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Have you ever..........
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hahaha, yeah on a social in the pub, I damn near cleared the joint, thank god the couple we were with saw the funny side and it was after we had been for an indian meal.
we are still friends too, hahahaha
peds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
We were meeting with a couple for the first time and spent a few hours with them,on the way home Rob let rip with a huge fart and told me he had held it in all night to be polite..........cab driver was'nt too impressed though 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Farted on a meet? Not a little un but a huge rattler? Not been in that position my self but i would want the earth to swallow me. Fess up, you know you want to  "
hmmmm now i think , for u to post this , it has happened to u... c'mon freddie fess up  |
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"Farted on a meet? Not a little un but a huge rattler? Not been in that position my self but i would want the earth to swallow me. Fess up, you know you want to
hmmmm now i think , for u to post this , it has happened to u... c'mon freddie fess up "
Nope but bit my lip hard and squeezed to stop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hahaha, yeah on a social in the pub, I damn near cleared the joint, thank god the couple we were with saw the funny side and it was after we had been for an indian meal.
we are still friends too, hahahaha
peds"
farting after an Indian meal....yikes....bet it was a bad one....hope you never followed thru hun
my advice anyway, get the cork out of the winebottle and keep it in ya pocket it may come in handy. mind you, imagine firing that out, may shoot someone dead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A guy we invited over farted while he was sitting on our white sofa naked.... and followed through!! Dirty bastard!! 
 I love that story!"
gross.....just wondering who had to clean it off....yuck....hope he hadnt been eating nuts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A guy we invited over farted while he was sitting on our white sofa naked.... and followed through!! Dirty bastard!! "
We had heard you can be quite intimidating...............so guess you simply scared the shit out of him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A guy we invited over farted while he was sitting on our white sofa naked.... and followed through!! Dirty bastard!!
We had heard you can be quite intimidating...............so guess you simply scared the shit out of him "
i guess that they are the sort of couple who have to carry imodium with their condoms |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A guy we invited over farted while he was sitting on our white sofa naked.... and followed through!! Dirty bastard!!
I love that story!
gross.....just wondering who had to clean it off....yuck....hope he hadnt been eating nuts"
He had actually. Siren says it's the worst thing she's ever had to do.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hahaha, yeah on a social in the pub, I damn near cleared the joint, thank god the couple we were with saw the funny side and it was after we had been for an indian meal.
we are still friends too, hahahaha
peds
farting after an Indian meal....yikes....bet it was a bad one....hope you never followed thru hun
my advice anyway, get the cork out of the winebottle and keep it in ya pocket it may come in handy. mind you, imagine firing that out, may shoot someone dead"
lol, no follow through, dont think I have ever followed through, have I just tempted fate??
time will tell, deffo think dont go for indian food on a meet as it always has the same effect on me.
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A guy we invited over farted while he was sitting on our white sofa naked.... and followed through!! Dirty bastard!!
I love that story!
gross.....just wondering who had to clean it off....yuck....hope he hadnt been eating nuts
He had actually. Siren says it's the worst thing she's ever had to do. "
oh gross wishy, siren must have felt she was exfoliating the sofa when cleaning it....yucky monster time |
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By *ragon1Woman
over a year ago
Chesterfield |
"A guy we invited over farted while he was sitting on our white sofa naked.... and followed through!! Dirty bastard!! "
OMFG!!! that is one of the most gross stories I have ever heard on here!!
I hope the guy in question was MORTIFIED!!
