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Practical advice needed
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"So some know my stepdad has just been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and has just a few months to live. Hes being discharged from hospital once everything is put in place. All the big things are sorted but im on a mission to make everything as easy and stress free not only for him but also my mum. Ive got lots of things in my head but im sure theres things i havent thought of. At the moment he is still able to still get downstairs. Im just wandering anyone can come up with some little simple ideas i may not have thought off. I dont want this to be a sympathy thread" Speak to his palliative care nurse practitioner or his CNS - they will be able to suggest lots of little things based on other patients experience, that no one else (unless they have been through it themselves) would dream of. Good luck and be strong x | |||
"So some know my stepdad has just been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and has just a few months to live. Hes being discharged from hospital once everything is put in place. All the big things are sorted but im on a mission to make everything as easy and stress free not only for him but also my mum. Ive got lots of things in my head but im sure theres things i havent thought of. At the moment he is still able to still get downstairs. Im just wandering anyone can come up with some little simple ideas i may not have thought off. I dont want this to be a sympathy thread Speak to his palliative care nurse practitioner or his CNS - they will be able to suggest lots of little things based on other patients experience, that no one else (unless they have been through it themselves) would dream of. Good luck and be strong x"  | |||
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"I'm sorry to hear about your step dad. One thing that did work well with my Mum being nursed at home was having a kind of rota - of other family and friends who would pop in to keep her entertained and to feed her. And to support us near the end. Something nice to look at out of the window. I planted some planters up. Audio books. Lots of other things too- I'll pm you later if that's ok. Sarah " that would be great thankyou got quite a bit of what you said covered | |||
"So some know my stepdad has just been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and has just a few months to live. Hes being discharged from hospital once everything is put in place. All the big things are sorted but im on a mission to make everything as easy and stress free not only for him but also my mum. Ive got lots of things in my head but im sure theres things i havent thought of. At the moment he is still able to still get downstairs. Im just wandering anyone can come up with some little simple ideas i may not have thought off. I dont want this to be a sympathy thread Speak to his palliative care nurse practitioner or his CNS - they will be able to suggest lots of little things based on other patients experience, that no one else (unless they have been through it themselves) would dream of. Good luck and be strong x" | |||
"So some know my stepdad has just been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and has just a few months to live. Hes being discharged from hospital once everything is put in place. All the big things are sorted but im on a mission to make everything as easy and stress free not only for him but also my mum. Ive got lots of things in my head but im sure theres things i havent thought of. At the moment he is still able to still get downstairs. Im just wandering anyone can come up with some little simple ideas i may not have thought off. I dont want this to be a sympathy thread Speak to his palliative care nurse practitioner or his CNS - they will be able to suggest lots of little things based on other patients experience, that no one else (unless they have been through it themselves) would dream of. Good luck and be strong x" This i had the same with my dad. The stairs were the main thing xx | |||
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"im not sure if it will relate to your situation but i read a case where a loving wife felt robbed by valuble time left with her husband by the amount of visitors he had towards the end.. her point was 'you werent there at all during the latter stages of his life when he was well'.. and due to the visitors she missed the very end Id be pee'd off too.. Maybe if there is a rota.. perhaps take this into account. Naturally no one can tell when someone will pass.. but ultimately at the end you want very closely involved people " we have one tiny hospice unit here that is funded by someone that died. Its beautiful and like a home from home but you need a prognosis of 4 weeks or less before you can go in | |||
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"Have you gone over with him his final wishes regarding cremation/burial etc? Music at a ceremony etc Is he religious man? would he like a visit from the church etc? I feel we dont talk about death enough.. its the only guarantee we have in life " this is what him and my mum will be doing its just the little things i can do to make there lives better | |||
"So some know my stepdad has just been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and has just a few months to live. Hes being discharged from hospital once everything is put in place. All the big things are sorted but im on a mission to make everything as easy and stress free not only for him but also my mum. Ive got lots of things in my head but im sure theres things i havent thought of. At the moment he is still able to still get downstairs. Im just wandering anyone can come up with some little simple ideas i may not have thought off. I dont want this to be a sympathy thread" . My heart goes out to you it truly does, I have been through it twice now and there are so many things that just pop up, a lot of it is going to be things you will need to overcome along the way so the best advice I could offer would be to get in contact with your local hospice, you don't need to be going in there or even visiting for them to help, once they know about you they are always at the end of the phone and we found them the quickest route to get anything we needed that cropped up last minute, they are 24 hr at the end of the phone, if you need to talk and they have teams that cover every avenue, we needed a hospital bed fight at the very end to be put in the living room they had it sorted in half a day, we had many pain crisis situations where the doctor was going to be hours we whizzed him to the hospice and pain was sorted and settled and back home, if you did want to use them then the respite care and end of life care is second to none, and they are a huge support to you as a family, they have family counsellors although even the nursing staff have a listening ear if you just need to get it all out, get to know them, you and your stepdad will truly benefit, and lastly all I can say is don't be afraid to wallow and cry once in a while, but brave face always works when you need to be strong, it's almost like if you put that brave face on then nothing can touch you and don't be scared to laugh and smile and say the things that might seem wrong but will make you all laugh, you will need those moments to look back on, be proud of yourself, it's not something anyone will understand if you haven't been there, be proud that your doing this, because it's one of the hardest things you will ever do, but you'll do it, because you have too, hugs, aj, mrsxxxxxxx | |||
