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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that
this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender .
MALE PROCEDURE
1 . Drive up to the cash machine.
2 . Put down your car window.
3 . Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 . Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 . Retrieve card , cash and receipt.
6 . Put window up.
7 . Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1 . Drive up to cash machine.
2 . Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3 . Set hand brake, put the window down.
4 . Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5 . Tell person on phone you will call them back and hang up.
6 . Attempt to insert card into machine.
7 . Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8 . Insert card.
9 . Re-insert card the right way.
10 . Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11 . Enter PIN.
12 . Press cancel and re - enter correct PIN.
13 . Enter amount of cash required.
14 . Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15 . Retrieve cash and receipt.
16 . Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
17 . Write deposit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18 . Re-check makeup.
19 . Drive forward 2 feet.
20 . Reverse back to cash machine.
21 . Retrieve card.
22 . Re-empty hand bag, locate purse, and place
card into the slot provided.
23 . Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24 . Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25 . Redial person on phone.
26 . Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27 . Release hand Brake. |
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FEMALE PROCEDURE
1 . Drive up to cash machine.
2 . Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3 . Set hand brake, put the window down.
4 . Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5 . Tell person on phone you will call them back and hang up.
6 . Attempt to insert card into machine.
7 . Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8 . Insert card.
9 . Re-insert card the right way.
10 . Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11 . Enter PIN.
12 . Press cancel and re - enter correct PIN.
13 . Enter amount of cash required.
14 . Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15 . Retrieve cash and receipt.
16 . Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
17 . Write deposit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18 . Re-check makeup.
19 . Drive forward 2 feet.
20 . Reverse back to cash machine.
21 . Retrieve card.
22 . Re-empty hand bag, locate purse, and place
card into the slot provided.
23 . Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24 . Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25 . Redial person on phone.
26 . Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27 . Release hand Brake.
MALE PROCEDURE
1 . Drive up to the cash machine.
2 . Put down your car window.
3 . Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 . Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 . Wait to hear the confirmation "Sorry sir this is McDonalds, we don't do cashback"
6 . Retrieve card and refuse to ask where the drive through bank is.
6 . Put window up.
7 . Drive off. |
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