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Married men
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nobody should be judged on here.
Personally I prefer not to play with someone who is attached but that's mainly as truly single people are generally easier to meet without sneaking around and grabbing an hour here or there, but I'd never judge someone for being here |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
"
The question is not , 'should married men be on here' ...
People make their decisions based on themselves and rightly so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
"
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to avoid married men.... To me its about my conscience and karma....
Probably sounds bollocks to some but I wouldn't like to be cheated on and believe you get back what you put out there.... |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site. "
Your reasoning is very weak.
Someone being on a 'swingers' site does not mean that they condone cheating on partners.
A percentage of married men and women on here alone are here without their partners knowledge.
It's the lying people object to. The betrayal. The double standards. The disrespect and disregard to partners and family ...... as long as they get sex. |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site. "
Yes, sometimes it is deeply hypocritical, people often 'project' onto others - they like to condemn in others the facets of themselves they most abhor. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site. "
It's not taking the moral high ground though is it, if you choose not to deceive and cheat with someone. Just because I'm on here doesn't mean I have to change how I see things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of my acquaintances and meets have been with married men.
I generally prefer the older man, so it comes with the territory.
My only reservation is with people in a relationship, whereby the other half is oblivious to their other lifestyle.
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This has been talked about lots over the years, I would say that the vast majority of people entering into the the scene do so as an extension of their own sex life and this takes an extreamly committed relationship based on respect, trust, honesty and openness. Therefore playing with someone who is married and has a partner who is unaware would make them part of this deceit, dishonesty and go against everything that allowed them to be part of the scene in the first place.
However, there are also some people who are playing with their partners permission and as long as this can be verified by a phone call etc then there are many who would not have a problem, indeed we have a few male and female friends who play in the scene with their partners permission as this is their thing and they both get something out of it.
Anyway hope that makes sense and answers your question, at least from one perspective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site.
Your reasoning is very weak.
Someone being on a 'swingers' site does not mean that they condone cheating on partners.
A percentage of married men and women on here alone are here without their partners knowledge.
It's the lying people object to. The betrayal. The double standards. The disrespect and disregard to partners and family ...... as long as they get sex. "
Better put than I did  |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site.
Your reasoning is very weak.
Someone being on a 'swingers' site does not mean that they condone cheating on partners.
A percentage of married men and women on here alone are here without their partners knowledge.
It's the lying people object to. The betrayal. The double standards. The disrespect and disregard to partners and family ...... as long as they get sex. "
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As both of us have been on the receiving end of living with cheats and knowing what that feels like we choose not to play with marrieds whose partners are not supportive of their situation. That's not judging, that's just our choice. |
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I don't know why. Personally I don't care until they start going on about their wife when she doesn't have the right of reply or they start making unfair judgements about me. Get on with it and stop blaming other people for your own lack of success would be my stance if asked. |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site.
Your reasoning is very weak.
Someone being on a 'swingers' site does not mean that they condone cheating on partners.
A percentage of married men and women on here alone are here without their partners knowledge.
It's the lying people object to. The betrayal. The double standards. The disrespect and disregard to partners and family ...... as long as they get sex. "
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"I don't know why. Personally I don't care until they start going on about their wife when she doesn't have the right of reply or they start making unfair judgements about me. Get on with it and stop blaming other people for your own lack of success would be my stance if asked."
This as well. |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
"
der because you want to fuck my wife but we cant fuck yours  |
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The ones that I really despair at ( thought their unbelievable ignorance used to make me laugh ) are the ones that say......... ' I put married on my profile. At least i'm 'honest'. No my wife doesn't know so discretion is a must. I can do you between 2.30 a.m and 2.45 a.m in the back of my van ...... please say yes.
Attractive....mmmmmmmmmm |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
der because you want to fuck my wife but we cant fuck yours "
Please..... sometimes I love it here .... that made me laugh so much....... Durrrrrrrrrr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The ones that I really despair at ( thought their unbelievable ignorance used to make me laugh ) are the ones that say......... ' I put married on my profile. At least i'm 'honest'. No my wife doesn't know so discretion is a must. I can do you between 2.30 a.m and 2.45 a.m in the back of my van ...... please say yes.
