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Child Custody Rights. Who Should Be Given Them?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?"
My ex was given residence of my children x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?"
Out of interest what is the source of that quote? I only ask because I wonder whether there is an element of bias in it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Making a judgement on is it fair to one gender without knowing each individual case..?"
Just the fact it seems to be granted automatically in the mothers favour?
Wondered if people thought that was fair in this day and age?
Or is it outdated now?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And what is sad is that solicitors and courts have to sort this stiff out, that relationships fail so bad that custody and access can;t be sorted amicably. Nobody wins in an acrimonious split, least of all the children concerned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
Out of interest what is the source of that quote? I only ask because I wonder whether there is an element of bias in it"
The OP is known for unsubstantiated claims. Don't hold your breath on it being a reliable source. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Making a judgement on is it fair to one gender without knowing each individual case..?
Just the fact it seems to be granted automatically in the mothers favour?
Wondered if people thought that was fair in this day and age?
Or is it outdated now?
"
Not in my case...
I left the family home after finding my ex in bed with my best mate. I had no where to live, very little money and it wasn't fair if I took kids to sleep on different settees each night so I left them with their dad ( he's a fantastic dad ) council would only offer b&b . Ex took me court n won. It's was his house ( he owns it) we wasn't married. X |
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"Making a judgement on is it fair to one gender without knowing each individual case..?
Just the fact it seems to be granted automatically in the mothers favour?
Wondered if people thought that was fair in this day and age?
Or is it outdated now?
"
That's a bit of a sweeping statement, had you any actual facts you would have included them in your Op to give some background to your suggestion.
Hence I am out of here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The fairness to the children should be the priority, neither the mother or the fathers needs should be taken into account ahead of those of the children"
Exactly  |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Women DON'T automatically have custody of children upon relationship breakdown. Under the Children Act 1989, the Welfare of the Child is placed at the centre of the court's decision. In some instances it will decide in the father's favour, other times the mother. The court will take various factors into account in making this decision and these factors may, on the individual circumstances may favour either party. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I've googled the text and it as biased a source as expected. Hardly settin g the scene for an unbiased debate"
That's why it's open for a debate in a forum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Each case should be decided on its own merits and it is what is right for the child that is the basis for the decision made for where they live the majority of the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women DON'T automatically have custody of children upon relationship breakdown. Under the Children Act 1989, the Welfare of the Child is placed at the centre of the court's decision. In some instances it will decide in the father's favour, other times the mother. The court will take various factors into account in making this decision and these factors may, on the individual circumstances may favour either party. "
Yes, I have been struggling with the use of the word 'automatically' by the OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Each case should be decided on its own merits and it is what is right for the child that is the basis for the decision made for where they live the majority of the time."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are people really incapable of debating a subject if the question wasn't posed in a totally objective way?  "
But what's the point if the person asking the question isn't open to discussion? He's clearly biased and closed to opinions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Each case should be decided on its own merits and it is what is right for the child that is the basis for the decision made for where they live the majority of the time.
"
Parents will lie the hind legs off a donkey in this situation. social workers will have agendas, courts have agendas. In those circumstances its impossible to decide what is best for a child.
If the question is one of equality men and women should be equal in everything.There are laws that say so. The reality on the other hand is in some situations one sex is more equal than the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the parents cant amicably decide they should be imprisoned indefinitely until they can.
And where do the children live in the meantime?  "
fostered or in care. |
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Divorces are traumatic for the children. It is not their fault that their parents are splitting up and they should be put first every time.
The primary carer in most relationships is the mother it is therefore right and proper that in a breakup the default setting should be that the mother gets custody of the children, if the father is the primary carer then that is easy to show and would qualify as exceptional circumstances.
The idea that to give legal equity between the adults breaking up over custody of children should take precedence over the welfare of the children for some perverted sense of political correctness is abhorrent to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The fairness to the children should be the priority, neither the mother or the fathers needs should be taken into account ahead of those of the children"
well said |
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We should forget the gender I these situation..after all a growing number of same sex couples have similar dilemma's
It should be about parenting and what is the best option for the child or children involved.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are people really incapable of debating a subject if the question wasn't posed in a totally objective way?
But what's the point if the person asking the question isn't open to discussion? He's clearly biased and closed to opinions. "
Lots of people contribute to threads. I'm happy to chat to someone with totally opposing views.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are people really incapable of debating a subject if the question wasn't posed in a totally objective way?
But what's the point if the person asking the question isn't open to discussion? He's clearly biased and closed to opinions.
