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It was a good meet but.....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Tried that but it hasn't worked. One is a guy I have met loads before but we are at different places in life. I would to date him but he is only interested in fucks |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Tried that but it hasn't worked. One is a guy I have met loads before but we are at different places in life. I would to date him but he is only interested in fucks "
Be firm. Tell him you aren't interested and if he persists you'll have no choice but to block him.
Sometimes you just have to for the sake of your own sanity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tried that but it hasn't worked. One is a guy I have met loads before but we are at different places in life. I would to date him but he is only interested in fucks "
tell him like it is - |
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Just say dear mr sausage thank you for the meets etc but I don't feel that I can no longer meet you as I don't feel that we are looking for the same thing at this time...wish you well on fab take care  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tried that but it hasn't worked. One is a guy I have met loads before but we are at different places in life. I would to date him but he is only interested in fucks "
It sounds like you really want to make it more than he does, so best to kove on and find someone who does.
You will find one just keep looking  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Just say dear mr sausage thank you for the meets etc but I don't feel that I can no longer meet you as I don't feel that we are looking for the same thing at this time...wish you well on fab take care "
Mr Sausage  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He is a weird one as he keeps getting loads of offers that he turns down and yet keeps pestering me for a meet but then in the same breath tells me he is just after nsa. When I point out he can get that elsewhere he says it's not the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always have social meets first and find it really hard when the guys are full on and ask if I want to meet again when I don't really fancy them.
At the end of the day I'm not going to shag someone just because I'm too much of a pussy to say no thanks. I still hate doing it though.
Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just say dear mr sausage thank you for the meets etc but I don't feel that I can no longer meet you as I don't feel that we are looking for the same thing at this time...wish you well on fab take care "
That sounds a nice way of saying it
If he trys to le about it then just block! theres no reason to get upset about it lifes too short  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He is a weird one as he keeps getting loads of offers that he turns down and yet keeps pestering me for a meet but then in the same breath tells me he is just after nsa. When I point out he can get that elsewhere he says it's not the same."
You need to tell him exactly why you want to stop. He might suprise you and really want the same thing. |
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"He is a weird one as he keeps getting loads of offers that he turns down and yet keeps pestering me for a meet but then in the same breath tells me he is just after nsa. When I point out he can get that elsewhere he says it's not the same."
Tell him to 0121 do one...he sounds like he is playing games |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"He is a weird one as he keeps getting loads of offers that he turns down and yet keeps pestering me for a meet but then in the same breath tells me he is just after nsa. When I point out he can get that elsewhere he says it's not the same."
So you don't really want to stop seeing him or block him, you just want him to give in and give it to you on your terms.
It ain't gonna happen.
He wants you for sex. You can go along with that, let him keep pestering and saying no or block him.
I suspect you knew this before you asked us.
Because he prefers sex with you to sex with other people doesn't mean he wants more. He clearly doesn't. He wants NSA with you. He's been clear. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I always have social meets first and find it really hard when the guys are full on and ask if I want to meet again when I don't really fancy them.
At the end of the day I'm not going to shag someone just because I'm too much of a pussy to say no thanks. I still hate doing it though.
Mrs x"
A lot of guys on here think women enjoy the power trip and ego boost of turning lots of guys down but actually, I'm like you; I don't enjoy it.
I'd rather people read my profile and didn't contact me if they're not what I'm looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He is a weird one as he keeps getting loads of offers that he turns down and yet keeps pestering me for a meet but then in the same breath tells me he is just after nsa. When I point out he can get that elsewhere he says it's not the same.
So you don't really want to stop seeing him or block him, you just want him to give in and give it to you on your terms.
It ain't gonna happen.
He wants you for sex. You can go along with that, let him keep pestering and saying no or block him.
I suspect you knew this before you asked us.
Because he prefers sex with you to sex with other people doesn't mean he wants more. He clearly doesn't. He wants NSA with you. He's been clear."
And that's why I won't meet him again. And he has been told. And I told him that if he wanted more to let me know but otherwise to let it go. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"He is a weird one as he keeps getting loads of offers that he turns down and yet keeps pestering me for a meet but then in the same breath tells me he is just after nsa. When I point out he can get that elsewhere he says it's not the same.
So you don't really want to stop seeing him or block him, you just want him to give in and give it to you on your terms.
It ain't gonna happen.
He wants you for sex. You can go along with that, let him keep pestering and saying no or block him.
I suspect you knew this before you asked us.
Because he prefers sex with you to sex with other people doesn't mean he wants more. He clearly doesn't. He wants NSA with you. He's been clear.
And that's why I won't meet him again. And he has been told. And I told him that if he wanted more to let me know but otherwise to let it go."
And if he isn't doing that you have to just ignore or block him. You can't make him stop pestering you. |
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"He is a weird one as he keeps getting loads of offers that he turns down and yet keeps pestering me for a meet but then in the same breath tells me he is just after nsa. When I point out he can get that elsewhere he says it's not the same.
