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Alternative life lessons.

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Remember, the second mouse gets the cheese

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By *ellowbabesCouple  over a year ago

newport/cwmbran

If at first you don't succeed, pay someone else to to it and go to the pub!

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury


"If at first you don't succeed, pay someone else to to it and go to the pub! "

* If at first you don;t succeed try, try again.

*Then* if you don;t succeed give up or try something else - there's no point being a damn fool about it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Have your cake and eat it , its your cake

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

If at first you don't succeed, admit it , you are a failure

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury


"Have your cake and eat it , its your cake "

I like that one

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

I like cake

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple  over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY


"If at first you don't succeed, admit it , you are a failure"

if at first you don't succeed - try doing it the way your wife told you

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If at first you don't succeed, admit it , you are a failure"

No, no. If at first you don't succeed, claim your intention was always to do whatever it was you managed. Unless that is nothing, in which case it's a research exercise or someone else's fault.

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If at first you don't succeed, admit it , you are a failure

if at first you don't succeed - try doing it the way your wife told you "

*choke*

Except it's more like, if for the first 5 times you don't succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you to.

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

What happened to the cake?

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"What happened to the cake?"

Taff ate it.

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By *riskynriskyCouple  over a year ago

Essex.

Why do today, what someone else can do tomorrow...

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Two wrongs can be much more fun than one wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What happened to the cake?

Taff ate it."

And jolly scrummy it was too

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By *bwitchedwarlock69Couple  over a year ago

Batley, West Yorkshire

If at first you don't succeed... Maybe parachuting isn't for you.

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman  over a year ago

Richmond

If the grass is always greener on the other side of the hill, you're not using the right fertilizer.

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

When opportunity knocks, do not call the noise abatement society.

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Procrastinating should always be left until tomorrow.

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Never eat yellow snow

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When life gives you lemons buy a Soda Stream.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

DNA dyslexics help is at hand

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

Money can't buy you happiness - but it can buy a diamond-studded wheel chair

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

Rome wasn't built in a day, you say?

Well if the Italians didn't wave their hands around so much it might have been done quicker.

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

Do not punish yourself.

You deprive the world of its purpose.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman  over a year ago

Back where I belong

Who wants to suck seeds, I'd rather suck .......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You can't argue with stupid.... as if often proved in the forums

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

Men lie.

Women wear perfume and make up. And lie.

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury


"You can't argue with stupid.... as if often proved in the forums "

As I say:

"Spend too long arguing with an idiot and the casual observer won't be able to tell who's who."

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

What a lot of people don;t realise is that if you look at things globally, from a strictly economic perspective - that makes you a wanker.

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

All men are brothers. Hence war.

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

SEX: if you want it badly then that's how you'll get it.

(is actually a verification I left for someone who annoyed me)

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

In love, as in fighting, the winner has an 8-foot pole.

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

Life is like an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical - very popular and not as bad as some would have you believe.

That is unspeakably awful but mercifully brief.

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

A million monkeys were given a million typewriters - it's called the internet.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don't go to bed on an argument. Stay up and fight.

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By *riskynriskyCouple  over a year ago

Essex.


"Money can't buy you happiness - but it can buy a diamond-studded wheel chair"

I'd rather cry in a Bentley than on a bus...

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By *andybeachWoman  over a year ago

In the middle


"When life gives you lemons buy a Soda Stream. "

If life gives you lemons make lemonade, if it gives you diabetes forget the lemonade

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Before you criticise a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way then you'll be a mile away, and you'll have his shoes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you love something let it go, unless its a tiger

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Always be yourself, unless you can be a dragon, in which case then always be a dragon

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By *andybeachWoman  over a year ago

In the middle

An early worm in the bush keeps the birds happy

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

A woman is like a piano - if she's not upright, she's grand?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What the eye doesn't see, the foot trips over.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I paid my son $10 to do the dishes, then mugged him on the way to the bathroom.

Because....life lesson.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If at first you don't succeed.

Do it differently.

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Life is a bed of roses

Little pricks everywhere

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

When you look in the mirror in despair and none of your clothes seem appropriate, don't worry, relax, put the kettle on.

It might suit you.

And in any case when one is wearing the kettle the rest of one's clothes seldom attract comment.

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By *iss AdventureWoman  over a year ago

Wonderland

"You made your bed, now lie in it"

That was kinda the point of making the bed in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Don't learn from your mistakes, learn from the mistakes of others so you don't make any.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A bird in the hand is worth a finger in her bush.

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury


"A bird in the hand is worth a finger in her bush. "

10 in the hand is worth 1 in Kate Bush

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A bird in the hand is worth a finger in her bush.

10 in the hand is worth 1 in Kate Bush "

One of Kate's bush is worth ten of my hands.

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Don't go to bed on an argument. Stay up and fight. "

And then have angry sex.....

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By *iamondjoeMan  over a year ago

Glastonbury

Behind ever successful man lies a woman.

And one in front of him too, if he's lucky.

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By *enard ArgenteMan  over a year ago

London and France

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day;

Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day....

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