Lots of people contribute to threads. I'm happy to chat to someone with totally opposing views. "
See other people maybe, but I don't get discussing a point with someone with their heels dug in. It's not a discussion at that point. This is why it's silly engaging with the OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are people really incapable of debating a subject if the question wasn't posed in a totally objective way?
But what's the point if the person asking the question isn't open to discussion? He's clearly biased and closed to opinions. "
I have the feeling op likes to post things that might provoke reaction. I doubt its for real answers and more for the reactions that will follow...that's my take anyhow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are people really incapable of debating a subject if the question wasn't posed in a totally objective way?
But what's the point if the person asking the question isn't open to discussion? He's clearly biased and closed to opinions.
I have the feeling op likes to post things that might provoke reaction. I doubt its for real answers and more for the reactions that will follow...that's my take anyhow. "
Nah I get that, too. He doesn't engage in discussion in a valued way, just poses a question and antagonises throughout posts. I'm not sure how it's not against the rules, when bitching is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are people really incapable of debating a subject if the question wasn't posed in a totally objective way?
But what's the point if the person asking the question isn't open to discussion? He's clearly biased and closed to opinions.
I have the feeling op likes to post things that might provoke reaction. I doubt its for real answers and more for the reactions that will follow...that's my take anyhow.
Nah I get that, too. He doesn't engage in discussion in a valued way, just poses a question and antagonises throughout posts. I'm not sure how it's not against the rules, when bitching is?"
Pot.. kettle...  |
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"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
Out of interest what is the source of that quote? I only ask because I wonder whether there is an element of bias in it
The OP is known for unsubstantiated claims. Don't hold your breath on it being a reliable source. "
In fairness to the OP, the UK adopted a Scottish ruling in the 1800's, which stipulated that as women have a natural MATERNAL bond with a child, it is only right that children should remain in the residency of the mother. This decision, and the UK adopting such, set the precedent in UK common Law/Family courts.
In fact a Barrister whom I was working alongside once referred to Family Law as, Women's Law! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are people really incapable of debating a subject if the question wasn't posed in a totally objective way?
But what's the point if the person asking the question isn't open to discussion? He's clearly biased and closed to opinions.
I have the feeling op likes to post things that might provoke reaction. I doubt its for real answers and more for the reactions that will follow...that's my take anyhow.
Nah I get that, too. He doesn't engage in discussion in a valued way, just poses a question and antagonises throughout posts. I'm not sure how it's not against the rules, when bitching is?
Pot.. kettle... "
I don't follow you, I never post inflammatory questions? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are people really incapable of debating a subject if the question wasn't posed in a totally objective way?
But what's the point if the person asking the question isn't open to discussion? He's clearly biased and closed to opinions.
I have the feeling op likes to post things that might provoke reaction. I doubt its for real answers and more for the reactions that will follow...that's my take anyhow.
Nah I get that, too. He doesn't engage in discussion in a valued way, just poses a question and antagonises throughout posts. I'm not sure how it's not against the rules, when bitching is?"
Who knows...
Whatever though...his posts are a bit to obvious to walk into that easily
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are people really incapable of debating a subject if the question wasn't posed in a totally objective way?
But what's the point if the person asking the question isn't open to discussion? He's clearly biased and closed to opinions.
I have the feeling op likes to post things that might provoke reaction. I doubt its for real answers and more for the reactions that will follow...that's my take anyhow.
Nah I get that, too. He doesn't engage in discussion in a valued way, just poses a question and antagonises throughout posts. I'm not sure how it's not against the rules, when bitching is?
Pot.. kettle... "
You making tea?
Nice one...black with two cheers |
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My ex & I divorced amicably without Solicitors. He was at fault. Our children live with me in the family home (which I bought him out of) as I am in school catchment & he works away a lot. He has unlimited access. He's a fantastic dad & actually a fairly good ex. We co-parent efficiently, back each other up when needed but also stand our ground with each other
When I was 12/13 I went to live with my dad & Stepmum as my stepdad was in the RAF & being posted abroad. I didn't want to go. It was a heartbreaking decision. But the best for me.
I am very pro-fathers rights where they are deserved.
Generally, mothers have easier access to flexible working. The system is sometimes wrong & needs an overhaul.
OP, do you have children? Are you separated from their mother? Or just trying to provoke a reaction? |
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"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?"
what is the source for this statement? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?"
The majority of separating partners can sort out childcare without resort to courts.
For rhose who can't, the only issue for the courts is what is best for the children.
In many instances involving younger children (and note that I said many and did not say all), the mother will have been the primary carer which is a strong factor to take into account. It is not the only factor and nothing is automatic.
It is not about the rights of one particular gender. It is about what is best for the children.