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"Farted on a meet? Not a little un but a huge rattler? Not been in that position my self but i would want the earth to swallow me. Fess up, you know you want to "
fart ...i actually had one lose control of her bowels a long time ago (no one on this site incidentally)....when cummin ...its a long story !! i tried to cover it up for her as she had put her foot in it ,but the smell got worse .and soon the partner i had gone with ..raised her head from the task at hand and we stared at each other. her nose twitched ....,brow furrowed quizically ..and i shook me head slightly and looked down ...the gig was up and the rabbit out the hat ...she was a gusher too and it was a nightmare scenario !!!
i tried to say it was a tantric technique i had used made it happen to spare her embarrassment and took the blame...but the fem i went with ripped the piss out of me all the way home saying she had seen it all now ..
happy days ....i think ...!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Farted on a meet? Not a little un but a huge rattler? Not been in that position my self but i would want the earth to swallow me. Fess up, you know you want to "
No but did worse in the Dark Room in a club in Newport my mobile phone rang and that was more embarrassing than any fart
mike |
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"Farted on a meet? Not a little un but a huge rattler? Not been in that position my self but i would want the earth to swallow me. Fess up, you know you want to
No but did worse in the Dark Room in a club in Newport my mobile phone rang and that was more embarrassing than any fart
mike"
And WHERE was this mobile phone secreted??? One hates to guess here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind "
now front trumpets are a different story lol |
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"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol "
hmmm interesting does the latex have like a diaphragm effect and get sucked in as you walk ....i bet a effective seal could be made ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol "
LMAO
I used to go to school with a girl who could do them any time any place.......caused much jollity in boring lessons
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
hmmm interesting does the latex have like a diaphragm effect and get sucked in as you walk ....i bet a effective seal could be made ?"
crotchless latex is definitely the way forward lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
LMAO
I used to go to school with a girl who could do them any time any place.......caused much jollity in boring lessons
"
god we use to do that at boarding school. A whole dorm of girls rolling round legs splayed trying to do the best ones!...happy days |
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"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
hmmm interesting does the latex have like a diaphragm effect and get sucked in as you walk ....i bet a effective seal could be made ?
crotchless latex is definitely the way forward lol"
I have to say i do like crotchless latex, its sooooooooo.
Hang on a min wouldn't the air rattle the rubber like a whistle?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
LMAO
I used to go to school with a girl who could do them any time any place.......caused much jollity in boring lessons
god we use to do that at boarding school. A whole dorm of girls rolling round legs splayed trying to do the best ones!...happy days"
Her best ones were when she was on all fours on the floor.........makes me laugh thinking about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Farted on a meet? Not a little un but a huge rattler? Not been in that position my self but i would want the earth to swallow me. Fess up, you know you want to
fart ...i actually had one lose control of her bowels a long time ago (no one on this site incidentally)....when cummin ...its a long story !! i tried to cover it up for her as she had put her foot in it ,but the smell got worse .and soon the partner i had gone with ..raised her head from the task at hand and we stared at each other. her nose twitched ....,brow furrowed quizically ..and i shook me head slightly and looked down ...the gig was up and the rabbit out the hat ...she was a gusher too and it was a nightmare scenario !!!
i tried to say it was a tantric technique i had used made it happen to spare her embarrassment and took the blame...but the fem i went with ripped the piss out of me all the way home saying she had seen it all now ..
happy days ....i think ...!! "
so the moral of the story is.....get an enima before going with pd, coz instead of the earth moving you will have a bowel movement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
LMAO
I used to go to school with a girl who could do them any time any place.......caused much jollity in boring lessons
god we use to do that at boarding school. A whole dorm of girls rolling round legs splayed trying to do the best ones!...happy days"
boarding school????? jolly hockey sticks and all that i presume |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
hmmm interesting does the latex have like a diaphragm effect and get sucked in as you walk ....i bet a effective seal could be made ?
crotchless latex is definitely the way forward lol
I have to say i do like crotchless latex, its sooooooooo.