Attractive....mmmmmmmmmm "
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
der because you want to fuck my wife but we cant fuck yours "
Maybe your wife wants to be fucked by another man and his doesn't. Is it better to swing without your wife, if you know she doesn't want to, or to force her into it? I know there are couples who have emotionally coerced their partner into swinging here, and we see them in clubs too ... spouses who obviously don't want to swing but do. What is the option if your partner doesn't want to do it? |
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I had one the other day trying to justify his actions by saying he suddenly realised he would never shag another woman in his life and panicked.
Well fucking diddums!!!! Totally, utterly self-centred. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
der because you want to fuck my wife but we cant fuck yours
Maybe your wife wants to be fucked by another man and his doesn't. Is it better to swing without your wife, if you know she doesn't want to, or to force her into it? I know there are couples who have emotionally coerced their partner into swinging here, and we see them in clubs too ... spouses who obviously don't want to swing but do. What is the option if your partner doesn't want to do it? "
respect their wishes and don't do it. We don't want to swing no more or should I say I the wife doesn't want to. Hubby is happy to go along with my decision. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
"
Wow what a naughty Mr Happy you have but it still wouldn't sway me.Your right it is your choice and at least your being honest.I'd feel sorry for your Mrs and it would put me off |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
"
If a person I judges that it's OK to meet a married man is that bad too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
"
Cheats are judged everywhere, why do you think Fab would be any different? |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
der because you want to fuck my wife but we cant fuck yours
Maybe your wife wants to be fucked by another man and his doesn't. Is it better to swing without your wife, if you know she doesn't want to, or to force her into it? I know there are couples who have emotionally coerced their partner into swinging here, and we see them in clubs too ... spouses who obviously don't want to swing but do. What is the option if your partner doesn't want to do it? "
You have to MAN UP and talk about it openly and honestly, make your choice, and let her make her own decision!!
She can choose to swing, she can choose to agree with you swinging without her, or she can walk away.
Deceiving someone regardless of any agreement with them is so bloody cowardly, you have to give people free choice! |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
"
It is your choice to be on here definitely,but if you feel you are being judged are there not dedicated sites you could use instead. |
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[quot
Maybe your wife wants to be fucked by another man and his doesn't. Is it better to swing without your wife, if you know she doesn't want to, or to force her into it? I know there are couples who have emotionally coerced their partner into swinging here, and we see them in clubs too ... spouses who obviously don't want to swing but do. What is the option if your partner doesn't want to do it?
If your in a relationship and one of you doesn't want to do it, or has done it but wants to stop then it ends there. Even now after 9 years of mind blowing experiences I would happily stop as this has always been our joint adventure so without us both it would no longer be fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"[quot
Maybe your wife wants to be fucked by another man and his doesn't. Is it better to swing without your wife, if you know she doesn't want to, or to force her into it? I know there are couples who have emotionally coerced their partner into swinging here, and we see them in clubs too ... spouses who obviously don't want to swing but do. What is the option if your partner doesn't want to do it?
If your in a relationship and one of you doesn't want to do it, or has done it but wants to stop then it ends there. Even now after 9 years of mind blowing experiences I would happily stop as this has always been our joint adventure so without us both it would no longer be fun."
more or less what I also said x |
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"[quot
Maybe your wife wants to be fucked by another man and his doesn't. Is it better to swing without your wife, if you know she doesn't want to, or to force her into it? I know there are couples who have emotionally coerced their partner into swinging here, and we see them in clubs too ... spouses who obviously don't want to swing but do. What is the option if your partner doesn't want to do it?
If your in a relationship and one of you doesn't want to do it, or has done it but wants to stop then it ends there. Even now after 9 years of mind blowing experiences I would happily stop as this has always been our joint adventure so without us both it would no longer be fun."
This isn't the case for everyone here though. I think a lot of people who moan about married men aren't one hundred per cent certain their partner wants to do it as much as they do .... |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
der because you want to fuck my wife but we cant fuck yours
Maybe your wife wants to be fucked by another man and his doesn't. Is it better to swing without your wife, if you know she doesn't want to, or to force her into it? I know there are couples who have emotionally coerced their partner into swinging here, and we see them in clubs too ... spouses who obviously don't want to swing but do. What is the option if your partner doesn't want to do it?
