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Fitness Machine Bollocks
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It never ceases to amaze me with the absolute shit that people try and sell as 'exercise' machines.
Walking through town and I've seen a guy stood on something that literally just wobbles your body. As if standing still you could wobble your body to fitness.
Despite looking ridiculous, being ridiculous and being very expensive, it seems designed to appeal to people that want to believe there is an easy way to get fit without any effort. There isn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get plenty of exercise from the energy it takes to lift my ice cream laden spoon to my mouth. I'm considering getting someone to do it for me since I cba. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Anyone remember those belts that promised to give you a six pack if they literally electrocuted you enough?
Anything but "get your ass in the gym" "
Haha oh yeah, those. I knew someone who had one... |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"I get plenty of exercise from the energy it takes to lift my ice cream laden spoon to my mouth. I'm considering getting someone to do it for me since I cba."
That can burn up a surprising amount of calories. The finding someone to do it for you bit.  I once had to walk 500 miles after proclaiming I'd do that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Anyone remember those belts that promised to give you a six pack if they literally electrocuted you enough?
Anything but "get your ass in the gym"
Haha oh yeah, those. I knew someone who had one..."
Did they get ripped whilst sitting on the sofa? |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Anyone remember those belts that promised to give you a six pack if they literally electrocuted you enough?
Anything but "get your ass in the gym"
Haha oh yeah, those. I knew someone who had one...
Did they get ripped whilst sitting on the sofa? "
I'll give you one guess to the answer to that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyone remember those belts that promised to give you a six pack if they literally electrocuted you enough?
Anything but "get your ass in the gym"
Haha oh yeah, those. I knew someone who had one...
Did they get ripped whilst sitting on the sofa?
I'll give you one guess to the answer to that. "
Beefcake, Beefcake, BEEFCAKE |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Anyone remember those belts that promised to give you a six pack if they literally electrocuted you enough?
Anything but "get your ass in the gym"
Haha oh yeah, those. I knew someone who had one...
Did they get ripped whilst sitting on the sofa?
I'll give you one guess to the answer to that.
Beefcake, Beefcake, BEEFCAKE"
Screw you guys, I'm going home. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Will anyone admit to having bought some of this shite?
I did when I was a teenager. I wasn't trying to lose weight though, just wanted to bulk up actually. Then I got my wish and now I wish I could lose weight and go back to how I looked at the start. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Will anyone admit to having bought some of this shite?
I did when I was a teenager. I wasn't trying to lose weight though, just wanted to bulk up actually. Then I got my wish and now I wish I could lose weight and go back to how I looked at the start. "
Yeah, I've got the electrocution belt thingy. I think my tummy looks good  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Will anyone admit to having bought some of this shite?
I did when I was a teenager. I wasn't trying to lose weight though, just wanted to bulk up actually. Then I got my wish and now I wish I could lose weight and go back to how I looked at the start.
Yeah, I've got the electrocution belt thingy. I think my tummy looks good "
I think someone has good genes rather that it having much to do with a fly trap that fits around your waist |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Will anyone admit to having bought some of this shite?
I did when I was a teenager. I wasn't trying to lose weight though, just wanted to bulk up actually. Then I got my wish and now I wish I could lose weight and go back to how I looked at the start.
Yeah, I've got the electrocution belt thingy. I think my tummy looks good "
The visibilty or otherwise of abs is to do with where your body tends to store fat and ergo, your bodyfat percentage. For MOST men, you wil see "soft" abs at 10-12% BF. I can't remember what it is for women... about 18% I think without googling it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Will anyone admit to having bought some of this shite?
I did when I was a teenager. I wasn't trying to lose weight though, just wanted to bulk up actually. Then I got my wish and now I wish i could lose weight and go back to how I looked at the start.
Yeah, I've got the electrocution belt thingy. I think my tummy looks good
The visibilty or otherwise of abs is to do with where your body tends to store fat and ergo, your bodyfat percentage. For MOST men, you wil see "soft" abs at 10-12% BF. I can't remember what it is for women... about 18% I think without googling it. "
There was a guy on celebrity big brother who had liposuction but just on his abs. He was a fat fucker with fat arms, a fat face, fat legs and a ripped six pack. At first I thought he was wearing a t-shirt with a six pack printed on it!
