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Moose hunting
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was at a loose end, perhaps after being cancelled on, I'd log in and message anyone on here. First to reply got to come over.
The online equivalent. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't compromise my standards if I'm not attracted I wouldn't be able to perform so ill just leave the club if nothing takes my fancy."
Hmmm sounds like you need to take your neer goggles with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sod that, i always say go ugly early.
Don't go home disappointed!
The best sayings are the accurate ones "
I have never chatted anyone up in a bar or club, i am too shy.
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"I don't compromise my standards if I'm not attracted I wouldn't be able to perform so ill just leave the club if nothing takes my fancy.
Hmmm sounds like you need to take your neer goggles with you " I only ever have 1 or 2 beers when going a swingers club because I'm always driving so beer goggles don't aplly |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"sounds like you need to take your neer goggles with you
Sounds like you've had a few already Clem "
True enough. At the end of a night i liken myself to a lion of the Serengeti....picking off the weak and wounded..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sounds like you need to take your neer goggles with you
Sounds like you've had a few already Clem
True enough. At the end of a night i liken myself to a lion of the Serengeti....picking off the weak and wounded....."
I find as they are coming out of the loo, is a good time. Just don't ask "Did you have a good shit?" |
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"sounds like you need to take your neer goggles with you
Sounds like you've had a few already Clem
True enough. At the end of a night i liken myself to a lion of the Serengeti....picking off the weak and wounded....."
Yeah, but the Chinese would have me believe that I'm a tiger, and we pounce on any available prey after due stalking |
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"sounds like you need to take your neer goggles with you
Sounds like you've had a few already Clem
True enough. At the end of a night i liken myself to a lion of the Serengeti....picking off the weak and wounded.....
I find as they are coming out of the loo, is a good time. Just don't ask "Did you have a good shit?" "
We all know women don't do that! They exfoliate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys, how far are you prepared to lower your standards at the end of a quiet night at a club?"
To be fair Clem if it had been a really quiet night I guess I'd do you , but only if there was two paper bags available |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys, how far are you prepared to lower your standards at the end of a quiet night at a club?
To be fair Clem if it had been a really quiet night I guess I'd do you , but only if there was two paper bags available "
Ill take all i can get! I'm not ashamed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys, how far are you prepared to lower your standards at the end of a quiet night at a club?
To be fair Clem if it had been a really quiet night I guess I'd do you , but only if there was two paper bags available
Ill take all i can get! I'm not ashamed!"
My kind of swinger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never bother turning up until near the end once you get to my age the more desperate and grateful they are the easier it is for me. Some evenings I don't even bother with my teeth. "
Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys, how far are you prepared to lower your standards at the end of a quiet night at a club?
To be fair Clem if it had been a really quiet night I guess I'd do you , but only if there was two paper bags available
Ill take all i can get! I'm not ashamed!
My kind of swinger "
Yay that makes 2(3) of us on here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sounds like you need to take your neer goggles with you
Sounds like you've had a few already Clem
True enough. At the end of a night i liken myself to a lion of the Serengeti....picking off the weak and wounded.....
I find as they are coming out of the loo, is a good time. Just don't ask "Did you have a good shit?"
We all know women don't do that! They exfoliate "
Oh I'll try that one next time "Did you enjoy exfoliating?" Say no more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never bother turning up until near the end once you get to my age the more desperate and grateful they are the easier it is for me. Some evenings I don't even bother with my teeth. " |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"sounds like you need to take your neer goggles with you
Sounds like you've had a few already Clem
True enough. At the end of a night i liken myself to a lion of the Serengeti....picking off the weak and wounded.....
I find as they are coming out of the loo, is a good time. Just don't ask "Did you have a good shit?"
We all know women don't do that! They exfoliate
Oh I'll try that one next time "Did you enjoy exfoliating?" Say no more "
Is that where the saying "exfoliating through the eye of a needle" comes from? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sounds like you need to take your neer goggles with you
Sounds like you've had a few already Clem
True enough. At the end of a night i liken myself to a lion of the Serengeti....picking off the weak and wounded.....
I find as they are coming out of the loo, is a good time. Just don't ask "Did you have a good shit?"
We all know women don't do that! They exfoliate
Oh I'll try that one next time "Did you enjoy exfoliating?" Say no more
Is that where the saying "exfoliating through the eye of a needle" comes from?"
