FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > funniest phoe call of the day

funniest phoe call of the day

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *muma OP   Woman  over a year ago

Livingston

Him: Wendy, I've got a problem

Me: what's up pal

H: I've broke ma knob

M: how the feck did you do that (stifle laughter)

H: I was out dogging and got it caugt on my zip, it's been bleeding for an hour and I'm in agony, what should I do

M: how heavily is it bleeding now, where from, and have you tried stemming the blood flow

H: still quite heavy, fae ma bell end and I've wrapped a tea towel round it. I'm in serious agony here

M: get to hospital you may need stitches

H: ok, I'll phone ma da to take me and I'll ge ye a shout when I get home

This was an actual conversation about an hour ago and I'm still laughing. I know I shouldn't laugh, but sometimes you just can't help yourself

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ornwall-maleMan  over a year ago

newquay

you nasty woman ha ha. did he get any action before he started to bleed?! lol x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *muma OP   Woman  over a year ago

Livingston

don't know I was laughing to much to ask!!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ornwall-maleMan  over a year ago

newquay

ha ha.

did you call him a bloody nob lol x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

You are so wicked but that is so funny, wonder if hes going to have the same conversation with his mother

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *muma OP   Woman  over a year ago

Livingston


"ha ha.

did you call him a bloody nob lol x"

naw called him a careless dickhead though

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

poor bloke. I did it at Chams. Was wearing some cut off jeans, and zipped up a bit too quick. I bled like a pig.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Him: Wendy, I've got a problem

Me: what's up pal

H: I've broke ma knob

M: how the feck did you do that (stifle laughter)

H: I was out dogging and got it caugt on my zip, it's been bleeding for an hour and I'm in agony, what should I do

M: how heavily is it bleeding now, where from, and have you tried stemming the blood flow

H: still quite heavy, fae ma bell end and I've wrapped a tea towel round it. I'm in serious agony here

M: get to hospital you may need stitches

H: ok, I'll phone ma da to take me and I'll ge ye a shout when I get home

This was an actual conversation about an hour ago and I'm still laughing. I know I shouldn't laugh, but sometimes you just can't help yourself"

you should have asked him to send you a pic of it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *layfullsamMan  over a year ago

Solihull

only in america, a copy of a real phone call

Dispatcher: Sheriff's department, how can I help you?

Woman: Yeah, I'm over here . . . I'm over here at Burger King right here in San

Clemente.*

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: Um, no, not San Clemente; I'm sorry, I live in San Clemente. I'm in

Laguna Niguel, I think, that's where I'm at.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I'm at a drive-through right now.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I went . . . I ordered my food three times. They're mopping the floor

inside, and I understand they're busy . . . they're not even busy, okay, I've

been the only car here. I asked them four different times to make me a Western

Barbeque Burger. Okay, they keep giving me a hamburger with lettuce, tomato, and

cheese, onions, and I said, "I'm not leaving . . ."

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: I want a Western Burger because I just got my kids from Tae Kwon Do,

they're hungry, I'm on my way home, and I live in San Clemente.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Woman: Okay . . . she said, she gave me another hamburger; it's wrong. I said

four times, I said, "I want it to go. Can you go out and park in front?" I said,

"No, I want my hamburger right." So then the . . . the lady came to the manager.

She . . . well whoever she is, she came up and she said, um, she said, um, "Do

you want your money back?" And I said, "No, I want my hamburger. My kids are

hungry and I have to jump on that toll freeway." I said, "I am not leaving this

spot," and I said, "I will call the police," because I want my Western Burger

done right! Now is that so hard?

Dispatcher: Okay, what exactly is it you want us to do for you?

Woman: I . . . send an officer down here. I . . . I want them to make me . . .

Dispatcher: Ma'am, we're not gonna go down there and enforce your Western Bacon

Cheeseburger.

Woman: What am I supposed to do?

Dispatcher: This is . . . this is between you and the manager. We're not gonna

go and enforce how to make a hamburger; that's not a criminal issue. There's . .

. there's nothing criminal there.

Woman: So I just stand here . . . so I just sit here and [block]?

Dispatcher: You . . . you need to calmly and rationally speak to the manager and

figure out what to do between you.

Woman: She did come up, and I said, "Can I please have my Western Burger?" She .

. . she said, "I'm not dealing with it," and she walked away. Because they're

mopping the floor, and it's also the fact that they don't want to . . . they

don't want to go through there . . . and . . . and . . .

Dispatcher: Ma'am, then I suggest you get your money back and go somewhere else.

This is . . . this is not a criminal issue. We can't go out there and make them

make you a cheeseburger the way you want it.

Woman: Well . . . that is . . . that . . . you're supposed to be here to protect

me.

Dispatcher: Well, what are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?

Woman: No . . .

Dispatcher: Is this like . . . is this a harmful cheeseburger or something? I

don't understand what you want us to do.

Woman: Just come down here. I'm not . . . I'm not leaving.

Dispatcher: No ma'am, I'm not sending the deputies down there over a

cheeseburger. You need to go in there and act like an adult and either get your

money back or go home.

Woman: She is not acting like an adult herself! I'm sitting here in my car; I

just want them to make my kids a . . . a Western Burger.

Dispatcher: Ma'am, this is what I suggest: I suggest you get your money back

from the manager and you go on your way home.

Woman: Okay.

Dispatcher: Okay? Bye-bye.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0155

0