Frankly he looked worse than if he just had a big belly there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Will anyone admit to having bought some of this shite?
I did when I was a teenager. I wasn't trying to lose weight though, just wanted to bulk up actually. Then I got my wish and now I wish I could lose weight and go back to how I looked at the start.
Yeah, I've got the electrocution belt thingy. I think my tummy looks good
The visibilty or otherwise of abs is to do with where your body tends to store fat and ergo, your bodyfat percentage. For MOST men, you wil see "soft" abs at 10-12% BF. I can't remember what it is for women... about 18% I think without googling it. "
 Apparently it's supposed to work better the closer it is to your muscles (so, not resting on fat on your belly) so when I saw it on sale I thought I'd buy it since I'm lean anyway.
I put it on once and it hurt like a motherfucker. I haven't used it since. But the OP did ask who had any of the stuff so I figured I'd own up.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Will anyone admit to having bought some of this shite?
I did when I was a teenager. I wasn't trying to lose weight though, just wanted to bulk up actually. Then I got my wish and now I wish I could lose weight and go back to how I looked at the start.
Yeah, I've got the electrocution belt thingy. I think my tummy looks good
The visibilty or otherwise of abs is to do with where your body tends to store fat and ergo, your bodyfat percentage. For MOST men, you wil see "soft" abs at 10-12% BF. I can't remember what it is for women... about 18% I think without googling it.
Apparently it's supposed to work better the closer it is to your muscles (so, not resting on fat on your belly) so when I saw it on sale I thought I'd buy it since I'm lean anyway.
I put it on once and it hurt like a motherfucker. I haven't used it since. But the OP did ask who had any of the stuff so I figured I'd own up. "
We can forgive marc's chin up bar since chin ups are actually a serious exercise. Although those things usually have the effect of tearing out your door frame... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Will anyone admit to having bought some of this shite?
I did when I was a teenager. I wasn't trying to lose weight though, just wanted to bulk up actually. Then I got my wish and now I wish I could lose weight and go back to how I looked at the start.
Yeah, I've got the electrocution belt thingy. I think my tummy looks good
The visibilty or otherwise of abs is to do with where your body tends to store fat and ergo, your bodyfat percentage. For MOST men, you wil see "soft" abs at 10-12% BF. I can't remember what it is for women... about 18% I think without googling it.
Apparently it's supposed to work better the closer it is to your muscles (so, not resting on fat on your belly) so when I saw it on sale I thought I'd buy it since I'm lean anyway.
I put it on once and it hurt like a motherfucker. I haven't used it since. But the OP did ask who had any of the stuff so I figured I'd own up.
We can forgive marc's chin up bar since chin ups are actually a serious exercise. Although those things usually have the effect of tearing out your door frame... "
Marc does real exercise, I'm the lazy one.
*legal note: No door frames were harmed in the taking of our pictures* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Will anyone admit to having bought some of this shite?
I did when I was a teenager. I wasn't trying to lose weight though, just wanted to bulk up actually. Then I got my wish and now I wish I could lose weight and go back to how I looked at the start.
Yeah, I've got the electrocution belt thingy. I think my tummy looks good
The visibilty or otherwise of abs is to do with where your body tends to store fat and ergo, your bodyfat percentage. For MOST men, you wil see "soft" abs at 10-12% BF. I can't remember what it is for women... about 18% I think without googling it.
Apparently it's supposed to work better the closer it is to your muscles (so, not resting on fat on your belly) so when I saw it on sale I thought I'd buy it since I'm lean anyway.
I put it on once and it hurt like a motherfucker. I haven't used it since. But the OP did ask who had any of the stuff so I figured I'd own up.
We can forgive marc's chin up bar since chin ups are actually a serious exercise. Although those things usually have the effect of tearing out your door frame...
Marc does real exercise, I'm the lazy one.
*legal note: No door frames were harmed in the taking of our pictures*"
Sounds like us. My wife, bless her, comes back from an hour and a half at the gym and hasn't actually broken a sweat!
But then she gets a bit arsey about it if I imply she actually has to use the equipment at the gym and not just stare at it. |
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