By the way, "custody" went out the window donkeys years ago. It was replaced with "residence." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
The majority of separating partners can sort out childcare without resort to courts.
For rhose who can't, the only issue for the courts is what is best for the children.
In many instances involving younger children (and note that I said many and did not say all), the mother will have been the primary carer which is a strong factor to take into account. It is not the only factor and nothing is automatic.
It is not about the rights of one particular gender. It is about what is best for the children.
By the way, "custody" went out the window donkeys years ago. It was replaced with "residence.""
its highly debatable if the mother is the primary carer. On what basis did they come up with that theory ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?"
Wow, you like being controversial don't you?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
The majority of separating partners can sort out childcare without resort to courts.
For rhose who can't, the only issue for the courts is what is best for the children.
In many instances involving younger children (and note that I said many and did not say all), the mother will have been the primary carer which is a strong factor to take into account. It is not the only factor and nothing is automatic.
It is not about the rights of one particular gender. It is about what is best for the children.
By the way, "custody" went out the window donkeys years ago. It was replaced with "residence." its highly debatable if the mother is the primary carer. On what basis did they come up with that theory ?"
Who is "they" and what theory? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
The majority of separating partners can sort out childcare without resort to courts.
For rhose who can't, the only issue for the courts is what is best for the children.
In many instances involving younger children (and note that I said many and did not say all), the mother will have been the primary carer which is a strong factor to take into account. It is not the only factor and nothing is automatic.
It is not about the rights of one particular gender. It is about what is best for the children.
By the way, "custody" went out the window donkeys years ago. It was replaced with "residence." its highly debatable if the mother is the primary carer. On what basis did they come up with that theory ?
Who is "they" and what theory?"
its self explanatory. if you dont understand im not telling you . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
The majority of separating partners can sort out childcare without resort to courts.
For rhose who can't, the only issue for the courts is what is best for the children.
In many instances involving younger children (and note that I said many and did not say all), the mother will have been the primary carer which is a strong factor to take into account. It is not the only factor and nothing is automatic.
It is not about the rights of one particular gender. It is about what is best for the children.
By the way, "custody" went out the window donkeys years ago. It was replaced with "residence." its highly debatable if the mother is the primary carer. On what basis did they come up with that theory ?
Who is "they" and what theory?its self explanatory. if you dont understand im not telling you ."
I explained with statistics and you ignored it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?"
certain men don't even deserve the title of 'father'...that's all I will say on the subject  |
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By *estivalMan
over a year ago
borehamwood |
My daughter lives with her mother and i get to see her as much as i want and all without court involvment.personaly i think the child is better staying with the mother wen they are a young age unless the mother is a danger to them.if parents split wen the kids are nearing there teens then it should be down to the child who they would prefer to live with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
certain men don't even deserve the title of 'father'...that's all I will say on the subject "
The same can be said for certain women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
certain men don't even deserve the title of 'father'...that's all I will say on the subject "
Some women don't deserve the title of 'mother'.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My daughter lives with her mother and i get to see her as much as i want and all without court involvment.personaly i think the child is better staying with the mother wen they are a young age unless the mother is a danger to them.if parents split wen the kids are nearing there teens then it should be down to the child who they would prefer to live with"
I'm not a danger to my kids n they live with theit dad... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There seems to be a way of thinking that the parent with residency is the better parent.
That's not true.
There are many factors that get taken into effect, if one parent has to work away a lot of the time for example, it makes sense for the child/children to live primarily with the other parent but it does not mean the other parent isn't as good as parent as the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
certain men don't even deserve the title of 'father'...that's all I will say on the subject
Some women don't deserve the title of 'mother'.... "
I said certain men, meaning one in particular.. I wasn't having a sly dig at anyone as I can only speak for myself and my own circumstances...as I hope that's what you are referring to, too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
certain men don't even deserve the title of 'father'...that's all I will say on the subject
Some women don't deserve the title of 'mother'....
I said certain men, meaning one in particular.. I wasn't having a sly dig at anyone as I can only speak for myself and my own circumstances...as I hope that's what you are referring to, too "
Yep i know a few mothers who are in it for the benefits and use kids as weapons xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i got full residency of my girls when they were 2 and 5 cause the courts said i could give them a more stable upbringing and my ex-wife had her parental rights suspended and could only see them on school holidays . the girls are now 16 and 20 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think your statement is skewed to make it seem that fathers rights are not taken account of.