So you don't really want to stop seeing him or block him, you just want him to give in and give it to you on your terms.
It ain't gonna happen.
He wants you for sex. You can go along with that, let him keep pestering and saying no or block him.
I suspect you knew this before you asked us.
Because he prefers sex with you to sex with other people doesn't mean he wants more. He clearly doesn't. He wants NSA with you. He's been clear."
This! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sound a like he wants his cake and to eat it too. Maybe one more "warning" then cut it off if he can't make any sense of it."
By Mr Ben Man
just this minute!
Yorkshire
"Sound a like he wants his cake and to eat it too. Maybe one more "warning" then cut it off if he can't make any sense of it."
Cut it off !!! ???
That's a bit extreme in my opinion?
Can't you just block all contact platforms he uses so you can both no longer converse?
Or do you actually enjoy this game of power you're both playing to see who gives in first?
 |
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"I'd have blocked him already. I've a low tolerance for people not respecting a "no" and continuing to pester.
I don't care how hot they are or how fabulous a shag."
Again this! I say no once. If they don't understand a block makes it clear. I truly struggle to understand why people make a drama out of this. Honestly, how hard is it to say your piece then ignore? |
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"Sound a like he wants his cake and to eat it too. Maybe one more "warning" then cut it off if he can't make any sense of it.
By Mr Ben Man
just this minute!
Yorkshire
"Sound a like he wants his cake and to eat it too. Maybe one more "warning" then cut it off if he can't make any sense of it."
Cut it off !!! ???
That's a bit extreme in my opinion?
Can't you just block all contact platforms he uses so you can both no longer converse?
Or do you actually enjoy this game of power you're both playing to see who gives in first?
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He is a weird one as he keeps getting loads of offers that he turns down and yet keeps pestering me for a meet but then in the same breath tells me he is just after nsa. When I point out he can get that elsewhere he says it's not the same.
So you don't really want to stop seeing him or block him, you just want him to give in and give it to you on your terms.
It ain't gonna happen.
He wants you for sex. You can go along with that, let him keep pestering and saying no or block him.
I suspect you knew this before you asked us.
Because he prefers sex with you to sex with other people doesn't mean he wants more. He clearly doesn't. He wants NSA with you. He's been clear.
And that's why I won't meet him again. And he has been told. And I told him that if he wanted more to let me know but otherwise to let it go."
Just be very cool with him, you've made your position clear - it's not want you want. If you want to date , not just shag then stand by that.
Sarah
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"I'd have blocked him already. I've a low tolerance for people not respecting a "no" and continuing to pester.
I don't care how hot they are or how fabulous a shag.
Again this! I say no once. If they don't understand a block makes it clear. I truly struggle to understand why people make a drama out of this. Honestly, how hard is it to say your piece then ignore?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sound a like he wants his cake and to eat it too. Maybe one more "warning" then cut it off if he can't make any sense of it.
By Mr Ben Man
just this minute!
Yorkshire
"Sound a like he wants his cake and to eat it too. Maybe one more "warning" then cut it off if he can't make any sense of it."
Cut it off !!! ???
That's a bit extreme in my opinion?
Can't you just block all contact platforms he uses so you can both no longer converse?
Or do you actually enjoy this game of power you're both playing to see who gives in first?
"
That's not what I was getting at, at all  |
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It's quite clear who this person is from your profile , and from the verifications you have left each other it does sound like you are already in the early stages of a relationship . I'm guessing your main form of contact isn't fab and you probably text all the time . It says you've introduced him to your friends as well.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't want a repeat.
I have a few of these atm and I don't know how to let them down gently. I don't want to block them.
Ideas please"
It's tough. We gave several of these and not on has ended well. We try to let them down gently, but normally people seem to take it as an insult.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sound a like he wants his cake and to eat it too. Maybe one more "warning" then cut it off if he can't make any sense of it."
Dont you nean it sounds like the OP wants HER cake and eat it? Why is it his fault? He is being clear about his intentions but OP keeps dangling the carrot... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's quite clear who this person is from your profile , and from the verifications you have left each other it does sound like you are already in the early stages of a relationship . I'm guessing your main form of contact isn't fab and you probably text all the time . It says you've introduced him to your friends as well.
"
Wrong man..... and he isn't date able. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Sound a like he wants his cake and to eat it too. Maybe one more "warning" then cut it off if he can't make any sense of it.
Dont you nean it sounds like the OP wants HER cake and eat it? Why is it his fault? He is being clear about his intentions but OP keeps dangling the carrot..."
Except she's said no. She shouldn't need to block him to enforce that.
He's been told her deal. He's to let her know if things change, otherwise not bother her.
She's also been clear but he won't accept no and keeps pestering.