Hang on a min wouldn't the air rattle the rubber like a whistle?? "
not when it is stuck like a second skin lol. |
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"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
LMAO
I used to go to school with a girl who could do them any time any place.......caused much jollity in boring lessons
god we use to do that at boarding school. A whole dorm of girls rolling round legs splayed trying to do the best ones!...happy days"
yeah you public school girls are real...errrr entertainment ....
legs together Gals .!!!!!!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
LMAO
I used to go to school with a girl who could do them any time any place.......caused much jollity in boring lessons
god we use to do that at boarding school. A whole dorm of girls rolling round legs splayed trying to do the best ones!...happy days
boarding school????? jolly hockey sticks and all that i presume"
totally...lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
LMAO
I used to go to school with a girl who could do them any time any place.......caused much jollity in boring lessons
god we use to do that at boarding school. A whole dorm of girls rolling round legs splayed trying to do the best ones!...happy days
yeah you public school girls are real...errrr entertainment ....
legs together Gals .!!!!!!
"
first time you have said that! lmao |
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"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
LMAO
I used to go to school with a girl who could do them any time any place.......caused much jollity in boring lessons
god we use to do that at boarding school. A whole dorm of girls rolling round legs splayed trying to do the best ones!...happy days
boarding school????? jolly hockey sticks and all that i presume
totally...lol"
those boarding school gals used to come to our local stables for riding lessons
they fucking got em as well .....pmsl
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
LMAO
I used to go to school with a girl who could do them any time any place.......caused much jollity in boring lessons
god we use to do that at boarding school. A whole dorm of girls rolling round legs splayed trying to do the best ones!...happy days
boarding school????? jolly hockey sticks and all that i presume
totally...lol
those boarding school gals used to come to our local stables for riding lessons
they fucking got em as well .....pmsl
"
ahhhh the smell of leather, hay and rampant young grooms...brings the memories flooding back..tally ho |
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"one doesnt do such things...
I know far too dangerous if your well latexed up. Michelin man comes to mind
now front trumpets are a different story lol
LMAO
I used to go to school with a girl who could do them any time any place.......caused much jollity in boring lessons
god we use to do that at boarding school. A whole dorm of girls rolling round legs splayed trying to do the best ones!...happy days
boarding school????? jolly hockey sticks and all that i presume
totally...lol
those boarding school gals used to come to our local stables for riding lessons
they fucking got em as well .....pmsl
ahhhh the smell of leather, hay and rampant young grooms...brings the memories flooding back..tally ho "
i wasnt a groom just a oik sniper who knew the fem grooms and got to errrr be busy on summer days ...they didnt know much more about horses when they left ...they were wild .... |
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"Farted on a meet? Not a little un but a huge rattler? Not been in that position my self but i would want the earth to swallow me. Fess up, you know you want to
fart ...i actually had one lose control of her bowels a long time ago (no one on this site incidentally)....when cummin ...its a long story !! i tried to cover it up for her as she had put her foot in it ,but the smell got worse .and soon the partner i had gone with ..raised her head from the task at hand and we stared at each other. her nose twitched ....,brow furrowed quizically ..and i shook me head slightly and looked down ...the gig was up and the rabbit out the hat ...she was a gusher too and it was a nightmare scenario !!!
i tried to say it was a tantric technique i had used made it happen to spare her embarrassment and took the blame...but the fem i went with ripped the piss out of me all the way home saying she had seen it all now ..
happy days ....i think ...!!
so the moral of the story is.....get an enima before going with pd, coz instead of the earth moving you will have a bowel movement"
the earth always moves babe ....!!!
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"Imodium helps 
aaaawwww poor freddy ...got a few probs that way have we .... "
I was on about taking with you to them tantric gals. Slip em a bit first and it will bung em up. Tell them its an aphrodisiac |
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"Imodium helps
aaaawwww poor freddy ...got a few probs that way have we ....
I was on about taking with you to them tantric gals. Slip em a bit first and it will bung em up. Tell them its an aphrodisiac "
freddy the last thing they need is aphrodisiacs and they get slipped enough thanks .,...lmfao
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being posh I only pass wind into my handkerchief.
bet ya put it up to your nose straight after and pretend to sneeze in it....checking out the smell"
LMAO rumbled!!!  |
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"Imodium helps
aaaawwww poor freddy ...got a few probs that way have we ....
