FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > short simple film reviews part II.....

short simple film reviews part II.....

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The Revenant~~~crap actor gets chomped by teddy..gets cob on with good actor despite nice scenery..the end..save ten quid (on buying dvd)...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Room

Kidnapped woman has baby while locked in a 10ft by 10ft room. 5 years later they try to escape. Fantastic acting by both lead parts (particularly the little boy)

Box of tissues a necessity

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Dusk till dawn

Vampires and guns

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

300

Tactics and training beat brute force

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

6th sense

He's a fucking ghost you knobheads

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Avatar

Ecological cartoon

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Serpico

Good cop bad cops

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Apocalypse Now~~~some d*unk/stoned dudes and a chef take a ferry upriver to kill an enormous bald actor. Playboy bunnies dance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Nashville (1975)~~~loads of good and bad actors have a singsong, bellend nerd shoots one of em.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes man

Man says yes to everything

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Star Wars

Guy tries to bang his sister only to find out his dad is trying to kill them both. Basically a family incest marathon involving space, planets aliens and some Care Bears.

Or is it Jeremy Kyle????????

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

The man who fell to earth

Alien man falls to earth

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Taxi Driver~~psycho cabbie loses his shit BIG TIME..Wanks too much, can't get laid and as result of bad haircut, shoots everyone with gun he pinches off Dirty Harry. Tabasco sauce everywhere. Good lab work helps avoid audience puking. The End.

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By *obwithkiltMan over a year ago

Belton

Titanic

It sinks

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Apollo 13

Superstition comes true

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The Rules of the Game (1939)~~~toffs and plebs try shagging each other no end, some bunnies get shot to fuck..then man gets shot for borrowing coat..everyone goes inside for a nice warm.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The good the bad the ugly

Not a fab forum post

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The Conversation~~~saxophonist noses a lot, gets wrong end of stick..destroys own house looking for cockroach..plays sax. End.

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Witness

Someone sees something

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Avengers Assemble -

The Avengers assemble

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Daddy's home

Kids real dad comes home

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Bad Santa

Every kids nightmare

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Kramer vs. Kramer~~~Kramers get divorced..their kid makes some eggy toast.

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple over a year ago

Nr coleford

The Blair witch project

Woman gets map losses map all get lost end

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Hobbit: An unexpected Journey

I little man with hairy feet goes on a VERY LONG journey he didn't expect to go on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Escape to victory

Stallone can't play football, that's is all!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Batman vs superman

Director was on mdma when he made it

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By *AA123Couple over a year ago

Lichfield

Prometheus

Explorers look for God and find it is severely pissed off.

Explorer gets most stupid death award for not changing direction.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Man on fire

Don't fuck with denzel

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By *AA123Couple over a year ago

Lichfield

"Avatar

Ecological cartoon"

Pocahontas In Space

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By *AA123Couple over a year ago

Lichfield

Star Wars

Loner farmboy gets radicalized by hokey religion. Joins terrorist organization and destroys signficant value real estate owned by proactive organization attempting to keep order.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Room

Kidnapped woman has baby while locked in a 10ft by 10ft room. 5 years later they try to escape. Fantastic acting by both lead parts (particularly the little boy)

Box of tissues a necessity "

Have you read the book? It's very good! Need to watch the film!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Clueless..... the title says it all!!

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By *edMan over a year ago

cambridgeshire

Battle of Britain

If in doubt, bash a Kraut..

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By *its_n_piecesCouple over a year ago

star wars 7 .... see star wars 4

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

Die Hard

Bald man in dirty vest fights baddies. Kills them. Bald man has gun which holds 13 rounds but can fire 25 before reloading

Die Hard 2: Die Harder.

As for Die Hard but his vest is dirtier and he has more ammo.

Die Hard with a Vengeance.

As before but baddie is posh English bloke with bad German accent.

.....and so on.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre~~~

Some stupid cunts who have never seen a horror flick have day out in back of beyond. get hit on heed with hammer and chased with chainsaw..then made to eat cheese on toast with corpse and get made into lampshades..moral: dont be stupid cunts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/04/16 11:51:53]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Room

Kidnapped woman has baby while locked in a 10ft by 10ft room. 5 years later they try to escape. Fantastic acting by both lead parts (particularly the little boy)

Box of tissues a necessity

Have you read the book? It's very good! Need to watch the film!

No I haven't yet. I will though. The film made me cry so much! It is fantastic and definitely worth a watch xx

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By *owboy BebopMan over a year ago

Glasgow

"Star Wars

Loner farmboy gets radicalized by hokey religion. Joins terrorist organization and destroys signficant value real estate owned by proactive organization attempting to keep order.