You have to MAN UP and talk about it openly and honestly, make your choice, and let her make her own decision!!
She can choose to swing, she can choose to agree with you swinging without her, or she can walk away.
Deceiving someone regardless of any agreement with them is so bloody cowardly, you have to give people free choice!"
They can't man up. Who'd do the shirts and tea and look after his kids.....?
His mum doesn't want him back and he loves having sole control of the remote.....
( him is generic ) |
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"I don't know why. Personally I don't care until they start going on about their wife when she doesn't have the right of reply or they start making unfair judgements about me. Get on with it and stop blaming other people for your own lack of success would be my stance if asked."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
"
Its not my job to calibrate other peoples' moral barometers.
That said- this thread looks like a storm brewing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because everyone judges people for things. I'm married and I judge the shit out of most people on here for various things I disagree with.
I don't particularly feel the need to tell them how disgusted I am with their behaviour though, as people are wont to do unprompted when it comes to married people. I found the best thing was to block messages from everyone to stop the nasty ones getting through, and just message people myself who had made it clear that they were ok with my situation.
There are also an awful lot of people (male, female and couples alike) who say something very different in private to what they state in public when it comes to married people. Perhaps because they're hoping to look noble and get their leg over with one of the cheated on partners. Who knows. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why is it judgemental to not want to have sex with someone, for whatever reason?
Find people who don't mind. Or talk to your wife. I don't see the point in trying to convince people who won't meet you that they are being judgemental. |
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"The ones that I really despair at ( thought their unbelievable ignorance used to make me laugh ) are the ones that say......... ' I put married on my profile. At least i'm 'honest'. No my wife doesn't know so discretion is a must. I can do you between 2.30 a.m and 2.45 a.m in the back of my van ...... please say yes.
Attractive....mmmmmmmmmm "
It amuses me also. Add to that the people who meet them with a I don't care attitude as they're honest with me! How delusional are they? Do they honestly expect someone who is blatantly dishonest towards the person they've exchanged vows with to be honest with someone they just want to fuck?!!
Yeah...right! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're up front and honest about your circumstances then you're likely to find that there are those who will respond to you 
It's the deceit and lies to which many object
No matter where you go, what you say, or what you do, there'll always be judgemental people to one degree or another. |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site. "
Are you saying it is immoral to be a swinger ? |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site.
Yes, sometimes it is deeply hypocritical, people often 'project' onto others - they like to condemn in others the facets of themselves they most abhor."
Its not hypocritical. Cheating is about deceit. There is nothing wrong with swinging. |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site.
Yes, sometimes it is deeply hypocritical, people often 'project' onto others - they like to condemn in others the facets of themselves they most abhor.
Its not hypocritical. Cheating is about deceit. There is nothing wrong with swinging. "
As long as both partner really do want to do it and aren't being emotionally blackmailed into it .... are we the only ones who see couples at clubs where one of the partners is clearly not into it as much as the other? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I am quite comfortable with being judgemental.
If someone lies to, cheats on and deceives their partner I have no problems with condemning their behaviour.
Just because I am a swinger does not mean I have no moral compass.
If you are sexually frustrated in your relationship then sort it. If you cant sort it then get a divorce and if you cant accept getting a divorce then live with it.
Sneaking out and fucking around behind your partners back is inexcusable.
That's our opinion for what it is worth. |
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"Personally I am quite comfortable with being judgemental.
If someone lies to, cheats on and deceives their partner I have no problems with condemning their behaviour.
Just because I am a swinger does not mean I have no moral compass.
If you are sexually frustrated in your relationship then sort it. If you cant sort it then get a divorce and if you cant accept getting a divorce then live with it.
Sneaking out and fucking around behind your partners back is inexcusable.
That's our opinion for what it is worth."
hey were of the same opinion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't care about people condemning cheating, it's the unsolicited "advice" that pisses me off.
You should just talk to them
You should get a divorce
You should leave them
You should do this
You should do that
Errrr, no, YOU should fuck off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I am quite comfortable with being judgemental.
If someone lies to, cheats on and deceives their partner I have no problems with condemning their behaviour.
Just because I am a swinger does not mean I have no moral compass.