"So some know my stepdad has just been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and has just a few months to live. Hes being discharged from hospital once everything is put in place. All the big things are sorted but im on a mission to make everything as easy and stress free not only for him but also my mum. Ive got lots of things in my head but im sure theres things i havent thought of. At the moment he is still able to still get downstairs. Im just wandering anyone can come up with some little simple ideas i may not have thought off. I dont want this to be a sympathy thread. My heart goes out to you it truly does, I have been through it twice now and there are so many things that just pop up, a lot of it is going to be things you will need to overcome along the way so the best advice I could offer would be to get in contact with your local hospice, you don't need to be going in there or even visiting for them to help, once they know about you they are always at the end of the phone and we found them the quickest route to get anything we needed that cropped up last minute, they are 24 hr at the end of the phone, if you need to talk and they have teams that cover every avenue, we needed a hospital bed fight at the very end to be put in the living room they had it sorted in half a day, we had many pain crisis situations where the doctor was going to be hours we whizzed him to the hospice and pain was sorted and settled and back home, if you did want to use them then the respite care and end of life care is second to none, and they are a huge support to you as a family, they have family counsellors although even the nursing staff have a listening ear if you just need to get it all out, get to know them, you and your stepdad will truly benefit, and lastly all I can say is don't be afraid to wallow and cry once in a while, but brave face always works when you need to be strong, it's almost like if you put that brave face on then nothing can touch you and don't be scared to laugh and smile and say the things that might seem wrong but will make you all laugh, you will need those moments to look back on, be proud of yourself, it's not something anyone will understand if you haven't been there, be proud that your doing this, because it's one of the hardest things you will ever do, but you'll do it, because you have too, hugs, aj, mrsxxxxxxx" thankyou, he was a fireman and soon as they heard they where out to see my mum there is absolutly nothing they cant take care of from financial, to practical to volunters so thats a massive weight of their mind | |||
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"So sorry to hear that. While there's time, does he have a bucket list to work through? Sometimes having those things to look forward to will give a brief respite " this is the thing he cant do much hes weak and can only walk short distances with a frame | |||
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"I lent my gran my bird feeder as she was confined to a hospital bed at one end of the lounge/diner. She loved seeing the birds. " thankyou yes these are the little type of suggestions i mean | |||
"im not sure if it will relate to your situation but i read a case where a loving wife felt robbed by valuble time left with her husband by the amount of visitors he had towards the end.. her point was 'you werent there at all during the latter stages of his life when he was well'.. and due to the visitors she missed the very end Id be pee'd off too.. Maybe if there is a rota.. perhaps take this into account. Naturally no one can tell when someone will pass.. but ultimately at the end you want very closely involved people we have one tiny hospice unit here that is funded by someone that died. Its beautiful and like a home from home but you need a prognosis of 4 weeks or less before you can go in" Do they, or a larger one further away off a hospice at hone service? Some hospices assist with the palliative care needs of non residents too | |||
"Its there wedding anniversary tomorrow i picked up this bloody amazing card all 3d with bits hanging off. Then i put it back and got a normal card as im not sure it was a good idea going over the top" So sorry about your step dad. I would say do as you've always done. I used to be a care worker and in my experience it's good to keep things like anniversaries, birthdays etc the same as they've always been. I don't know how old your step dad is but maybe some old movies, music etc, everything that makes him smile. Take care x | |||
"im not sure if it will relate to your situation but i read a case where a loving wife felt robbed by valuble time left with her husband by the amount of visitors he had towards the end.. her point was 'you werent there at all during the latter stages of his life when he was well'.. and due to the visitors she missed the very end Id be pee'd off too.. Maybe if there is a rota.. perhaps take this into account. Naturally no one can tell when someone will pass.. but ultimately at the end you want very closely involved people we have one tiny hospice unit here that is funded by someone that died. Its beautiful and like a home from home but you need a prognosis of 4 weeks or less before you can go in Do they, or a larger one further away off a hospice at hone service? Some hospices assist with the palliative care needs of non residents too" yes, but the ideal situation is he stays at home then goes to the local one where people can just pop in and out even just for 10 minutes the nearest others are 25 miles away | |||
"Its there wedding anniversary tomorrow i picked up this bloody amazing card all 3d with bits hanging off. Then i put it back and got a normal card as im not sure it was a good idea going over the top So sorry about your step dad. I would say do as you've always done. I used to be a care worker and in my experience it's good to keep things like anniversaries, birthdays etc the same as they've always been. I don't know how old your step dad is but maybe some old movies, music etc, everything that makes him smile. Take care x" hes 73 hes been a die hard leicester fan all his life and even if they dont win theyve had an amazing season and i want to try and get hold of a programme for the final game this season | |||
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