I was on about taking with you to them tantric gals. Slip em a bit first and it will bung em up. Tell them its an aphrodisiac
freddy the last thing they need is aphrodisiacs and they get slipped enough thanks .,...lmfao
"
No no no no no imodium stops them dropping nuggets if they cough. Save your sofa like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being posh I only pass wind into my handkerchief.
bet ya put it up to your nose straight after and pretend to sneeze in it....checking out the smell
LMAO rumbled!!! "
but your own are supposed to smell devine...not that me being a lady would do botty burps at all.....now the lady bit will open up a lot of threads for the doris's ready to sling rocks |
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"Being posh I only pass wind into my handkerchief.
bet ya put it up to your nose straight after and pretend to sneeze in it....checking out the smell
LMAO rumbled!!!
but your own are supposed to smell devine...not that me being a lady would do botty burps at all.....now the lady bit will open up a lot of threads for the doris's ready to sling rocks"
Are they???? |
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"Imodium helps
aaaawwww poor freddy ...got a few probs that way have we ....
I was on about taking with you to them tantric gals. Slip em a bit first and it will bung em up. Tell them its an aphrodisiac
freddy the last thing they need is aphrodisiacs and they get slipped enough thanks .,...lmfao
No no no no no imodium stops them dropping nuggets if they cough. Save your sofa like."
i find your interest in the subject .....errr unhealthy...you dirty dirty boy ...stop messing about with it .....yuk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being posh I only pass wind into my handkerchief.
bet ya put it up to your nose straight after and pretend to sneeze in it....checking out the smell
LMAO rumbled!!!
but your own are supposed to smell devine...not that me being a lady would do botty burps at all.....now the lady bit will open up a lot of threads for the doris's ready to sling rocks
Are they????"
are they wot...smell devine...i said supposed to....or
doris's ready to throw rocks...dunno...
am bored off to directing room to flash me tits at a russian shott putter if am lucky |
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"Being posh I only pass wind into my handkerchief.
bet ya put it up to your nose straight after and pretend to sneeze in it....checking out the smell
LMAO rumbled!!!
but your own are supposed to smell devine...not that me being a lady would do botty burps at all.....now the lady bit will open up a lot of threads for the doris's ready to sling rocks"
look we know you love it ...but there is a truce on ...now be nice we aint gonna chuck nothing you minx !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Farted on a meet? Not a little un but a huge rattler? Not been in that position my self but i would want the earth to swallow me. Fess up, you know you want to "
trust u 2 bring this subject up lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being posh I only pass wind into my handkerchief.
bet ya put it up to your nose straight after and pretend to sneeze in it....checking out the smell
LMAO rumbled!!!
but your own are supposed to smell devine...not that me being a lady would do botty burps at all.....now the lady bit will open up a lot of threads for the doris's ready to sling rocks
look we know you love it ...but there is a truce on ...now be nice we aint gonna chuck nothing you minx !!!"
came off chat room....no russian shott putters to see....god i wanted to see abit of hair....forgotten what it looks like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If, IF i thought one were coming on bad.. I'd make excuses and leave the room lol..
Old fashioned.. "
You old fashioned....gosh you will tell me your shy next |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did once on holiday in greece, so not really a meet but similar.
Had met this gorgeous sish girl there but we hadn't even kissed by that stage. We were sat on the pavement and it was just the position I was in that seemed to give me no warning or control at the time and I let rip.
Fortunately she was cool about it and I still ended up sleeping with her all holiday so a happy ending |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ermmmmmm
did do this at chams ,
in a private room thank god and
the fella i was with was lovely about
it, i was mortified...
welllll he shouldnt have been doing what he was doing. it was his fault. lmao
but fanny farts are incontrollable ya know. |
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