If you are sexually frustrated in your relationship then sort it. If you cant sort it then get a divorce and if you cant accept getting a divorce then live with it.
Sneaking out and fucking around behind your partners back is inexcusable.
That's our opinion for what it is worth."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't care about people condemning cheating, it's the unsolicited "advice" that pisses me off.
You should just talk to them
You should get a divorce
You should leave them
You should do this
You should do that
Errrr, no, YOU should fuck off."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I won't say judgemental as such each to their own but I personally couldn't do it cos I wouldn't want to be cheated on myself, so I don't see why I should aid someone else in doing just that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't care about people condemning cheating, it's the unsolicited "advice" that pisses me off.
You should just talk to them
You should get a divorce
You should leave them
You should do this
You should do that
Errrr, no, YOU should fuck off."
Do you mean on the thread or in private messages? Because the thread kinda invites this type of commentary...
Personally I don't give a shit. I won't have sex with people I know are cheating but I don't think their relationship is my business. But it would help if people didn't make their relationship a topic for public discussion, by starting a thread about it for example. |
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"Personally I am quite comfortable with being judgemental.
If someone lies to, cheats on and deceives their partner I have no problems with condemning their behaviour.
Just because I am a swinger does not mean I have no moral compass.
If you are sexually frustrated in your relationship then sort it. If you cant sort it then get a divorce and if you cant accept getting a divorce then live with it.
Sneaking out and fucking around behind your partners back is inexcusable.
That's our opinion for what it is worth."
Love it. |
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Personally, I truly don't care. I've no interest in meeting certain type of men: married ones amongst them.
Would I write to somebody in moral outrage? No! Would I comment if they whinge with entitlement on threads like this? Yes!
People are turned down for various reasons. How hard is it to find likeminded playmates instead of moaning about others preferences in not want *you?!!*  |
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"I don't care about people condemning cheating, it's the unsolicited "advice" that pisses me off.
You should just talk to them
You should get a divorce
You should leave them
You should do this
You should do that
Errrr, no, YOU should fuck off.
Do you mean on the thread or in private messages? Because the thread kinda invites this type of commentary...
Personally I don't give a shit. I won't have sex with people I know are cheating but I don't think their relationship is my business. But it would help if people didn't make their relationship a topic for public discussion, by starting a thread about it for example. "
Exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have noticed there are much more married men on fab than I previously thought....doesn't matter to me really one way or another..each to their own..as long as folk are honest from the start |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't care about people condemning cheating, it's the unsolicited "advice" that pisses me off.
You should just talk to them
You should get a divorce
You should leave them
You should do this
You should do that
Errrr, no, YOU should fuck off.
Do you mean on the thread or in private messages? Because the thread kinda invites this type of commentary...
Personally I don't give a shit. I won't have sex with people I know are cheating but I don't think their relationship is my business. But it would help if people didn't make their relationship a topic for public discussion, by starting a thread about it for example. "
I mean private messages primarily, but there are also plenty of instances where it's a thread about something entirely different and someone "helpfully" pops up to tell the married person exactly how they should be dealing with their life.
I agree a thread inviting comment on it is different - because in that case it wouldn't be entirely unsolicited. Although I still think it's madness to presume to dish out instruction on how someone you don't know, have never met and whose relationships you know nothing about should live their life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Married men who cheat not swing are a pain. I was married for 17 years and never cheated on my ex wife. We split up for another reason. If married men need to cheat they should have a good chat with their wife and see what's wrong with the marriage. Couples on here swing and that's the difference. If a man or woman need extra sex outside of their marriage by cheating then they need to sort out what is wrong with their life and bugger of out of fab and concentrate on getting back on track. I wouldn't knowingly meet a married lady who's husband didn't know she was on this site. There are hundreds of cheating sites why don't they use them instead of swinging sites.
Leave swinging sites to those who enjoy the lifestyle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't care about people condemning cheating, it's the unsolicited "advice" that pisses me off.
You should just talk to them
You should get a divorce
You should leave them
You should do this
You should do that
Errrr, no, YOU should fuck off.
Do you mean on the thread or in private messages? Because the thread kinda invites this type of commentary...
Personally I don't give a shit. I won't have sex with people I know are cheating but I don't think their relationship is my business. But it would help if people didn't make their relationship a topic for public discussion, by starting a thread about it for example.
