FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What drove you to cheat?
What drove you to cheat?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
For those that cheat - there must have been a first time that ignited the desire to? Was it because you realised your life partner wasn't who you thought? You just like to have your cake and eat it?
I've always wondered if you'd forgive your other half if you found they'd cheated on you as well?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i do think this can be done once and never again - people can be truly sorry - for others well they just cant help themselves - lies just pour forth without them even realising they are doing so - and of course turn it round so they are doing the right thing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For those that cheat - there must have been a first time that ignited the desire to? Was it because you realised your life partner wasn't who you thought? You just like to have your cake and eat it?
I've always wondered if you'd forgive your other half if you found they'd cheated on you as well?
"
For me, the game was going on too long, I kept passing go and I was getting bored. So I looked around for options. Monogamy..I mean monopoly is tedious. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For me personally if someone cheats in a relationship then the trust and respect I once had for that person is gone forever unfortunately.
Once it's gone it's gone as far as I'm concerned and can never get that back again in my personal experience. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For me personally if someone cheats in a relationship then the trust and respect I once had for that person is gone forever unfortunately.
Once it's gone it's gone as far as I'm concerned and can never get that back again in my personal experience. "
I learnt that the hard way after trying to repair. I wouldn't again. Trust is everything |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This 
Although mine knows I'm on here "
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This
Although mine knows I'm on here
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all "
Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We couldn't forgive if either of us cheat. Anyway why would we even need to cheat?... Surely having the trust to do this together is better than any affair. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
"I nicked a hotel off my Auntie when I last had a game of Monopoly, I think that classifies me as a fully fledged cheat innit sis  "
In that case I'm never playing chase the lady with you ever! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This
Although mine knows I'm on here
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all
Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot "
It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Being cheated on for years because he didn't find me attractive anymore I kept trying to fix it but he continued so I stopped caring and joined fab about this time last year with my old profile.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This
Although mine knows I'm on here
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all
Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot
It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing "
Good for you everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have a Mrs who has zero interest in any type of sex and hasn't for some time. I could go on forever about the complete in and outs of it all but this isn't Dear Deidre |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There wasn't something that went 'ping' in my head, I started going out all the time and drinking really heavily that led me to being a different person that I am today, if I hadn't of had those two things combined I'm not sure I would have done what I did back then but having said that, I wasn't happy back then, we wasn't in love we were just living together that happened to be bound by marriage.
I didn't fancy him anymore, I didn't feel a sexual desire towards him and I just didn't want him to touch me, all those things combined were the catalyst for my downward spiral.
We did come back from it but five years later he did almost the mirror image of what I did, the only thing he did differently was being open about everything and because I did what I did, I let him carry on.
That said, 18 months later, divorce is pending and I couldn't be happier with ads xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This
Although mine knows I'm on here
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all
Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot
It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing "
Good for you hope things keep going your why |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think that is why many couples want to swing cos it is another way tos eee multi parters instead of going behind their back and to keep the parter in check. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Wasn't happy in my marriage, didn't love him, we led separate lives. I slept with an old flame twice which led me to realise i didnt want to live like this any more, so told my ex husband I was leaving.
This was three years ago, we had an amicable divorce, we've both moved on, and are both much happier in our present relationships  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For those that cheat - there must have been a first time that ignited the desire to? Was it because you realised your life partner wasn't who you thought? You just like to have your cake and eat it?
I've always wondered if you'd forgive your other half if you found they'd cheated on you as well?
"
First time I cheated was with an ex when we attempted a monogamous relationship. Why? Because I was bored, bored, bored shitless. The sex was about as exciting as trainspotting blindfolded.
I never attempted a monogamous relationship again and never had the same problem again... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Curses of my jobs. Long hours in the kitchen and countless hours on the doors. So she was home alone and needed that attention physically and I was never there. Was on my days off but that was it. 10am in the morning until 1am-5am in the morning. When I got home she was waking up to go to work.
I can't hate her for what she did and as I say I was hardly home. But couldn't live with the fact I laid in the bed she had sex in with someone else a few hours previous. So I moved out and came back home.
I understand why women do it sometimes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I nicked a hotel off my Auntie when I last had a game of Monopoly, I think that classifies me as a fully fledged cheat innit sis "
You despicable bstard, go straight to jail, directly, do not pass go and do not collect two hundred quid.
