here and in the real world?
A thousand appologies I really thought I had replied. It was a good point and I have replied to someone who said something similar. If its the case they havent obviously read you profile then it reserves no reply. I always read the profile properly first..x
I forgive you because I'm nice like that "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Gosh OP why are you being so pedantic?
I know, but it started a debate. I see Ill not win the arguement, but I hope if the swingers who are unindated with messages dont use basic manners on here, they will at least use them in the outside world. Thanks
What about the people who send messages without obviously reading profiles first. Are they exempt from having any basic manners on here and in the real world?
A thousand appologies I really thought I had replied. It was a good point and I have replied to someone who said something similar. If its the case they havent obviously read you profile then it reserves no reply. I always read the profile properly first..x
I forgive you because I'm nice like that "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Gosh OP why are you being so pedantic?
I know, but it started a debate. I see Ill not win the arguement, but I hope if the swingers who are unindated with messages dont use basic manners on here, they will at least use them in the outside world. Thanks
What about the people who send messages without obviously reading profiles first. Are they exempt from having any basic manners on here and in the real world?
A thousand appologies I really thought I had replied. It was a good point and I have replied to someone who said something similar. If its the case they havent obviously read you profile then it reserves no reply. I always read the profile properly first..x
I forgive you because I'm nice like that "
I can tell that by your profile. Such a shame you are so far away x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have to say even though we are not meeting at the moment we still get loads of messages and think it's only polite to send a nice reply. Been doing it like this for 10 years now and just think it's good manners, so understand your frustration. Have fun out there X "
So nice to know I am not alone on this...and from much more experienced swingers than me. THANKYOU for your reply. Hang your heads in shame you naughty ones who dont reply. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No reply means no. People get rather quite a lot of messages each day. Imagine how long it would take them to read and reply to all of them including the terribly rude ones.
That was reply no4... I think that should do it
Still stand by my words a quick no thanks doesnt take long. Copy and paste if you want to....though I dont mean to be rude.
Some women here get 100 messages a day:
So they will skim them, read the ones from people they know, and ones that catch their attention, and ignore/ delete the rest .
On the basis that it takes probably at least a minute minimum, to read and reply to each message, do you really think anyone is going to spend at least an hour a day just replying "no thanks"?
It wont take an hour..maybe fab needs to put an icon next to each message which you just press to say no thanks.. if its too much trouble. Thanks for the reply btw
T
Lots of people have suggested auto reply, I don't know if it would be useful or not but it would be worth a try. Genuine question...would you feel less frustrated to see 50 automatically generated "no thank you but thanks for your interest" messages?
Reading profiles, sending a personalised reply and getting no response at all can be soul destroying. Even a "no thanks" can make you feel human again.
OP I understand.
Yep I can absolutely understand I just wondered if it might be replacing one frustration with another.
Sorry I wasn't inferring you don't understand. I can't answer for the OP just saying how I find it. I find it less frustrating to get a "no thanks" than no reply. Human interaction.
Yea I know . I think the auto reply button might be worth a try.
I was on a site with auto reply. Number one complaint? Impersonal auto replies! "
Ahh but if those who complained were on this site would they feel half as bad with sweet fa as a reply. I think not. Cheers for yours though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Also handing out your kik, mobile, address, postcode, place of work and detailed plans for the next month comes across as desperate. Women on here will be turned off by that.
Maybe posing in a 3 piece suit might also fall into that category. But thanks for the reply.
I'm also wearing sandals in that photo, it's a great look and chicks dig it!
Lol like it.. be lucky
And you man! My posts are never meant to offend, I'm trying to help but by sense of humour sometimes hides that! "
Heeded your words removed kik name and phone number. Taken to wearing sandals with socks...so hopefully a few more replies |
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"So you want to read 50 no thankyou messages
As sad as it sounds yes I would want 50 no thanks...I would reply back " no worries" at least I would know not to message again. And if I got a message off you Id say no thanks... because you are to far away. You do look lovely though. Thanks for replying.
See so you would reply again to them?! Doubling the amount of messages they have to delete.
If everyone was sending "no thanks" and "no worries" messages no-one would ever have time to actually meet!
Yes I see your point them nano seconds it takes to delete messages would in fringe on meet times. You still look gorgeous btw x
Not nano seconds if you take the time to read profiles like I do.
You are one of the great people then with manners and good breeding x"
I read the profiles.. Doesn't mean I reply to messages. I obviously have bad manners |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you want to read 50 no thankyou messages
As sad as it sounds yes I would want 50 no thanks...I would reply back " no worries" at least I would know not to message again. And if I got a message off you Id say no thanks... because you are to far away. You do look lovely though. Thanks for replying.
See so you would reply again to them?! Doubling the amount of messages they have to delete.
If everyone was sending "no thanks" and "no worries" messages no-one would ever have time to actually meet!
Yes I see your point them nano seconds it takes to delete messages would in fringe on meet times. You still look gorgeous btw x
Not nano seconds if you take the time to read profiles like I do.
You are one of the great people then with manners and good breeding x
I read the profiles.. Doesn't mean I reply to messages. I obviously have bad manners"
Im sure you are a lovely person. Looking at your profile pic you look very nice.. I guess we'll never agree. Shame x
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