;-) Nods as good as wink to a blind moose |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is why I have never turned up to a club alone. Regardless of who's there that night I can always play with a buddy."
Me and my lucky bitch were at a club, Mrs tries chatting to a guy, no interest from him. Few hours later when he's had no luck elsewhere he comes back full of "Bbe your, like, so bootiful an at, right?", "fuck off mate, this is my moose"... Tsk tsk.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id hope I was never the last woman alone! With u fickle lot lol...
With that arse you'd be one of the first ones picked up "
God I wish I was that smooth - do you give lessons? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id hope I was never the last woman alone! With u fickle lot lol...
With that arse you'd be one of the first ones picked up "
Get ur beer goggles you've scored...lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't lower my standards, I'm rubbish at approaching any woman.
Set the trap and they will come to you
I think "
would you bait it with chocolate or jewelry?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't lower my standards, I'm rubbish at approaching any woman.
Set the trap and they will come to you
I think
would you bait it with chocolate or jewelry?? "
Vodka Redbull. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to do the opposite of moose hunting, I liked to call it "revenge of the worm" end of the night, when the charming and good looking guys had slowly got their "sure thing" d*unk or whatever, I would find "the model" the lady who no one thinks they have a chance with, and I would bowl up like I was hot or something and go on the charm offensive.
8 out of ten times I would go home alone, but those two out of ten times, when you are getting into a taxi, with the hottest woman there, it's just nice to see the faces of the moose hunters, and they deserved it for being so judgemental and calling any woman a moose, and using her in such a manner, shame on them, shame on them all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't lower my standards, I'm rubbish at approaching any woman.
Set the trap and they will come to you
I think
would you bait it with chocolate or jewelry?? "
Chocolate for the fatties, jewelry for the gold diggers, and booze for the piss 'eads! |
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"I don't lower my standards, I'm rubbish at approaching any woman.
Set the trap and they will come to you
I think
would you bait it with chocolate or jewelry??
Vodka Redbull."
The choice of many, but the downfall of lots. Try a glass of sweet sherry #gilf
*Grandmother |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't lower my standards, I'm rubbish at approaching any woman.
Set the trap and they will come to you
I think
would you bait it with chocolate or jewelry??
Chocolate for the fatties, jewelry for the gold diggers, and booze for the piss 'eads!"
And the added advantage that you will know what she is by what is missing, good idea that.
So we have a plan, and i have the box, stick and bit of string ready. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't lower my standards, I'm rubbish at approaching any woman.
Buy a Nissan bluebird, park outside club, pretend you're a taxi cab job done "
I don't drive. That could be a problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't lower my standards, I'm rubbish at approaching any woman.
Buy a Nissan bluebird, park outside club, pretend you're a taxi cab job done
I don't drive. That could be a problem. "
who says you have to drive it anywhere.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a self confessed munter I object to the tone OP
No need to hunt.. we'll find you and if you're lucky, you'll learn what REALLY matters "
I've never learned a thing! And I'm damn well not going to start now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't lower my standards, I'm rubbish at approaching any woman.
Set the trap and they will come to you
I think
Foxes are easily caught
"
foxes are wily |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is why I have never turned up to a club alone. Regardless of who's there that night I can always play with a buddy.
*changes name by deed poll to Buddy "
Change yer surname to Oliver. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now I know why I kept getting offered a bag of chips on the way home,from the kebab shop
Mmmmmm kebab. (Drool)
Badly packed..."
i love picking them apart so badly packed is ok with me
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Now I know why I kept getting offered a bag of chips on the way home,from the kebab shop
Mmmmmm kebab. (Drool)
Badly packed...
i love picking them apart so badly packed is ok with me
"
That just sounds wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now I know why I kept getting offered a bag of chips on the way home,from the kebab shop
Mmmmmm kebab. (Drool)
Badly packed...
i love picking them apart so badly packed is ok with me
That just sounds wrong "
of course it is, lol, but then so am I. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's when the moose knocks you back, you know you are in serious minter territory then "
Hell i could not even pull when i had MJ Bad tour tickets back in the early days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's when the moose knocks you back, you know you are in serious minter territory then
Hell i could not even pull when i had MJ Bad tour tickets back in the early days."
Oh Sh*t, i am the moose.
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