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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was diagnosed on 1st June 2015 with Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
It had taken many years to admit that something was wrong, however once I got to the stage of dreading everything and being so emotional the slightest thing could have me in tears....that included at work, I had to take time out. I wasn't able to work and tried to self manage it but that's just not possible. My family were very supportive, but that only goes part of the way. I started to decline even further as my confidence subsided. I even got notions of taking my own life because I was so sick of feeling the way I did. I remembered how I was when I was a serving soldier, so capable and confident. I just felt....now look at me.
Well things continued to go downhill until a former colleague refered me to the charity Combat Stress. I did a 6 week residential course with them last year and found the interaction with other veterans fantastic. That's one of the things I had missed since leaving the Army. Just to let you know, I served 22 years in the Infantry and have been out since May 2011. My trauma started way back in 1988 in Lockerbie. My regiment was among the first to deploy assisting with the clear up. Other stand out occasions were in Kosovo in the theme of ethnic cleansing.
What I would like to say to people is this......no matter how low life takes you, there is always hope, never give up. Things can change if you get the right help and want it enough. I am now a self employed Personal Trainer and have a motto, "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you".
If there is anyone out in FAB land who is going through anything similar, feel free to PM me if you want to chat.....100% discretion.
Ronnie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've got complex PTSD that leaves my brain in a constant fog, and i've no decent capacity to remember personal things, life events, or terminologies for some reason.
I want to go get it sorted but don't like it when my bad memories come back so want to stay in the fog, if that makes sense?
Not sure what to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have it relatively mildly... I used to have a lot of quite bad nightmares & flashbacks which led to panic attacks. It's not as bad now & I've learned how to avoid triggers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've got complex PTSD that leaves my brain in a constant fog, and i've no decent capacity to remember personal things, life events, or terminologies for some reason.
I want to go get it sorted but don't like it when my bad memories come back so want to stay in the fog, if that makes sense?
Not sure what to do."
I've replied to you in PM  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A great success story, and I hope you feel positive for the remainder of your days. A very uplifting story "
It is a daily battle as it is for anyone with PTSD, you've probably heard of Churchill and his Black Dog.....well it's all about controlling the dog rather than it controlling you.
Thanks for your positive comment |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have it relatively mildly... I used to have a lot of quite bad nightmares & flashbacks which led to panic attacks. It's not as bad now & I've learned how to avoid triggers."
I have honestly found that the more you can speak about the things that upset you, the more you are able to deal with it.....little by little.
Chin up and keep on keeping on |
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"I was diagnosed on 1st June 2015 with Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
It had taken many years to admit that something was wrong, however once I got to the stage of dreading everything and being so emotional the slightest thing could have me in tears....that included at work, I had to take time out. I wasn't able to work and tried to self manage it but that's just not possible. My family were very supportive, but that only goes part of the way. I started to decline even further as my confidence subsided. I even got notions of taking my own life because I was so sick of feeling the way I did. I remembered how I was when I was a serving soldier, so capable and confident. I just felt....now look at me.
Well things continued to go downhill until a former colleague refered me to the charity Combat Stress. I did a 6 week residential course with them last year and found the interaction with other veterans fantastic. That's one of the things I had missed since leaving the Army. Just to let you know, I served 22 years in the Infantry and have been out since May 2011. My trauma started way back in 1988 in Lockerbie. My regiment was among the first to deploy assisting with the clear up. Other stand out occasions were in Kosovo in the theme of ethnic cleansing.
What I would like to say to people is this......no matter how low life takes you, there is always hope, never give up. Things can change if you get the right help and want it enough. I am now a self employed Personal Trainer and have a motto, "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you".
"
Hear hear!! I welcome the people who challenge me too, and I hope I never stop growing and becoming more whole. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I left the army ( also Infantry ) I had some issues. Went to my GP who put my on Sertraline for 6 months I also had CBT. I'm as right as rain now. I got told I had to retrain my brain. Strange though because when I served nothing I did or saw bothered me...once I was out anxiety took over. Thankfully I'm 100% ok now.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I left the army ( also Infantry ) I had some issues. Went to my GP who put my on Sertraline for 6 months I also had CBT. I'm as right as rain now. I got told I had to retrain my brain. Strange though because when I served nothing I did or saw bothered me...once I was out anxiety took over. Thankfully I'm 100% ok now. "
Oh yes, that sounds very familiar. I'm on Sertraline as well. Things only came to a head after I got out because there is no mutual support anymore.
Glad you're doing good now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I left the army ( also Infantry ) I had some issues. Went to my GP who put my on Sertraline for 6 months I also had CBT. I'm as right as rain now. I got told I had to retrain my brain. Strange though because when I served nothing I did or saw bothered me...once I was out anxiety took over. Thankfully I'm 100% ok now.
Oh yes, that sounds very familiar. I'm on Sertraline as well. Things only came to a head after I got out because there is no mutual support anymore.
Glad you're doing good now "
I was on 150 mg. First 50 then 100 then finally 150. CBT was great. It got my mind thinking in a rational manner. Rather than it running wild. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Drew was in the infantry too and suffers with PTSD.
He seems to be on the better side of things at the minute but we understand the struggles you have been through. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Drew was in the infantry too and suffers with PTSD.
He seems to be on the better side of things at the minute but we understand the struggles you have been through. "
Nearly always the Infantry. They train you to kill but not how to live with what you do or see. Its a crying shame. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Drew was in the infantry too and suffers with PTSD.
He seems to be on the better side of things at the minute but we understand the struggles you have been through.
Nearly always the Infantry. They train you to kill but not how to live with what you do or see. Its a crying shame."