"
brilliant ... Made me laugh ( & spill my coffee)

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By *r H and Good PetCouple over a year ago

Nottingham

Mission Impossible (1-x)

Man completes not so impossible missions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Goodfellas~~~

every fucker gets kiled, shot, stabbed, garotted, beat to fuck, shoeshined, fed to lions, chopped up, d up, blowjobbed in jail, fed horrible looking meat, hung, wife hides gun in knickers..joe pesci loses his shit. Sex pistols. end

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Harry Potter: noseless guy has an unhealthy obsession over a teenage boy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The dark knight: miserable billionaire terrorises mentally ill man

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By *AA123Couple over a year ago

Lichfield

"The dark knight: miserable billionaire terrorises mentally ill man "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fight club : I'm not supposed to talk about it

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

Top Gun;

Cocky fucker flies plane.

Shags woman

Accidentally kills his mate

Is upset about it for 30 seconds

Becomes cocky fucker again

Flies plane again .

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By *AA123Couple over a year ago

Lichfield

Cube

Escape route available right at the start of the film and no one notices. All die.

Philip Schofield not in it.

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

James Bond:

Dress bad actor in dinner jacket.

Give him silly little pistol

Shags women

Fights inc_edibly unrealistic baddies .

Make essentially the same film 24 times.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Top Gun;

Cocky fucker flies plane.

Shags woman

Accidentally kills his mate

Is upset about it for 30 seconds

Becomes cocky fucker again

Flies plane again ."

haha!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The shawshank _edemtion--overrated shit film stars overrated shit actor(freeman)

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By *ayd2pinkTV/TS over a year ago

TENTERDEN

"A Fault in our Stars"

Have a box of tissues handy.

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

Star Wars (pts. 1-9)

Overblown, special-effects driven space-opera with optional merchandising bonanza.

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Goodfellas

Men in sharp suits kill each other

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Kingsman

Chav in shell suit learns to kill posh people and save world

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By *AA123Couple over a year ago

Lichfield

American Psycho

Man in suit kills people.

Has nice business card.

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

Close encounters of the third kind:

Man gets delusional

Goes mad

Runs all over America

Hears wierd music

Puts overalls and walks into a brightly lit door.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Avengers Assembled

Men and Women in costumes save world from Alien invasion

Avengers Age of Ultron

Men and Women in costumes save world from Robots

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Jungle Book

Kid gets raised by animals

(Not to be confused with Jeremy Kyle show)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sin City A Dame To Kill For

Eva Green's awesome body

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Italian Job

They blow more than the doors off

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

"Dusk till dawn

Vampires and guns"

And Salma Hayek dancing near naked with a large snake and pouring a bottle of lager over herself.

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Airport

Plane crashes, everyone saved

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Airplane

Plane crashes, everyone laughs

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

"Sin City A Dame To Kill For

Eva Green's awesome body

You HAVE to see The Dreamers if you like her..

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

Transformers 2.

Crash, bang,crash, bang(WWHAAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?).

Crash, bang. Underwear model....Crash,bang.

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By *uvesmuffinCouple over a year ago

Barking

The Krays

total Bollox

the End

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By *uvesmuffinCouple over a year ago

Barking

Rise of the Footsoldier 2

Utter Bollox

The end

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

Casablanca.

Smoke.

A train station.

A poor bloke standing waiting in the rain with a stupid look on his face.

Freedom fighter!

Nazis!

Play it Sam..play it again.

More smoke.

A plane.

Start of a beautiful friendship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Alien found

Alien goes home

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Raging Bull~~~

Boxer beats everyone up including wife, gets beat up..eats loads..tells shite jokes.

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

Apocalypse Now.

A fan. Snails. A jungle. Dennis Hopper. Pigs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dF9gyYh1r4

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By *edMan over a year ago

cambridgeshire

"ET

Alien found

Alien goes home"

Alien found

Alien gets finger burnt

Alien goes home.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Transformers 2.

Crash, bang,crash, bang(WWHAAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?).

Crash, bang. Underwear model....Crash,bang."

Sounds like Dr K's review of it lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nude Nuns With Big Guns"

'nuff said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Debbie Does Dallas

Chronicles of a 60's cheerleader group met during their time at the brownies

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Free Willy

Not what you thought it was

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

Star wars.....wizard of Oz in space with dambusters as finale

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Mullholland Dr.~~~

Woman has a bang on head, and thinks loads of weird shit..and a midget is in it. And some pink paint..and so forth..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Witch

Scary shit happens in the woods in 1630

Dirty Grampa

Robert Dinero acts like an 18 year old punk while zac efferon uses many more opportunities to be naked.