I mean private messages primarily, but there are also plenty of instances where it's a thread about something entirely different and someone "helpfully" pops up to tell the married person exactly how they should be dealing with their life.
I agree a thread inviting comment on it is different - because in that case it wouldn't be entirely unsolicited. Although I still think it's madness to presume to dish out instruction on how someone you don't know, have never met and whose relationships you know nothing about should live their life."
Fair enough. I never understood private messaging people nasty things anyway, whether about cheating or anything else. As for the thread, well, I just think the forum is all about offer personal opinions on things and I don't see a thread about cheating as any different. (Although I agree with you regarding threads where cheating is not the topic of the OP but dragged into discussion nonetheless). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't care about people condemning cheating, it's the unsolicited "advice" that pisses me off.
You should just talk to them
You should get a divorce
You should leave them
You should do this
You should do that
Errrr, no, YOU should fuck off.
Do you mean on the thread or in private messages? Because the thread kinda invites this type of commentary...
Personally I don't give a shit. I won't have sex with people I know are cheating but I don't think their relationship is my business. But it would help if people didn't make their relationship a topic for public discussion, by starting a thread about it for example.
I mean private messages primarily, but there are also plenty of instances where it's a thread about something entirely different and someone "helpfully" pops up to tell the married person exactly how they should be dealing with their life.
I agree a thread inviting comment on it is different - because in that case it wouldn't be entirely unsolicited. Although I still think it's madness to presume to dish out instruction on how someone you don't know, have never met and whose relationships you know nothing about should live their life."
Everyone has their own backstory and journey to being here. It's never black and white. whilst not trying to justify cheating it's not always as simple as some think.
I always think the simplistic 'well if you're going to cheat just get a divorce' is the Fab equivalent of 'all immigrants are terrorists' - ie uninformed, ignorant and devoid of the true facts of the situation.
I understand people having their values and morals. But live and let live if you don't understand or know the facts behind other people's lives. |
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I don't like it when some men talk about their wives and say disrespectful things about them as you don't know both sides of the story and if they talk about their wives they will talk about you too. |
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"I don't care about people condemning cheating, it's the unsolicited "advice" that pisses me off.
You should just talk to them
You should get a divorce
You should leave them
You should do this
You should do that
Errrr, no, YOU should fuck off.
Do you mean on the thread or in private messages? Because the thread kinda invites this type of commentary...
Personally I don't give a shit. I won't have sex with people I know are cheating but I don't think their relationship is my business. But it would help if people didn't make their relationship a topic for public discussion, by starting a thread about it for example.
I mean private messages primarily, but there are also plenty of instances where it's a thread about something entirely different and someone "helpfully" pops up to tell the married person exactly how they should be dealing with their life.
I agree a thread inviting comment on it is different - because in that case it wouldn't be entirely unsolicited. Although I still think it's madness to presume to dish out instruction on how someone you don't know, have never met and whose relationships you know nothing about should live their life.
Everyone has their own backstory and journey to being here. It's never black and white. whilst not trying to justify cheating it's not always as simple as some think.
I always think the simplistic 'well if you're going to cheat just get a divorce' is the Fab equivalent of 'all immigrants are terrorists' - ie uninformed, ignorant and devoid of the true facts of the situation.
I understand people having their values and morals. But live and let live if you don't understand or know the facts behind other people's lives. "
well married men wont be fucking my wife if I cant fuck there's..if you have one the share her its only fair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't care about people condemning cheating, it's the unsolicited "advice" that pisses me off.
You should just talk to them
You should get a divorce
You should leave them
You should do this
You should do that
Errrr, no, YOU should fuck off.
Do you mean on the thread or in private messages? Because the thread kinda invites this type of commentary...
Personally I don't give a shit. I won't have sex with people I know are cheating but I don't think their relationship is my business. But it would help if people didn't make their relationship a topic for public discussion, by starting a thread about it for example.
I mean private messages primarily, but there are also plenty of instances where it's a thread about something entirely different and someone "helpfully" pops up to tell the married person exactly how they should be dealing with their life.