Exactly, they spend so much time, money and effort for us to do the ultimate without thought, but they only pay lip service to putting us back into civvie street. If only there was a 'Default Button' that could be pressed to put us back to how regular people think. I still walk around and drive around as if I'm on patrol.....looking up for snipers, always thinking anti-ambush when driving, doing my 5 & 20 meter checks. |
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By *andy57TV/TS
over a year ago
york |
Tried to pm you but you have tv's blocked you are very lucky to find help back in the70s &early 80s there was no help 4 tours in Ireland I suffered and know lots of old comrades who did too but it was not talked about like these days glad you are sorted out now |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
Well done OP for getting help and being so open about your issues, I'm sure that must help.
I have ptsd to after witnessing just one thing so I can't begin to comprehend how you must feel x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honest and refreshing. Glad you found the help you needed, just a shame that it doesn't come as standard for ex-military.
I know so many that just don't cope x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well done OP for getting help and being so open about your issues, I'm sure that must help.
I have ptsd to after witnessing just one thing so I can't begin to comprehend how you must feel x"
Thank you....keep your chin up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Honest and refreshing. Glad you found the help you needed, just a shame that it doesn't come as standard for ex-military.
I know so many that just don't cope x"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tried to pm you but you have tv's blocked you are very lucky to find help back in the70s &early 80s there was no help 4 tours in Ireland I suffered and know lots of old comrades who did too but it was not talked about like these days glad you are sorted out now "
Thank you |
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I am one of the lucky ones; I have also seen and done some of the things others have experienced , but for some reason, managed to deal with it;
Though I recognise that I have been changed by my experiences, and they colour the way I think of things, and of people .
One of the issues that is a huge failing is that the Army ( quite rightly) spends a lot of time training soldiers ( you could say brainwashing, but it's not that simple) to do things that are unnatural , or to develop parts of their personalities in ways that a civilian is not required to;
The failing is that we then do not " de-train" them, to return to society , and start to deal with the " demons"; which surface sometime later. Proper " re-adjustment" on leaving, with follow up care is essential to catch these problems early. The Government won't invest in it.
To those like the OP, and others who suffer ; well done( sorry to sound patronizing) but in a strange way, you are the lucky ones; you recognise your problems, and are developing coping strategies; there are thousands of poor fuckers out there who are in shit street because they don't know what's wrong with them, and aren't getting the help they need.
It's something we must not let everyone brush under the carpet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am one of the lucky ones; I have also seen and done some of the things others have experienced , but for some reason, managed to deal with it;
Though I recognise that I have been changed by my experiences, and they colour the way I think of things, and of people .
One of the issues that is a huge failing is that the Army ( quite rightly) spends a lot of time training soldiers ( you could say brainwashing, but it's not that simple) to do things that are unnatural , or to develop parts of their personalities in ways that a civilian is not required to;
The failing is that we then do not " de-train" them, to return to society , and start to deal with the " demons"; which surface sometime later. Proper " re-adjustment" on leaving, with follow up care is essential to catch these problems early. The Government won't invest in it.
To those like the OP, and others who suffer ; well done( sorry to sound patronizing) but in a strange way, you are the lucky ones; you recognise your problems, and are developing coping strategies; there are thousands of poor fuckers out there who are in shit street because they don't know what's wrong with them, and aren't getting the help they need.
It's something we must not let everyone brush under the carpet."
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Thank you for posting this OP x
My brother had some counselling after coming back from Iraq but it wasn't great. He lost a lot of his regiment & we thank our lucky stars his tank broke down or we'd have lost him too.
I have a very dear friend currently sectioned (3rd time in 5 months) due to PTSD following an emergency c-section in December that went horribly wrong. Our Mental Health Services have admitted they can't help her anymore & have called in the Army services to assist. In the meantime she tried to jump off a railway bridge resulting in latest section.
My eldest is nearly 15 & wants to join the Army (Scots or Grenadier Guards) - we're a big forces family. A lot of my friends are horrified but he's had his heart set for years and Army cadets hasn't dampened the fire.
Keep going with your recovery & huge hugs xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Drew was in the infantry too and suffers with PTSD.
He seems to be on the better side of things at the minute but we understand the struggles you have been through.
Nearly always the Infantry. They train you to kill but not how to live with what you do or see. Its a crying shame.
Exactly, they spend so much time, money and effort for us to do the ultimate without thought, but they only pay lip service to putting us back into civvie street. If only there was a 'Default Button' that could be pressed to put us back to how regular people think. I still walk around and drive around as if I'm on patrol.....looking up for snipers, always thinking anti-ambush when driving, doing my 5 & 20 meter checks. "
Absolutely!! Drew had no help when he got out. He was out within a few months of returning from Iraq. More should be done to support our troops return to civvi street, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Drew was in the infantry too and suffers with PTSD.
He seems to be on the better side of things at the minute but we understand the struggles you have been through.
Nearly always the Infantry. They train you to kill but not how to live with what you do or see. Its a crying shame.
Exactly, they spend so much time, money and effort for us to do the ultimate without thought, but they only pay lip service to putting us back into civvie street. If only there was a 'Default Button' that could be pressed to put us back to how regular people think. I still walk around and drive around as if I'm on patrol.....looking up for snipers, always thinking anti-ambush when driving, doing my 5 & 20 meter checks.
Absolutely!! Drew had no help when he got out. He was out within a few months of returning from Iraq. More should be done to support our troops return to civvi street, "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Combat stress help so many people but dont have the capacity to help everyone. Its a shame there's not more support.
Glad you're doing well "
I know, they are great people.
Help for Heroes has actually donated a lot of money to Combat Stress and they have done a lot of good with that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Great thread, nice story, and thanks for sharing!"
Thank you, and you're welcome. I just want to make people more aware of it and try to minimise the stigma attached to mental health. Everyone on this thread has been amazing and are a massive credit to our FAB community. |
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