Batman vs Superman

Men don tights for a butch scuffle, but they love each other really

Lost Highway

What the fuck was that about?! Seriously, I'm actually asking

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"The Witch

Scary shit happens in the woods in 1630

Dirty Grampa

Robert Dinero acts like an 18 year old punk while zac efferon uses many more opportunities to be naked.

Batman vs Superman

Men don tights for a butch scuffle, but they love each other really

Lost Highway

What the fuck was that about?! Seriously, I'm actually asking

N one knows dude..the only Lynch movie where you can work out what the fuck is going on is The Straight Story wherein an old geezer goes for a ride in the countryside on a lawnmower and eats some hotdogs..says hello to his bro wot was in Alien. End.

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Jack Reacher

Midget with body dismorphia beats people up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Inglorious Bastards- Bunch of Americans do a tour of Germany, do their level best to take in the local culture, learn the language etc, end up killing people, carving swastikas into their foreheads out of pure frustration

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The Wild Bunch~~~

Bunch of wild guys rob a bank, go to a whorehouse..get married to the girls and then kill everyone in Mexico. Claret in abundance.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Assassin

Plenty of anal action

Not refering to the Stallone, Banderas film from the mid 90s lol

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Jaws....should've bought a bigger boat , was warned , didn't listen , fucking big kipper knocks shite out of everyone !

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Star Wars... Angry ashmatic trys to control sprogs from one off fuck off some tart from a council estate , kids track him down , smash his gaff up .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Room

Kidnapped woman has baby while locked in a 10ft by 10ft room. 5 years later they try to escape. Fantastic acting by both lead parts (particularly the little boy)

Box of tissues a necessity "

I'm not openly wanking in a cinema! (again

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bundy true story

Likes to have sex with dead women.

Got caught.

Escaped, shagged more dead women

Got caught

Got electrocuted

The end

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Steel Magnolias...load of flange on the blob , banging on about how hard it is being a bird and not one of em would want to work on a buiding site .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Spring Breakers- group of teeny bopper rob their local corner shop to fund a lavished holiday, while on holiday are taken under the wing of a kindly local entrepreneur, they reward said entrepreneur by shooting him in the head, then precede gun down all the other local entrepreneurs before going back home again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The railway children:

Jenny Agutter keeps her clothes on, don't bother.

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Lord of the Rings... Not the film Graham Norton thought it would be as he demanded a refund .

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Superman v Batman ... A pint gets spilled , it all kicks off , wonder woman turns up and shouts " Leave it Brian , he's not worth it ! "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ted- clever little movie were a boy wishes on a star, his teddy bear comes to life, and is subsequently lumbe_ed with all the riskier gags they dare'nt give to the rest of the cast

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The Elephant Man~~~

Ugly bloke wanders about a bit, goes to hospital for his dinner (made by Hannibal Lecter), joins the circus, has a little boat ride and then has a good sleep. Quite an eventful day.

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I know what you did last summer

Fly on the wall documentary following pissed teenagers in Benidorm

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Beaches....Two birds banging on , one has a nose like a pickaxe , the other coughs , follows through and snuffs it .

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

War of the Worlds... Load of aliens come over here , take our jobs , shag our women , get council houses and giros , little closet miget kicks off on them . Think he's in the B.N.P.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Born on the Fourth of July~~~

Midget virgin, who couldn't get laid in a whorehouse, shoots some Chinese people, gets sciatica and goes on a piss up with Willem Dafoe. End.

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By *HaRiFMan over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

All the Jurassic Park Films

People get chased by escaped dinosaurs

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Age of Consent~~~

Helen Mirren, 18, gets kit off...BLOOOODY HELL!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dirty Dancing- she carries a watermelon.

And dances. Dirtily.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

high rise...soon...

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Fast and the furious

Good cars bad acting, worse cgi

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Frozen- the cold didn't bother her but it pissed her sister off!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Born on the Fourth of July~~~

Midget virgin, who couldn't get laid in a whorehouse, shoots some Chinese people, gets sciatica and goes on a piss up with Willem Dafoe. End.

Chinese people? wasnt that about the vietnam war?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dog Soldiers- couple of blokes on a camping trip in the highlands, its a lads holiday, so they're a wee bit dafty, bit leery, and commit a bit of trespassing, totally forgiveable, still the locals get shirty and try to eat them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fast and Furious 1-8.