I agree a thread inviting comment on it is different - because in that case it wouldn't be entirely unsolicited. Although I still think it's madness to presume to dish out instruction on how someone you don't know, have never met and whose relationships you know nothing about should live their life.
Everyone has their own backstory and journey to being here. It's never black and white. whilst not trying to justify cheating it's not always as simple as some think.
I always think the simplistic 'well if you're going to cheat just get a divorce' is the Fab equivalent of 'all immigrants are terrorists' - ie uninformed, ignorant and devoid of the true facts of the situation.
I understand people having their values and morals. But live and let live if you don't understand or know the facts behind other people's lives. well married men wont be fucking my wife if I cant fuck there's..if you have one the share her its only fair "
This goes to show that everyone has a different outlook on swinging. If my husband talked about me like that it might be the last time he got to have sex with me, never mind "sharing" me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The ones that I really despair at ( thought their unbelievable ignorance used to make me laugh ) are the ones that say......... ' I put married on my profile. At least i'm 'honest'. No my wife doesn't know so discretion is a must. I can do you between 2.30 a.m and 2.45 a.m in the back of my van ...... please say yes.
Attractive....mmmmmmmmmm "
Hahaha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ermmmmm Hate to say this but a marriage certificate is a legally binding document. Anyone who strays into a marriage where one party in it doesn't know is potentially straying into some pretty heavy shit. Not being judgmental or anything just stating a fact. We don't want to be named as a respondent in a marriage break up thankyou very much so tend to avoid that particular banana skin if we can.
Good luck if you are in a not very good marriage but no one knows what goes on in a marriage except the people in it.. I have been there and it is very painful and frustrating and can seem pretty awful at the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't mind if couples or single ladies don't want to meet married man, after all it's they choice who they see and why they will or wouldn't see a type of guy.
But the "talk to your wife" line does tend to get on my tits a bit, you don't ever know why I have came here in the first place or why the sex with my wife has stopped, I not trying to say that there is two types of married men on here, well maybe I am, but guys that are going out fucking other women and then going home and fucking there wives get me really pissed.
I know I am married so really can't say to much but I would kill to be still having sex with my wife, but I can't and for just over 30 years have not fucked another women or guy, just so we are clear.
Over the last 6 years I have played with a lady and a couple but Mr Happy didn't play.
Feeling and playing with a lady was amazing to do again even with the guilt and yes there was a lot of it.
I love my wife and will always love her and take care of her for the rest of my life, judge me all you like but I am human and I have feelings and you know what I hate myself more at times then any of you judgemental people ever will.
What is it they say "try walking a mile in my shoes" before you start judging me. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
Oh the judgemental thing again.
Do I judge, yup.
Do I judge married people playing away, probably
Does it impact them, no
Do I care, no
Do I think they should be on here,yes
Do I hope they meet people for sex, yes
Do I want to hear their background stories,no
Do I wish they would just get on with the shagging and spare us any bleating about how tough it is,YES
But I read this thread knowing what I would find |
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"Oh the judgemental thing again.
Do I judge, yup.
Do I judge married people playing away, probably
Does it impact them, no
Do I care, no
Do I think they should be on here,yes
Do I hope they meet people for sex, yes
Do I want to hear their background stories,no
Do I wish they would just get on with the shagging and spare us any bleating about how tough it is,YES
But I read this thread knowing what I would find "
100% this...I love you!  |
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"The ones that I really despair at ( thought their unbelievable ignorance used to make me laugh ) are the ones that say......... ' I put married on my profile. At least i'm 'honest'. No my wife doesn't know so discretion is a must. I can do you between 2.30 a.m and 2.45 a.m in the back of my van ...... please say yes.
Attractive....mmmmmmmmmm
It amuses me also. Add to that the people who meet them with a I don't care attitude as they're honest with me! How delusional are they? Do they honestly expect someone who is blatantly dishonest towards the person they've exchanged vows with to be honest with someone they just want to fuck?!!
Yeah...right!"
Exactly so. |
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"why are married men judged so much on fab?. Surely it's their choice to be on here, everyone's personal circumstances are different and they must have their own reasons.
Because it offends some peoples morals. Yes the morals of those who choose to have casual sex with strangers.
This is not me judging swingers of course. This is me questioning peoples ability to take the moral high ground on such a site.