Many parents nowadays sort it between themselves - without a court getting involved. Arbitration often works, if they cannot agree it and court is a last resort. Courts often make the primary carer the parent that fulfilled that role prior to the split, if it's in the best interest of the child. Predominantly that role is still fulfilled by Mum's (it is changing but that's the way we still seem to split it). Plus by the time a child is 14 - I think that's the age although may be slightly younger. They can have an input into who they want to live with. There are fantastic single fathers as well as mothers. As long as the child's interests comes first - that's what matters. And they hopefully come out as well rounded individuals who aren't messed up by the split.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Back in the day it was alway the mother who got the children, yes times have changed but it's still down to the social services and the court.
If you get stuck with a magistrate who leans more to the female side then the male is screwed before he even starts not always the case mind.
When I was 5 with 3 younger brothers my dad never had the problem as my mum could not even be bothered to attend the case  so we ended up with dad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think it's fair that women should automatically be given custody rights to the children?
Here's an extract I've pasted for you.
The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
What's your thoughts on this?
Is it fair to the fathers?
Out of interest what is the source of that quote? I only ask because I wonder whether there is an element of bias in it"
Given how biased the CSA are, I suspect they wrote it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It should be 50/50. If women want rights in the work place, then men should get rights in the home.
A mans right to host the child in his own home 50% of the time, should only be taken away if he is abusive or if he gives up some of it for the benefit of the child. But the default should be 50/50 shared custody. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It should be 50/50. If women want rights in the work place, then men should get rights in the home.
A mans right to host the child in his own home 50% of the time, should only be taken away if he is abusive or if he gives up some of it for the benefit of the child. But the default should be 50/50 shared custody. "
So the rights of the child aren't included then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When me and my ex split, it was decided (although my maternal feelings did surface) that they would stay with their dad, he has always been a stay at home dad (don't get me started on that though) and it was natural for them to stay where they were happiest and settled.
However when I've moved, my kids have all been told by me and my ex if they want to move with me, it's an option. They are older and can make that choice (although I am encouraging the eldest to stay with his dad as he is in the last year of school)
I like to think we have a happy medium.
G x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It should be 50/50. If women want rights in the work place, then men should get rights in the home.
A mans right to host the child in his own home 50% of the time, should only be taken away if he is abusive or if he gives up some of it for the benefit of the child. But the default should be 50/50 shared custody. "
Not sure how gender equality in the workplace is relevant.
Isn't what works practically and emotionally for the children the best option? Rather than a default option?
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By *uboCouple
over a year ago
East kilbride |
In my opinion, kids in general are closer to their mother. Granted not always but in the majority of the time.
The mother gives birth, weans them, spends more time with them pre school etc and have that special bond that mothers have.
Unless there is a very good reason why mothers shouldn't have the kids stay with them, then that should be decision.
Fathers should have visitation rights and also have kids stay over at times but a 50/50 custody is a joke as kids don't know wether they are coming or going and will do better in the one place.
Kids of teen age are a different story and should have a big part to play in any decisions. (again imo)
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I went to full contested hearing with my eldest and got a no contact order, which is almost impossible to get. They didn't see their father again till they were leaving school (father's for justice would hate me).
When I split with my youngest's dad we agreed he would have primary residence and I have them three nights a week and extra in the holidays. He gets the child benefit and I pay maintenance.
There were different circumstances for each and both were the correct decisions. See women can be reasonable 
I know lots of kids now who have 50/50 time with each parent. I have known a few single dads. I also know lots of kids with waste of space fathers who they don't see.
While it is still the mother who gives up work to have kids or works reduced hours (to the detriment of their careers) in the majority of families, it follows that more women are going to be the primary parent. It is changing, but slowly. |
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"So I've googled the text and it as biased a source as expected. Hardly settin g the scene for an unbiased debate
That's why it's open for a debate in a forum "
Why don't you post the source of your unbiased inflammatory opening posts so that people can get all of the information you hold and not just the bit you want them to have so they get all riled up? |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Women DON'T automatically have custody of children upon relationship breakdown. Under the Children Act 1989, the Welfare of the Child is placed at the centre of the court's decision. In some instances it will decide in the father's favour, other times the mother. The court will take various factors into account in making this decision and these factors may, on the individual circumstances may favour either party. "
Well said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that the facts are different to the initial post. Fathers will have joint parental responsibility if married to the mother at the time a child is born.
Can't remember the date - but they have parental responsibility now if named on the birth certificate as the father.
