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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have any of you ever settled for a relationship with someone who was nice or on paper looked to be a good match and then later fallen for them.
I am surrounded by people who seem to settle for someone rather than be alone. Maybe it's an age thing. Maybe it's a confidence thing.
I want it all not just the best compromise I can fine at the time. |
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"Have any of you ever settled for a relationship with someone who was nice or on paper looked to be a good match and then later fallen for them.
I am surrounded by people who seem to settle for someone rather than be alone. Maybe it's an age thing. Maybe it's a confidence thing.
I want it all not just the best compromise I can fine at the time."
No, I can't do it - never could, never will. I want all the bells AND all the whistles!  |
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I quoted this before but it bears repeating:
"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.
Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.
Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."
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My best friend through secondary school was a 'must have a man, any man, as long as he's mine' kind of person.
Caught up with her on Facebook last year. She's still the same. Only this time she got pregnant and married him. 4 kids later and every day her status is a whinge about him.
But she 'doesn't understand how I can be happy being single'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't want to settle or be in a relationship. I have always been single as I prefer my own company and as well I am too busy with bodybuilding, single life is the best  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:
"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.
Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.
Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."
"
Exactly xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My best friend through secondary school was a 'must have a man, any man, as long as he's mine' kind of person.
Caught up with her on Facebook last year. She's still the same. Only this time she got pregnant and married him. 4 kids later and every day her status is a whinge about him.
But she 'doesn't understand how I can be happy being single'."
And so many people feel the same. I'd be lying if I didn't say I had stayed in relationships longer than I should have but I have always started out adoring them.
Yes I get lonely at times and miss having a man but now it is about me. I am currently seeing someone but the distance is a killer. It's been 2 months but it shouldn't be this hard. So a quick chat with him and see if there is any way we can resolve it. If not then I'll be single again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:
"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.
Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.
Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."
Exactly xxx"
Indeed exactly this . Been single 14 years and very ready for this to happen but will never settle ever ever again , life's far to important to not reach for the stars |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have any of you ever settled for a relationship with someone who was nice or on paper looked to be a good match and then later fallen for them.
I am surrounded by people who seem to settle for someone rather than be alone. Maybe it's an age thing. Maybe it's a confidence thing.
I want it all not just the best compromise I can fine at the time."
How do you know they settled though? Have they told you?
Some people just don't like being alone and can't handle it.
I settled for my first husband. That marriage lasted 4 months. He was a very nice guy. Which made it harder leaving. I remember walking up the aisle thinking "if this is wrong, I can always get divorced".
Then I got married again (and thought walking up the aisle - omg I can't believe I'm about to marry him!!!). 10 years now. He's amazing. I got it right this time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
How do you know they settled though? Have they told you?
Some people just don't like being alone and can't handle it."
One of my best friends is always nagging her partner to change as he isn't her type. Poor sod would move heaven and earth for her and she barely likes him (and it was always like that right from the start.) Another is constantly cheating because her and her partner are not sexually compatible (and she knew this right from the start). Fine if there is substance to the relationship but she wanted him as he would be a good dad.
And a third who the longest in her life she has been single is 7 weeks. 7 weeks!!!!! Has to be with anyone x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the other way round, I settled twice for guys because I was desperate to have someone, now I'd rather be single than settle for anyone just so I don't grow old in my own |
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"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:
"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.
Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.
Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."
"
Totally agree.
I would never just settle for someone and have never need to be in a relationship.
Though I'm happy to say I couldn't ask for a better husband than Cal. He's not perfect but he's perfect for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
How do you know they settled though? Have they told you?
Some people just don't like being alone and can't handle it.
One of my best friends is always nagging her partner to change as he isn't her type. Poor sod would move heaven and earth for her and she barely likes him (and it was always like that right from the start.) Another is constantly cheating because her and her partner are not sexually compatible (and she knew this right from the start). Fine if there is substance to the relationship but she wanted him as he would be a good dad.
And a third who the longest in her life she has been single is 7 weeks. 7 weeks!!!!! Has to be with anyone x
"
Insecurity is a b*tch.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some people have ridiculous standards and that if they chose to lower them, or "settle", they would find contentment with a partner who is perfect.
I would compromise on certain things when it comes to dating, but I wouldn't settle for bad behaviour/attitudes. |
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I vowed when young to never settle for a poor match and it's been a good rule. I've seen it with others and I despair.
Plenty of great single people on Fab, we don't generally - I believe, rightly or wrongly - dislike being single too much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:
"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.
Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.
Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."
"
I agree, however, the "only have eyes for you and being distracted by somebody else" is a bit hard as a swinging couple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it came to it I would settle rather than be lonely, loneliness is a dreadful thing."
You can be surrounded by people and be lonely though.
Nothing lonelier than being with someone and still being lonely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:
"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.
Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.
Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."
I agree, however, the "only have eyes for you and being distracted by somebody else" is a bit hard as a swinging couple "
And to those with children who they put first x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. A friend who had settled for a nice but dull girl is now devastated that he has cheated on her. He is guilt ridden but doesn't want to hurt her by ending it. I told him I can't play agony auntie any more. |
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"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. A friend who had settled for a nice but dull girl is now devastated that he has cheated on her. He is guilt ridden but doesn't want to hurt her by ending it. I told him I can't play agony auntie any more."
He's devastated or she's devastated? I think he is only looking out for one person...himself. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
i am settled, with myself. i love my lifestyle i have no plans to change it
only when i was younger did i stay too long in a relationship that was unhealthy. it taught me not to do that again..i learn by my own mistakes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think I could settle, even if I wanted to, unless I'm with a bloke who can challenge me I'd walk all over him and lose interest in the relationship very quickly.
A few friends have settled but it's always ended disastrously. |
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"I quoted this before but it bears repeating:
"Fall in love with someone who will take care of your heart and keep it safe from harm. Someone who opens up their soul and doesn’t keep any secrets from you. Someone who brings you happiness and makes you laugh.
Fall in love with someone who enjoys spending time with you, even if it’s just doing chores. Someone who loves you for who you are and not for what you could be. Someone who treats you like the most important person in the world.
Fall in love with someone who only has eyes for you, who choses not to be distracted by anyone else. Someone who is emotionally whole. Someone who has learned that the way of love is to give unconditionally without holding anything back."
"
thats what ive got, may not be a traditional relationship but its perfect for us |
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i think a lot of people do. sometimes people are frightened of being on there own, frightened of being a single parent, its not always easy for some people if they havnt got a suportive family or friends. Feeling hurt after someone leaves you for someone else so you are extra grateful for the company of the next person who shows up.
my sister had a boyfriend when she was young who used to buy her things all the time only she dumped him only now she is in her 60s she regrets it saying how nice he was because she cant get anyone else, but it wouldnt have worked anyway. |
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