Shit actors driving like cunts in shit japanese cars that have had Halfords supermarket sweep.

A very realistic film with never ending gear change and throttle response scenes coupled together with manoeuvres that defy the laws of physics.

Main actor dies in a real life car crash (goes to show that all that practice didn't count for shit) yet they continue to make these shit films.

Overall extremely shit

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Born on the Fourth of July~~~

Midget virgin, who couldn't get laid in a whorehouse, shoots some Chinese people, gets sciatica and goes on a piss up with Willem Dafoe. End.

Chinese people? wasnt that about the vietnam war?"

...humour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Brook back mountain

Two men having sex in a tent

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Brilliant movie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Doesn't she just

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wolf of Wall Street:

Best

Film

Ever!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wolf of Wall Street:

Best

Film

Ever! "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hateful 8

Two hours of my life I will never get back x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jaws 2

More teeth

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

From dusk till dawn: salma Hayek does the sexiest dance ever and feeds Tarantino tequila by pouring it down her leg with her toes in his mouth then turns into a vampire and everyone dies bar two

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From dusk till dawn: salma Hayek does the sexiest dance ever and feeds Tarantino tequila by pouring it down her leg with her toes in his mouth then turns into a vampire and everyone dies bar two"

I love that film x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From dusk till dawn: salma Hayek does the sexiest dance ever and feeds Tarantino tequila by pouring it down her leg with her toes in his mouth then turns into a vampire and everyone dies bar two

I love that film x"

I swear that scene kicked off my fetish for the female foot

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From dusk till dawn: salma Hayek does the sexiest dance ever and feeds Tarantino tequila by pouring it down her leg with her toes in his mouth then turns into a vampire and everyone dies bar two

I love that film x"

“Pussy, pussy, pussy! All pussy must go. At the ‘Titty Twister’ we’re slashing pussy in half! This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, hot pussy, cold pussy, wet pussy, tight pussy, big pussy, bloody pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy, smelly pussy, velvet pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin’ pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy, fake pussy! If you see it fuck it

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By *ustinC_edible.Man over a year ago

whitecross/sankey valley

Deadpool - lots of dying no swimming

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Some lovely peops kinda losin theme of the thread a ikkle bit..unny sayin..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A Few good men..you couldn't handle it

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By *mojeeCouple over a year ago

Dunfermline

Batman v Superman...... long boring and shite

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hostel....Obnoxious American backpackers get killed in inventive ways....one survives.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From dusk till dawn: salma Hayek does the sexiest dance ever and feeds Tarantino tequila by pouring it down her leg with her toes in his mouth then turns into a vampire and everyone dies bar two

I love that film x

You missed applepie pussy

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By *AA123Couple over a year ago

Lichfield

Saw

Civil engineer with disturbing ideas of what a puppet for a child should look like has his insurance claim denied and doesn't take too kindly to it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

King Kong

Group of people go abroad

Bring back giant gorilla

Put him in Broadway show

Gorilla not too happy about it

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By *AA123Couple over a year ago

Lichfield

Requiem for a Dream

Cutting to the chase, Jennifer Connelly shares a dildo anally with another girl at the end.

No, you don't see anything

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The boat that rocked - a boat that rocked.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From dusk till dawn: salma Hayek does the sexiest dance ever and feeds Tarantino tequila by pouring it down her leg with her toes in his mouth then turns into a vampire and everyone dies bar two

I love that film x

You missed applepie pussy"

It's In there somewhere

You just have to search for it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Swan Lake

Two lesbian having it off in ballet gear

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Duel

Car chase with a fucking great Lorry

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By *illwill69uMan over a year ago

moston

any Tom Cruise film:

Tom is good at *****

Tom gets better at ****

Tom screws up at ****

Tom has self-confidence crisis and runs away.

Tom comes back regains self-confidence and wins the girl.

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Car

Car chase with a fucking great demon at the end

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Avatar - Pocahontas with blue people

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From dusk till dawn: salma Hayek does the sexiest dance ever and feeds Tarantino tequila by pouring it down her leg with her toes in his mouth then turns into a vampire and everyone dies bar two

I love that film x

You missed applepie pussy

It's In there somewhere

You just have to search for it "

Nope its not there

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

"The railway children:

Jenny Agutter keeps her clothes on, don't bother."

Walkabout.

Jenny Agutter takes her clothes off

And it's a good film anyway..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Zombies: Dawn of the Dead (1978)~~~

Loads of ti_ed shoppers in a big mall go shoplifting..SWAT are called in and blow their heads off..then piss off in a helicopter..end.

