FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Abuse as Cannot Accommodate
Abuse as Cannot Accommodate
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I've seen this in threads before. I cannot accommodate, not because I'm in a relationship but because of the make up of my house.
I make it clear on my profile that I only meet those who do accommodate. Which limits meets, but that's the way it is.
So why do others make such a point about it and decide I'm obviously cheating etc. The farcical thing is - they can't accommodate either.
I'll share a hotel sometimes or meet in a club. Wish people would spend less time judging and more time shagging. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Too true, so many people judge all the time. I read a great quote a while back, can't remember word for word but goes something like this....
If you can start to understand that the behaviour people display towards you is more to do with the relationship they have with themselves than you and your values then over time you will not react to anyone.
Basically if someone is judging you it's because they are sad, unhappy, insecure....I could go on!
Leave them to it, they're the ones wasting time and energy into nothing good.
Glen x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"I've seen this in threads before. I cannot accommodate, not because I'm in a relationship but because of the make up of my house.
I make it clear on my profile that I only meet those who do accommodate. Which limits meets, but that's the way it is.
So why do others make such a point about it and decide I'm obviously cheating etc. The farcical thing is - they can't accommodate either.
I'll share a hotel sometimes or meet in a club. Wish people would spend less time judging and more time shagging. "
I support the Less judging, more shagging campain. Fraternise not critise!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Don't see what the fuss is about. Can't accommodate. Ok well I'll get us a hotel room, plenty of travelodge and premier inn hotels up and down the country. Should be that simple but there's always one who kicks up a fuss |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.
They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can accommodate but only do so on the second meet , the first is always social anyway. Then I only accommodate if I feel it is OK. I once took a lovely lady back here. A few days later we were chatting and she wanted to come here again. I said no I was busy that evening. She then decided to come visit anyway. Knocked on the door. I answered. She then let go saying I should be with her and just her. I tried to calm her down then shut the door. Brick threw the window.
I'm more careful now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hey there OP. I can't accommodate (me mum is ill so, well you know), but I work outside of Bristol for 3 nights a week, I don't accommodate there either, but may considerate it.
I don't do verifications either, don't want them, don't give them . It leads to a fair few accusations and insults.
The great thing is, the members that message me abuse about those things are added to my block list and I think "whew, that was lucky"... Sometimes the level of abusive, judgemental messages can get too much but if you see their inane, abusive message as an indication of their true personality, its a bloody fantastic filter.
Happy swinging and I hope the level of abuse dies down
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.
They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst. "
He's not commenting on their opinions, which they are entitled to.
He's commenting on being given abuse, which I fully understand. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.
They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst.
He's not commenting on their opinions, which they are entitled to.
He's commenting on being given abuse, which I fully understand. "
I didn't see reference to abuse in the OP.
Abuse is still just words. I report abuse and ignore it. It only hurts if you let it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.
They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst.
He's not commenting on their opinions, which they are entitled to.
He's commenting on being given abuse, which I fully understand.
I didn't see reference to abuse in the OP.
Abuse is still just words. I report abuse and ignore it. It only hurts if you let it. "
Lovely bit of victim blaming there. 
Words can hurt just as much as physical wounding and to dismiss that is to dismiss the very real experiences of victims of abuse.
OP that's a totally shit thing to have happened to you, so sorry to hear it. I personally don't accommodate, and I don't do it because I hate people in my house. Period. Lol. When I say that, there's not a lot they can come back with...
Like a few people have said here, use it as a filter. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've seen this in threads before. I cannot accommodate, not because I'm in a relationship but because of the make up of my house.
I make it clear on my profile that I only meet those who do accommodate. Which limits meets, but that's the way it is.
So why do others make such a point about it and decide I'm obviously cheating etc. The farcical thing is - they can't accommodate either.
I'll share a hotel sometimes or meet in a club. Wish people would spend less time judging and more time shagging. "
I don't allow anyone in my home who won't have me in theirs. I don't seek justification why they can't: I don't care!
I wouldn't be jumping to conclusions or abuse though...unless asked why won't you meet me as you accommodate!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.
They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst.
He's not commenting on their opinions, which they are entitled to.
He's commenting on being given abuse, which I fully understand. "
'He' is a 'she' 
Some people automatically assume that if a man cannot accommodate they are married, whereas if a woman cannot accommodate, its for other reasons. I choose not to accommodate (my house, my rules) and actively look for guys who are happy meeting at hotels. Anything else gets ignored.
Once you get used to the fact that your choices will always offend someone, things get easier on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
'He' is a 'she'
Some people automatically assume that if a man cannot accommodate they are married, whereas if a woman cannot accommodate, its for other reasons. I choose not to accommodate (my house, my rules) and actively look for guys who are happy meeting at hotels. Anything else gets ignored.
Once you get used to the fact that your choices will always offend someone, things get easier on here. "
Sorry. My rubbish auto type on phone rather my lack of understanding.
We also do not accommodate and do not want to visit other people's places.
We just prefer clubs or hotels as it we prefer the feeling of "neutral ground" where no one has the potential to feel any kind of entitlement as a result.
We have had some abuse over it which is very unnecessary. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you can start to understand that the behaviour people display towards you is more to do with the relationship they have with themselves than you and your values then over time you will not react to anyone.
Glen x"
Very wise words, thanks for sharing!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've seen this in threads before. I cannot accommodate, not because I'm in a relationship but because of the make up of my house.
I make it clear on my profile that I only meet those who do accommodate. Which limits meets, but that's the way it is.
So why do others make such a point about it and decide I'm obviously cheating etc. The farcical thing is - they can't accommodate either.
I'll share a hotel sometimes or meet in a club. Wish people would spend less time judging and more time shagging. "
i get this too. Unfortunately some people are opinionated know it alls.. Better off not bothererin with some people as you get all sorts |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do you care what other people think? There's lots of things that I won't do. If people are in any way disrespectful about it, I don't meet them.
They are entitled to their opinions and so am I. Zero angst.
He's not commenting on their opinions, which they are entitled to.
He's commenting on being given abuse, which I fully understand.
I didn't see reference to abuse in the OP.
Abuse is still just words. I report abuse and ignore it. It only hurts if you let it.
Lovely bit of victim blaming there.
Words can hurt just as much as physical wounding and to dismiss that is to dismiss the very real experiences of victims of abuse.
OP that's a totally shit thing to have happened to you, so sorry to hear it. I personally don't accommodate, and I don't do it because I hate people in my house. Period. Lol. When I say that, there's not a lot they can come back with...
Like a few people have said here, use it as a filter. "
Not blaming anyone ffs. 
Twist my words to make your twisted point. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I choose not to accommodate as I prefer the safety and environment of clubs for meets that and I don't want strangers in my home fab is my fantasy fun life and I choose to keep it that way and have my meet preference on my profile.
If someone chooses to be abusive about it I block n report to admin and think thank god I am clear on my choice because if they can get funny over not being allowed at my home what else would they get funny about if we didn't click on an actual meet
Your home is your REAL life and your choice should be respected
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
That obviously means he's in a relationship and cheating on his partner 