Yes, sometimes it is deeply hypocritical, people often 'project' onto others - they like to condemn in others the facets of themselves they most abhor.
Its not hypocritical. Cheating is about deceit. There is nothing wrong with swinging. "
I don't suggest swinging is cheating, you misunderstood my point. I abhor deceit whatever the circumstances. |
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"I don't mind if couples or single ladies don't want to meet married man, after all it's they choice who they see and why they will or wouldn't see a type of guy.
But the "talk to your wife" line does tend to get on my tits a bit, you don't ever know why I have came here in the first place or why the sex with my wife has stopped, I not trying to say that there is two types of married men on here, well maybe I am, but guys that are going out fucking other women and then going home and fucking there wives get me really pissed.
I know I am married so really can't say to much but I would kill to be still having sex with my wife, but I can't and for just over 30 years have not fucked another women or guy, just so we are clear.
Over the last 6 years I have played with a lady and a couple but Mr Happy didn't play.
Feeling and playing with a lady was amazing to do again even with the guilt and yes there was a lot of it.
I love my wife and will always love her and take care of her for the rest of my life, judge me all you like but I am human and I have feelings and you know what I hate myself more at times then any of you judgemental people ever will.
What is it they say "try walking a mile in my shoes" before you start judging me."
I can condemn a behaviour without judging you personally, and having been in a marriage that became sexless I have a great deal of empathy for people in that plight. BUT I still do not believe deceit is ever going to be the right answer, and obviously your conscience agrees with me or you would not feel guilty!!!!
In my opinion in such circumstances you HAVE to find a way to do something honestly, with integrity, whatever that may be, and however hard it may be, you have to face it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't mind if couples or single ladies don't want to meet married man, after all it's they choice who they see and why they will or wouldn't see a type of guy.
But the "talk to your wife" line does tend to get on my tits a bit, you don't ever know why I have came here in the first place or why the sex with my wife has stopped, I not trying to say that there is two types of married men on here, well maybe I am, but guys that are going out fucking other women and then going home and fucking there wives get me really pissed.
I know I am married so really can't say to much but I would kill to be still having sex with my wife, but I can't and for just over 30 years have not fucked another women or guy, just so we are clear.
Over the last 6 years I have played with a lady and a couple but Mr Happy didn't play.
Feeling and playing with a lady was amazing to do again even with the guilt and yes there was a lot of it.
I love my wife and will always love her and take care of her for the rest of my life, judge me all you like but I am human and I have feelings and you know what I hate myself more at times then any of you judgemental people ever will.
What is it they say "try walking a mile in my shoes" before you start judging me.
I can condemn a behaviour without judging you personally, and having been in a marriage that became sexless I have a great deal of empathy for people in that plight. BUT I still do not believe deceit is ever going to be the right answer, and obviously your conscience agrees with me or you would not feel guilty!!!!
In my opinion in such circumstances you HAVE to find a way to do something honestly, with integrity, whatever that may be, and however hard it may be, you have to face it."
I am not saying I am right or you are I think it's something we all have to make our own minds up, I just don't know what the other options is, will I do, no more sex, which if I am honest is what I have already been doing as you can see by my profile I am only here chatting now. |
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"
I am not saying I am right or you are I think it's something we all have to make our own minds up, I just don't know what the other options is, will I do, no more sex, which if I am honest is what I have already been doing as you can see by my profile I am only here chatting now."
As I say you have my empathy. But you are obviously suffering some cognitive dissonance and if you are anything like me the stress of that will eventually become intolerable anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I am not saying I am right or you are I think it's something we all have to make our own minds up, I just don't know what the other options is, will I do, no more sex, which if I am honest is what I have already been doing as you can see by my profile I am only here chatting now.
As I say you have my empathy. But you are obviously suffering some cognitive dissonance and if you are anything like me the stress of that will eventually become intolerable anyway."
I may have already reached that point, after so long without sex the thought of a meet becomes less and less interesting and the stress or guilt I feel because less to, maybe it's more of a "I could if I wanted to but I don't" type of thing if that makes any sense, |
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"
I am not saying I am right or you are I think it's something we all have to make our own minds up, I just don't know what the other options is, will I do, no more sex, which if I am honest is what I have already been doing as you can see by my profile I am only here chatting now.