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Rocky... World champ chats shit , gets banged .

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Rocky 2 , world champ doesn't learn , chats more shit , gets banged...goes on dole .

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Rocky 3 , world champ slacks off , gets banged by midget with manky hair cut . Old champ on dole helps him bang midget out .

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Rocky 4 , giant immigrant puts old champ on dole in 6 foot of soil club . Mumbly champ takes easy jet to giants gaff and bangs him out in his own back yard .

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By *nigmatic1Woman over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

Dear god I can't think of a review cos I'm sat here laughing my head off!!! Thanks guys...I needed that!! Funny as!!!!

xxx

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

Star Trek franchise.

Like Cocoon but in space and with ever more inventive weaves. Notable for eyebrow acting and the proto Tom Cruise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bridge of Spys

The cold war. The Yanks have a Russian, the Russians have a Yank. They get exchanged .Tom Hanks loses his coat.

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Thelma and Louise.... 2 flange on the blob joyride , drink Blue Nun , lose no claims bonus .

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Alien V P_edetor... 2 illegal aliens figh over a giro , both get council houses , Daily Mail not happy .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Rain Man~~~

Two midgets wander about, put some toothpicks in a box..eat fish fingers..screw a casino and wander about a bit again..and so forth..

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

A Bridge too Far

An hour too fucking long.

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

The good, the bad, and the ugly

It's not good, in fact it's pretty bad, and they are all fucking ugly

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By *enuinedannyMan over a year ago

walsall

"Man on fire

Don't fuck with denzel"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Amadeus~~~

Fella in ABBA (in past life as Mo Zart), write some decent tunes..

fella in Bucks Fizz (in past life as equal no mark) gets cob on and offs him..end.

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By *enuinedannyMan over a year ago

walsall

Poseidon boat right way up boat upside down end

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gone Girl - classic guy meets girl, guy loses girl, reunite and live happily ever after

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Midsummer night's dream...that'll learn yer for eating cheese before you go to bed .

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Robo cop...scallies turn pig into mince , gets mechano makeover , scallies get wooden overcoat , cop gets rusty .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Pulp Fiction - A conversation about burgers leads to violence

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Platoon~~~

Load of texan doalites shoot fuck out of each other in back of beyond ...to _educe post ww2 population explosion of previous generation of texan doalites who blew each others heads off too and had a shag to get over it... ..end..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lord of the Rings - Hobbit destroys family heirloom

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Wizard of Oz ... Midget travel agents ill advise sprog in table cloth , falls in with dodgy gang kills pensioner for footwear , melts a second crumbly , accepts lift from stranger .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Up, toy story 3, inside out - you're gonna cry

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

The Omen ... Fella gets duped into raising another man's sprog . It's got a tattoo and is a wrong 'un .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

WALL-E~~~

Talking bin/barbra streisand fan stows away on spaceship..gets load of wideloads off their arses..shags i pad..grows pot..end.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lion king - uncle kills kids father, so a pig and a big rat help him get revenge

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Se7en- sad tale of a misunderstood nobody who desperately wants to be a somebody..

But the poor guy can't sing, can't dance, no domestic pets that perform corny tricks. But refuses to let such set backs put the kibosh on his creative energies.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Her - Guy wants to fuck Siri

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple over a year ago

Derbyshire

Pretty Woman: prostitute spends so much of rich man's money on clothes, he decides it would be cheaper to marry her.

Mr ddc

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

Empire strikes back... Angry ashmatic gets payback with a car load of lads tooled up . Love child learns iffy religon off mutant frog who sounds like Fozzy bear . Lad learns real dad's not a bin man and halfs his glove bill .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Last Tango in Paris~~~

Brando shags 18 year old girlie, finds dead rat, uses Lurpak for something other than toast..has a dance. She shoots him. Moral: Shag birds your own age.

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By *ali 69Man over a year ago

jersey

War Horse....gyppos donkey joins army , bashes the bosh , enters the Grand National , Jack Duckworth puts a tenner on it , ends up as glue .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Unforgiven~~~

Old codger abandons kids..goes on piss up with arl mate..gets shit kicked outta him by bizzies..goes whoring..kicks shit outta bizzies..end.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Conan the Barbarian- after death of parents child is made a ward of the state..suffers rigors of the harsh social services regime.

Where as most would come away the worst for the experience, hero comes out the system fairly well balanced...

just a very heart warming family movie of triumph over adversity

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Batman vs superman

Shit

End of thread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Weekend at Bernies - dead guy stars in comedy.

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