Many couples now do 50/50 shared care. It's not one way - it's what's best for the child. That can change as the child grows up. Children may move between parents. Most parents will change what they do to fit in with their children and their needs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i left the family home last summer I left the girls with my ex because I was suffering with mental health issues and I felt it was better for them if I left. My girls come n stay with me in my new flat and now I am far less stressed and far happier we all get on so much better..for my family me leaving was the best decision. Xxx |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"How is it fair to fathers
I have kids 50/50 That should be the given unless circumstances mean it has to be different"
50/50 isn't necessarily fair on some children. Some need more stability than that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It should be based on what is deemed as being in the best interest of the child, regardless of the sex of the parent. Ideally 50/50.... Even better would be no need for court. For parents to put whatever differences they have to the side, and put the child first. When you have a child. Your love for your child, and the their happiness should override any animosity... And believe me. I have had to bury a lot of hurt for my girl... But her dad is just as important as I am to her. And she sees a happy mummy and daddy who respect each other, and are great friends now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my opinion, kids in general are closer to their mother. Granted not always but in the majority of the time.
The mother gives birth, weans them, spends more time with them pre school etc and have that special bond that mothers have.
Unless there is a very good reason why mothers shouldn't have the kids stay with them, then that should be decision.
Fathers should have visitation rights and also have kids stay over at times but a 50/50 custody is a joke as kids don't know wether they are coming or going and will do better in the one place.
Kids of teen age are a different story and should have a big part to play in any decisions. (again imo)
"
Can't agree with that, if it was say an 80/20 split, I would agree with you but 50/50 is an even split. And just because a mother gave birth and the child is therefore closer to them, doesn't mean they should automatically have custody. I've known some great dads, some who have had their kids since they were babies and indeed one man even took on a child that he wasn't related to, and the kids are great and well adjusted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went to full contested hearing with my eldest and got a no contact order, which is almost impossible to get. They didn't see their father again till they were leaving school (father's for justice would hate me).
When I split with my youngest's dad we agreed he would have primary residence and I have them three nights a week and extra in the holidays. He gets the child benefit and I pay maintenance.
There were different circumstances for each and both were the correct decisions. See women can be reasonable
I know lots of kids now who have 50/50 time with each parent. I have known a few single dads. I also know lots of kids with waste of space fathers who they don't see.
While it is still the mother who gives up work to have kids or works reduced hours (to the detriment of their careers) in the majority of families, it follows that more women are going to be the primary parent. It is changing, but slowly. "
Only if you were doing the full hearing for the wrong reason |
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"I went to full contested hearing with my eldest and got a no contact order, which is almost impossible to get. They didn't see their father again till they were leaving school (father's for justice would hate me).
When I split with my youngest's dad we agreed he would have primary residence and I have them three nights a week and extra in the holidays. He gets the child benefit and I pay maintenance.
There were different circumstances for each and both were the correct decisions. See women can be reasonable
I know lots of kids now who have 50/50 time with each parent. I have known a few single dads. I also know lots of kids with waste of space fathers who they don't see.
While it is still the mother who gives up work to have kids or works reduced hours (to the detriment of their careers) in the majority of families, it follows that more women are going to be the primary parent. It is changing, but slowly.
Only if you were doing the full hearing for the wrong reason "
It has been proved to be the right decision, he was an arse when he met them when they were older, they now have no contact again. He also has another 4/5 kids he isn't allowed to see either. Trust me, as a single mum I could have done with some maintenance and a night off now and then, it made life much harder for me. It was worth it as he couldn't fuck with their heads when they were little. As an adult they were perfectly capable to tell him to fuck off themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've googled the text and it as biased a source as expected. Hardly settin g the scene for an unbiased debate
That's why it's open for a debate in a forum
Why don't you post the source of your unbiased inflammatory opening posts so that people can get all of the information you hold and not just the bit you want them to have so they get all riled up? "
The source was posted but the link is against forum rules so removed. Google for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The one thing you notice about threads on children is how they become "property".
My children is easily manipulated into MY children.
The government don't have a right to tell me what to do with MY children but I don't mind them paying for them,I don't want my ex having a say but I want them to pay for them.... it's a bizarre mindset and I've met people utterly devastated that their children turned out wankers despite all their "best" efforts and I've met people completely unfazed that their children turned out just dandy despite putting in no effort .
At the end of the day you can't buy love, you can only teach it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When me and my ex split, it was decided (although my maternal feelings did surface) that they would stay with their dad, he has always been a stay at home dad (don't get me started on that though) and it was natural for them to stay where they were happiest and settled.
However when I've moved, my kids have all been told by me and my ex if they want to move with me, it's an option. They are older and can make that choice (although I am encouraging the eldest to stay with his dad as he is in the last year of school)
I like to think we have a happy medium.
G x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i left the family home last summer I left the girls with my ex because I was suffering with mental health issues and I felt it was better for them if I left. My girls come n stay with me in my new flat and now I am far less stressed and far happier we all get on so much better..for my family me leaving was the best decision. Xxx "
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