As I say you have my empathy. But you are obviously suffering some cognitive dissonance and if you are anything like me the stress of that will eventually become intolerable anyway.
I may have already reached that point, after so long without sex the thought of a meet becomes less and less interesting and the stress or guilt I feel because less to, maybe it's more of a "I could if I wanted to but I don't" type of thing if that makes any sense, "
I hope you find a place of peacev either way x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Married, attatched or with a fuck buddy. I won't meet any..
My preference is non attatched single guys that I can arrange meets with, without sneaking snippets of time here and there! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I am not saying I am right or you are I think it's something we all have to make our own minds up, I just don't know what the other options is, will I do, no more sex, which if I am honest is what I have already been doing as you can see by my profile I am only here chatting now.
As I say you have my empathy. But you are obviously suffering some cognitive dissonance and if you are anything like me the stress of that will eventually become intolerable anyway.
I may have already reached that point, after so long without sex the thought of a meet becomes less and less interesting and the stress or guilt I feel because less to, maybe it's more of a "I could if I wanted to but I don't" type of thing if that makes any sense,
I hope you find a place of peacev either way x"
Thank you that's very kind of you to say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting thread!
My take on it is that fabswingers is a site for SWINGERS - not for singles hiding behind keyboards, people wanking furiously over Skype, or for men or women to score a one night stand behind their spouses backs. There are other websites that cater for the skypewank market or for having an affair (or just go book a blooming escort!).
For me, swinging is about the scene, parties, clubs, socialising, exploring. I may well have played with married men at a club or party, not knowing they were married but just being caught up in the fun and in the moment. But as for one-on-one meets with married men, that to me isn't what swinging is about.... I don't like feeling like a dirty secret and I can't bear it when men are clock watching as they have to race home before the Mrs gets back from work.
I get at least a dozen messages from married men every day despite stating clearly on my profile that I am not interested.
Just my tuppence worth xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some married men don't even sleep in the same bed as their partners so in that scenario who are they cheating on ? Their left or right hand perhaps ?
At the end of the day I believe nobody has a right to dictate to a stranger and take the moral high ground.
They all have different circumstances they could be just taking the piss out of their unaware partner and couldn't care less, their choice.
They could be secretly Bi and want some discreet man on man action, their choice.
They could be staying with their partners until the kids grow up ( a cliché but it still happens ) their choice.
They could have such a high sex drive that they need more yet again, their choice.
I could go on there will be countless reasons but the word cheat is used for too often, if you don't like married men move on it's called a preference isn't it ?
This is 2016 nobody has a right to own anybody married or not anybody who believes that needs to get out a bit more lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting thread!
My take on it is that fabswingers is a site for SWINGERS - not for singles hiding behind keyboards, people wanking furiously over Skype, or for men or women to score a one night stand behind their spouses backs. There are other websites that cater for the skypewank market or for having an affair (or just go book a blooming escort!).
For me, swinging is about the scene, parties, clubs, socialising, exploring. I may well have played with married men at a club or party, not knowing they were married but just being caught up in the fun and in the moment. But as for one-on-one meets with married men, that to me isn't what swinging is about.... I don't like feeling like a dirty secret and I can't bear it when men are clock watching as they have to race home before the Mrs gets back from work.
I get at least a dozen messages from married men every day despite stating clearly on my profile that I am not interested.
Just my tuppence worth xx"
I think it's been said a lot on here but I'll say it again, it's your choice who you see and if you disagree with married you didn't meet them, I do feel you are right about married PMing you if you say you wont meet them on your profile, it wrong and that's one of the first things I look for as well as smokers, I smoke so what is the point in contacting someone who doesn't meet smokers , just a waste of everyone time |
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I think it's because enough people have had poor reliability and problems with difficulty arranging things, on top of finding deceit distasteful. There's obviously been a critical mass of people that have acquired the opinion that it's just wrong and that will mean that the sheer volumes are against them.
People don't have to have a justification for their preferences or beliefs and it's probably a combination of several influences.
If single profiled married people here without their partner's consent were trouble and morality-testing free they'd pretty much be invisible here. It's just something that doesn't sit right with a sizeable number of people just now. |
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