Sit and think about what you did. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's something I have always wanted to ask my EX husband why he cheated on me. He done me a favour tho. ..I can honestly say I'm the happiest I have ever been. Every cloud n all that x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I nicked a hotel off my Auntie when I last had a game of Monopoly, I think that classifies me as a fully fledged cheat innit sis "
Well you stole my joke you cheating bastard! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Seems lots of different reasons for straying,i never have and i couldnt forgive if it was done to me.However its not up to me to judge and as long as they are upfront about it ,it gives people a choice.Miss. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This
Although mine knows I'm on here
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all
Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot
It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing
Good for you everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell "
Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
It was a dispute over who would be the banker. My friend would only ever play if they could be the banker and so after a while I got fed up and would add extra houses to my streets when they went to the loo. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the vanilla world most on this site are cheating.....my point is its best not to judge ppl if you dont wanna be judged yourself "
Surely cheating on a partner is going behind their back. What we do is together, in the same room and with each other too. I think there's a bit difference. If MrsJ went off this afternoon even to meet one of our friends off here without my knowledge I would consider that cheating. I know she wouldn't because she would much prefer if I was with her anyway. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i do think this can be done once and never again - people can be truly sorry - for others well they just cant help themselves - lies just pour forth without them even realising they are doing so - and of course turn it round so they are doing the right thing "
I did it once, due to neglect from the other half as I hadn't seen him in three months and spoke to him like once a week if that. So I got attention elsewhere and I took it; it was my fault entirely as I was selfish. Instantly regretted it though and I didn't even attempt to hide it. Guilt consumed me and I told the truth and held my hands up to it. Never done it again cos it's the worst feeling in the whole entire world. Couldn't live with myself.
It's due to that I don't understand people that do cheat and are okay with it. I couldn't handle the guilt and I don't know how they can go on like it's okay and blame others for it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *obka3Couple
over a year ago
bournemouth |
I cant say I wasnt tempted to in my first marriage but very glad I didnt as I can hold my head up in front of my kids which means a lot to me, wouldnt want to risk losing what we have now, even if K said she didnt want sex anymore I wouldnt cheat love is worth more than that . But wouldnt condemn those that do as lot of factors can be involved, easy to judge from the outside |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
First wife was in to the scene but ran off with a younger guy from a couple we met!
Second wife had a friend that became more over time and did the dirty.
I must be doing something badly wrong so I thought I'd try to find some fun and happiness using their method. Not right but there it is. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My ex husband lost all interest in me. If I even touched my foot against his watching tv, he visibly flinched and moved away from me. It wasn't easy but I slowly realised he may be suffering from depression.
He made some chances in his life, we both did, and he was much better towards me, but it was then that I realised I just wasn't happy in the relationship.
I went away with a work colleague and he made a move on me one night. I didn't do anything, but it made me realise quite how unhappy I was.
I desperately wanted my husband to cheat but he never did! I really didn't want to be the b*tch leaving him after quite a short marriage.
But I had to leave.
(Met my husband shortly after and we've been together for a very long time, and love him to bits!) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
One of my exes said he cheated as I was away with work too often (I'd travel within Europe weekly, staying away about 1/3 of a month in total). I don't believe the reason is I was away, I believe he cheated as he found someone more suited or more available to his sexual needs.
I also don't understand why he didn't just finish with me, the deceit was the problem - not the wanting someone else. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This
Although mine knows I'm on here
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all
Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot
It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing
Good for you everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell
Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive "
It's not that easy, if it was I would have gone a long time ago |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've always been a cheater because I've never found anyone who has made me truly happy. I suppose the irony is that now I'm single (of my own choice ) i am happy. Xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This
Although mine knows I'm on here
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all
Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot
It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing
Good for you everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell
Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive
It's not that easy, if it was I would have gone a long time ago "
I don't understand that at all. I think that makes me quite lucky though. I'm sorry you feel as trapped into doing what your doing x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This
Although mine knows I'm on here
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all
Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot
It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing
Good for you everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell
Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive
It's not that easy, if it was I would have gone a long time ago
I don't understand that at all. I think that makes me quite lucky though. I'm sorry you feel as trapped into doing what your doing x"
I do understand that feeling, it's why I stayed 20 years in a marriage I wasn't happy in, however when it came to it, getting out was far easier than I'd ever imagined, all the reasons - money, job, kids, somewhere to live etc that made it impossible, or so i'd thought, just worked out.
I just wish I'd done it years ago. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This
Although mine knows I'm on here
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all
Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot
It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing
Good for you everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell
Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive
It's not that easy, if it was I would have gone a long time ago
I don't understand that at all. I think that makes me quite lucky though. I'm sorry you feel as trapped into doing what your doing x"
Things will change until then ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's simple for me, he's told me he doesn't find me desirable or attractive anymore!
This
Although mine knows I'm on here
I decided it was none of his business tbh, he doesn't want me after all
Sad affair really but at least you and many others are seeking company. It's not nice being put on the scrap heap and knocks the confidence a hell of a lot
It's not nice and I have had so little confidence for so long tbh but thanks to a friend things are changing
Good for you everyone is entitled to some happiness. I'm still hunting for a "friend" to break my 11 mth dry spell
Why not just leave? I could never stay with someone who openly says they don't find me attractive
It's not that easy, if it was I would have gone a long time ago
I don't understand that at all. I think that makes me quite lucky though. I'm sorry you feel as trapped into doing what your doing x
I do understand that feeling, it's why I stayed 20 years in a marriage I wasn't happy in, however when it came to it, getting out was far easier than I'd ever imagined, all the reasons - money, job, kids, somewhere to live etc that made it impossible, or so i'd thought, just worked out.
I just wish I'd done it years ago. "
I know I will go, soon as I can |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
