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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Dear agony aunts..I thought I had at last persuaded my Mrs to give swinging a go. We booked a Birmingham hotel Last week, set up a joint profile and got loads of replies. We were going to take it easy first just sensual massage unless she decided she wanted more. Then right at point of meeting, her bottle went and we didn't do it...Advice please on my next move. Frustrated of Chorley.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have you tried clubs instead. "
I think that may be a bit too intimidating for her she's pretty conscious about her weight even though she's only a size 14 and sexy with it. |
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"Have you tried clubs instead.
I think that may be a bit too intimidating for her she's pretty conscious about her weight even though she's only a size 14 and sexy with it."
Try a dressed club then such as xtasia. Really is no pressure from anyone to play, as it's like a nightclub inside, you could treat your first visit as a trip to a normal nightclub and stay in the large bar/dance floor area.  |
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"Have you tried clubs instead.
I think that may be a bit too intimidating for her she's pretty conscious about her weight even though she's only a size 14 and sexy with it.
Try a dressed club then such as xtasia. Really is no pressure from anyone to play, as it's like a nightclub inside, you could treat your first visit as a trip to a normal nightclub and stay in the large bar/dance floor area. "
Forgot to say dress as you would to a normal nightclub. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you tried clubs instead.
I think that may be a bit too intimidating for her she's pretty conscious about her weight even though she's only a size 14 and sexy with it.
Try a dressed club then such as xtasia. Really is no pressure from anyone to play, as it's like a nightclub inside, you could treat your first visit as a trip to a normal nightclub and stay in the large bar/dance floor area.
Forgot to say dress as you would to a normal nightclub."
Even I've gone there and stayed clothed, and that's saying something   Xtasia is a great club as Centaur says, and definitely a no pressure environment  |
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Like I said on the other thread:
If you want to swing, but one of you isn't comfortable doing it, don't get frustrated because they may be frustrated too.
It's perfectly normal to dip out at the last minute, especially if you are the one being introduced to the idea.
Remember not to force the idea on your partner.
Your frustration may come from a place of you wanting to indulge in the idea, getting excited and it not happening.
What is important to remember is that your partner has to trust you and you have to trust your partner.
Small baby steps I say and open honest communication with each other as to what you want from swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have you tried clubs instead.
I think that may be a bit too intimidating for her she's pretty conscious about her weight even though she's only a size 14 and sexy with it.
Try a dressed club then such as xtasia. Really is no pressure from anyone to play, as it's like a nightclub inside, you could treat your first visit as a trip to a normal nightclub and stay in the large bar/dance floor area. "
That sounds a like a plan..not too much preeesure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Far too rushed, go at your partners pace and chill out.
That's easy to say but I have so got the horn to try it."
Best bet is not to make it about you! Get body, her choice, let it be all about her and her pace regardless of your horn |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Far too rushed, go at your partners pace and chill out.
That's easy to say but I have so got the horn to try it.
Best bet is not to make it about you! Get body, her choice, let it be all about her and her pace regardless of your horn "
So hard to though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Far too rushed, go at your partners pace and chill out.
That's easy to say but I have so got the horn to try it.
Best bet is not to make it about you! Get body, her choice, let it be all about her and her pace regardless of your horn
So hard to though"
Well if it was easy everyone would be at it.
Have you done much talking and taken time to understand what the problem is ?
This isn't all about you and your needs, it's about the both of you enjoying it together. I'd take a couple of months out and work together and listen to one another, it's not a race. Take small steps and keep talking or she might back out altogether as she may think you'll just doing this to get your end away. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Far too rushed, go at your partners pace and chill out.
That's easy to say but I have so got the horn to try it.
Best bet is not to make it about you! Get body, her choice, let it be all about her and her pace regardless of your horn
So hard to though
Well if it was easy everyone would be at it.
Have you done much talking and taken time to understand what the problem is ?
This isn't all about you and your needs, it's about the both of you enjoying it together. I'd take a couple of months out and work together and listen to one another, it's not a race. Take small steps and keep talking or she might back out altogether as she may think you'll just doing this to get your end away. "
That would be nice though. But seriously I get it... I'll try to be patient and see how it goes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Presumably op because you have a single profile on here with no mention of your other half it doesn't matter if she plays.... You will simply go ahead without her anyway?? "
Feeling like I'm up against it here but have a look in the swingers chat forum. I've had a few replies similar to this. Hope what I said explains it. |
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