Still, as I said, I'd have blocked him already. It doesn't get much clearer than that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The reason I haven't blocked him is he is someone that I know rl outwith fab (although we met again on fab not knowing the other was fabber). And no he hasn't veried me but as he came back to fab again after a recent relationship I re veried him. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"The reason I haven't blocked him is he is someone that I know rl outwith fab (although we met again on fab not knowing the other was fabber). And no he hasn't veried me but as he came back to fab again after a recent relationship I re veried him."
Then you're allowing him to pester you and can't reasonably complain.
I suspect you like the attention and the feeling of being wanted, even if not on the terms you want.
You don't want to cut contact because you're still hoping he'll do what you want.
Really you're holding sex over him as a lure to get what you want.
He shouldn't be pestering but you're not exactly innocent in all of this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The reason I haven't blocked him is he is someone that I know rl outwith fab (although we met again on fab not knowing the other was fabber). And no he hasn't veried me but as he came back to fab again after a recent relationship I re veried him.
Then you're allowing him to pester you and can't reasonably complain.
I suspect you like the attention and the feeling of being wanted, even if not on the terms you want.
You don't want to cut contact because you're still hoping he'll do what you want.
Really you're holding sex over him as a lure to get what you want.
He shouldn't be pestering but you're not exactly innocent in all of this."
This |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Interesting comments from the men re game playing and carrot dangling "
Well when a woman says "no" we all know she really means "maybe".
Replying at all is an invitation to continue the conversation and try to persuade her. Not blocking means maybe. Not moving to a different continent and changing identity means maybe
It's like another thread on here recently saying all women have the potential to be bi, it just needs to be awakened. So when a woman says she's straight, she really means she's bi.
Obviously men need to tell us what we want and need, and pester us to ensure we do it, because we certainly don't know our own minds, silly little fluff heads that we are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting comments from the men re game playing and carrot dangling
Well when a woman says "no" we all know she really means "maybe".
Replying at all is an invitation to continue the conversation and try to persuade her. Not blocking means maybe. Not moving to a different continent and changing identity means maybe
It's like another thread on here recently saying all women have the potential to be bi, it just needs to be awakened. So when a woman says she's straight, she really means she's bi.
Obviously men need to tell us what we want and need, and pester us to ensure we do it, because we certainly don't know our own minds, silly little fluff heads that we are "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tried that but it hasn't worked. One is a guy I have met loads before but we are at different places in life. I would to date him but he is only interested in fucks "
can't see you having a problem with this one ..tell him you want to date him and watch him run |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"Tried that but it hasn't worked. One is a guy I have met loads before but we are at different places in life. I would to date him but he is only interested in fucks "
I had a similar thing but I hadn't met him, blocking is the only option if they are pestering you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't want a repeat.
I have a few of these atm and I don't know how to let them down gently. I don't want to block them.
Ideas please"
Do as we have done and add it to your profile .
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"Tried that but it hasn't worked. One is a guy I have met loads before but we are at different places in life. I would to date him but he is only interested in fucks
can't see you having a problem with this one ..tell him you want to date him and watch him run "
Absolutely! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He is a weird one as he keeps getting loads of offers that he turns down and yet keeps pestering me for a meet but then in the same breath tells me he is just after nsa. When I point out he can get that elsewhere he says it's not the
So you don't really want to stop seeing him or block him, you just want him to give in and give it to you on your terms.
It ain't gonna happen.
He wants you for sex. You can go along with that, let him keep pestering and saying no or block him.
I suspect you knew this before you asked us.
Because he prefers sex with you to sex with other people doesn't mean he wants more. He clearly doesn't. He wants NSA with you. He's been clear."
very much this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When he asks to meet again say no and give an excuse. Keep doing it and he might get bored and leave you alone. "
This I keep doing. Because he is someone I know in rl blocking him would just create more bother as I will still see him out and about. The other guys who are looking for a second meet I have messaged saying I'm not looking to meet them again - one was OK about it. The other became all whiney and difficult and I had to block him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd have blocked him already. I've a low tolerance for people not respecting a "no" and continuing to pester.
I don't care how hot they are or how fabulous a shag.
Again this! I say no once. If they don't understand a block makes it clear. I truly struggle to understand why people make a drama out of this. Honestly, how hard is it to say your piece then ignore?"
I am exactly the same, I can't understand why people can't be assertive with others.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op I get the feeling you won't be more assertive with this guy because you don't want to upset him just in case he does decide he wants to date you. If he wanted to take it further he would have asked you by now. Instead he's told you he just wants sex with you, nothing more.
Now you can carry on seeing him and accept it all on his terms or be assertive. There is no need for any angst either. You simply say I want nsa with lots of different guys, we've had a great time but now I want fun with others. Enjoy your swinging. Simple.
If they whine about it as in messaging all the time, ignore the messages.
I don't get any of that kind of rubbish because I simply don't put up with it. |
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